I have looked at you in a million ways

And loved you in each

- Unknown

November 27th, 2015

7:14 AM

Grant Estate

Los Angeles, California

Olivia's POV

My eyes widen. "You did not."

Fitz can't stop laughing, his torso toppled over the granite counter. "We did. Tom and I set off a stink bomb at his high school graduation. It was delayed for three hours."

"Fitz," I put my hand over my mouth to cover my own grin. "That's horrible."

"That's not even the worse thing we did as kids," Fitz shakes his head. "I mean, that is as far as I went, but Tom is crazy. He..." Fitz starts laughing so hard that his face turns red and he can't finish his sentence.

This feels so natural - sitting on the kitchen island with Fitz early in the morning, in our pajamas drinking coffee. I had to settle for sleeping alone last night in his room so I'm just trying to appreciate every spare, stolen moment I have with him. Like watching the sunrise from the huge window in the kitchen.

I can never get over how easy it feels to just sit down and talk to him. There is no awkwardness, nothing like that. We talk like we have been doing so for years instead of days. It's kind of hard to get him to open up, but when you do, it's worth it. He has kept me laughing with stories about him and Tom getting into trouble when they were teenagers.

"Tell me what he did," I giggle.

Fitz takes a minute to compose himself, but ends up in another laughing fit. He takes a deep breath. "Okay, so back when I was maybe fifteen or so, Tom's family and mine used to do everything together. So one summer, it was just my family going to the Bahamas with my girlfriend's family."

"Mellie?" I ask.

Fitz shakes his head. "This was before her. It was this girl I had been dating back then. We weren't serious." Fitz grins. "And Tom was just really jealous he couldn't come along. So when after I was done packing, he switched my suitcase..." He begins laughing again, then cups a hand over his mouth. "Okay, so, he switched my suitcase and he put a ton of porn magazines and condoms in it. Like, three hundred condoms and ten magazines and a metal spoon so it beeped at security."

"No..."

"Yes," Fitz can barely keep himself together to tell the rest of the story. "And they opened it up in front of everybody...and all you could see were condoms and porn magazines...I swear my dad still hates me to this day..."

I burst out laughing - so hard that my stomach hurts. "No way! I could so see Tom doing that though."

Fitz nods through chuckles. "He was always the crazy one." He takes a sip of his coffee and takes a deep breath, still red from laughing so hard. But I don't mind. He has a cute laugh. "Anyway, what about you? What wild adventures have you gotten into in the past?"

"What..." I raise my eyebrows innocently. "None. I'm a very boring person."

Fitz scoffs. "I find that very hard to believe."

"Okay," I admit, grinning. "I have done some pretty crazy things. Especially these past two years. But I can't tell you anything. You'd judge me."

"I won't!" Fitz protests.

"You will," I tease. Then my smile fades a little bit. "I kind of feel like you have been doing that ever since I showed up to your door with drugs in my pocket."

"No," Fitz sighs deeply, like he knew I was gonna bring this up. "No, it's not like that. I have no right to judge you. Do I worry? Yes, I am always gonna worry. And I am not apologizing for that. But I am not judging you."

I frown, but in all honesty, I believe him. I really believe him. And him not judging me means a lot. But I am still pretty insecure and the way I see it, he is still out of my league. He may love me, he may accept me...but do I love me? Do I accept me? I don't really know that yet.

"Livvy," Fitz comes across in front of the island and smiles softly at me. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't," I sigh, resting my hands on the handle of my coffee mug. "I'm just thinking."

Fitz shakes his head, chuckling softly. "You think way too much."

"I can't help it," I frown. "I'm just...I don't want to lose you."

Fitz frowns too, his expression suddenly very serious. "Olivia. You're not going to lose me."

"Fitz," I mumble, not looking at him. "I want to be okay with all of this. I want to just be happy. But I'm so unsure. Like, what's going to happen? If I go back to Stanford-"

"Sh," Fitz holds up his hand cutting me off.

"Fitz-" I begin to protest, but he just hushes me.

"First of all," he begins, like he has this all figured out even though I know he doesn't. But he keeps his hand up and his eyes locked into mine anyway. "Stop worrying. Take a deep breath. Okay?"

I know he's worried I am gonna have a panic attack so I just listen to him and take a deep breath.

"Good," Fitz cracks a soft smile. "Secondly, there is no 'if' you go back to Stanford. You are going back to Stanford because you are brilliant, you are intelligent, you earned your spot and you deserve to be there. What did you say you wanted to do? Criminal law?" I nod and his smile grows wider. "You're gonna graduate and kick ass at criminal law. There is no debating that. You are not giving up or compromising your education, not for me, not for anyone. Ever. Do you understand?"

I reluctantly nod.

"I need to hear you say it."

