Fitz

"I wish you'd tell me what's wrong," I try again.

Olivia is sitting besides me and acting like she's totally entertained by the episode of House Of Cards that we're watching. She's a terrible actress.

"You're sad," I say quietly. "But not the type of sad you were before. Not Baltimore sad." I reach across and push a lock of curly hair out of her face. "That time, you couldn't keep your hands off me. Now you won't let me touch you."

Livvy looks up, a sad smile on her face. "It's not that, Fitz. I just don't feel good." That said, she lies in my lap and looks up at my face. Her hand rests on her stomach, and her ring shines modestly in the dark.

"Are you not happy with…"

I can't even finish my sentence. If Olivia isn't content with us being engaged, i'm going to be so heartbroken. I have been giddy with this schoolboy type of excitement all day and if she's having doubts…how can I even process that?

"Fitz," Livvy raises her ring wearing hand to cup my face. She strokes her thumb on my cheek. "It's not the ring and it's not the engagement. I want to marry you. You know how much I want to marry you."

"Actually, I don't" I say, looking down at her seriously. "I know how much you love me but, Livvy, I don't know how much you want to marry me."

Livvy sits up just far enough to give me a small kiss. "I do. Okay? I do want to marry you. I just don't feel too well. I feel nauseous." She settled back down and lies in the fetal position, still on my lap. She looks away from me.

I believe that she wants to marry me but why she's sad is still beyond me. Usually I can read her quite well but right now… I don't know.

Suddenly, I put my hand on her stomach. "Is it…are you…"

She yanks my hand away. "No."

I feel dumb. "Oh."

She turns back to me. Her expression is very apologetic but even more tired. "I'm sorry, Fitz. It's just…Abby."

I raise my eyebrows. "Abby? What about Abby?"

"She's not," Livvy lowers her gaze. I can tell that whatever is going on is really upsetting her. "She's not completely supportive of the idea of us getting married."

"Oh," I gape. That's all I can say and I feel really pathetic because my girlfriend's about to cry and all I can muster up is 'oh'. I thought we agreed not to tell anybody but I'm not mad at Livvy. "I'm sorry…are you sure? I'm surprised."

Livvy turns away from me again. "I'm sure."

We sit in silence. I feel a teardrop fall from her face and sink into the fabric of my sweatpants. I keep thinking about why Abby wouldn't be in love with the idea of Livvy and I getting married and I'm coming up blank. I know she and Rosen broke up but there must be more to the story.

I don't know what went on between Abby and Livvy. But if it's got her this blown, I should know.

And I'm gonna need to find out.

"Abby,"I turn the key into ignition and balance the phone between my ear and shoulder. "What the hell, man?"

"What?" Abby's voice innocently speaks on the other line. "What are you talking about, Fitz?"

"You acting negatively towards our engagement. You know how insecure Livvy is about mostly, like, everything and you pull this -"

"You're getting married? Congratulations!"

I roll my eyes and pull out of student parking. "Shut up, Abby. I know you know. And you know how much Livvy values your support and your friendship. You know how much she loves you." I sigh. "Why did you tell her this was a bad idea? Why? Do you really believe that or are you jealous?"

"I'm not jealous of anything," Abby snaps. "And honestly, Fitz, this has nothing to do with y'all. You guys are cute. But… I'm looking out for you. As a person."

I press my lips together and run through everyone who said that they were looking out for me - my dad, Livvy's dad, Mellie… I'm sick of it. As far as I know, Livvy is the only one looking out for me at this point. And the way Abby is acting, I'm the only one looking out for her.

"I'm trying to help you," Abby goes on. "Because you really don't know everything about Olivia."

I want to crash my car into a pole. "I'm so sick of this old line, of everyone acting like Livvy is some mysterious girl with skeletons in her closet. Everyone is trying to scare me, trying to make me believe that if she's hiding something, I won't love her. Well guess whatt? Livvy isn't hiding anything and I will always love her."

"How adorable," Abby mocks. "But in reality, if you knew everything about her, you wouldn't love her. It's even hard for me to love her sometimes. We grew up together and I witnessed firsthand her…sex drive."

"What?" I'm actually so caught off guard that I pause for a second. "Are you calling her a…slut? Is that what you told her?"

No answer.

"Is that what you told her?" I repeat, not a question but a demand. "Abby, who the hell are you to go around calling my Livvy a slut? Who are you to go around saying anything bad about her?"

"I grew up with her," Abby says, sounding like a broken record. "And you've been her boyfriend for what? A year?"

"Leave her alone," I say, trying desperately not to scream at her. "You leave her alone, Abby, I mean it. And you're wrong - I'm not her boyfriend. I'm her fiancé."

I hang up.

I walk into CVS with my fists clenched. I'm still so angry that I can barely breath. Of course Livvy was upset. Who gets called a whore by their best friend and is still happy?

I'm just mad. Mad at Abby. If there is one person Olivia loves more than me, it's Abby. And when someone loves you that much, how can you berate them like that? Make them feel that way? Eli pulled the same crap and it just infuriates me.

