Surprisingly, Derry's visits with Opie were going pretty well. He said how they talked about bikes a lot, and school and Derry loved having a little brother he could actually play with. I was of course still worried about the overnight visits and how Donna was treating him. While I knew she could never be violently cruel, I still didn't want her to be cold to my son. I always asked him how everything was when he came home Saturday evening and he always told me the same things, the only change in his answers being that Opie had promised the boys he was going to try and get them bunk beds so that no one had to sleep on the couch. I was thankful and glad that things were going well between Opie and our son, but it seemed like that was the only thing that was going right as of late.

Baz had been staying in our guest room more and more since Cath kicked him out and was trying to file for a divorce. There's more to the story, I know it since he came here instead of Smurf's place, but he's not telling. And while Baz has been spending more time in Charming, Craig has been disappearing to Oceanside more and more. I wasn't sure what he was doing or why, since while he was gone Baz was usually still with me, which meant they weren't pulling a job and it's been the source of many of our arguments lately. The times he was home, it was like he really wasn't here. He didn't want anything to do with the kids, he was antsy, and it seemed like everything made him angry and frustrated to the point of snapping. I've been hoping that he'll tell me what's going on with him, or he'll at least figure it out soon since Shep's first birthday was coming up and we were supposed to celebrate it together.

With Craig's constant coming and going, I was lucky to have such a good job that was able to provide daycare and allow me to do some work from home if I had to. But, sometimes I had no choice but to rely on Baz when he was around, or, reluctantly, my mother. Unfortunately for me, this was one of those times. I walked into the Teller-Morrow office, where I saw my daughter with an open car magazine in her lap sitting on a couch and my mother holding my son, who fussed and waved a toy car around with his small hands.

"Hey," I greeted, "Thanks for watching them for me"

"It's not a problem. They're easy kids" Gemma replied, handing Shep over to me

"That they are. Thank God. I don't know what I'd do if they weren't"

"Which reminds me, don't you have a husband to help you with his children?"

I didn't reply since I really didn't know what to say.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah. Things are fine. You know how it is, couples go through shit"

Gemma sighed, "You know, this was not how it was supposed to be"

"What do you mean?"

"You and him"

"Mom, I really don't need to hear this. I have to get them home"

I got up and beckoned to Maggie, who more than happily tossed the magazine to the side and reached for my hand.

"Hey, what are you doing for Shep's birthday?" Gemma inquired

"Oh, uh, not much really. Just cake and gifts. Keeping it small" I answered

"Define small"

"Smurf, Deran, Pope, Jay, Baz, Baz's daughter, the kids obviously, and if you guys are coming. Jax said he is."

"We'll be there"

"You sure about that?"

Gemma gave me a look, "Have you even talked to your father?"

"Not really. Every time we're within five feet of each other he takes off. We haven't said anything to each other that wasn't hi or bye"

"Talk to him at the party"

"I'll try"

"Is there anything you need me to bring?"

I waved her off, "Nah Smurf is coming up. She's taking care of pretty much everything for me"

"Really?"

"Mom, don't get all territorial. Smurf is family, she can help out"

"I didn't say anything. I'll be by in the morning to cook"

"You don't have to"

"It's my grandbaby's first birthday. I'll be damned if I miss that again"

"Alright, mom. Whatever you want"

I sighed and walked out of the office, now anxious over the idea of Smurf and Gemma in the same room.

The day of Shep's party, I woke up to Baz snoring in my ear. I wasn't sure when he ended up at the house, but since he crashed in my bed, I figured that not only it was late, it was probably after everyone else got there. Pope came up the previous morning to help me get things set up, then Deran and Jay came later that night before the kids went to bed. Smurf said she'd be at the house early in the morning and Baz said he'd be there with Lena when he could.

I slid out of bed and went to check the rooms, Shep sleeping soundly in his crib, Maggie in her bed with Lena in a sleeping bag on the floor, then Jay in Derry's room since he slept over Opie's house. I guessed that meant either Pope or Deran slept in the guest room. Once I got downstairs, I heard a noise in the kitchen and I hoped that meant Craig had come home. I passed Deran on the couch, poking my head around the door frame, not finding my husband, but Smurf surrounded by pots and pans.

"When did you get here?" I questioned, leaning against the wall

"Hi, baby, I didn't hear you get up" she replied

"I just did. Baz was snoring"

"I wondered where he was"

"Your boys are pretty much spread throughout my house" I moved over to the island and sat down on a bar chair, "You need a hand?"

