DISCLAIMER: I don't own KHR or any of the associated characters aside from my OCs.
We spent only a single night in Catanzaro. As soon as the sun came up, we were bathed and ready to move out. Calabria was a big region and the solidified plan was to head down to Africo and then roam the rest of the region. We took off with sightseeing plans but we took off on foot.
This was a heavily mafia infested place. Aquilos would definitely be recognized in broad daylight. We hid away our weapons, not openly carrying anything but our sack of clothes and rations. Each night, we stayed in a different "motel." Apparently, the slang for it is "Versatile?"
It's basically a fancy name for a whore house. People who come alone can choose a person provided by the establishment if they know what they want and how much it's going to cost them.
Either way, we had no use for other people. Each night, we embraced each other. During the day, we gambled and stole money. We were weighed down by the thoughts and promises we had made with the Varia. Thoughts of revenge made our footsteps hard and heavy but at night, everything was easy. When we're fucking, all we think about is feeling good and finding release. If only the world was as simple as our activities in the night.
Before we knew it, a month and a half had gone by and we were crossing the Ionian Sea by boat to enter Albania. I had put the fear of being caught behind me and my childhood dream of seeing the world was taking massive steps towards completion. Thinking back, we had been in Italy, fled to Austria, Germany, Denmark, and now we were in Albania. Europe would easily be conquered in six months.
Xanxus was extremely accommodating which might've been strange to think about before we began running from the Vongola Alliance but it was a normal thought in recent times. He was much kinder than I had thought. It made me wonder if it was the mafia that shaped us into the cruel killing machines we used to be. But every once in a while, I would be reminded that Xanxus and I were naturally people who love the dirty, cruel ways of our mafia world and we were only being kind and accommodating to each other.
In this long month and a half, I witnessed countless moments where Xanxus put a bullet through a man in a fit of rage. It was cruel to kill a man for simply being in our path but he was in that kind of mood sometimes and rather than cruel, I saw it as a gesture of romance when he did it to someone who bumped into me. Although, it forced us to run from our location earlier than planned sometimes, I loved it.
As for me, there was a time or two when a woman approached him in the night as we decided on a place to settle until the morning. They'd most likely wanted to sell themselves to him, pressing their ample chests against him in a seductive manner.
The first few times it happened, I let it be. He seemed to enjoy it, smirking down at the view of a full rack pressed up against his chest but he never accepted. I mean, once we found lodging he would be continuing those activities with me so it shouldn't matter but it still bothered me.
One day, I snapped. I grabbed the woman by the wrist and flipped her over my shoulder onto the asphalt below and I mercilessly broke her arm behind her back before biting her to death in just one cannibalistic bite. That night, we used Aquilos to get away. We didn't talk about it. I mean, what could we talk about? Neither of us had pinned exclusivity on the other and we were probably too embarrassed to think about it.
There had been no verbal promises but we only slept with each other. It's not like I had anyone else to consider and as for him, I don't know. I wanted to hope he was at least entertained by the way our light sparring turned into sex or maybe he was amused by my improvements in bedroom skills. Then again, I don't think I improved so much as I was exclusively figuring out what kind of tricks he liked and disliked.
Another month went by and we had crossed through Bosnia into Croatia and eventually Hungary. Knowing Iemitsu, he probably thought we went up towards Russia by now but it wasn't the case. In these next few months, we planned to go through Hungary into Austria and Switzerland and then to France. Hopefully, the rest of the Varia elite planned to be in France around the same time.
I had faith in them. I knew if we went to France, they would be there sooner or later as promised. There's no way they were captured already. I missed them.
I still worried about what Kyoya would think of me when he found out I was on the run. I wondered if they even knew about what had happened but I was always with the boss and he gave me very little time to ponder it. He was always demanding more from me, pushing me to keep busy. It's almost as if he knew I was prone to thinking dark thoughts when left alone.
Spending so much time with him, I realized he was the same. He was strong and prideful but it didn't mean he was lacking insecurities. When his thoughts wandered, I noticed he would often just stare out the window into the night. He probably thought I was asleep but sometimes, he would sit up in the bed and murmur something to himself in Italian.
"Quanto è forte abbastanza forte?"
How strong is strong enough?
Good question. I always wanted to ask him how strong he wanted us to be. How strong is the strongest in Xanxus' world? We were steadily improving but at the same time, so was the rest of the world. We spent all our days running and hiding away. Even if we return to the place we used to call home, would we be able to compete with people who lived every day doused in mafia violence? But did we have to compete? Watching him smoke and mutter to himself, I thought if he gave up all his strength and we could be like this forever, I would be okay with that. But that's not Xanxus.
If we lived like this for the rest of our days, we'd surely be bored with ourselves. We were growing restless. We hungered for the violence and darkness we called home. The comfort of being together and living quietly didn't sit well with us. I knew it and he knew it. That's why we always sought each other at the end of the day. That's the reason we always fuck. It's not a gentle, intimate act. It's an outlet for our sadistic brutality.
