Kurt is a little nervous. He's excited, mostly, but also nervous. It's Rachel's New Year's Eve party, and he's been looking forward to celebrating with his boyfriend and all their friends, but he's also anxious about Blaine meeting Chandler. He knows Chandler has caused some tension in their relationship, and he's just hoping that once Blaine finally meets Chandler it might help finally smooth things over. Chandler really isn't a threat, and he just wants Blaine to see that.
"Kurt! Blaine!" Rachel screeches, enveloping the boys in a hug as they stand on her front step.
"Hey Rach," Kurt greets her.
"Hi, Rachel," Blaine chimes in.
"Oh, Blaine, you need to tell me all about NYADA!" she sing-songs, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the house. Blaine shrugs helplessly back at Kurt, who just rolls his eyes and follows them into the house and down the stairs.
This is typical Rachel, and he'd been expecting this. Rachel has been bugging him non-stop about what Blaine thought of NYADA. NYADA, NYADA, NYADA, it was all the girl could talk about. And he loves Rachel, he really does, but it's a little exhausting at times, and he's hoping that once she gets her fill of information straight from the source, she might lay off a bit. Rachel drags Blaine over to a corner of the room, where she sits him down and leans in, talking animatedly, and Kurt can faintly hear her voice asking excited questions over the music playing in the room. He looks around, surveying the other guests who have already arrived. He sees Santana and Brittany up dancing together, Tina sitting in Mike's lap on a couch against the far wall, and Mercedes standing with Sam and Quinn at the bar. He's about to head over to Mercedes when he's tackled from behind with a hug.
"Kurt!" a familiar voice squeals in his ear.
"Chandler, hi!" Kurt says, extracting himself from the other boy's arms and turning to face him.
"Where's Blaine?"
"Rachel got to him," Kurt says, giving Chandler a rueful smile.
"Ah, he'll be there a while then," Chandler says, nodding knowingly. "Do you want a drink?"
"Oh, no, I'm driving," Kurt says, dangling his car keys.
Chandler gives him a warm smile. "Yeah, me too. Drinking isn't really my thing anyway. We can get sodas, come on!"
Kurt chances a glance over at Blaine, who seems deeply immersed in his conversation with Rachel, so when Chandler grabs his hand and drags him off toward the bar, he follows happily behind. Kurt stands by Mercedes while Chandler goes to the fridge to find them someone non-alcoholic to drink.
"There's Pepsi on the bottom shelf!" Mercedes calls out to Chandler, who gives her a thumbs up before going back to rooting through the fridge, this time on the lower shelves. "Hey Kurt, how are you?" she asks, wrapping him in a quick hug.
"I'm good! Boyfriendless for the moment, but eventually Rachel will have enough and she might give him back to me."
Mercedes chuckles. "I wouldn't hold your breath. All she could talk about before you got here was how much she wanted to ask Blaine about NYADA."
"I just hope she'll stop asking me about NYADA," Kurt rolls his eyes and laughs.
"Here you are, good sir," Chandler says, taking a small dramatic bow as he holds out a can of Pepsi to Kurt.
Kurt laughs and accepts the drink with a smile. "Thanks."
They stand there at the bar for a while talking, and Kurt loses track of time until he feels an arm wrap around his waist, a kiss pressed to his cheek, and a warm, solid body sliding in between himself and Chandler. "Hey, Kurt."
Kurt blushes a little; as comfortable as he's gotten with all the things he and Blaine do together, public displays of affection beyond holding hands always make him feel a little awkward.
"You managed to get away from Rachel, I see?" he teases, turning to look at his boyfriend.
"Wes saved me," Blaine says, gesturing to his friend behind them.
"Wes, hi! I wasn't sure if you were going to make it," Kurt says with another smile, turning to look at the other boy now.
"Well someone needed to save this guy from being stuck in that corner all night since clearly his boyfriend wasn't planning to do anything about it, Wes teases with a wink. "Is nobody playing bartender yet?" he asks with mock horror.
"No, not yet. Rachel said she was too busy being a 'hostess' to do it," Mercedes says, rolling her eyes.
"Puck will probably do it when he gets here," Sam adds.
Wes shakes his head. "No, that just won't do. We need a bartender now, and I know just the guy," he says, holding his hands out as though to part a crowd, despite the lack of crowd, as he walks around to the other side of the bar. "Blaine, what'll it be? Wait, no, don't answer, I'll surprise you," he decides, going to work behind the bar and rummaging through the fridge and shelves under the bar top as he takes stock of what he has to work with.
"Oh, Blaine, this is Chandler," Kurt says a bit awkwardly, gesturing to his friend on Blaine's other side.
"It's so nice to meet you!" Chandler exclaims excitedly, "Kurt talks about you all the time, I've heard so much about you. It's so great to finally meet you!"
Blaine turns to look at Chandler, and Kurt can't see his expression anymore, but his voice at least sounds cordial when he responds. "Good to meet you, too." Kurt supposes it's all he can ask for; at least Blaine is trying.