I walk into the aisle with the Pepto Bismol and everything. I just came here to pick up some medicine for my girl and now I'm evaluating our whole relationship.

I know Olivia never cheated on me. I know that she's not a hoe. I know that she never was. Maybe she made some decisions that felt right at the time. That made her feel better or… Numb. I don't know. I'm not in any position to judge. I have no clue what she was going through. And I'm not so sexist to have that double standard of women and men having sex as much as they want.

I know that some of the choices Livvy made were dangerous, I know that. A lot of things could have went wrong. The way I see it, I have two decisions - I could either give her hell for making dumb decisions or I could move on and thank God she's safe. I chose the latter. I know we have been petty on disagreements before but this is a fight we'll never have. I know Livvy, I know where her loyalty lies and Abby is trash for making her feel like she's a hoe.

People aren't built one way or another. In my heart, I don't believe Livvy will cheat on me, ever. But if she does, it won't be because it was inevitable. I don't know why it'll be. I know she loves me and you don't cheat on someone you love. You just don't.

I lean on the aisle of boxed medications and think about us. Really think. I want to marry Livvy because I can't imagine life without her. Because I love her. But if she really is hiding things from me, things so bad that her best friend brought them up to me… Well I want to know. Not so I can shame Livvy, but so I can understand the decisions and make sure they never happen again. If we go through with this wedding, which I hope we do later this year, I will be her husband and it is my job to protect her. I mean, it always was, but really.

I know it's early in our relationship but I feel like Livvy is my soulmate. I know it's a cliche, I know that but I can't imagine knowing her better than I already do. We have been through so much, so much baggage and discontent and we just weren't sure of anything.

At this point, I think we're ready for whatever life throws our way.

On cue, my phone rings. I pull it of my pocket and see that it's Livvy calling. Her contact photo is one we asked Sarah and John to take in Rome. We were on the little restaurant balcony and my arms were around her waist. She looks so beautiful and the background was incredible. We look so peaceful and excited at the same time, like a high school couple on prom. I remember that moment, knowing I wouldn't have traded my spot for any in the world.

I pick up the phone. "Liv, I got your medicine and I'm about to check it out, okay, babe? How you feeling?"

"Not great," Livvy's voice sounds unlike her normal one.

Suddenly, I'm a little worried. I grab a box of Pepto and start making my way to the checkout counter. "What's wrong? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No." Livvy quickly says. "Listen, I can't believe I'm doing this again. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I'm just so weirded out by this Abby thing."

"Don't worry about the Abby thing. It's handled. And doing what again? What are you talking about?"

"Fitz, what did you say to Abby?"

Oh shit. Even though Abby was being messed up, I don't think Liv would be happy to know I was kind of a dick to her best friend. Ex best friend. I don't know. All I know is that Livvy doesn't love it when I become hyper protective of her.

"Livvy, don't worry about it. It's nothing."

The way she pauses on the phone, I can tell she wants to say something on the situation, but there is a more important matter at hand. "Fitz, listen to me. I'm so sorry to do this to you again but…remember a couple of days ago? We came back from Baltimore. And we kind of did it…on the plane?"

I grin. "How could I forget?"

"I know," Liv agrees but she doesn't sound amused. "Again, I'm sorry to do this to you…while you're at the same CVS and you asked the same question earlier tonight. But…"

She pauses. The words that come out of mouth…they are laced with fear. With anxiety. "I need you to pick me up another pregnancy test."

I open my mouth to speak. To comfort her. But nothing comes out. I just nod, like she can somehow see my dumbass do it and I say, "Alright. See you in a few."

Then like the asshole I feel like, I hang up. I don't know what else to do. The way shooed my hand away today was so sure, so irritated. I never gave the fact that she could be pregnant another thought.

I walk down the aisles, not feeling my feet hit the floor.

Could she really be pregnant? With my baby? We really should have started practicing safe sex. She's not on the pill anymore, I don't wear a condom….we always talked about it, joked about something happening. Not an STD, because we both got tested a while ago. But a baby. Another pregnancy scare. It's like God is laughing at us.

I feel scared. I feel panicky. But I can't imagine how Livvy feels. So with my fingers shaking, I pull out my phone and send her a lighthearted text, trying to make a joke about it:

Hey, if Abby disapproves of the wedding, what do you think she'll say about a baby?

I put my phone back in my pocket and stop in front of the variety of pregnancy tests. I pick out the most expensive, a pink box. I only get one this time.

I balance the Pepto and the test to the checkout aisle and when I set the things down, my phone buzzes. I look at the screen.

Livvy: She'll probably have an aneurysm. Are u on ur way home?

I chuckle at the text and pay for the items. Somehow, in the weirdest of times and ways, Liv always has a way of reminding me everything will be okay. Because we're in this together. That doesn't mean I'm not afraid. I'm fucking terrified. But at least I know we'll survive, either way.

I take the bag and walk out the door. I make sure to reply to her text before I get in the car.

Fitz: Almost.