That night was the best night sleep I'd had in years, it felt like I'd been asleep for years when I awoke to Steve clattering around. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, looking over to see him digging through a wooden box by the front door.
"Whatcha doing?" I mumbled, Steve spun around,
"Mary! Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I'm looking for my baseball cap, I swear I had in somewhere around here…" He trailed off, emptying the box completely,
"Need a hand?"
"No, no, I bet Bucky's got it."
"Okay."
As I pulled back the blanket and looked down to untangle myself from the sleep shirt, my eyes widened in horror, Blood! I pulled the blanket back over myself pressing it to where the blood was, I must have cut myself in my sleep. Steve was too engrossed in searching for his cap, Sarah entered the room as I silently panicked to myself.
"Good morning, Mary! How're.." She paused looking straight up me "What's wrong?"
"I'm bleeding." I whispered trying to not catch Steve's attention, "I must have hurt myself in my sleep, I'm sorry, I can clean it-"
"Sweetie, it's okay, let's go to the bathroom," She looked at me, sympathetically, why do I get the feeling she knows something I don't? I clutched the blanket tightly around my hips and waddled to the bathroom, Sarah behind me. "Now, wait a minute, while I grab some new clothes."
I stood frozen to the spot until Sarah returned, a bundle of clothes under her arm and a bucket and pail full of warm water in keep hand.
"I need some bandages; the bleeding isn't stopping!" I panicked, she pouring the bucket and pail of water into the bathtub, placing the clothes in the side.
"Sweetie, don't you worry, it's nothing for you to worry about, this all means your becoming a woman. It's natural,"
"I don't undertand"
"It's called menstruation, all women go through it, this will now happen once a month, you will bleed the badness out from between your legs and then it'll be over until the next month, it's not too bad."
"I'm going to bleed like this once a month, forever now?!"
"Well, not forever, but a long time-"
"How do I stop it? I don't want this," I let out a sob I'd been holding in, still wrapped in the bloody blanket.
"Now, don't you cry, this is good, you're becoming a woman! Sure, you'll have a once a month nasty bit but the rest will soon to dancing, courting, movie shows with boys!"
"Boys!? I live on the street, how can I deal with this and every-"
"Shh, let's calm down, you take another bath, wash all the blood away, I'll go soak these sheets and then I'll bring you some pads,"
"Pads?"
"They sit in your underwear to help soak up the blood, menstruation is different for everybody but can last a few days."
"Oh." I let out another sob.
"Shh, shh, shh." She patted my head softly, "Bath. It'll make you feel better." I washed and soaked for a little while, anxious to get out of the red tinged water. Sarah knocked before entering with some fabric in her hand. Sitting on the closed toilet seat she talked me through everything. "So, these are homemade pads, they're clean, layered cloth sewn together, wear one in your knickers, get yourself through the day and change as needed, washing the old one out. Salt works best to remove the stains"
"Isn't it uncomfortable?"
"I don't think so, but even so it's only for a day or two," She smiled encouragingly, "I'll leave them here, your dress is all dried and I've just folded them here, when you're ready, get dressed and I'll make you some breakfast."
"Thank you,"
I quickly got out, drying myself, reluctantly putting on my street rat clothes, with an added pad in my knickers. I adjusted myself a few times before leaving the bathroom, the first thing I noticed was the sofa looked damp, as if freshly washed. Steve was nowhere in sight.
"I sent Steven out to go see Bucky. Here, strawberry jam and bread, eat up and then we're going out," Sarah smiled.
After a quiet breakfast, Sarah wrapped me in an old coat and we left the apartment together. We walked a few blocks before we stopped in front of a shop front, Sarah pushed the door open and motioned for me to enter.
"Come on, Sweetie,"
Entering the store, a kind looking woman waved to Sarah from behind a register.
"Good morning, Sarah! How're you today? I haven't seen you in a few weeks, how's my Stevie?"
"Morning Ange, I'm good, Stevie's good, I'm here with my new friend, Mary, can you help us out?"
"Good morning, Mary, what sort of patterns and colours do you like?" I frowned, confused,
"Patterns?" I look around the store, there's huge rolls of fabrics. "I... I don't understand"
"We're going to pick out some fabric for you and I'm going to make you some new clothes, I can't afford to buy you clothes, but I can easily make you some nice dresses." Sarah smiled down at me,
"I... I can't pay for this?" Sarah let out a small laugh,
"Mary, I am paying for this, now go pick out 3 fabrics from that wall," she pointed to the back wall of the store, I paused
"Go on, Angel, just tell me which you like and I'll get them for you," Ange smiled. I walked over, running my hands over the fabrics. There seemed to be hundreds of different options, I sighed, this is hard. It took a while but I picked out my fabrics, a plain grey, a plain navy and a darker grey.
Sarah frowned, "Now Mary, surely you saw some patterns you like?"
"But if they get dirty, I'll get sad. The greys and blue will hide the dirt better."
