DISCLAIMER: I don't own KHR or any of the associated characters aside from my OCs.
Squalo and Lussuria grasped at their bruised rib cages and jaws, nursing their wounds. Squalo turned up a glare at me from his place against the tiles. I stared down at him expressionlessly.
"What the fuck is with you?!" He demanded, agitation in his tone first and foremost, "You're stronger than usual!"
I was in a terrible mood. Stronger or weaker, I have no clue. All I know is I need release from the thoughts swarming my head. I needed to prove these people were weaker than me. I turned my eyes to the wall where Bel and Mammon tensed up and averted their gazes from mine.
Squalo and Lussuria were my last two victims amongst our officers. Before this, I had already beaten down Belphegor, Mammon, and Leviathan. They all had matching bruises to prove my victory. None of them had been an easy win. We know each other better than anyone. I know their weaknesses but they know mine.
I clenched my fists at the thought of having weaknesses. The blood running down into my eyes and from my lower lip proved I had them. One step closer in the last round with Squalo would have left me blind. Amongst the officers, Squalo and I were often written off as a standoff. Our strength was supposed to be equal. It didn't bug me until today.
"One more time." I demanded, attacking him before he could refuse, "I'll kill you if you don't come at me for real."
I heard nothing but the pounding of my heart in my own ears as I beat him down mercilessly. My vision grew more and more red each time he blocked a blow or tore through my defenses to cut me somewhere I couldn't reach.
Squalo abandoned all efforts at trying to get me to talk and came at me seriously. He knew my strength as I knew his. This was a death match.
Frightened by our demeanor, I heard Lussuria scream and run off. Of course, I couldn't really hear the actual words he was screaming over the clanging of Squalo's sword against my armor.
It wasn't until Squalo slipped on a smudge of blood on the tiles that I was able to drop and sweep his feet out from under him with a sweeping low kick. He collapsed to the floor in a heap and I went for the last blow only to be stopped by a bullet shooting by, scraping my face as it went. I came to a screeching stop.
I stared up at the doorway where the boss had a gun leveled on me. His crimson eyes narrowed as I remained unflinching.
"How convenient." I spat the blood dripping into my mouth randomly onto the tiles, "I was about to bite you to death next."
He didn't ask questions. He shot. Lussuria's screeching ignored, we went at it. Other battles aside, nothing made a difference. Xanxus was brutal in his victory. I held down a gurgling scream when, not even two minutes into our fight, a bullet sank deep into my thigh. I hit the floor on my knees, my hands automatically reaching forward to catch my face first fall.
Crouched on the floor with my teeth grinding together, I could see the black of his boots as he approached in just two long strides. I waited for the last shot, unable to look the winner in the eyes. Everything hurt and my only regret… was my loss. I proved nothing but the bitter truth today. My mother was right. Just as she always seemed to be.
The gun came clattering down on the floor in front of me. I stared at it with wide eyes, confusion swirling in my chest and stomach. I felt sick. Turning my eyes up, I glared at him in silent inquiry.
"You'll fight enough for three so if I lose… you'll kill me? Was that it?" He said, gesturing to the gun, "Do it."
I tore off my gauntlet and threw it across the floor. My freed hand reached for the gun. I easily took it up and pointed it dead at his chest, snarling, "You piece of shit."
The arrogant smirk on his face irritated me. I lowered the gun and drove the first shot into his leg. His expression twisted but he gritted his teeth to keep from screaming out. His crimson eyes were nothing but determined. One leg was all that was left to hold him up.
"Kira-chan, no!" Lussuria cried, moving to stop me.
Xanxus put his hand up, a motioning for the officers to halt where they were and not move another step. Looking up at him, I felt myself freeze too. Even my very lungs seemed to pause and cling to the last breath I took.
"You missed, trash." His smirk was back, confidence radiating from every inch of him.
My vision began to grow red. He was the same as me. A loser. We lost that fight as a group. So why can he still stand there like nothing happened? To people like us who are obsessed with being the strongest, there should be nothing more important than correcting our loss.
Jerking the gun to the left, I let off another shot. This time, the grunt escaped his lips. He was no longer standing but even on his knees, he never lowered his head. He glared down at me as if he was daring me to shoot again, lips still curved up in that obnoxious smirk.
I reached across, grasping his tie in my still-armored left hand. I gave him a hard pull, shoving the gun into his chest as I pulled him forward, "Last words, Xanxus?"
"You won't shoot me." He said, never taking his eyes off me and never losing the smirk curving his lips.
"Hah." It just slipped. In this situation, how can he say I won't? He must be an idiot, "You've gone nuts, haven't you?"
"You're my Cloud because you're the strongest woman I've ever seen and because we, the strongest assassins in Italy, chose you as our ally." He said, his tone gaining so much emotion it surprised me and everyone else in the room, "You won't kill me because the Cloud I chose to stand amongst us isn't a quitter or a coward who takes free kills. You'll come kill me on your own one day and I'll be waiting. One day, we'll decide between you and me, Kira. Until then, trash like you should just shut up and follow my orders."
