Midnight couldn't come soon enough; I was constantly checking the pocket watch Bart had hanging on this bunk. At 11.50 everyone was dead asleep, I grabbed my uniform jacket, trousers and boots, pulled them on as I snuck out. I waiting less than five minutes for Bucky, he snuck around the corner and smiled his usual Bucky smile.

"Hey doll, okay first things first, you still stink, come on we'll go to the shower block-"

"No way Bucky! You're not going to watch me shower!"

"No Mary. I'm going to stand watch." He rolled his eyes, "You really think I'd try and peek? Do you think that little of me?"

"No, it's just-"

"I'm kidding, come on,"

We quietly made our way to the shower block, Bucky going in first and checking it was empty, I followed.

"Wait, I don't have a towel or anything!"

"That's why I bought mine and some soap," He pulled them from behind his back, how hadn't I noticed?

"Thank you" I smiled, "Now stand guard."

I stepped into a cubby and pulled the curtain, I didn't hear Bucky leave,

"Bucky? Are you still there? Leave!"

"I can't see anything Mary, and this way I can talk to you,"

"Oh, okay then" I stripped and hung my uniform on the hook just outside the cubby, careful to make sure the curtain was covering me, "Well…"

"Right, so, where to start, Mary? You are here illegally and won't let me send you home, so we're going to have to be really careful but I've got a plan to get you moved into my barracks. That way I can keep you safe and hopefully help keep your cover."

"Wait, your barracks? How is that possible?"

"Well, I don't think it'll take a lot of convincing, you said it yourself you're the best in your troop on runs and the courses, and you're weapon skills are great. I'll just say I want the best in my top crew."

"So you think I'm the best?" I laughed as I lathered soap over my body

"Yes." There was a pause, "You've always been the best at something, at home it was surviving, and then mending, and looking after me and Steve and now it seems you'll be the best at being a Solider... wait until Steve finds out," He laughs

"We need to find Steve," I dropped the laughter

"Don't worry, he's probably somewhere else in Europe, well that's if he got through bootcamp without hurting himself, if that's the case, he's probably home, wondering where the hell you are!"

"What if he is?! I should send a letter to the apartment,"

"You can do that, while I work on my plan to move you,"

"Thanks, Bucky," I was finishing up my shower, "I didn't intend for you to find out Mike was me, I was just going to be in the background making sure you and Steve were okay, fighting with you..."

"It's okay, well it's not because I'm going to be worried sick when we go into the war zone, but at least I get to see you," I pulled the towel around my body "Honestly, all I could think of every night for the first week was how much I'd miss you... and Steve!"

"Me too," I stepped out with the towel wrapped tightly, Bucky tried and failed to hide his glance over my figure. I laughed.

"How the hell do they think you're a guy?" I blushed, laughing again

"Well, a lot goes into my disguise... I bound my chest every day, most nights, I deepen my voice, I sometimes use dirt to give myself a 5 o'clock shadow... and I use a pair of socks to... you know... give myself," I point to my crotch. ".. you know..."

He laughed, "That's ridiculous, you really thought of everything..."

"I couldn't risk being found out, you said it yourself it's illegal."

"Why couldn't you have pretended to be a nurse? That's safer, it's..."

"A woman's job? I know, but where's the fun in that?" I smiled, then sighed, "Also I didn't think of that..."

"I just... This is going to be hard, what you've done here so far is nothing compared to a real mission... and I'm giving you a heads up, we're due one, a week tops."

"I'll be fine, Bucky"

"You'll be fine as long as I can keep you near me," I sighed and stepping into the cubby to put my uniform back on, I always wanted him to tell me he'd want me near, but right here, right now, it sounds like a chore.

"Here's your towel and soap," I came out fully dressed, "Thank you,"

"It's okay, you smell and look so much better," he smiled, "Look, it's best we get back, you need your sleep, we've got a lot of training planned in tomorrow,"

"Okay,"

We walked quietly back to my block, "Goodnight, Private Stevens"

"Goodnight Serg."

Bucky was right, today was a busy day, but not for training, the sirens went which meant we were expecting an attack. It was 6am and we all dived out of our bunks, I didn't have to worry about anyone looking while I changed as everyone was too preoccupied getting themselves up and out. I was changed quickly and out of the block with Cal and Bart, we raced to the weapons block as instructed and picked up our issued rifles and ammunition packs and headed to our stations. Our block was ordered to the south-east of the barracks and ordered to shoot anyone not in Uniform and to alert of any tanks. I heard from passing soldiers that Bucky's troop was surveying the surrounding areas and forest following the sirens.

It felt like an hour had passed as I lay alert with my finger on the trigger and eyes trained on the horizon. Cal turned his head to me to talk, as soon as I glanced over hellfire seems to rain down. A bullet whipped between Cal and I, we immediately aimed our rifles and shot at the enemy racing to bombard the camp. Soldier's called out to alert the generals - the German's came in droves. Looking at the horizon it seemed 100's of Germans had appeared from thin air.

I aimed and shot, and again and again, until I was out, I called for cover as I reloaded, and then got back to firing. I was horrified but I made a hit every time. As every man I hit went down the tears would threaten more to fall.
Rage consumed me as I heard Bart yell in agony, he'd been hit, I paused to look and yell for a Medic, it was a shoulder wound.

I fired with anger and again needed to reload, I screamed for an ammunition pack, soldiers from all sides seemed to throw them to me. Another pack down the German's looked to be retreating, but we followed, I followed, I shot them as they ran, I shot them for Bart, I shot for Steve and for Bucky. I felt an arm pull me back.