I roll my eyes. "I understand."

"Secondly," Fitz's encouraging smile fades. "I need you to stop worrying about Mellie. I am going to break up with her. I am going to be with you. I need you to trust me. Can you do that? Can you trust me?"

I shrug honestly.

"Olivia, I need to hear you say it."

I sigh deeply. "I trust you."

"Good," Fitz smiles, satisfied. "Can we stop talking about this?"

"No," I say, firmly this time. I won't let him dismiss all this. Not this time. "Are you going back to Stanford? I know you don't want to." Call me selfish, but a part of me wishes he did want to pursue politics, only so he would be near me and it would be easier to be together. But if he wants to do other things, I have his back one hundred percent. "Fitz."

Fitz sighs deeply. I can tell he's been debating this with himself for a while. "Honestly, Livvy? I don't want to go back. Stanford isn't for me. I'm surprised it's taken four and a half years to realize that."

I nod, forcing myself to put on a sympathetic, supportive expression. "If you don't go back...where are you going to go?"

This makes him crack a small smile. "I'm going to be behind you always, but I have no idea what I am gonna do." He laughs a little, like he's a little bit embarrassed. "But, and only Tom knows this, I really want to get into teaching. That is what I didn't tell you in the car."

I raise my eyebrow. "Like Professor Beene?"

"No," Fitz admits slowly. "Like, grade school kids. I would love to be an elementary chool teacher, if I got the chance."

I smile. I can so completely imagine Fitz doing that. He is so great with kids from what I have seen. It's so adorable. "That's amazing, Fitz. I know you can do it."

Fitz blushes. I can tell he doesn't really talk about this. But I can see his eyes hiding a smile. "But seriously, don't worry. I'm not leaving you and you're not going to lose me."

I somehow produce a small smile. I don't even want to begin thinking about being in school without him. How much I am going to miss him. I am not a very attached, needy person, but with him, it's different. But I am, however, very happy that he's going to do what he wants. "I'm proud of you, Fitz."

"Thank you," Fitz beams and I can tell that that means a lot to him. He clears his throat. "Now, let's stop overthinking this. What do you want to do today?"

"Whatever," I reply candidly. "I just want to spend time with you. I don't care what we do."

"I want to take you shopping," Fitz tells me and I can't help but laugh. "What? Come on, we're in the biggest shopping town in the world. Let's go shopping."

I giggle. "I'm not going shopping with you, Fitz."

"Come with me," Fitz passes me another cup of coffee accompanied by a soft kiss on my cheek.

I smile but shake my head. "I'm not going."

after all he's done for me, I am not about to let him spend his money on me.

"Why?" Fitz sighs. "How can you not be a shopping girl with all those fancy clothes you wear?"

I laugh, but shake my head again. "I love shopping and I love spending time with you but I'm not letting you spend money on me."

"Why?" Fitz stomps his foot like a kid. "I love you..."

I watch his cheeks blush when he says that last part and I blush too. We're not used to saying that to each other casually, even though we both mean it, so every time it happens, we blush like twelve year olds.

"I love you," Fitz repeats, his eyebrows raising.

"I love you too," I take the coffee from him. "But...I am not going shopping with you."

"Please," Fitz extends his arms so they wrap around my waist. "I don't wanna be without you."

I roll my eyes but grin. "You're so needy."

"I'm not needy," Fitz protests, frowning. "I just want to spoil my girlfriend."

I shake my head. "I'm not your girlfriend. Until you break up with her...Fitz, I mean it. I am not your girlfriend. Okay? And I am not going shopping with you."

Fitz rolls his eyes defeated. I smile and rest my hand on his forearm sympathetically.

"Who's going shopping?"

The voice behind us makes me pull my hand off him in record speed. I sit up straight and swallow. Mellie Grant strides into the kitchen and opens the fridge, a smug look on her face. I'm not scared of Mellie but I know a part of Fitz is. He hasn't stood up to her yet and although it's kind of annoying, I don't hold it against it. I know they don't love each other like that and that's what makes me not feel guilty for loving Fitz in this way.

"Good morning, Mellie," I say something, because Fitz looks way too annoyed to. His eyes are lowered on the floor and he is just angrily holding his coffee cup. "Fitz is going shopping. I know you went last night, but you should go with him again." Fitz shoots me a look and I just shrug innocently. There is still a part of me that's kind of insecure when it comes to Mellie. She may be kind of a bitch but she's really intimidating. I don't want her to go psycho and fight me if she thinks I'm with Fitz in the way that I actually am. "You should go, Fitz. It'll be fun."

Mellie whips around and smiles brightly. She walks towards Fitz and wraps both her arms around one of his. He blatantly shrugs her off but she doesn't look like she cares at all. "Of course it'll be fun!" She looks at me, her smile instantly gone. "We don't need you to tell us it's gonna be fun."