Maybe one day, we'd share sexual favors as an act of intimacy but not until we returned to power. Neither of us wanted to be weak. That's why I never answered his question even if I heard it over and over for many nights. I felt like answering his question would be evidence of our lack of strength. Only those who are unsatisfied with their strength ask questions about how much they must have.
"Quanto è forte abbastanza forte?"
How strong is strong enough?
Xanxus was incredibly intelligent and quick-witted in many different ways. He knew I was awake and listening. There's no way he hadn't caught on by now but he never demanded an answer nor did he ever directly tell me he knew I was listening. It was a sign he felt the same way as I did about the subject.
We often felt the same about strength. Power makes the world go round for us. Not money. If you have power, you can steal money. If you have power, people submit to you whether it's out of fear or respect doesn't matter. Strength puts the wielder at the top of the chain of command but what if you no longer possess a chain to command?
Squalo, Lussuria, Levi, Mammon, Bel and I waited for the boss' return for eight years. But when we waited, we were all together. Now, this is uncertainty. We felt like we could do anything when we were all together but separated, every single day was full of uncertainty and thoughts of regret. At least it was for me.
I do wonder sometimes what the boss is thinking. Does he worry about them like I do? Or does he only have space in his head to think about taking revenge?
The closer we got to ending our six month period of hiding like herbivores, the harder it became to read him. He was… unpredictable. One night he would be boiling with anger for no reason apparent to me. His hands would be burning as they seared prints onto my body. The next day, he'd be normal. He naturally has a high body temperature but I noticed he would be twice as hot when he was angry.
To be honest, it was terrifying to imagine a day in the future where I couldn't read his emotions either. His thoughts were always mostly a mystery but the emotions were usually obvious-especially the negative ones. Which brings me to say, boss spends a lot of time in silence. I mean, so do I and I enjoy it but I don't think the boss is quiet by choice. I think he doesn't talk much because he doesn't know how to express himself.
Kind of like Kyoya, he expresses emotions through violence and anger. If he's embarrassed, he'll throw punches. If he's happy, he'll still throw punches and get mad. I don't hate that about him. Actually, I think we're somewhat similar in that part of our personalities.
The more time we spend together, the more I realize how similar we are in basic traits. I'm pretty sure people who look at us would describe us with similar words.
Violent. Rude. Hot-tempered. Selfish. Abusive.
Not that it matters because, when the rest of the world only knows what Xanxus shows them, I got to see everything. He was not the one-dimensional man people thought him to be. He had many different sides and despite popular belief, he was quite capable of holding conversations albeit short and one-sided at times. In the time we shared, just the two of us, I witnessed his mafia side and his private side.
Our time together was coming to an end but, in my heart, I appreciated every moment of it. I didn't want it to last any longer. I was the most eager to see the rest of our coworkers again. Our journey to France was full of long, long silences but we didn't need to speak to know our shared thoughts. We came to understand each other without words in recent times-a skill I never thought I'd have.
We touched down at Flan's small impoverished village in the middle of the night. I remembered the promise we had made to meet at the waterfall nearby. The waterfall was a climb and I could see why they reported Flan played here alone. It was a cliffside climb just to reach the top and the top of the waterfall was flanked by thick forests.
We both knew no one was here. Although, boss felt the need to verbalize it in case my skills had dulled in the six months we spent on the run, "No one's here."
I nodded, "I'd never mistake their presences so… I'll be the first to know when they arrive."
"Unless they died here." It was a cruel joke but it was definitely within his sense of humor.
I shook my head at him, gesturing to the trees, "Let's make camp or something. They'll come."
Camping out didn't suit someone like the boss but he didn't complain. That night, we went without physical comfort. For some reason, he only held me. It was actually the most innocent thing we might've done since the first night we did it. I reminded myself it didn't mean anything to him. We had no blankets so this is what he did to keep warm.
Soon, we'd return to power and Xanxus and I would stop this joke. It was good while it lasted but if it means we can go back to the way things were before, I'd gladly give him up.
O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O
I woke, jerking into a sitting position as a hostile presence stalked toward us in the night. It only took me one moment to recognize him. I was immediately on my feet and running towards the approaching duo. Xanxus sat up much more casually, not bothering to come after me or even get up from the ground but I knew he was keeping me in view.
"Senpai!" I went crashing into Squalo's chest and his arms came around me in a bruising embrace. I only stayed in his hold for a moment before twisting around to give Lussuria the same treatment.
"Oh my god!" Our Sun Guardian sobbed dramatically, "It's been so long, Kira-chan! We're sorry we're late!"
"We're not late! They're just early!" Squalo spat. He hadn't changed a bit. He pulled me into a patch of moonlight leaking through a gap in the thicket of trees above us, "Are you taller?"
"Fuck you." I scoffed as an instant response to the insult but I was busily scanning his body for injuries. I noted the worst thing on his person was those dirty clothes but my clothes were in a similar state, "We're just waiting on Mammon's group now."
"Figures they'd be late." He yanked Lussuria away from me, "You stupid okama! Get emotional somewhere else!"
Boss was now on his feet, towering over us with a dark glare meant for Squalo. It was something they would always share-total trust. Squalo was the right-hand of the Varia's boss for a reason.
