AN: Thank you so much for 400 reviews! It means a lot to me. :) And I thank (most of you) for your patience. A lot of you know that this is only my second story and it's going to take a few tries to comfortably write smut the way y'all want it to be. But if you do decide to read it, I am asking you to PLEASE tell me what you think. If it's a guest review and it's really mean I might not approve it, lol. But any feedback means everything to me. I know it's not going to be perfect and it's a long shot that it'll even be decent but I'm trying.

That said, there is M rated content in this chapter.

'Never apologize for how much love you have to give.'

- Karen Isabella

April 11th, 2016

8:45 AM

Palm Springs, California

Olivia's POV

"Livvy...wake up, beautiful..."

I flip so I'm laying facedown on the mountain of pillows and duvets. I'm awake - I have been for a while. I just don't want to get up and face the reality of today. I don't want to go back to Stanford and wait months to see Fitz again. I just don't.

This past week has been almost perfect besides my dreading when I had to go back. I'll spare you the graphic details but I have to tell you that we have been going at it like crazy. We have had sex literally more times than I can count easily. At least twice everyday since that first night. Not even just on the bed - in the shower, in the pool and at one point the other night, he bent me over the kitchen table. It's like we're going for a record or something - it's ridiculous. But it's so good and I cannot imagine going without it - without him - for months on end again.

It's not the just the mind blowing sex though. It's him. I love him and I'm going to miss him so fucking much. We FaceTime, text and call all the time but it's not the same.

"Livvy," Fitz mumbles, pressing his lips to my shoulder blade. "I know you're awake, baby...get up."

I turn to face him and bury my face in his chest. "I don't want to go, Fitz...I don't want to be alone again."

Fitz locks his huge arms around me and rubs my back gently. "Don't talk like that, Livvy. You won't be alone." He takes a deep breath. "You won't ever be alone. We just gotta wait a couple of months, okay? Then we'll see each other again."

I look up at him. "I'm gonna tell you something, Fitz. And it's gonna make me sound like a bitch and most of me doesn't mean it but a part of me does."

"Okay...you're scaring me."

I bring up my hand to the side of his face. "I'm proud of you. I am so freaking proud, it's unbelievable...but a tiny part of me wishes that you stayed in Stanford." I pause. "I'm happy for you, Fitz. I'm happy you're doing your thing and following your dreams. I won't ever stop you from that. But it doesn't change the fact that I miss you so much it hurts."

Fitz looks away from me. "Well, what do you want me to do, Livvy? You want me to come back?" He says this seriously but doesn't sound too enthusiastic about it.

"No," I tell him honestly. "I don't want you to resent me for it. I don't want you to hate me for stepping on your dreams."

Fitz sits up, looking down at me seriously. "First of all, Olivia, I could never hate you. Don't even suggest that. Secondly, yeah, teaching is my dream. But when...when I think about my dreams, you are a part of them too. If I can't have you...is any of it worth it?"

"Yes," I tell him flatly. "I don't want you to give everything up for me."

And I really mean this. I don't know why I brought this up if he would actually suggest enrolling again. I know he hates it there and I would never want him to be anywhere he's unhappy. Even if that would mean being hours on end away from me, with schedules so conflicting we're lucky to get a weekend together.

He leans against the headboard, his eyes rolled up to the sky. "I wouldn't be giving anything up. I could still go to school in Stanford and get my teaching degree."

"But you wouldn't be happy," I argue, rolling my eyes own eyes. He is so freaking stubborn. "I want you to be happy, Fitz."

"You make me happy."

"I am not enough," I shoot back.

He looks like I just slapped him across the face. "Of course you're enough. Do you...do you even know how long it took me to find you? Do you know how happy you make me?"

I look down. "I just want you to have everything you ever wanted."

Fitz pulls me up to him and holds me tightly. "I do. I have you."

I lean against him and close my eyes. "I don't want to fight."

"Me either." He mumbles into the crown of my head. "But I just want you to know that there isn't anything you could do, say or ask that I wouldn't forgive. Not a thing. And you won't lose me, so you don't have to be scared about that."

I trust him. I really do trust Fitz. And I think trust is the most important part of any relationship...but I wouldn't know much about that, now would I? This is the most serious relationship I have ever been in.

And I love it. I love us.

"Now," Fitz throws his head back into the board of the bed. "What can we do that is not a complete waste of the rest of our time together?"

I don't say anything - I don't have to. I just throw the sheets off my legs and sit down on his lap, straddling him.

