DISCLAIMER: I don't own KHR or any of the associated characters aside from my OCs.
"They're back, boss." Squalo was leading the way to the boss' office one moment and dying of embarrassment the next. He held the door open for my team, blushing at the weird noises coming from the boss' laptop, "That's a new low, even for you. Watching porn in the office is just…"
"It's not porn." Boss paused the video, looking up to find me standing in the doorway with an amused expression. He smirked at my teammates who were standing there like embarrassed high schoolers despite being nearly forty, "Report?"
"We accidentally let Volore loose a little early." I commented, gesturing at our hotheaded vanguard, "But it's okay. We just got a little rough with them. We got all the goods."
"A little rough?" Those crimson eyes were shining with a teasing gleam. His whole face seemed to be laughing despite the unchanging expression on his poker face, "So you decimated them and took the goods by force?"
"Decimated?" I feigned hurt, glancing at my nervous squad members, "I'm a little old to be decimating entire famiglias nowadays. Blame Alpha."
Alpha was my most trusted partner and teammate but I'll avoid getting into the details of my team. As much as I want to brag about them, it's a long story. All you need to know about Alpha is he's an illusionist who doesn't lose to Flan or Mammon or even Rokudo Mukuro if he's having a good day. He doesn't even lose to Kyoya without a fight.
The other members of my team are Volore, the Lightning Flame unit Reborn gave me, Koge, the Rain Flame unit Dino gave me, and Julianno. Julianno was also initially a member of the Cavallone Family. All you need to know about him at the moment is he's a Sun Flame user and he happens to be Lussuria's lover.
Oh. And there's one more person who happens to be wrapping things up for me. A Storm-flamed drama queen who… happens to be Squalo's current lover. Yes. I'm talking about Coyote's daughter-Sofia. She's also a long story I won't get into but years of misfortune and doing the dirty with Squalo changed her for the better.
"So you left one alive?" Boss snickered when I grinned at him challengingly.
"Nah." I couldn't help but laugh with him, "I was gone a whole month. I wouldn't waste my time if I was just going to kill them all. We only killed a dozen or so."
From a distance I could hear someone screaming as they sprinted towards us. I didn't even have to turn to know who was coming. Lussuria flung himself into his lover's arms and danced around for a moment like some crazed herbivore. I could only laugh at their antics.
"Bastard." Squalo muttered under his breath and I knew he was just cranky since I made his lover stay back and clean up the mess we made, "Do that somewhere else."
"Heh." I snickered, "Your lover's being punished for letting Volore kill someone after I said stop."
Volore looked rather uncomfortable with Squalo breathing down his neck in fury but he couldn't do anything.
"Don't be too mad. She'll make it in time for the party tonight." I motioned for my team to leave us to prepare for said party considering how much some of them wanted to fuck before we left. With the minions out of sight, I rounded the table to take a look at the screen the boss wasn't particularly trying to hide, "What's with the porn though?"
"It's not porn." Xanxus huffed a second time, "It's a video we made ten years ago."
"I don't recall any…" If I didn't remember it before, I sure as hell remembered it now when the boss hit play and the image of us on the dining room table after Squalo's birthday party began rolling in full HD. I slammed the laptop shut, blushing right along with Squalo who didn't have the tact to get out when my team left, "That was supposed to be recording what Squalo-senpai's like when he's drunk! It was still rolling after you all left?!"
"Blame Luss!" Squalo roared and went running as I threw things at him. It was a habit I picked up from hanging around the boss too much.
Fuming, I opened the laptop again. I was just about to hit delete when the boss caught my wrist and pulled me into his lap. I groaned, "You're not keeping it."
"I'm keeping it." He declared and wouldn't let me have it any other way. He silenced my protests with his lips, tongue following in a heated fashion.
I had to practically peel my body away from him, breathlessly telling him, "I have to shower before we go."
"Feh." He was definitely complaining, hoping we would be among the many couples who did the do before the party after my long absence, "Don't forget the ring this time. I'll kill you for real."
Laughing, I waved at him over my shoulder as I left. I immediately went to retrieve said ring from my desk drawer. I removed my purple-stone rings and pocketed them for later, slipping the thin golden band onto my left ring finger in exchange before the shower so I wouldn't forget later.