"Solider, they're retreating, stop. We've got soldier's tracking them, they're abandoned their tanks, stop." I took a deep breath, lowering the rifle, "You did good, son, go see a medic,"

I was bursting with adrenaline, I didn't notice the bullet pass through my own shoulder, as my heart started to slow, I felt it. I turned back to the camp to see the carnage of bullet hit blocks and soldiers, Bart was being taken away on a stretcher and so were many others. I walked slowly back in a daze, it hit me, I had killed men, I had killed a lot of men. I walked through the camp in a daze until I felt arms hold me at shoulder length.

"Thank God you're okay," it was Bucky, "Snap out of it, I can't hold you like this, I'm going to let go," He did, "Hey, talk, what happened?"

"I killed men, I killed Germans, a lot of them." I muttered

"It's what soldiers do, if you didn't shoot them, they'd have shot you... wait, your shoulder, why aren't you with a medic?!"

"Um... oh yeah." I blinked a couple of times trying to clear the haze,

"Come on," Bucky led me away,

"Where did you go?"

"What? Oh, the forest to the North, that's where the reported sightings were, it was a bait and switch. They got us to the North and attacked the South. As soon as we heard we raced back, I saw you, I couldn't get to you" We reached the Medical Block "But you seemed to handle it."

"Bart got shot and I lost it."

"Your friend?"

"Yeah"

"Come on, get inside," He pushed me into the block, which was teaming with soldiers and nurses, "Hey Nurse, got a gunshot wound here!" Bucky yelled

"Bucky wait, what if they try to take my shirt off?!"

"Damn, okay, um," he paused before turning to me holding my sleeve in one hand and shoulder of my uniform in another and yanked, my sleeve came clean off "There, now they won't need to," He threw to sleeve under the nearest bed.

"Bucky..." I frowned, "I don't have a lot of these..."

"Shh," a nurse raced up to us, "Nurse, gun shot, clean through the right shoulder,"

"Yes, Serg, we'll take care of it, please take a seat"

I did, on a spare chair, the nurse turned away to get supplies. "Bucky, don't leave"

"I'll stay until I'm called on,"

"Okay, so this will hurt," the nursed mused, pouring rubbing alcohol onto a rag and pushing it to the wound, I hissed. "Hold that while I thread the needle." Bucky held it tightly to me.

"It's okay," he muttered,

"It's not, it's horrible"

"Okay, again, this will hurt, but I work quick so, deep breathes and I'll be done in no time."

After checking for any shrapnel in the wound from the bullet - finding none, Bucky was right it went clean through - the nurse sewed it up, I've never found pain like it. Bucky must have noticed as he handed me an open bottle of whiskey and insisted, I take a sip. The nurse stopped him.

"Alcohol thins the blood, and it will make him bleed more, don't."

"Sorry, ma'am,"

"Almost done."

After a long ten minutes of sewing, I was wrapped up and sent out to make space of other injured soldiers.

"Bucky..." I whispered, walking close

"Yeah?" He looked down concerned.

"I'm going to cry; I don't think I can stop it."

"Hey, it's okay, follow me," He quickly led me to a block with a small room at the back, avoiding any soldiers on the way. "Go in"

I did, he followed, he closed the door and the tears fell, like waterfalls. Silent, heavy tears. Bucky sat me down on the bunk and held me close, I cried more.

"Shh, it's okay" He whispered, running a hand over my hair, "Just cry, I'll get you out of here, I'll work something out"

"I'm... not... leaving," I sobbed

"Look at you, yes you are!"

"Bucky, no, stop." I sniffed to try and stop, I couldn't. I gave in and cried in Bucky's arms for what felt like forever, finally I stopped.

"You okay now?" He whispered

"Yes, it's been hard bottling everything up, and the shooting and the being shot. It all hit me"

"Literally." He muttered, "You are leaving, Mary,"

"I'm not." He unwrapped his arms from me and stood

"Stop being so stubborn! It'll get you killed!"

"Then it'll get me killed, because I'm not leaving."

"Why?"

"Because..." I paused, sighing, "I want to fight, I liked it, I'm good at it, I can help"

"You liked it?" He frowned,

"Look, Bucky, I'm staying whether you like it or not." I stood up wiped my tear stained face as best I could and moved to the door,

"Wait." He grabbed my hand to stop me "I don't want us to fall out, I'm not happy but I'm always going to be here for you and I still plan on getting you into my regiment."

"Thanks, Bucky," I stretched and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "I really should go; I want to check on Bart and Cal"

"Okay, wait, let me check the coast is clear" He peaked out the door, the block was empty, "Okay go, I'll see you in a bit"

I walked out into the camp, it was still mayhem, Generals walking quickly in all directions with Sergeants following, Soldier's still walking in dazes, it seems I wasn't the only one shell-shocked. I headed toward the Medical Block, Cal was stood outside pacing.

"Cal!" I yelled, I jogged over "How's Bart? Have you heard anything?"

"Bart? How're you?! Where have you been?! I've been asking for you, people were saying you were shot and I haven't been able to get anything out of the nurses!"

"Yeah, in the shoulder, they fixed me up, I've just been looking for... you and Bart and checking up on everyone, where's Bart?"

"Jesus! They took your sleeve off!" He huffed, "We don't have a lot of them..."

"That's what I said.. Now, where's Bart?!"

"He's fine, he's all bandaged up and resting in his bunk, he got hit in the shoulder too, but it got lodged, it took two nurses to pull out the shrapnel, cried like a baby he did!" He laughed, "But he'll recover"

"Good, I heard his yell, saw the blood and I lost it"

"Yeah, I saw, you're a hell of a shot..." He rested a hand of my shoulder "Let's go see Bart and maybe have a drink..."

"Sounds good,"