"You will never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you."

June 18th, 2016

10:45 AM

Sicily, Italy

Olivia's POV

When I wake up, my eyes immediately go to the old fashioned clock on the mantel by the window side. It's almost eleven...pretty late but then again, I have no where to be except right here, and that makes me smile.

We arrived yesterday at Latania Airport and because we spent the entire plane ride watching movies together and talking amongst ourselves, bothering the sleeping passengers, we were so exhausted when we landed. But that didn't stop us from having sex as soon as we swung open the door to Fitz's vacation house - which, I might add, was bare since his family had put the furniture in storage. We made a makeshift bed with several a blankets and just passed out late last night, causing us to oversleep. An unconventional start to a vacation, I guess, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I look back at Fitz, who is still shirtless and resting next to me. I always manage to fall asleep before and wake up after him, so it occurs to me this is the only time I have ever seen him asleep.

How Fitz manages to look amazing while asleep is beyond me. All I know is that he just does. He is facing me but his hair is toppled in messy, sexy light waves all over the pillow and his mouth is parted just slightly. The sunlight is coming through the uncovered windows and putting his abs on display. His arm is holding my waist tightly, even though he's asleep soundly.

He looks so peaceful and I don't really want to wake him. But I also want my best friend to talk to. I lean toward and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Fitz?"

I graze my fingers over the side of his face. Somehow, I ended up in his sweater last night. I think he wrapped it around me because he didn't want me to be cold, which would also explain me being hidden under two blankets when I woke up.

"Fitz," I repeat gently, accompanied with yet another kiss. "Wake up. Wake up...I want my best friend back..."

This time, his body stirs under me and his blue eyes flutter open. "Where are we?"

I giggle. "Italy, baby."

"We're in Italy?" Fitz yawns and rubs his eyes sleepily. "How did that happen?"

Instead of answering, I kiss him again. "I have to ask you something."

Fitz pulls me closer to him."Anything."

"What were you dreaming about?" I ask him. He laughs but I shake my head. "I'm serious. You sleep like a baby. What were you dreaming about?"

"You."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "You're so lame."

Fitz pulls me even closer, as if I am practically on top of him. "I'm serious, Olivia. Most, if not all, my dreams consist of you." He pauses. "Us."

I roll my eyes at him, but I wonder if he's telling the truth. If he is, that's the sweetest thing ever. Even if he isn't, it's still cute that he would say that. I lower my voice. "Thank you for bringing me here, Fitz. Even though this place doesn't have any furniture and barely any electricity or running water right now...thank you."

"Thank you for coming."

"There is nothing frozen," Fitz shoves his hands in his jeans pockets as we stroll down the outdoor farmers market. He plucks an olive out of the small bag we put in our basket and stuffs it in his mouth. "Nothing we can just toss in the oven."

I smack his hand away from the basket. "Quit it, we have to pay for those. And yeah, there is nothing we can pop in the oven - for good reason too. Do you live off Ramen Noodles at USC?"

"No," Fitz protests, then crosses his arms. "I live off PopTarts as well."

I roll my eyes and lead him towards where the farmers are selling fruit. "Okay, this summer I'm going to teach you how to cook. That's going to be our goal."

Fitz groans but I shake my head firmly. "I'm not joking, Fitz. I'm not going to let my boyfriend starve at college because he cannot make anything that has any source of nutrition in it."

Fitz loops his arm around my lower waist. "Your boyfriend? This morning I was your best friend...and now I'm your boyfriend..."

I take two plastic bags of grapes into our basket. "You're both. Now shut up and go find some edible food to put in here. Something we can make a meal out of. Because I am seriously not that domesticated. I can cook, but...down the line, I am not going to be that wife just standing there cooking for her husband."

Fitz moves my hair to the side and kisses the back of my neck. "Husband? From best friend, to boyfriend, to husband. I like where this is going."

I roll my eyes again, but I'm smiling. "Be quiet."

"No, wait," Fitz grabs another olive and eats it. "Let's talk about this. When we are getting married, which we obviously are, are you staying home? I don't expect you to, but when we have babies, which we also obviously will, who will stay with them?"

"What babies?" I laugh, strolling through more aisles. I toss in a couple of bread dough in our cart.

"What are you talking about?" Fitz moves his mouth away from my skin. "You don't want babies?"

I turn around to face him. "Do you honestly think I would make a good mother?"

"Yes," Fitz says with such certainty that I actually think he's crazy.

I look away from him. "Fitz...you'd be a great father. But I would be the worst mother in the world." I swallow suddenly not in the best mood. I don't know why, but I feel like crying right here right now. "If you...if you really want children in your future...maybe you shouldn't have brought me here. Maybe we shouldn't -"

"Olivia," Fitz suddenly grabs my hand. "Calm down, baby. Okay? You don't need to cry."

"I'm n-not," I begin before I realize my eyes are wet. "I'm just sure of this...so sure. I don't want kids...I don't. I never will. Ever."

Fitz hesitates. I guess he's surprised how firm i am being. And I can tell he isn't happy about it. But he just holds me. "Okay, okay...it's alright, Livvy. We can talk about this later."

