'Nothing is wrong with honest emotion.'

- Tony Goldwyn

November 25th, 2015

7:30 AM

Florence Moore Hall Residence

Stanford, California

Fitz's POV

"This is...nice." I struggle to find the words to describe Liv's poor excuse of a dorm room, which makes her laugh.

Liv strides across the room and grabs a duffel bag. "It's not much compared to your fancy ass studio apartment, but it's whatever. These past few months, I have learned to become less materialistic."

I look around the room while Liv stuffs clothes in her bag. She's packing for Los Angeles, which makes my heart beat faster. I don't know if asking her to come is the right choice. I know it's what I want but in the end, I'm not sure it's what's best. I don't know how it'll turn out. But I am happy she's going. Spending time with her, no matter what situation we're in, means a lot to me.

And her room really isn't bad. It's in an amazing residence hall and the only thing strange about it is that it's almost empty. No furniture, nothing but two beds and two desks. I don't think she comes here very often.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower," Liv turns to me.

She throws off her shirt and walks to the bathroom topless. My eyes can't help but follow her. I don't know how she can so casually whip off articles of clothing in front of me. I don't think it makes her slutty or anything. I just think that it means she's comfortable with to me - which makes me so happy.

Maybe she doesn't think I'll think of her in that way, but she's wrong about that. I am thinking about her like that. She's gorgeous and I would be so lucky to have her. And if I had less self control, I would follow her into the shower right now. But I do have more self control. More than that, I respect the hell out of Livvy. I know she thinks she's trashy but I honestly don't. She's not the type of girl you find on the street, take home, fuck, and never talk to again. She's more than that.

I hear the water turn on. She's out of sight but she left the bathroom door open. I turn away and to distract myself, I walk over to the other side of the room and look at the things she does have out.

On the foot of her bed are a bunch of albums. I'm one of those guys that believe you can learn a lot from someone by their taste in music. As I expected, she's a rap girl. I'm not saying that because of her race, but I just got that vibe from her. She has newer albums from Drake and J. Cole but also some older ones from Eminem and such. Surprising me, there's also some Weeknd and Frank Ocean in the mix. The fact that she's an R&B girl is just really sexy to me.

My eyes go up to the side of the bed.

Her green work clothes. Ugh. I'm reminded of how much I hate the fact that she has to work for that asshole. If she would let me, I would pay her way through college just so she didn't have to stay with him. But I know she wouldn't.

I look at the clothes scattered around on her side of the room. Shorts, crop tops, tight dresses, heels, tank tops...the funny thing is, as trashy as these clothes might be, they're not cheap things. They're fancy, designer brands. As far as I can see, the underwear she's stuffed into the duffel bag is all Victoria Secret. All her bags are either MK or Gucci. And her duffel bag is an original Nike one. Whenever Liv got all this, she was in a good place financially. And since she has that crap job at the coffee place, I guess she's not anymore?

Her phone buzzes with a tumblr notification and it lights up. I can see her wallpaper is a picture of her and a guy that looks like he could be her father. It's pretty recent - at her high school graduation, it looks like. They're in front of the school and she is holding a shitload of certificates with her diploma.

It's only now I'm realizing that despite my caring about Liv, despite her falling asleep in my arms, I barely knew anything about the girl until now. I know she has a good taste in music, I know she gets panic attacks, I know she wears nice clothes, I know she lived with her dad and I suspect he had money.

From the looks of it, Olivia is a hell of a lot more interesting than I'll ever be. Interesting and complicated.

And I can't help but compare her to Mellie. Mells is, despite her erratic personality, really smart. I actually met her here in Stanford. I graduated first in my class and she graduated second. We were the power couple. Despite that, she never went to grad school and she doesn't plan to. She doesn't even plan to have a job and I know the reason why. Mellie wants me to be the guy who makes the money and she just wants to be by my side when I do it. And I'm okay with that, you know? If that's what she wants, it's whatever to me. I don't need to her to work. But she has so much potential, just like Olivia, and she's not using it. She just doesn't care.

Mellie is beautiful and smart, but that's where her similarities with Olivia stop. Liv is kind. Despite her rebellious attitude, she doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She always shares notes in class and always catches up the students who fall behind. She's modest but confident. She's a sweetheart. She's unapologetic and she does what she wants, but she doesn't hurt people.

Mellie is...Mellie. She's selfish. She's insecure. She's angry. She's not vulnerable though. She has walls that I have been trying to pull down for years but it's not working.

And I have no idea how she'll react when I show up to the house with Liv. But I know it won't be good.

Do I love Mellie? Yes. But I'll be the first to admit that I rushed into that relationship. That engagement. If it were up to me, it would have ended a long time ago. But it's not up to me. It's up to Big Jerry, who literally controls my life. I would stop him if I cared enough, but I don't. If I have to live my life with Mellie, I can. I won't be happy, but I can do it.