"Blaine, dude, how are ya man?" Sam asks, walking around the others and pulling Blaine into a hug. Blaine hugs Sam back.
He can still feel the tension in the air, but he figures it will ease as Blaine gets a little more comfortable with Chandler. The night goes on, and Kurt loses count of Blaine's drinks. Every time he suggests Blaine should take it easy, Blaine brushes him off, so Kurt just gives up. He figures there can't be any harm beyond the awful hangover Blaine is sure to have in the morning.
Kurt is seated in a chair chatting with Sam and Blaine on the couch across from him when Chandler walks over and takes a seat on the arm of Kurt's chair, leaning a bit to the side and draping an arm around Kurt's shoulders to support himself.
"Hey guys, what's going on here?" Chandler asks cheerily.
"Alright, no, that's it," Blaine spits angrily, standing from his spot on the couch next to Sam. "Kurt, a word?" Blaine gestures toward the doorway to the bathroom.
Chandler straightens up, and Kurt stands slowly. "Blaine, I don't understand what-"
"Just, get over here," Blaine says, grabbing Kurt's bicep roughly and pulling him toward the door, and Kurt can hear the faint slur of Blaine's words.
"Blaine, stop, you're hurting me," he scolds quietly, so the others don't hear; he doesn't want to cause a scene.
Blaine doesn't let go of Kurt's arm until they're in the bathroom, door closed behind them. He releases his grip, just as roughly as he'd grabbed on, and Kurt rubs his arm where Blaine's hand had been.
"What?" Kurt asks, annoyed.
"You're just gonna let him hang all over you all night? Right in front of me?" Blaine asks, and he's very clearly slurring his words now.
"Blaine, he's not- you're drunk, calm down." Kurt says, keeping his voice hushed, hoping Blaine will follow suit.
He doesn't.
"I'm not going to calm down, Kurt. I'm in New York trying to get an education, trying to make you proud of me, and you're back here, what, screwing around with any guy who will give you the time of day?"
"Blaine!" How could Blaine think he would ever do that, could ever do that? He loves Blaine, so much it hurts sometimes. He would never cheat, and it breaks his heart a million times over that Blaine would think him even capable of it. "You know I'm not. That is not what this is."
"No, Kurt, I don't know. Because that's sure what it looks like to me. You just want someone to touch you, you don't care who it is, do you?" Blaine says, voice low, and he pushes Kurt back up against the wall, takes a step toward him.
"Blaine, stop it," Kurt says sternly, but his voice wavers ever so slightly; Blaine either doesn't notice, or doesn't care.
"Nobody else gets to do that, Kurt. Nobody. Just me. I'm your boyfriend. You don't get to go whoring yourself out to the first guy you see that will touch you," Blaine continues, pinning Kurt against the wall with a hand on one of Kurt's shoulders; the other hand reaches down between Kurt's legs, groping over his soft cock in his pants, and Blaine's mouth presses against Kurt's neck, kissing and nipping at the skin there.
"Blaine, stop," Kurt insists again, this time his voice is more wobbly than firm. Blaine is starting to scare him. This scene is all too familiar, reminds him too much of that day in the locker room, and Blaine won't stop, Blaine is so mad, and he doesn't know what he can do.
"This what you want?" Blaine asks, moving to undo the buckle of Kurt's belt, mouth still against Kurt's neck where he's working on sucking a bruise into the skin. "Want someone to touch you? I'll touch you, babe. You're all mine. Gonna show you you only need me, nobody else." Blaine fumbles a bit, but manages to open Kurt's belt, reaches a hand down the front of his pants.
"Stop," Kurt cries out, and he really is crying now, tears starting to fall down his face as he feels Blaine's hand groping him roughly, the skin on skin contact drawing a sob from his body. This can't be happening. This is not happening. It can't be. But he's frozen in place, can't bring himself to push Blaine away for some reason, so he just closes his eyes and wills Blaine to stop, wills himself to do something.
The door opens then, and Kurt doesn't see who it is, but he feels Blaine being pulled away from him. He sinks to the floor, burying his face in his hands, hyperventilating as sobs wrack through his body. He hears voices above him, thinks one might be Sam, but everything feels like he's underwater and free-falling at the same time and he can't focus enough to make out what any of them are saying. What must be only a few moment later but feels like a lifetime, he feels a pair of solid hands grip his shoulders, and he flinches back, sobbing even harder at the touch, he just needs to get away, but there's nowhere to go, nobody is holding him here but he's trapped all the same, unable to move as invisible walls close in around him.
"Shit, Kurt, I'm sorry, I... you need to breathe," a voice says from in front of him, and it's a male's voice, not Blaine or Sam, but someone else, he can't place who, and he doesn't open his eyes to find out, can't make himself look yet, so he just rocks a little in place.