My explanation for the ring… I don't have one. We didn't get married in a big ceremony or anything. In fact, we're not even legally married but it's to fool people into thinking we are. It's to tame the uncontrollable jealousy we're prone to feeling when people approach the other trying to offer marriage proposals and such. I mean, people still approach Xanxus in all seriousness but I feel less angry about it when he casually flips them off with the wrong finger to showcase the matching ring.
Uniformed and ready to go, we met in the parking garage to head out. The driver informed me of Sofia's current location relative to ours and I snickered at Squalo's expense. He was salty as fuck, knowing ninety percent of the people in our car had just gotten sexual favors.
"Heh." Even Xanxus thought it was funny, elbowing me in the side in his adorable fashion. Yes, he's adorable sometimes. Let me have my fun.
Arriving on location, we naturally fell into order. We had a new order to our natural walk. I no longer felt the need to walk behind the boss on his left side. I actively tried not to walk in front of him but sometimes, I ended up in front with my own team flanking me.
The first time I came with my team in full force, I came without the boss. We had returned from Spain and agreed to meet the rest of the officers here. I came in without them, getting a taste of what the boss must feel like when everyone moves aside. And everyone who didn't move over as we entered got Volore snarling at them like a savage guard dog or the ice cold glare from our frosty illusionist.
From then on, they knew to move or die. It was the same as coming in full force with the boss and the officers. High on power and the taste of the perks of leadership, I no longer bothered falling in line behind Xanxus. He knew he couldn't stop me so his attempts at getting me in line were lazy and few.
"Decimo!" I called out to Sawada, getting all the hounds away from the poor boy who looked like he was drowning in the crowd. I grinned, taking the hand he offered me in greeting, "You're still too nice. Want me to leave Volore with you?"
"I already have Gokudera for that." Sawada grinned, embracing me shortly and then gesturing to his snarling right hand man, "It doesn't work."
"It's 'cause your wife's an herbivore." I snickered, "Where's Kyoya?"
"He said he couldn't stand our crowding. He told me to tell you he'd wait in the garden by the fountain." He already knew I would abandon him when the information was relayed. He was laughing as I stormed away, turning to greet my boss, "Xanxus, hurry up. She's leaving you."
"Shut up." Xanxus was always crabby when my brother attended parties. It meant I would ignore him most of the time, "I can't stand their incestual flirting."
Snickering, I threw a teasing comment back at him as I took my leave, "Kyoya likes ass as much as you do, boss."
"Fucking trash!" Boss took a shot at me immediately but I didn't have to bother with it.
Volore popped his box weapon and the armored turtle deflected the bullet by standing up like a wall between us. My lightning-flamed partner smirked and boldly stuck his tongue out at the boss as we hurried away. He was in a good mood and I knew it to be because he had a crush on Kyoya's lover who would most likely be in the garden with him.
Bingo.
They were sitting by the bench in front of the fountain. My brother felt me coming and he was waiting. Smiling adorably, he gave his lover a shove to the other end of the bench and offered me the seat at his side. Kyoya wasn't one to play games but he's a possessive kind of man. Always thinking I belonged to him and him alone, he was beyond irritated when I finally broke it to him that I was in love with the boss and ready to wear this fake wedding ring.
I told him about the invisible chains linking me to the boss' side and he knew there was nothing he could do about it at this point. But that didn't mean he didn't enjoy making the boss fume at every given opportunity.
When I moved to take a seat, he curled his arms around me and threw me down across his lap. I laughed, knowing the boss had just entered the garden and was in Kyoya's line of sight. Boss was just like Kyoya in terms of jealousy and possessiveness but he had also given up at this point. There was nothing he could do about Kyoya's need to display dominance but he always tried.
"Kira." Boss growled at me, reaching out for me demandingly, "Come here."
"I'm not a dog." I grumbled, pressing my lips boldly to Kyoya's nose instead, "This is my brother so you come here and pay your respects instead."
He opened his mouth to spit a scathing comment but our newest arrivals cut him off.
"Wow!" Dino and Yamamoto had arrived, bringing their lovers with them. In Dino's case, it was his wife on his arm, "Must be nice to be Kyoya/Hibari."