Fitz locks his muscular arms around my half naked body, pulling me so close to him that I can barely breath. He tucks my hair behind my ear and moves in to kiss me, pushing his tongue past mine. My arms graze up his chest and rest on his shoulder blades. He cups his hands over my waist and pulls me so we're pressed against each other.

"Lay back," I instruct scooting back down his thighs and pushing his chest back.

Fitz complies with a smirk and leans his head against the board of the bed.

I lean forward so I'm laying on him and I push my lips on to his. He reciprocates the kiss roughly and brings his hands from gripping my ass to the middle of my back, unclasping my bra. The second he does, he suddenly changes his mind, locks his arms around my body and completely pushes me back so I land on the mountain of duvets and sheets and he is on top of me.

He pulls off the bra, throws it to the side and and settles on top of me so not all his weight is on me. He trails his hands from the side of my chest to my hips, his eyes locked into mine the whole time. He brings his hand from the top my thigh under it, directly on my ass. He squeezes hard enough to firm his grip but not enough for it to actually hurt.

"Open your legs for me," he instructs, his voice low and even.

I open my thighs so he can settle his body between them and he does.

He moves up his head, pushes a kiss on my lips before trailing his mouth and tongue to graze my neck and under my ear. He lips linger under my ear, breathing heavily. He sucks on my skin, knowing very well that that is my weakness. I toss my head back, wondering how every time with him feels as exhilarating and amazing as the first.

I wrap my arms around his neck but he pins my wrists above my head immediately. With his free hand, he moves his fingers down to my already wet underwear. He doesn't even bother taking them off - he moves his index finger inside then and then subsequently inside me. "F-fitz..."

He ignores me and keeps moving his finger in out before adding another but he keeps his eyes on mine. His thumb points up and presses down on my clit.

I press my lips together tightly to hold back a moan but it slips out anyways. "Fitz...oh my god..."

"You're so fucking tight," Fitz mumbles, his eyes moving from mine to down to what he is doing with his hand.

I bite my lip and find a way to move my hand from under Fitz's. I grip one of his shoulder. "Don't stop."

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't stop either. He goes faster and somehow manages to add one more finger before finally pulling them out. "You good?"

I can't even manage to form words, let alone answer. I just nod looking him in the eye. He smirks and takes the chance to pull down my underwear, moving his hand over my slit. "Are you sure?"

I smile. No matter how many times we have sex, no matter how rough he is, he always takes the time to ask me that. I know it's going to get annoying real quick but for now it's just really sweet. "Yeah, I'm sure."

That said I move my hands down to take off his boxers but he forces them back up above my head. He pulls them off himself and leans back on top of me carefully. Even through his boxers I could feel how hard he was, which is incredible. I wrap my legs around his waist and rest my arms on top of his. He leans his face to mine and smiles. "Hi."

I giggle. "Hi."

Fitz bends down to kiss me very softly, no tongue involved, then rests his face against the side of mine, his mouth parted on my cheek. I squeeze his arms, my fingertips pressing into his biceps. I close my eyes and feel him enter the tip of his length in me very slowly.

I lock my arms around his neck and let my hands get tangled up in his hair.

Before I know it, he's moving in and out of me really fast, like he always does. He starts out slow and paced, and then completely shifts into this version. I gasp into his shoulder blade just as he grunts against my cheek. "Fitz...FITZ..."

"Liv," he presses a strained kiss against my cheek, still moving in and out of me. He moves his lips to my ear and lets out a soft groan.

I move my head away and try to shift away out of pure pleasure but he wraps his arms around me.

"Don't stop," I breath, my eyes closing halfway. "Don't...please don't stop."

Fitz kisses my cheek again, followed by one of his sexy grunts. "I'm not stopping, baby..."

He moves his hand down and rests it on my hip bone firmly as he keeps on going. I flutter my eyes back open and my mouth parts, unable to hold back a loud moan. I press down on his forearm with my fingertips roughly until he gives me what I want - my hand in his. He holds my hand tightly as he has his way with me and I swear I'm already feeling my walls closing with him inside me.

My thigh muscles are tightening against his waist and my hips are already bucking.

"Olivia..." Fitz inhales sharply against my jaw. "Liv...fuck, Liv, I'm gonna come."

That was pretty quick, even for us. But I'm also already there and before I can even gather the oxygen to reply to him, my back arches and I instinctively gasp. My body practically shakes under him from the orgasm but he holds me tightly all the way.

We're both panting by the time he flips over on his back next to me, his arm draped tiredly over my waist. "Oh. My. God."

I take a moment to regulate my breathing. I literally feel like I had a heart attack but not exactly in a bad way.

Fitz looks at me and pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. "Are you okay?"

