If You Think It's Love (King Princess)
"Do you know what I love the most about New York?" She asks me as she traces her fingers across my palm.
I'm skimming the menu and not even looking across the table at her but I swear to all that's holy if she stops touching me, I'll crumble.
But I just grunt in response.
"Hmm."
"That you're here."
I put the menu down and leveled my eyes at her. "How fucking corny are you?"
She grinned and then brought my fingers to her lips, kissing each finger individually and I was putty.
"Only with you." She whispered, pausing to wink at me and then proceeded to continue her ministrations.
Old me would have glanced around the restaurant to see who was looking but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Quinn.
When she was done with my hand she brought it down to her boob and gave herself a squeeze with my hand.
My face must have conveyed all of my embarrassment because she let out a huge laugh, assuredly drawing everyone's attention.
"You're in rare form." I said, before taking her hand and holding it still.
I still needed slow but I'm pretty sure this wasn't about sex, it was about distraction and it was working.
Somewhat.
"Blame it on the kitchen, we've been waiting on these noodles for days." She teased. "They needs to hurry it up before I go all Lima Heights."
And at that I joined her in laughing.
My God, it felt so good to let go just a little bit.
I laughed until I was crying.
And then the food came and my hungry belly reminded me of my lack of food.
The moment lingered and I was finally glad that I had let her drag me out of the apartment.
I let Quinn pamper me for the last few days before resuming my residency.
She took long showers with me always followed up with massages and kisses.
There was still no sex but a lot of tension and I loved every minute of it.
Papi's words were still lingering in my mind, how she could be fickle and that kept me from taking thing too far with her.
For now.
And she stuck to her word, just being my best friend and loving me.
Supporting me.
And when 5am came on Sunday morning, she was also the one that ripped the covers off of my body and pounced on me.
"Seriously?"
I tried staying still until she started to rub the salt from my eyes.
"Get up."
"No." I knew I was pouting and instead of snapping at me she just kissed my poked out lip and then put a knee between my legs.
Rubbing and grinding.
"Oh God! I'm up, I'm up!"
I opened my eyes and she was smiling like an imbecile.
"Shower?"
"Timeisit?"
She looked above my head and then quirked an eyebrow.
"5:05."
"What time Felo say he coming?"
She was grinning now. "6am sharp."
"You already have the shower running, don't you?"
"Yep."
"Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?"
"Oh, sweet cheeks that's not actually something I need to try at."
My first day back, I was relegated to follow-ups in place of Felo.
He had made sure that I wasn't overwhelmed but that I was supremely busy on my first day back and I was grateful for it.
I also noticed that by doing his follow-ups, we barely had a moment alone together.
He was giving me the space that I had asked for.
It should have made me happy but instead, I felt displaced without his little touches and winks in my direction.
Halfway through the day, I was finishing up with a patient when there was a knock at the triage door.
When I looked up there stood Felo with little specks of red on his scrub top with the most exhausted face, which usually only happened when he lost someone on the table.
Once we were alone he closed the door, pulled the curtain closed and then collapsed onto the exam table.
I rubbed his arm as he silently cried into his hands.
"Hey, breathe...okay...you did everything you could...just breathe."
He nodded but I could tell by the shaking of his shoulders that he hadn't calmed even a little bit.
I walked around the bed and climbed in with him, wrapping my arms around his waist burying my face against his back.
We laid there for awhile, him getting out the heaviness and me using the moment to pray.
Like always, when we lost someone, I would pray for them, their families, and for Felo.
Eventually he joined in with me when he could get out words without a whimper.
I liked this side of him.
True and honest.
If I had a son, I hoped that he inherited this trait from Felo.
And that moment solidified for me that I couldn't completely cut him out.
I would make sure he played a central role with this kid but I couldn't tell him that.
He would take it as more and that wasn't something I could stomach.
When I left the hospital, feeling hollowed out and bone tired, there she stood with a sly smile and a smoothie.
"Hey you." She said.
"Hey."
I took the smoothie in one hand her hand in the other.
We walked together silently, me sipping and her humming.
I had worked an overnight, so the streets were barely crowded yet.
Morning joggers, walks of shame, and rushing business people were all that we had to contend with.