"Please, Kurt. You're gonna pass out. Breathe with me, okay?" The voice asks gently. Kurt doesn't answer, but the voice continues anyway. "We're gonna breath in for four seconds, then out for six, okay? Do it with me."
The voice in front of him guides him, repeats a mantra of "breathe in, two three, four, breathe out, two three, four, five, six," and eventually Kurt finds himself being able to follow along. He takes in deep, shuddering breaths before exhaling them, still letting out a sob every few breaths, but he's managed to regulate his breathing and he feels the panic start to subside. He sniffles a bit, drops his hands, and finally takes a look at the boy in front of him.
"There you go, good job," Wes says, eyes full of concern as he tries to give Kurt an encouraging smile.
Kurt wipes at the tears on his face, sniffles again. "Sorry," he says weakly.
"No, Kurt, it's fine," Wes says quickly, but he seems uncertain, like there's something else he wants to say but he's not sure how to say it.
They sit there in silence for a few moments, Wes' eyes glued to Kurt's and Kurt's eyes glued to the tile floor.
"Are you... okay?" Wes asks cautiously. "I don't... did he... what happened?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Kurt says, almost as a reflex; he's so used to not letting anyone in, and he's friends with Wes, sure, but it's not like it is with Mercedes or Tina or Rachel, and even if it was, he'd probably still lie. "I just, um... had a panic attack, I think. It wasn't- he didn't, um... it's fine." He knows it doesn't sound like much of an explanation, but he doesn't want to talk about this. Not right now, and not with Wes.
"Are you sure?" Wes asks, tilting his head to the side. "That seemed like... well, a lot."
"Yeah," Kurt says, wiping the last of the tears from his face, "I'm fine. Where, uh, where is Blaine?"
He's not actually sure that he wants to know, right now, but he figures that he should want to know, so he asks anyway.
"Sam took him outside, I think."
Kurt just nods, stares ahead for a few moments, then finally stands and makes his way out of the bathroom, through the basement and up the stairs, barely even registering his friends' concerned voices or Wes following behind him and calling for him to wait; he feels like he's floating through the world, like an out-of-body experience where he's watching himself from above, going through these motions that he knows he should be going through, but not really thinking.
He grabs his coat from the closet, pulls it on and fastens the belt around his waist, then steps outside to find Blaine; it doesn't take long. Blaine and Sam are sitting on the front deck, backs against the house, Blaine huddled in Sam's arms, sobbing.
"Blaine." It's a whisper, Kurt barely hears it himself, but Blaine's eyes snap open and he looks right at Kurt.
"Kurt," Blaine breathes, voice breaking, and then he's sobbing harder.
"He won't say anything," Sam says, looking up at Kurt and Wes wide-eyed.
Kurt stands there, frozen, staring down at the two boys huddled together. He knows he should be there, holding Blaine, but he just can't bring himself to do it. Thankfully, Wes seems to know what to do, and he's crouched on the ground on Blaine's other side, rubbing a soothing hand on Blaine's arms and talking quietly into Blaine's ear. Kurt can't make out the words, probably wouldn't really register them even if they were loud enough to hear, but after a few minutes Blaine is nodding, wiping at his tears, and Wes is helping him stumble to his feet.
"I think you should get him home, and uh... maybe yourself, too," Wes says, looking at Kurt. "Do you... are you okay to drive?"
Kurt shakes his head a little, trying to snap himself back to reality, but when Wes' face fills with even more concern – which is impressive, Kurt thinks, given how concerned the boy already looks – he realizes how it must have been interpreted.
"No, no, I mean- yes, yeah, um. I'm fine. To drive," he sputters out.
"Are you sure?" Wes sounds skeptical. "I'm sure we could find someone to take you, or if you don't want to be...," he trails off.
"Yeah, no, it's okay," Kurt says quickly, "it's not far, I- I'm fine."
"Okay," Wes nods slowly, "I'll just grab his jacket."
At the mention of his jacket, Blaine wraps his arms around himself and shivers, almost as though just remembering he should be cold. Kurt just feels numb.
A few moments later, Wes emerges from the house with Blaine's jacket, draping it around his shoulders. "Let's get you in the car."
Wes walks down to the car with the two boys, helping Blaine as he stumbles over his own feet. Kurt unlocks the car and gets behind the wheel while Wes helps Blaine into the passenger seat, fastening his seatbelt, and then Blaine is slumping over against the closed door. Wes comes around to Kurt's side, and Kurt rolls his window down.
"You sure you're okay?" Wes asks, face still just as concerned as the first time Kurt opened his eyes to see the other boy crouched before him.
"Yeah," Kurt nods, not really trusting himself to say anything more.
"Okay," Wes says, not seeming entirely convinced, but he doesn't argue and Kurt counts that as a win. "Just, um, text me when you get home, okay? So I know you're safe?"
"Sure," Kurt agrees.
Wes just nods, and takes a step back from the car. Kurt rolls up his window, pulls out of the driveway, and starts the short drive home, Blaine asleep in the passenger seat beside him.