I nod, but I don't want to talk about this later. I don't want to ever have to talk about this again.

Fitz's POV

I approach Liv as she stirs something in a pot, wrapping my arm around her. "Hey..."

She doesn't reply but she puts her free hand on my forearm.

"So," I lean down slightly and rest my chin on her shoulder. "Are you...okay?"

"Yes," she rubs my arm, her voice quiet. "I'm sorry I went kind of mentally unstable on you today at the market."

I shake my head even though can't see me. "It's okay. I just... have to say my piece, okay? I need you to hear me."

She just nods, still not facing me but if that's what she needs in order to listen, I'm fine.

I take a deep breath. I prepared this speech in the empty bedroom a few minutes ago, staring at our makeshift bed. I mean every word of it, but it's just so damn difficult to say out loud.

"Livvy, I love you," I begin, hoping my voice is solid. "Nothing will ever change that. I don't regret any part of our relationship, except maybe letting you go so easily back in November. I definitely don't regret bringing you here."

I pause. "There is nothing I love more than you and there is nothing I want more than to make you happy. Because when you're happy, I'm happy. Honestly, you bring out the best in me. And you're right about before. I tease you about it but I feel the same way - you are truly my best friend."

Liv stops stirring the pot. "You're mine too."

"I know and I'm honored," I smile tightly, then sigh. "I know it's early, Livvy, I know that. It's too early to talk about marriage, let alone babies. But that's important to me. I'm not going to lie. It really is."

I stop talking for a second and realize just how desperate my tone has gotten. "I'm going to be a fucking teacher, Liv. Of course I am going to want kids."

"And I won't," she cuts in shortly. "I'm sorry, Fitz. And you're right - this conversation is premature."

I'm realizing now that as much as Livvy doesn't want kids, I do. I do a lot. "Livvy, listen. I understand how you feel, I do."

"You don't."

I sigh. "I'm talking five, maybe ten years down the line." She doesn't say anything. "Olivia, please trust me when I say you'll be a great mother. I know you will. I wouldn't even bring this up if I didn't think you would be. You've made mistakes, we all have, but you've grown. And you most definitely will grow a few more years down the line."

"Fitz," Liv puts down the wooden spoon and turns to face me. She laces her arm around my neck and looks up directly at me, with a no bullshit expression. "If I never give you any children, will you still love me?"

"Yes," I tell her firmly, because that is the god honest truth. "Of course. I want kids, Liv, but I need you."

Liv strokes the side of my face lovingly. "I'm glad to hear that, baby, because kids are not happening."

I feel my heart drop. "I'm just asking that we keep this an open dialect. Okay?"

"Fine," Liv agrees, but I don't know if she means it.

Just to put things on a lighter note, I ask, "Do you want to go up to Rome for a couple of days? We can come back here and spend the rest of the month."

"Sounds good, baby," Liv lifts up the spoon to my mouth. "Taste."

I do. It's some type of tomato soup and it's really good. I didn't think Liv was the cooking type but apparently she is. "It's really amazing, love."

"Maybe that's just because you've been living off high fructose corn syrup for the past six months," Liv suggests, adding basil in the pot.

I laugh and look at her while she does her thing.

I really do love her and I mean everything I said. I think she'd make an amazing mother. Hell, I know she would.

I know Liv doesn't feel the same way and I think I know why. She has made some bad choices but I really believe those don't define her. And I believe she could pull herself together to raise a baby. Our baby.

If she refuses, I can't stop her. I can't poke holes in our condoms. I can't hide her birth control or replace it with Advil or something. I mean, I could but I won't. If I purposely made her pregnant in the future, she would just resent me for it. And i don't want that either.

I know it's way too early to be worrying about this but I am anyway. I really want kids - I always have. More importantly, I want them with Liv. I love her so much, she loves me and we could give a little boy or girl so much of that love. We could be happier than we ever thought possible. I am already extremely happy and Liv is enough, she is more than enough. But whenever I think about my future with her, I think about kids and I can't stop that. I want them. I don't need them, but I really truly want them and I wish she felt the same way.

"I'm sorry," Liv says, as if she's reading my mind. "If it means anything, I love you."

That does mean a lot to me. I don't see women as a baby making machine. I know some guys do, but I don't. I love Livvy - way too much for my own good actually. And that type of love we share is unconditional. She could kill a man right in front of my eyes and I would help her dispose of the body, forgive her and hug her. I wish I could say I was joking. I love her so much.

I know she feels the same way. And I know she seems genuinely apologetic. I don't want her to feel bad. Honestly, I just want her to want kids. That's it. A couple of years down the line, I want a perfect little family with her. I can wait, you know. I can be patient. But all I need is the promise that it's gonna be there for me, when we're both done with school and the time is right. I may not get that promise right now but hopefully, in time, Livvy will realize she wants that perfect little family too someday.

I smile - genuinely this time. "I love you too, Livvy. No matter what."

I mean this. I love her so much it's ridiculous. I lean in to kiss her and once I do, everything else leaves my mind.

At least for now.

AN: Hey guys, I just came back from my first day and I am really busy so I quickly wrote this short but pivotal chapter down...but did y'all see that Scandal promo? ohmygod