Fitz's POV

We haven't talked about it.

After I got home, Olivia was fast asleep and I decided not to wake her. I just wrapped a blanket around her, laid beside her and tried to prevent my thoughts going into overdrive.

It didn't work - I barely slept.

The next morning, I gave her the test and made her a light breakfast, just in case it really was just an upset stomach. She thanked me and left. She's picking up a new job at the financial aid office but she doesn't have morning shifts, so something tells me she is avoiding me.

Avoiding this whole thing.

It isn't like last time, not at all. She doesn't talk about it. How am I supposed to do anything? I spent all day at home, trying to studying, trying to wrap my head around child development when all I could wonder is whether or not a child is developing in my girlfriend.

I eventually fell asleep and when I woke in the middle of the night, she was asleep. So it's been silent and deadly up in here.

Now it's the morning and I'm putting some coffee in the Keurig for both of us. She comes out of the bathroom, where she's showered and dressed in a rose gold tank top and light wash jeans with sandals.

We've barely talked, so I decide to be very cautious with my words. "Morning, beautiful."

She takes the coffee from me and smiles. A weight lifts off my shoulders when I see it's genuine. So she doesn't hate me. Hopefully. "Thanks, babe. It's been really hectic at the office, with all these students worried about their fall semester tuition. Summer is almost over, you know."

"It is," I say regretfully. "I loved the time we spent together, Livvy. Every minute of it. I'm gonna remember this summer forever. I know that sounds dumb but -"

"Shut up," Liv beams, a lightness in her eyes. "It doesn't sound dumb. I feel the same way."

We're quiet for a minute, both leaning against the kitchen counter. I replay the summer in my head, from the plane ride to Italy to the plane ride to Baltimore. To the plane ride back. I swallow. And to that night at the pharmacy.

I clear my throat. "Since it's ending, Livvy, we should figure out what we're going to do. Have you taken the test?"

Liv immediately waves the subject off with her hand. "No, I haven't."

I set my coffee down and look at her. "Well, when do you plan on doing it?"

No answer.

I gently take her wrist and turn her towards me. "Olivia, you know you have to take the test. There's no use to putting it off."

She doesn't look at me.

"Whatever happens, love, we'll deal with it together."

Finally, she pulls away. She looks at me and when she does, I don't see agreement. I see resentment.

"I'm in a huge fight with my best friend," she says evenly. "My father wants nothing to do with me. I don't want to be known as the pregnant college sophomore who has a history of sleeping with older guys. Can you give me a fucking minute?"

She doesn't wait for an answer.

She just grabs her bag and leaves.

Olivia's POV

"Thanks for meeting me."

I put my hand out for a handshake but Professor Beene, or Cyrus as I now call him, greets me with a huge hug. "How are you, Olivia?"

I smile and I hand him the coffee I bought him from the Coffee Express. It's too hot for coffee but we both sit outside the coffee shop and drink it anyway. It's my lunch break and I could not think of anyone else to spend it with than Cyrus. He is always the voice of reason and even though I haven't known him for a long time, he has been more to a father to me than my own.

I take out the takeaway bag I got from the store and put two salads and two turkey sandwiches between us. "I've been better, Cyrus."

"What's wrong?" Cyrus sips his coffee and sits down. "Is it Fitz? Is he treating you well?"

"Fitz is great," I smile. I pause and after thinking about it for a second, I pull the ring out of my bag. "He proposed."

I search for disapproval in Cyrus' blue eyes and when I don't find it, I let myself relax. "Do you think it's too soon? Be honest."

Cyrus beams. "I don't think it's too soon, Olivia. It is soon but if you know he's the one, you know he's the one. I knew I wanted to marry James after I spent three months with him. You two kids seem to make each other very happy."

I pause. "So you think it's a good idea?"

"I think it's a great idea," Cyrus tells me. "But you don't look so sure of it yourself."

I sigh and take a bite of salad. "I want to marry him. I know I do. But it's been less than a year since he was engaged to Mellie."

Cyrus rolls his eyes. "Liv, don't compare y'alls engagement to that of his and Mellie's. He never loved her. But he loves you. The only question is, do you love him?"

I grin, because I know the answer to this question. I always have. I know it with all my heart. "Yes. I would be so proud to call him my husband."

"Then that's all that matters," Cyrus concludes confidently. "If your gut says you're ready, then you're ready. Is this what has been bothering you?"

I frown. "Not really. I'm in a fight with Abby. Abby Whelan."

"The red head?" Cyrus looks confused. "I thought you two were best friends."

"We are. We were. I don't know. She doesn't support Fitz and I together. Not anymore."

I don't continue, because I know that I will start to cry if I do. I don't tell him about the things she said, the implications she made. I don't tell him how my heart is shattered. I don't tell him how I thought we would be best friends for the rest of our lives, about how I considered us sisters.

"Maybe she envies you," Cyrus suggests. "What the two of you have."

"Maybe," I agree. I take a deep breath. "But if she really loves me, Cyrus, why would she make me feel like such crap?"

"People do dumb things, Olivia. They always have, since the beginning of time. But the important thing to remember is, what other people think of you is usually outside of your control."

I have my reservations. "Abby knows me very well."

"Then she should know how great you are," Cyrus smiles. "And she should know how much love you have in your heart, for both her and Fitz."

I close my eyes. "So much is happening, Cyrus. So much stress."

"It's normal. You're beginning your sophomore year and as of now, you're at the top of your class. It's a lot of pressure. Again, it's normal."

But that's not it. That's not all of it. I can't tell him that. I can't tell anyone that. I just don't know who to talk to and it hurts me.

All I want right now is Fitz.

"I'm sorry for this morning."

I'm standing in front of Fitz and swallowing my pride.