"Sweetie, I want you to pick out pretty colours or patterns, don't worry about dirt or mess, if you get messy you've got me, I can always clean them for you, okay?"
"Okay, I'll have another look."
I look a deep breathe before I walked back to the wall. There were polka-dots, stripes, and bright colours, I think I remember papa talking about mama wearing a polka-dot dress. It took a few more minutes before I looked over to Sarah and Ange talking, Ange noticed and came over.
"You choose some, love?"
"Yes, can I please pick, this one, that one and that one" I pointed to a plain red fabric, a blue checked fabric and a cream and black polka-dot fabric.
"What wonderful choices!" Ange smiled, pulling them to her work bench and began measuring "Sarah, how much of each?"
"2 metres should be about right, and how about a few metres of a white cotton so I can add an underlay,"
"Of course," Ange started to measure and cut, "So Mary, what's your favourite colour ever?"
"Um, I like red,"
"I can see that, from this lovely fabric you chose, any other colour?"
"Um, yellow?"
"You sure about that?" She smirked,
I giggled, "Yes, I think so."
"Okay well that's good to know."
Sarah walked me around the store while Ange finished cutting, Sarah picked up some thread and buttons, before working our way to the counter. Ange rung Sarah up and put the materials into her basket.
"Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you Mary, I hope to see you again soon, and Sarah give Stevie a kiss and cuddle from me!"
"Of course, Ange, thank you,"
"Goodbye Ange!" I smiled and waved.
Sarah and I went into the grocers and butchers before we started to walk back to the apartment.
"Wait! Beth! You were going to help me find Beth! She'll be worried!"
"Oh! Of course, where did you say she'd be?"
"Well we were going to meet at the Brooklyn Bridge last night, but maybe she'll be there now?"
"Okay, well it's just a little walk from here, so let's go!"
"Do you want me to carry the basket?"
"It's fine Sweetie. Once we speak to Beth let's get back home and I'll fit you for your new clothes!"
"Okay."
It took a little while, maybe 10minutes but we made it to the Bridge, I stopped in front of Sarah. "Maybe you should wait here, it's not a place for ladies"
"Then why are you here?" She smirked,
"I'm not a lady like you, Sarah, it's real dirty down there"
"Well then, we best be quick and not scuff our shoes too much," She smiled, holding out her hand, I took it and lead her down the make shift path to the bottom of the bridge.
"Blondie! How's it going?" A loud boy shouted as I walked over "Who's the pretty dame?!" I frowned at him, "Okay, okay, you just missed Beth! She was looking for you, you need me to tell her you've been here?"
"Son, where did she go?"
"Ma'am she had to attend to a customer." He blushed, "She probably won't be back to this spot for a few days."
"Oh. I see, well could you give her a message for us?"
"Yes, ma'am,"
"Here's my name and street address," she handed him a hand written note, "Mary is going to be staying with me for a few days, tell her to come see me when she's free and her and Mary can meet and talk, is that okay?"
"Yes, ma'am, I'll keep it safe," he tucked the paper into his pant pocket, before looking at me "I'm happy for you, Mary, finally getting off the streets... even just for a little while." I nodded and smiled,
"Thank you, son, that's very kind of you, here take this," Sarah pulled some bread and marmalade out of her basket and handed it to him.
"Ma'am, thank you!" He smiled widely.
As Sarah and I walked back to the apartment I asked her about what she said about me staying for a few days.
"I hope you'll accept the offer; I'd love to have you stay, it'll give me time to make your dresses,"
"I'd love to stay, thank you so much." I smiled, quickly wiping away a tear. I don't think she saw; I hope not.
As the apartment came into view, so did Steve and Bucky, walking towards us.
"Mom, Mary, hi! Where have you been?" Steve yelled, smiling.
"Yeah we've been looking for you!" Bucky yelled
"No need to shout boys, we've just been running a few errands, Stevie be a dear and take this basket for me,"
"Yes mom," he struggled with the weight, Bucky helped him carry it to the apartment, we followed behind them.
Steve put the basket down on the coffee table, and started to unpack it, between him and Bucky they put away all the produce before pulling out the fabric. "Mom, what's all this?"
"I picked up some fabrics to make Mary some new clothes, she picked them herself, aren't they pretty?"
"Yeah," Steve and Bucky pulled each out, before pulling out some yellow cotton fabric and lace "This is fancy!"
Sarah and I both frowned, "We didn't choose this," Sarah sighed with a smile "Mary, I think we should bake a cake for Ange, looks like she's gifted you some yellow fabric"
"Wow, they're so beautiful" I touched the lace in Steve's hands "I've never seen anything so pretty, and dainty."
Bucky laughed, "Look in a mirror!" Steve and I spun to look at him "Oh, uh I mean... the dainty bit!"
"Bucky do you think Mary is pretty?" Steve teased.
"No!" He yelled, then paused, "I mean, not that I don't, Mary I mean, I, this is stupid." He frowned.
I giggled, "I think you're pretty too, Bucky."