The tears shot to my eyes and I dropped the gun, the metal clattered to the floor in the now silent room. I immediately lowered my head, trying to hide the tears I couldn't hold back. It was all at the tip of my tongue waiting to spill out-my real feelings. The very feelings and thoughts I refused to even let myself think about.
"I'm sorry." I blurted, an herbivorous sob escaping me even as I tried desperately to hold it back, "Our loss… It was all my fault. If I had properly fought Kyoya in the Cloud Battle, I would have… We could have won the whole thing right there! Levi won, Bel won, and Sawada was disqualified. If I had just beaten Kyoya, we-"
Suddenly, everyone was in motion. The boss was the closest and the first to act, leaning across the short distance between us to curl an arm around my neck and pull me into his shoulder, "Shut up."
"I lost too, scum! Don't you dare feel bad!" Squalo snapped, "If it was weighing on you the whole time, you should've said something!"
"That's right!" Lussuria didn't dare take me away from the boss who was holding me but I could feel him rubbing at my back, "And even if you were there, there's no guarantee you would have won against your battle maniac of a brother."
True. Everything is the truth but… I blew the best chance we had for nothing and there's still more.
"... I'm still sorry." I admitted in a small voice, "I… knew about Ottavio before the coup too… I'm the reason we lost everything. Not once but twice."
Now that one was a shock. No one spoke for a long moment until Bel said, "I knew too. I heard you talking. I didn't say anything. I was just like you… I thought he was just being a coward. Who knew he'd really tell the Ninth."
Sighing in defeat, Mammon admitted, "Ottavio tried to pay me into it too. I was actually the first to know and I lost to Rokudo Mukuro. So, you and me are on the same level."
We all paused here and turned to Levi, waiting for him to say something. He only stared blankly back at us and knowing how earnest and strange this guy is… He really, honestly, seriously had nothing to say. He probably didn't know anything about Ottavio and he won his match against Lambo and disqualified Sawada Tsunayoshi.
The boss thought about it all for a second and snorted, "Good work, Levi."
Leviathan was ecstatic. This was probably his second time receiving praise from the boss who is an extremely stingy man when it comes to compliments and such so it's actually something to be excited about. Levi's obsessed with doing everything for the boss because he wants to hear this very praise.
"I don't know if being clueless is considered good." Lussuria mused, shaking his head as our Lightning Guardian ran for the hills in his joy, "But I guess he did win his fight."
"His opponent was a five year old brat!" Squalo spat at us, fuming and immediately settling into, "Then again… They were all a bunch of sniffling middle schoolers."
A heavy layer of shame fell on our shoulders, not a single person didn't hang their head for a moment there.
"That last battle though. That was totally our win." Lussuria stamped his feet in frustration and then sighed, shrugging, "It's all done and over with so let's clean up for the fights to come."
"Voiiii!" Squalo roared, swinging his sword about fiercely, "We won't fuck up a third time. Kira! From now on, our training is always going to be at this intensity. Don't you dare chicken out on me!"
Feelings aside, realization dawned on me. I immediately became aware of the position I was in. The boss' arm was around my neck loosely enough so I could turn every which way but I was definitely still being held. I was so close I could smell him. The blood, the sweat, everything right up to the mix of wine and vodka he had been drinking right before coming here. It was a scent that was distinctly Xanxus.
Flustered, I tried to turn the subject and get out of our positions, "W-Wounds! First aid! I just fucking shot him! Twice."
He grunted, slightly irked, "I shot you first. Remember that."
The officers went scrambling for first aid. Left to nurse our wounds alone, it was just the two of us in the same position. My words did nothing to make him release me. How long was he expecting me to sit here in his one-armed hold?
I chanced a look at his expression, waiting for some sign that he would let go if I backed off. However, when I looked up, we were just so close together I couldn't do anything but stare. I may have remained frozen but Xanxus was still in motion. He came forward and our lips mashed together roughly.
My mental processing speed screeched to a halt and I was left with wide eyes as his tongue delved into my gasping mouth. After a moment, he peeled himself back and stared at me as if I had just been the one to initiate.
After another moment, he threw his head back and laughed wildly, "Fucking virgin. What? Your first kiss or something?"
My face turned red with rage first and then embarrassment second. Memories of drinking with Squalo after his high school graduation flooded back into my head. I was quickly trying to suppress the heart thumping mix of guilt and confusion when Squalo and Lussuria returned with medical help.
He immediately realized something was wrong. Squalo was a sharp guy and my expression was totally unhidden. Our eyes met and my face exploded into a blushing mess. I averted my eyes, caught the boss' gaze, blushed again and turned to the only safe place-Lussuria.
Lussuria was only safe for one moment as he put together the only thing that could have me reduced to a blushing mess the way I was. The silence was broken by Lussuria's howl of laughter. Clutching at his belly, he immediately dropped to the floor laughing to death and squealing about how everything was just so adorable.
"I-It's not funny!" I snapped as Squalo made a gurgling noise of realization. I turned in a panic, shaking my head, "Nothing happened! Stop it!"