The look on his face says otherwise...I try to smile myself. "Of course...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"But you did." Mellie scoffs. "Ever since you came here, you have been-"

Fitz mumbles something, cutting Mellie off. His eyes are still locked on the floor and he looks angrier than I have ever seen him.

"What's that, honey?" Mellie asks, her fingers stroking his light brown wavy hair.

"I said leave her alone," Fitz repeats loudly. Mellie raises her eyebrows and opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Fitz doesn't even give her the chance. "Leave her alone, Mellie. She did nothing to you. You don't have any leverage to act like this - not towards her. Just leave her the hell alone."

"Fitz," Mellie touches his cheek after a stunned moment, but he gets up, pushes past her and grabs his keys that are next to the sink.

He angrily marches across the kitchen and inhales, stopping briefly next to me. With rage in his eyes, he mumbles, "Sorry, Liv. I'mma see you soon." and he just walks out of there.

I have literally never seen Fitz that mad and I am kind of just sitting here in shock. His yelling voice is really sexy but it's hard to focus on that when he's upset. I hate seeing him like that. I hear the door slam loudly and that brings me back to reality. A few feet to my right, Mellie Grant is standing there, just as awed as I am. Something tells me that Fitz doesn't really stand up to her.

But she slowly shakes her head like that was nothing, her brunette curls bouncing against her shoulders. I hear her take a deep breath to compose herself before she turns to me, who is just awkwardly sitting there. "Can I ask you something?"

I swallow, not really knowing how to respond. Her voice sounds way too calm and collected and it's kind of freaking me out. "Uh, yes?"

Mellie clears her throat. "Can you stop having sex with my husband?"

"W-what," I stutter when I am able to form coherent words. I press my lips together and exhale. I have no idea what to say.

She doesn't give me the opportunity. "Please don't try to deny it, Olivia, because I know it's happening and-"

"It's not!" I tell her, desperate honesty in my voice. "I have never slept with him, Mellie, I swear."

"Then can you stop trying to?" Mellie cocks her head to the side. "I know you think you're special, honey, but you're one out of hundreds of thirsty girls at that school, dying to get their hands on Fitz. You're nothing."

I swallow, more pissed off than scared. Where does she get off accusing me of sleeping with a taken man? I haven't had sex with Fitz and until he breaks it off with Mellie, I won't. "If I'm nothing, why am I here? Why did Fitz even bother to bring me home?"

"Because he feels sorry for you," Mellie looks at me blankly, like I'm an idiot. "It's a pity thing. But unfortunately, sweetheart, we do not run a charity. And I don't appreciate anyone trying to take advantage of my husband-"

"He's not your husband." I take a deep breath. "And I am not taking advantage of him. I didn't know Fitz was this well off."

"Sure," Mellie shrugs sarcastically.

It's fine if she doesn't believe me. I don't need her to. If Fitz knows that is the truth, that is all that matters. His money has nothing to do with why I am attracted to him. To why I love him. I'm not used to this type of wealth, even though my dad is well off. I am not comfortable with it and I can tell Fitz isn't either.

"Mellie," I take another breath. I don't feel like arguing with her. "I did not sleep with Fitz. I am not using him for money. I didn't ask to come here. You either believe that or you don't, it's none of my business."

"You know what else isn't your business?" Mellie demands. "Our relationship. So you stay out of it."

I stare at her. That's one thing we can agree on. I don't want to have anything to do with this mess of an engagement. I just want Fitz to break it off soon so I never have to see Mellie Grant. Something tells me that she doesn't want to see me again either.

I will fight for Fitz, but I won't fight over him. I love him and I want to be with him but I'm not going to sit here and just have this cheap back and forth arguing I'm not that type of girl and I don't think Mellie is either. Fitz told me he will break up with her and I trust that he will. I don't need to interfere with this.

Without saying anything, I slowly get up. I don't have anything else to say to her and if she keeps on making bitchy comments towards me, I might actually slap her and I don't want to do that. So I am just gonna peacefully leave.

But she stops me. She holds out of her arm and physically stops me from leaving the kitchen. "Olivia."

"What?" I practically shout. I inhale. I actually have a pretty bad temper and if provoked, I really can fight. So I just want her to let me leave. That is what's best for both of us. "Please let me go."

"I want you to listen to me," Mellie replies cooly, unfazed by my pleading. "Do not get in the way of our relationship. You don't want to do that."

Too late. I just take a deep breath. It's not worth fighting her about this so I just mumble, "Okay."

But she shakes her head and refuses to let me pass. She lowers her voice. "You don't understand."

"I don't care," I blatantly tell her, pushing her arm down.

I am about to leave the kitchen when she says something that makes me stop dead in my tracks.