And right now, it doesn't look like I'll have any other choice.

Olivia's POV

The water rushing down, hitting my body feels warm, but not nearly as much as Fitz's arms last night. If it were up to me, I would have stayed like that for a very long time. But life goes on.

Just the idea that I'm going across the state to Fitz's house is enough to make me nervous. I can't quite process it. And Fitz, being a very private person, hasn't told me about his family and I have no idea what to expect. If I had the choice, I would be private too. But last night's events? Let's just say that Fitz knows more about me than the average person does.

And I trust him. I really do. Leaving this bathroom door open is a test and so far, he's passing it. He hasn't come in, even though I know he wants to.

I can't say I'm totally against it either.

"Are you okay?"

Ever since Fitz put my bag in the trunk of his fancy car and we left campus, we've been riding in silence. I think the weight of this whole thing is catching up to us. And I know he's worried about me. I'm worried about me too.

I turn to look at Fitz. His eyes are on the road but I can tell he's distracted. But he looks so indescribably beautiful in a white pinstripe shirt and black dress pants.

"What about you?" I grin and rest my elbow on the window pane. "Are you okay with the fact that you're dressed like you're going to your senior prom?"

Fitz laughs. It's literally the sexiest thing I have ever heard. "If I showed up to my house in jeans and a t shirt, my dad would make it so that I wouldn't live to return back to Stanford."

I smirk. I got the vibe that his family was strict and proper so I'm dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans, a white, oversized knit sweater and wedges. "What's your dad like?"

"Eh." Fitz frowns and I can clearly see he doesn't want to talk about it.

But he can't get out of this so easily. "Oh my god, you're so secretive. I literally poured my heart out to you these past few hours and you can't tell me what your father is like?"

"Why don't you tell me about yours?" Fitz suggests.

I sigh and lean back into the leather seat. "Point taken." Fitz laughs and I roll my eyes. "Let's talk about the fact that we're driving to Los Angeles. It's five hours. You could have taken a plane."

"I could have," Fitz nods. "But then I would miss out on the quiet, alone time while driving."

I look at him. "Is that you're way of telling me to shut up?"

"Something like that," Fitz teases.

I roll my eyes again and lean up to turn on the radio. After flipping through the foreign west coast stations, I find one playing 'Can't Feel My Face' by the Weeknd. "I love this song."

"I know."

I raise my eyebrows. "You know?"

Fitz nods. "I saw his album on your bed."

"So you were searching through my things, essentially stalking me."

Fitz laughs again. "I mean, you did leave me alone in your room for fifteen minutes while you showered."

I turn to face outside the window, bringing my legs up under me to sit on them. Looking out the window into the warm, sunny California streets is putting things into perspective for me. I'm in a car with Fitz Grant. And there are so many unasked questions between us and that's why I feel tense. "Why didn't you come in?"

"What?"

I keep my eyes glued out the window. "The bathroom. Why didn't you come in?"

Fitz doesn't answer and I regret asking. Some things are better left unsaid. I just made everything ten times more awkward for us. But it's strange how he's not answering.

Just when I'm about to change the subject, he speaks up. "Because."

I turn to look at him and I find that he's blushing. "Because why?"

"Because," he repeats matter of factly. "I didn't think you wanted me to."

Now it's my turn to blush. That's not the answer I expected. "I didn't."

"Uh-huh," Fitz smirks. "Sure."

I roll my eyes. "I didn't!"

"Okayyyy."

"Fitz," I playfully punch his shoulder.

"Ow," he grabs it with his free hand. "You can't harass the driver!"

"Too bad," I punch him again. "I didn't say I wanted you to come in. Despite what your big ego makes you believe, not every girl wants you. Not me, at least."

"That's what they all say."

I sigh. "Speaking of girls wanting you, what does your wife think about me coming to LA with you?" If Fitz were single, I would have already had sex with him to be honest. I hope Fitz knows that I really don't fuck with taken guys like that. At least before we get too flirty.

"She's not my wife and no, she doesn't know," Fitz admits. He cracks a grin. "But she will soon."

"Is she going to be mad?"

"Yes," Fitz answers matter of factly.

I turn to face him. "Fitz!"

Fitz sighs. "Look, I'm not going to lie to you. Yeah, Mellie will be pissed. That's just the type of girl she is. But hopefully she won't take it out on you. It wasn't your idea to come with me."

I keep on looking at him. "You don't talk about your wife in the most loving terms."

"Like I said," Fitz inhales. "Mellie is not my wife. She's my fiancée. And I don't want to talk about her with you."