Cuddling into Kyoya's neck at this age is probably disgusting but I'm having a lot of fun with it. Even if I'm eighty, I'd be totally okay with this kind of flirting. It's kind of funny. I get a kick out of watching people react to it. Specifically, I enjoy watching Kyoya's lover pout and huff all upset but Kyoya doesn't notice until afterwards. He's too busy with his eyes on the prize. Meaning, he's picking a fight with Xanxus.
But the number of people was starting to increase and Kyoya was upset, eyes narrowing into a cold glare to chase off our new arrivals, "Go away, herbivores."
"You heard him." I nudged Kyoya's lover with my foot and then glared back at Yamamoto's and Dino's lover respectively, "Get lost."
"Hey, hey, hey." Yamamoto grinned in his leisurely fashion, "Don't be mean. We heard the Garriano's were here and came to rescue you."
I gagged, "Garriano's here?"
The reason the boss told me not to forget my ring was Don Garriano. He lost his wife a few years back and he was dead set on remarrying. Specifically, he was dead set on marrying a non-herbivore this time. Someone useful and not so easily killed. Meaning either me or Sofia and apparently, I looked like an easier target cause Squalo is actually really good to his lover unlike the sometimes-hot-mostly-cold boss.
As if his name had called him from the depths of hell, Don Garriano and his lackeys were marching through the gardens towards us.
Dino was chuckling quietly, muttering, "He's walking towards his death."
"Honestly though." Yamamoto was just as amused, "Who walks towards a woman surrounded by this many high ranking mafiosos? He's got to be brain dead."
"He will be when I'm done with him." Kyoya declared, taking hold of me in a bridal style carry as he stood up. Even with me in his arms, he looked like he could take down an elephant if it was in his way.
"With words, little brother." I cautioned, "We don't need to go to war."
"But we'd like to." He smirked, subconsciously softening when my hands cupped his face, "War is a reason to stretch my limbs."
Alpha was already reaching for his gun, Volore mumbling curses at his side as Koge tried to calm the two rowdier members of the team.
I held up my hand, "I got it. Calm down."
Don Garriano was upon us, smiling that seductive smile of his as he greeted me. He didn't bother waiting for me to be set on my feet before taking up my hand and placing a lingering kiss at the back of it. Customary greeting aside, he offered me a fancy night out. He promised me dinner and wine and maybe more. He seemed so very confident.
Disinterested, I was staring at my brother's beautiful eyes. At this age, I can admit I have a thing for people with sparkling eyes. I'll do anything if someone with adorable eyes asks me for a favor and that's where this went extremely wrong.
Two extremely small children were sprinting through the courtyard towards Garriano. The pair of siblings stared up at their father, pleading for him to come play with them. They were bored with the people inside.
"I'm a little busy now." He told the little girl, rubbing her head as his son tugged at the hem of his pants, "Just hold on a little longer."
Teary-eyed and looking like a kicked puppy, the boy turned his eyes on me while his sister tried to convince their father otherwise, "Miss, can Papa come play with us? We promise he'll finish work with you soon."
"Yes." I murmured, smacking Kyoya when he tried to pull me away, "Anything you want."
Don Garriano realized what was happening and whispered his ploy to his son who immediately lost the teary-eyed gaze and was now staring up at me in awe. His beautiful blue eyes were filled with childish admiration-sparkling with the same wonder and passion that Kyoya used to have as a child.
He reached up a hand and announced, "You're very pretty, ma'am! Please have dinner with Papa tomorrow. I'll let you see my airplanes! You can take one home with you… But just one… And not the blue one please."
Forget the airplanes. I want to take this kid home with me. I clutched at my brother's arm with one hand and my heart with the other. I'm losing.
"Oh, brother." Dino rolled his eyes. He already knew the reason I had been in love with him was because of those glimmering eyes of his and he knew this kid was Garriano's best chance at winning me over. Smiling a dazzling smile, he called to me and when I turned he was giving me the best puppy dog eyes a person his age could manage and I felt like someone had shot me, "Let the kid play with his father already. We have our own business to discuss, right?"
Clueless, Yamamoto was giving me a dazzling and carefree smile, "Like playing baseball?"