It was too late. Squalo-senpai was stone stiff as he stared back and forth between me and the boss, "You shitty boss! You can't do that to Kira?! She's not one of your one night stands! She one of us!"
"One-One night stand?!" I was humiliated.
This was worse than anything that had come before it. Losing to middle school brats, getting my ass verbally handed to me by my mother, breaking down in front of my coworkers, and now this. This was the worst of the worst.
"Well then…" Lussuria cooed, getting their attention before the boss could explode in his normal rage, "So, you're saying your kiss had meaning?"
Squalo went dead quiet, complexion pale as he stared in horror.
The implication was there. If I'm one of us and that means something special to Squalo, our kiss from four or five years ago must've meant something special too. Either that or Squalo's a hypocrite.
Between the three of us who were all there on the night of our mishap, we knew the implication immediately. It dawned on the boss much more slowly. His look of surprise twisted into his default emotion-anger.
"We were drunk! And I'm telling you, she kissed me first!" Our swordsman was just full of it, leaving out that he kissed me just the same the second time around, "It was an accident with no further intentions!"
"Wh-Whatever! The bullets." I urged them to fight another time.
Normally I would be right in there fighting with them but I didn't know what was happening. All I knew is that I didn't want to talk about it right now. Everything was happening too fast.
Our wounds were patched in silence and we returned to our own rooms in solitude. It was a sign from all of us. Tonight was an emotional roller coaster none of us could handle. This was more than enough for now. Discussion would be for another day.
O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O
In the long few days we went without talking to each other, I discovered something while deep in thought. There's no point in getting riled up over kisses with no meaning. If they really didn't mean anything, it was no different than our day to day interactions. We're coworkers. We interact daily. It's not special.
But we were all riled up over those kisses because they held meaning to all of us. Just like our work. We're extremely devoted to our goals and we're here because we all have similar thoughts. We want to be the strongest. We get fired up over it because we're devoted to our work so… if those kisses bothered us it can only mean we hold each other in special regard.
After three long days, Squalo came to me first. We both noticed how we avoided each other. Two people who once spent every waking moment of the day together were now separated. It was inconvenient to say the least. I missed sparring and talking about hits or playing the role of his getaway driver and getting him to do the same for me. It felt wrong to call someone else when I knew Squalo was free.
Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he declared, "I'm going to come clean so you do the same here. I don't have any romantic feelings for you. At the very least, I recognize you as a woman. At the most, I'd fuck you cause I'm aware you're not unattractive to me and you're a convenient fuck. Even in the past, at best I might've had a childish crush on you but nothing more. Get it?"
My heart's reaction was immediate. The first cycle of relief washed over me and I lost the tension in my body. The second emotion was an overwhelming sense of respect for how bluntly he had told me. We're both dishonest with our feelings. It's hard to tell people the truth but… he had come clean. It felt right to tell him the truth.
Squalo and I, even amongst this group, had the utmost respect for one another. We respect absolute strength so the boss is a given but… we had acknowledged each other as rivals and as comrades. We were the closest to each other as friends. This is Squalo and he deserves the truth just as he has given me the truth.
"I don't get complicated things like romance in the first place but everything we have done together is special to me." I told him as he waited patiently for me to finish, "I don't know how else to put it. I don't want things like romance and love to come between us. I want you to remain as you are. The loud, obnoxious jerk I share my daily activities with."
He straight up laughed in my face and declared, "I'm no different. Keep being the crazy bitch half my size who can throw me over her shoulder for nothing."
"Half your size…?" My brow jerked at the insult and I was tempted to fling him aside but I refused to play into his hands the way he had set it up, "Come spar, Squalo-senpai. I'll bite you to death for that one."
Our spar was cut short by Lussuria's obnoxious screeching as he sprinted down the hall coming from the boss' office, "Kira-chan! Emergency!"
I turned, ready for a job but there's no way I could be ready to hear the words I was about to be told.
"We've got word from the CEDEF. They're calling in backup." He said, "The Tenth Generation Vongola Guardians lead by Sawada Tsunayoshi have all gone missing."
My brother was amongst the Tenth Generation… Kyoya. Not. My. Brother.
"Someone will pay." I snarled, "Where do I go?"
"That's the spirit." Lussuria grinned and motioned for me to follow, "Your brother last made contact with Haneuma Dino before he vanished. We're going to the Cavallone estate."
Now… That was a twist. Twist or no twist. I'm…
"Kira. I'll go." Squalo offered, "You and Haneuma…"
"It's fine." I turned, grinning all the same, "When I return, I'll bite you to death for that short comment, Squalo-senpai. Remain as you are and wait for me."
"Be it ten or twenty years, I'll be waiting." He snickered, "Cause that's how long it'll take for you to kill me."
Laughing but slightly irritated as I always am by insults, I marched after Lussuria without looking back. Squalo is ever the same.
Alrighty, my first update in a while. Sorry about the long wait, guys! I've just had a lot going on in my life.
Thanks for reading! :)