"I missed you last night." Q said, as we cut through Central Park.
"Yeah?"
"Yup. Do you have to work tonight?"
"I do."
"Ugh. Can we go home and cuddle then?"
"Yeah, that works for me."
"But, to my home."
"Uhh...isn't my sister there?"
She rolled her eyes.
"Celia left, have you not talked to her since Lima?"
"Nope."
"See, I didn't want it to go down like this. She promised me that she wouldn't let this change your relationship."
She was ranting now and I just happily sipped the last remnants of my smoothie before admitting the truth.
"Easy, killer...she's called me...I just haven't answered."
I nearly pitched forward when she stopped abruptly, she rounded on me and dropped my hand.
Her finger was digging between my breasts as she glared at me.
"Promise me that you'll call her."
"Or what?"
She arched her brow and I arched mine back.
"Don't test me." She growled.
"I'll do what I want."
She reached an arm around me and gripped my ass cheek.
"You really doing this here, Fabray?"
"Maybe I'll want to go slow too..." She whispered.
"So."
"That's what you say now, but once those hormones ramp up you'll see how bad your need to be fucked is."
Ten days passed before my first block of days off and as if my body was raring to go, I woke up panting from a very sexy dream about the blonde that was currently giving me the cold shoulder.
I still hadn't talked to Celia.
My explanations of why were always excuses and now I woke up wanting her.
And I knew that before anything, I'd have to eat crow.
So eat crow I did.
Weekends meant that Quinn was home.
It also meant that we could fuck the day away if we so chose to.
We just hadn't yet and if I wanted that to change then it was imperative that I get over myself.
If one thing about me hadn't changed it was my love for orgasms.
Quinn was cradling a stuffed lamb that she was normally ashamed to admit that she slept with.
It was the most adorable thing and while I knew she'd murder me, I snapped a pic of her and then locked myself in the bathroom.
"Yo!" Celia said, the echo of her voice letting me know that I was on speaker.
"Hi."
"About fucking time you called me back."
"Yeah...I can't even give you a shit excuse, I just wasn't ready."
"I can respect that. So what, Q made you call me or she was going to withhold?"
"Uh..."
"That's a yes." She cackled and then I heard the slap of her chanclas hitting hard wood.
"Did you just dance?"
"Yes, because now that I'm removed from it, I can see that I was a placeholder. I wasn't getting what I needed from her. I've processed and that kind of shit is something I will NOT miss."
"Was it worth it?" I asked boldly because I was a Lopez and if she felt so free to talk shit, then so could I.
She paused and then she made a grunt.
"Always."
"Got it. So why did you call me? You know I didn't listen to a single message."
"At first it was to yell at you but then I just got worried. Eventually though, I was just calling to call. Before this shit, we talked at least twice a week. I don't like the space."
"Yeah...I know."
"We went through something similar, if any of the girls gets this pain, it's me."
And right then it hit me.
Papi had three baby mamas...only one lives.
Celia's mom had died giving birth to her and she was raised by the first baby mama.
"Shit."
"You forgot."
"Well yeah, you never mention her."
"I don't have much to mention. I didn't get a chance to know her...like you..." She trailed off and I knew the rest.
I was privileged.
I had memories of my mother and she didn't.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I didn't have much to get over because I was a baby and you have a lifetime of memories. I should have given you the space that you needed."
"We're both sorry shits then, aren't we?"
"Speak for yourself, nena. I'm fucking fantastic."
The ice was broken.
We laughed and reminisced for an hour before she scolded me for letting her paint dry uneven.
The call ended organically, with plans to meet up for Quizzo down at her bar.
I was glad that I called.
Frankly, I don't know what I was afraid of, my sisters had always been dope.
I needed to treat them better.
When I ended the call, I turned to see a very naked Quinn watching me from my bedroom doorway.
Celia had said it was always worth it.
And I was about to find out just how much.
"Get in here, I'm starving." She growled and by God, I hustled.
And friends, it was definitely worth it.
With Quinn, it always was.
That's what happens when someone becomes your home.
Every moment, good or bad is worth getting over yourself.
A/N: Meta-maybe. I missed them. How are you chicas? More or nah?