Whining and whimpering like an herbivore, Garriano's son pouted and crossed his small arms over his chest in adorable stubbornness only a child could pull off, "Baseball's not fun at all. I like soccer!"
Yamamoto was genuinely offended and, even though the situation wasn't understood, he was now giving me the eyes too, "Baseball's better. Right Kira-senpai?"
"Sports are dumb." Kyoya spat, competitive fire gleaming in his eyes, "Fighting is more important, herbivore."
Holding up his hands innocently, Dino backed off, feigning hurt but there was a playful sparkle in his eyes, "Man, Kira doesn't even look in my direction with the two of you fighting it out. Serena, help."
His wife rolled her eyes at him. She was used to his antics by now and she didn't even bother getting jealous but I was always jealous. When I think that Dino used to be in love with me, I can't help but feel the burn knowing he married her. She's nothing like me and it hurt knowing he was content with someone my complete opposite.
But I digress.
"The topic wasn't baseball or soccer or fighting." Alpha reminded me. His expression was dark and stormy, jealousy boiling in his chest as well, "It was dinner with Don Garriano, milady."
"Oh." I forgot. Laughing, I shook my head, "A no's a no, Don Garriano."
"But why?" His son cried out in his stead, pouting and getting teary-eyed again, "Pleaseeeee."
Shot again by his adorable gaze, I hesitated on the response.
A shot went off, narrowly missing the poor boy. I was legit shocked but I noticed how my petty team hadn't bothered protecting him. I glared at Alpha who was definitely in range to block the shot but he only turned his eyes away innocently.
"Enough." Xanxus had kept quiet for long enough. He was pissed, storming through the Guardians and bosses surrounding me to take me under his arm as usual, "Every single one of you can drop dead. Get lost while I'm being generous. I don't like people touching my things."
"Things?!" I was mildly offended but when I looked up into those challenging, angry, red eyes of his I lost the will to glare and ended up a blushing mess, "Okay, boss. Yes, boss."
"If you like brats so much, stop taking those pills." He ordered, "I'll give you one."
"Wow." Dino and Yamamoto were always stunned by the boss' obscure ways of showing affection. They often joked about how they thought he was smooth in a strange kind of way.
And Kyoya reacted with his default emotion-anger. Tonfas gleaming in the moonlight, he swung at the boss who ducked out of the way and took me with him, "You. Will. Not. Defile. My. Sister! Come and die!"
Garriano's forgotten, I laughed and laughed and laughed as they went at it. Xanxus claimed he could do whatever he wanted with something belonging to him while Kyoya insisted on telling the boss I belonged to him but I knew their secrets.
Boss thought Kyoya was kind of cute so fighting with him was a way to connect with the normally disinterested, cold Cloud Guardian. Similarly, Kyoya was just as amused by the boss' strength. I think my brother appreciates having someone stronger than me to fight him.
Squalo and his lover were finally joining us. Judging by the ruffled state of their clothes, they had just gotten out of a private corner of the building. Squalo blushed when I arched my eyebrow at him suggestively but he didn't let it deter him. He came because someone told him our boss was wreaking havoc in the gardens.
Enraged by the mess we were making, Squalo demanded, "Stop him. Now."
"Aww, senpai." I complained, "You know we can't stop them when they get like that. Let them have their fun."
Squalo, Dino and Yamamoto all exchanged glances as Sofia giggled quietly. They all knew I was lying. There's something that always gets the boss to do what I want and these people often take advantage of it.
"Oh, come on!" I whined, "Let them fight."
"No." Was the resounding chorus from my supposed allies.
I groaned as they played janken to decide who would get to treat the great boss of the Varia like a dog. I didn't stop them. I knew I couldn't. There were so many of them and only one of me and this is the one thing my team won't help me stop. They find it hilarious just like everyone else. They'd definitely get away with it eventually.
"Yes!" Dino exclaimed playful, holding up the fist that had won him their round of janken. Clearing his throat, he said in the fakest tone, "Kira, what did you say?"
"I didn't say anything." I grumbled, rolling my eyes as the others shushed me.
"Your stomach hurts? Specifically, your liver?!"