She shook her head, "No, no, I'm going to take care of this. I just want you to worry about my baby boy"

"Deran?" I teased

Smurf smiled and tossed a towel at me.

"Is that son of yours going to show up today?" I inquired

"I don't know baby"

"How? He's there more than he's here. I haven't seen him in over a week!"

"Savannah, as much as I'd love to, I don't always know what goes on with my boys"

I wanted so badly to call her out. I knew that Smurf knew what the boys did pretty much every second of every day of their lives. But, I bit my tongue and decided to get my answers from Baz instead. I turned and got off the chair, moving back toward the door, looking back at Smurf,

"By the way, my mother's coming over to help cook. Just in case she gets here before I come back down" I told her, leaving before she could say anything else.

Baz was still sleeping when I got back to my bedroom, now sprawled diagonally across the bed. I tiptoed over to the bed, climbed in next to him, and sat on my legs, reaching over and pinching his nose shut. After a few seconds, his eyes shot open and he rolled onto his back, smacking my hand away,

"Goddammit, Sass. I hate it when you do that" he panted

"That's what you get for snoring in my ear" I retorted

"What time is it?"

"Early. Everyone's sleeping. Except for Smurf who's cooking"

He groaned and put the pillow over his face.

I shook him, "Come on Baz. I need to talk and all I'm getting from Smurf is bullshit"

"Talk about what?"

"What do you think?"

He sighed

"Where is he Baz?"

"I don't know"

"Bull"

"Sass, what do you want me to say?"

"I want to know what's going on!" I exclaimed, "I feel like everything's falling apart and I don't know how to deal with it"

"Sass-"

"Honestly, I don't know what I should be doing. Half the time I think that moving back to SoCal will fix everything and the other half I'm wondering if I should be getting ready to be a single mother divorcee"

"Hey!" he barked, "Listen to me, you won't ever be a single mother. No matter what happens with you and Craig, you'll never be alone. You have me, Pope, Deran, your brother. I'd even go out on a limb to say your mother and the club"

I let out a groan of my own, "Why couldn't I have married you instead?"

"Because I can't keep it in my pants" he grinned, kissing my cheek.

I laughed and flopped down onto my stomach, closing my eyes and hoping I could wake up to this all being a terrible dream.

I didn't get to sleep long, despite wanting to stay in bed for the rest of the day. I was upset and tired of getting nonanswers from everyone about Craig. But I was a mother and my kids needed me. I didn't get to feel sorry for myself. I got dressed, taking my wedding ring off and leaving it on my dresser before heading downstairs. Maggie was already up and dragging Jay around the house to play with her and Lena, while the rest of the boys set up the tables and chairs out in the backyard. My mother and Smurf were in the kitchen with a few croweaters, a thick tension in the air.

I knew it wasn't a good idea for them to get together.

"Hey, mom," I greeted, "Where is everyone?"

"On their way. Opie said he was running late" she replied

"Ok" I nodded

"Oh, baby, Pope has Shep" Smurf informed me

"I figured as much. He's usually with one of the kids"

I got up to relieve Pope from baby duty when the front door opened and I heard Maggie shout,

"Grandpa! Unca Jax!"

Jax waltzed into the kitchen and kissed my cheek, my father trailing behind him carrying my daughter.

"Look, mommy! Grandpa and Unca Jax here!" Maggie yelled excitedly

"I see. Why don't you go play with Lena, ok?" I suggested

"Ok!"

She wiggled out of my father's grasp and ran out of the room.

"Some of the guys are here too. I sent them around back" Jax said

"Thanks. If you don't mind just making sure everything's ok?"

He nodded, "I'm going to grab my nephew while I can"

I smiled and watched him walk outside, Gemma coming around and elbowing me in the side. She shot me a look and I huffed.

Clearing my throat, I looked at my dad, "Uh, dad? You think, um, you think we can talk for a minute?"

He stared at me and slowly nodded, "Yeah. Yeah we can talk"

I nodded and beckoned for him to follow me, leading him out to the side porch. My stomach twisted, I didn't know how this was going to go, but besides that Gemma made a point, I knew that if I didn't try to talk to him, she'd make us sit down and talk.

I sat on the porch swing, bringing my knees to my chest, and my father sitting next to me. I wasn't sure where to start and I didn't think he did either. There was so much unsaid between us, that I don't think we knew where to really begin.

A/N: Something quick for you guys that have been waiting. Question: Who do you want Savannah to end up with?

Craig? Opie? Someone in the club? Let me know!