"Why?" I ask. I know I'm annoying him but I don't care. I can be stubborn to. I need to know about their relationship before I show up at his house, unannounced. I am not trying to get beat up by Mellie. "Does she already know about me? Does she know what happened in August?"

"She saw the bruises through FaceTime," Fitz replies. I can tell by the look on his face that that did not end well. "I told her that I fought this guy but I didn't tell her why. She was still pissed regardless."

I chuckle, but I'm really asking in all seriousness. "Fitz...do you think what we're doing is wrong? Sleeping in each other's arms and stuff? Do you feel like you cheated on her?"

Fitz raises his eyebrows. I can tell he's surprised that I am asking such forward, direct questions but I don't want to dance around this subject. Especially when a huge relationship is at stake.

"I don't want you to worry about that," Fitz mumbles his pathetic excuse of an answer. "I know you have good intentions."

"I know you do too." I tell him. And it's true. Nothing sexual whatsoever happened between us. I mean, his thumb traced the skin on my waist and he saw me in my underwear, but everything else was strictly nonsexual. I was literally in sweats when I slept in his arms. We never kissed or anything. Well, he did kiss my cheek which was so sweet but that doesn't count.

The point is, Fitz was faithful towards Mellie and respectful towards me. But I'm asking him this because I felt something emotionally intimate with him and I wonder if he felt it too. "Fitz..."

Fitz sighs again, heavier this time. I can tell he didn't want to discuss this. "You're eighteen."

"I know."

"You're practically a kid."

"I know."

"So what are we doing?"

"I don't know." I take a deep breath. "You tell me, Fitz."

He inhales sharply. "Can we not talk about this right now, Livvy?"

It's not like I want to talk about these deep ass things. I'm actually a very superficial person. But this is important to me. Fitz is important to me. And I can't just let that go. "Fitz-"

"Damn it," Fitz shouts unexpectedly. "Can you just shut the hell up, Olivia?"

I stare at him, taken aback. I really didn't mean to make him yell at me but he did and it was completely out of nowhere. He has never shouted at me or around me and even though his angry voice is hot, it's also scary as fuck. I look out the window and shut up.

I can hear him sigh. "Livvy..."

"It's okay," I whisper. If I speak any louder, I know I am gonna end up crying and I have had enough of that since last night. I'm regretting coming along right about now. "It's...okay."

"No it's not," Fitz protests gently. He rests his hand on my thigh and I know he feels bad. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. This is not your fault. None of it is."

I don't know if he's just saying that so I don't start crying. I know he hates it when I cry and I feel bad about that. "It's okay."

"It's not," Fitz mumbles, taking his hand off my thigh.

I can tell by his voice just how guilty he feels. It makes me upset but I need a minute to get myself together. I don't like getting yelled at and I take it to heart when someone like as sweet and soft spoken as Fitz does it.

I don't say anything and we're both silent again for a few minutes. A new song pulls up on the radio and before I know it, Fitz is mumbling along to the words.

"I promise that one day I'll be around, I'll keep you safe, i'll keep you sound."

I know Fitz is just singing to make me smile and I have to say, it's working. He's not really trying but he has such a cute singing voice. I turn to him and he's facing me, beaming.

Luckily, he turns his eyes back to the road and but he keeps on singing with the most adorable look on his face. "Right now it's pretty crazy and I don't know how to stop or slow it down..."

I grin and watch him as he keeps on singing along with the lyrics. "Hey, I know there are some things we need to talk about...but I can't stay. Let me just hold you for a little longer now..."

I can't help but join into the verse, so we're both singing loudly and completely off key. "Take a piece of my heart... And make it all your own... So when we are apart... You'll never be alone...You'll never be alone... When you miss me close your eyes... I may be far but never gone.."

We finish our horrible singing and end up laughing until our stomachs hurt.

"I'm sorry," Fitz pants, trying to catch his breath and clutching the steering wheel. "I really am sorry, Livvy..."

I try to catch my breath as well. The huge smile on my face can't seem to fade. "It's really okay, Fitz."

And we go and talk about other things. It's not awkward anymore. I know we're both hurting but right now, we're not worried about that. Right now, we're just laughing with each other and listening to the verse repeat itself.

And hey

I know there are some things we need to talk about

And I can't stay
Just let me hold you for a little longer now

And take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You'll never be alone

AN: WELL what do you guys think?

I know that the quote doesn't really match the theme of the chap but it's from Tony and he's an exception.

And the song sung by them is 'Never Be Alone' by the beautiful, extremely talented Shawn Mendes.

Just to let y'all know, this trip is gonna take up a couple of more chapters! But they're pivotal to the story. And if you don't love Olitz content...well I don't know why you're reading this story, lol.