"Feh." Xanxus snorted, "So you're alive."
"Shitty boss, did you make her steal you alcohol every hour?"
He only snorted again in response.
With them sharing insults as greeting banter, Lussuria was on me again, "Oh, Kira-chan, it was so horrible. I had to work at a stripper bar every other week."
The image of Lussuria at a stripper bar was unpleasant. I closed my eyes and shook my head in disgust, pushing him away.
"So cold!" He complained, immediately attaching himself to me again, "Although I got pretty good at pole dancing so I'm not sure if I'm complaining or not."
Another ugly image. I turned, watching Xanxus converse with Squalo in the most brusque way. It looked so normal. This felt extremely right. When we made eye contact, I smiled the smallest bit. The boss only closed his eyes for a moment and turned away, pretending he hadn't seen me staring.
"Hmm..?" Lussuria bent into my personal space, giving me a doubtful look, "What was that?"
I blinked at him dumbly, "What was what?"
"That!" He was starting to get excited, "That adorable look you gave the boss! What's going on here? Are you holding out on me? Something happened, didn't it? Tell me!"
Turning bright red, I gave him a rough shove in the opposite direction, "I have no idea what you're talking about! Piss off, herbivore!"
"So mean!" He shrieked, immediately relatching himself to me, "Come on! Don't keep secrets from me! I wanted to share gossip with you for six whole months, dear!"
"That's right." Squalo was now cutting in, "We got news of Vongola Guardians sighted in Southern Italy a few weeks ago."
The mood was suddenly serious as I asked, "How many?"
"Not sure. They said Visconti was leading a small group." He could easily name the current Cloud Guardian, "Funny thing. They said the Tenth Generation is in Italy."
"They're hunting us too?" I turned as Lussuria straightened up, leaving his place hooked on my arm to stand by Squalo, "All of them?"
"Our source told us Sawada Tsunayoshi was spotted at the Cavallone estate with Gokudera Hayato and Yamamoto Takeshi flanking him." Lussuria told me and the boss, making eye contact with each of us for a brief moment, "Your brother was set on a rampage destroying at least two territories belonging to minor families."
"Set on?" I realized what he was implying, "You're saying those guys were given orders to come to Italy and hunt minor families? What about us?"
They hesitated before Squalo said, "That's the thing. Recently, no one has been pursuing us. It's like they were drawn away."
It was my turn to exchange glances with the boss. We were definitely pursued the whole time so who drew them away from Squalo?
"That's impossible. Maybe they just lost your trail." I knew I was wrong judging by the looks on their faces.
"Kira, we baited them right to us and no one followed." He made a risky move and no one captured him so…, "We were even able to make contact with old Varia informants. It's almost like… they're calling us back."
My whole world was turned upside down. Calling us back? For what? They want us to surrender? No. They want us to return like nothing happened. They knew we were innocent. The revelation was trying to take away the revenge we dreamed of all this time. The Vongola Family was simply saying "sorry about trying to kill you so come back and work for us again." Bullshit.
Squalo and Lussuria were startled as the boss' anger surged to life. I had seen it on and off for six months so I wasn't bothered but it looked to me like Squalo and Lussuria fell for Xanxus' charms all over again.
We went through hell for six months. There's no way we would just return to the Vongola and pretend it didn't happen. We wanted justice.
My anger was only stilled for a moment as three more allies came into range. My lips curved upward as I reached for the boss, resting my hand against his shoulder. I turned and we made eye contact when he turned towards me at the first feeling of my touch, "They're here, boss."
He took a moment to note I was right, "Get ready, Kira. We're flying back to headquarters tonight."
"Yes, boss." I turned as the last trio stepped into the clearing under the sprinkling of moonlight from the trees above, "You're late."
"Ushishishishi. I had to pee." Belphegor wore a black beanie pushed down all the way over his eyes in place of the hair he was hiding. His casual clothes were dirty but definitely the cleanest out of everyone here, "And we didn't want to show up before you guys. I hate waiting for peasants."
Levi was immediately ranting and raving about how he thought about the boss daily and how he missed serving Xanxus' daily doses of alcohol and steak. In the presence of all his chosen Guardians, Xanxus looked most at peace. We shared another subtle smile that wasn't as subtle as we tried to make it.
"Hmm…" Mammon hummed, a hand on my shoulder, "What's this, Kira? While I was running for my life, you and the boss were on a lover's vacation? That's unfair and I demand monetary compensation."
"Ushishishi." Bel put a hand on my opposite shoulder and grinned, "When we're done cutting up the Ninth, I'm cutting you up next."
I didn't have to say anything back.
The boss was already standing at our center giving orders, "Squalo, Kira, Lussuria, Levi, Bel, Mammon."
We held our breaths, waiting for him to continue.
"We're returning to headquarters immediately. Prepare yourselves for a bloodbath."
Looking around, all my coworkers were grinning eagerly as we chorused into the night, "Yes, boss!"
Hello everyone! This was a safe chapter compared to the previous two so I hope the nasty business didn't shoo away too many readers. I will continue to put warnings before my nastier chapters but it's possible that I might forget so please forgive me in advance.