I swallow, trying to get myself back together. When I open my mouth to answer him, a giggle comes out inside.

"Was I really that bad?" Fitz asks jokingly, propping himself on his elbows, grinning.

"No," I cannot stop laughing at this point, which really isn't helping my breathing. "It's just...how can we last like five seconds every time and it's still this good? That just...doesn't make any sense."

Fitz chuckles too before leaning in to kiss my cheek again. "I don't know. But you're right." He winks and grins. "It's still good."

I come up behind Liv and hug her tightly, holding her close to me."Stop packing for a second, Livvy. Let's go, get some breakfast and worry about this later. We don't have to get in the car for another five hours or so..."

"Actually," she moves so she is facing me, still in my arms. "I called myself a cab...it should be here in about half an hour."

"What?" I look down at her. "Why would you do that? I can drive you - I'm going back to LA anyway..."

"Your school doesn't start back up for another two days," Liv rests her hands on my chest. "You should spend it here and relax."

I inhale so sharp that it almost hurts. "I don't want to be here if I'm not with you."

She leans her face against my chest and I hold her tightly. I didn't mean to make her feel bad. But I'm more upset than I ever thought I could be. I waited twenty two years for Liv to show up and now that she did, I can barely see her. It's not fair. But it's also not her fault.

"Livvy," I rub her back with my palm gently.

"I don't want to say goodbye," she admits in the form of a mumble against my body. I swear I hear her sniff and I don't want to see her cry. Even though a part of me wants to cry myself. "If I...if you drove me, it would just be harder. I would burst into tears, I know that. Hell, I'm trying not to do it now. I don't want to make this any more difficult than it already is."

I move my hand to cup the side of her face and force her to look up at me. "It's okay. It's alright. But stop talking like it's goodbye forever when it's really not. This is not the end. And it won't be like this always."

I really mean that and I just hope she understands.

"I know that," she mumbles. She breaks into a small, sad smile and chuckles softly. "This week has been..."

"Perfect?" I offer, smiling myself.

"Perfect," she repeats, the word setting in stone with her voice. She stands up on her toes to kiss me and our lips our less than an inch away from each other when we hear a honk come from outside.

Liv grimaces and pulls away. "I guess the taxi is early..." She begins to quickly pack up the remainder of her clothes.

I watch her as she does. Liv is one of those people that you can read automatically. When is she happy, her smile and eyes can light up the whole world. But when she is upset, she can cut a bitch with one look. Right now, she is the latter. After our ridiculously good morning sex and a second round in the shower, she didn't even bother to put on any makeup or anything. She is literally wearing sweatpants and a black tank top. She looks so sad that it breaks my heart. But we have to go our separate ways for now and there is nothing we can do about it.

"Don't let this ruin the time we had," I tell her, because that is what I'm trying to do.

"I won't," she mumbles, her voice bitter. I know that she is not mad at me, she is just mad at the situation. I'm not going to lie, I am pretty pissed off too. If it were up to me, we would have all the time in the world together.

Liv turns around after tossing the last thing in her suitcase angrily. She takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm just gonna miss you."

I come up to her and give her the biggest hug I can muster with the rest of my energy. She hugs back even tighter. "Olivia, I'm going to FaceTime you, call you, text you and come by on some weekends. I love you. That is not going to change. I'm not going to change." I pause. "I hope you don't either.

"I won't," she promises, but I don't know how much of that is true.

I can't protect her from the world, especially if she doesn't want to protect herself. There will always be men in the world, men younger and more available to me. If she gets bored, if she lets lonely, I can't stop her from moving on. I believe she loves me but I also know that she is terrified of commitment. And that scares the hell out of me. She is obviously a beautiful girl and if she wanted, she could have every guy in that university at the palm of her hand. I just hope she doesn't want that. That is all I can do - hope. And trust her.

The taxi outside honks once more, breaking my train out thought. I clear my throat. "You need help with your bag?"

"No," Liv looks away. "I got it. And you should stay here - not come outside."

I chuckle. "Olivia, I'm a tough guy. I can handle our saying goodbye."

"Maybe," Liv latches her duffel bag on her shoulder. "But I can't."

Before she leaves the room, she leans toward and kisses me one last time. "Thank you...for everything. I love you."

I just nod. "Call me when you get back to campus, Livvy. I love you."

She doesn't say anything in turn - she just simply walks out with one last longing look. I watch her closely as she goes down the stairs, until I hear the door close behind her.

Olivia Pope is everything to me. I would never cheat on her - I would never even think about it. She is enough for me.. I just hope I am enough for her.