He puts down the pack of chicken he was defrosting and looks at me. "It's okay. It is. Have you taken the test?"

"No," I walk towards him and wrap my arms around his torso. I know he's going to feel annoyed but if he knew how heavy my heart feels, he would know that there is no way I can handle a positive test result.

Fitz hugs me, his fingers resting on the part of my back exposed by the tank top. He doesn't say anything and I can tell he's unsettled."Why? Why haven't you taken it yet?"

I don't look at him - I just lean my head against his chest. "What if it's positive? Then what?"

I'm asking because I want an answer. I want Fitz to hold on to me, like he's done so many times before, and tell me that everything will be okay. I want him to reassure me and give me answers and solutions and….I just want that. I'm sick of the weight of the world on my shoulders.

"Then we'll figure it out."

Tears fill my eyes. "That's not an answer, Fitz."

Fitz moves his hands down to my waist and gently pulls me away from his body. He looks me in the eye and I can see that he's being honest. If anything, he's standing in his own truth.

"I don't have all the answers, baby. Believe me, I wish I did. I wish I did, because if it were up to me, the universe would cut you a break. If it were up to me, your dad would love you back, your best friend would actually act like a best friend, your mind would be at peace about this engagement and you would be pregnant when you want to be and only when you want to be."

He takes a deep breath and bites his lower lip.

"But it's not up to me, Livvy. All I can do is love you and support you until the end of time, which I will do. But you have to believe me when I tell you, baby, you have to believe me when I say that we will figure it how."

"I want to believe you," I promise, raising my hand to touch the side of his jaw. I feel his muscles relaxed under my palm. "But how do you know we'll figure it out?"

"Because, Liv," Fitz breaks into the smallest of smiles. "We always have before."

I realize this is true. There have been so many situations this past year in which I didn't think I would survive. But I did. We did. Our relationship was tested ruthlessly and it feels like the world is out to destroy us. But we were honest and we were strong and we were loving and that is the only way we got through it. And I plan to do it forever.

But first, I have to stand in my truth too.

"I don't want to have a baby," I tell him, grateful his hands are still on me. "I'm gonna be a y sophomore in college and you're gonna be away from me and I can't do it, I can't even think about doing it."

Fitz looks at me. He looks sad, but not resentful. He just nods. "I know. I know, Livvy. But the what we gotta do, before we talk about any of this, is take the test. Can you do that for me?"

"I don't think I can," I shake my head.

I feel weak, I feel pathetic. But I know that I'm too emotionally vulnerable for the result, whatever it is.

Fitz sighs heavily. "I know you, and I know that if you don't do it now, you're gonna hold it off until forever." He pauses and suddenly his voice takes a tight, irritated turn. "Damn it, Liv, this could be our child. You could jeopardize his or her health."

I know that and I know he's right. But at the same time….

"Please," Fitz says, an aching in his voice. "I've never asked you for anything before, Olivia. Just please do this."

And because I love him, and because he has always given me anything and everything, I know that I will do this one thing for him.

"Okay."

Fitz's POV

I'm with her in the bathroom. She doesn't ask me to be but she doesn't object.

She's not speaking at all. I know she's scared - I am too. This is not how I imagined ending our summer. But we're here.

"Hey," I look away slightly as she actually pees on the test. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn't have done it. I'm just nervous - same as you."

Livvy doesn't answer.

I suddenly feel really ashamed. I've never yelled at her before and I never wanted to. I'm not the kinda guy who shouts at his girl, not in public or private. I don't know what came over me. "I love you."

A second later, Liv replies and I'm so relieved that she does. "I love you too, Fitz."

I hear a shuffle and a few seconds later, she's next to me, tying her pajama drawstrings. I hold out my arms and she wordlessly comes into my embrace. We stand there, against the sink, waiting.

"There's something you should know about me," I hear her mumble against the middle of my chest.

I feel my chest tighten under her cheek. "I don't care, Liv, about any of your past relationships or -"

"No," Livvy cuts me off softly. "This…I know we said we wouldn't talk about this because it's hard. It's really freaking hard. But my mom. I was really close to her, Fitz. I was close to her and she died."

I hold Liv closer against me. I don't really know what to say. "I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts…well, no, I don't. I was younger when I lost my mom. But it still hurts. It feels-"

"Empty," Olivia says, barely audible. "It feels empty. Without her, I don't know what I'm doing. Or at least it feels that way."

I nod. Everyone goes through their own experiences with loss, so I'm not going to try to relate to Olivia's. Especially because I was just so young and I have had a lost of time to just forget. But I get that's she's hurting and if I could take all her pain away, I would do it in a heartbeat.

"I'm sorry," I repeat.

"Don't be," Liv's grasp on me tightens. "She was a great mother. She…my memories of her make me want to become a mother. I miss her."

I raise my eyebrows. "I thought you didn't want kids."

"Not like this," she admits. "Not when I wasn't ready. But I will still love my child. I'm not ready for them, but I'll still love them."

I smile against the top of her head. I'm really grateful to hear that.

"Fitz," Olivia says, her voice sounding tired. "Earlier this summer, when I thought I was pregnant and it came back negative...a part of me was kind of sad. Most of me was relieved but a little part of me was let down."

"What are you trying to say, Liv?"

"I dunno. I'm still not ready," she says in a concluding voice. "And I'm still scared. But all I'm saying is that you'd be a great father. And maybe we could figure out. Maybe…maybe I'd be okay with figuring it out."

It's not the enthusiasm I was looking for, but I'll take it. I'll take it because I love Liv and I know that she's so young and this is all so much.

I raise my eyes to the side of the sink, as I see the first test is done. My face warms up into a smile.

"Well, Livvy. I'm so glad to hear you say that, because you're pregnant."