It was so unbelievable. It was dumb. But everyone was still laughing and the boss still, knowing it was a prank, flipped Kyoya to the floor like a savage and rushed to my side. He's always afraid that one day it won't be a joke so even if he's been tricked over and over, he always runs to me.
On the small chance that I'm actually in pain, he embraces me and I can hear the rapid pounding of his heart beneath his skin. This is my secret. I love this so I never stop anyone from using the liver prank. All that stuff about their numbers and not getting help are just excuses.
It always goes down the same way but it still makes my heart flutter.
"I'm fine, boss." I assured him. I could feel his anger rising so I turned up to look into those beautiful crimson eyes and I felt his anger just melt away. Knowing it was safe to tease now, I got my petty revenge on Don Cavallone, "I meant, ouch. Dino hit me."
"Oh?" His eyes moved from me to Dino, immediately darkening with something only I could read-playful protectiveness, "Should I shoot him for you?"
"Hmm." I turned, demanding an apology from Dino with a glare, "I don't know, Don Cavallone. Should he shoot you?"
"No. Sorry." He said meekly, making his wife laugh as he used her as a shield against my glare, "Serena, help. Get them. They're bullying me."
"That's why you don't marry herbivores." Kyoya snickered, eyes widening when everyone spun on him with an incredulous look. He pretended we weren't pointing accusing fingers at his herbivorous wife to-be, "I have enough strength for both of us."
Squalo, feeling smug about his Varia Quality lover, declared, "Not if we're your opponents. You want to take us on?"
"Doesn't matter, scum. You're all beneath us." Xanxus said it matter-of-factly. He was extremely proud of the rumors about us being a power couple or an invincible duo or whatnot. He never said it directly but he knows we could never lose in a two on two to anyone and that's become his pride.
"Honestly, even if Kyoya and Dino paired up, I don't think they could beat us." I'm just as bad. I brag about this at every chance I get. I'm so proud that the person I ended up with values strength and dominance as much as I do, "Like the time you and I trashed Reborn and Sawada at Dino's afterparty."
Considering Sawada was dead-drunk, we shouldn't be too proud of ourselves for that one but any victory over Reborn is a victory to be proud of in my book. Amused and slightly aroused as he always was after fighting, he leaned down for a kiss he never got.
An explosion went off, making us push away from each other.
"Milady, your orders?" Alpha growled low, weapons drawn and his allies gathered up for me.
I hummed, already taking up my weapons. I had barely heard him over the thumping of my heart in response to the battle-crazed grin taking hold of Xanxus' features. Entranced by the power rolling off him in waves, I almost forgot to answer the question. Almost.
I turned, eyes sweeping over Yamamoto, Dino, and Kyoya in turn. They looked like they were ready to fight too but they were all tied down by responsibilities. The responsibilities that come with loving an herbivore weighed them down, making them hesitant.
"Be grateful, unfortunate ones." I grinned when they turned back to stare at me in surprise and wonder, "Alpha, make protecting these three your top priority. Sofia is free to fight at Squalo-senpai's side and Volore will lead Koge inside to rescue the rest of the herbivores. If you find Julianno, tell him to help but he's probably with Luss."
The boss was already moving forward, ready to display all the strength I fell in love with. Not to be left behind, I rushed up behind him. I heard Dino and Yamamoto laughing as their lovers were taken off their hands, telling each other how long it had been since their last big fight. Kyoya was already running forward to lead our charge but he thanked me by running a gentle hand across my head as he went by.
I felt a rush of energy pulsing through the area many times over as everyone possible of activating Cambio Forma did so all at once. Allies all around, I felt a sense of calm. Even in the heat of battle I felt safe knowing the strongest people in the world were at my side tonight.
As the battle raged on, I turned and caught a glimpse of the boss' thrilled expression. His dream to make the Vongola Family the strongest in the world had come true.
Midair, I slapped high five with Sawada and we exchanged encouraging grins.
Under the cover of Gokudera's explosive Storm Flames, I felled a dozen opponents in one swoop.
Swallow soaring above my head and dog running beneath my torso, the shadow of my wings drew attention away from Yamamoto who struck with the silence of a natural born hitman. Two men fell-not dead but as close as it would get considering Yamamoto was the one who struck them.
Chrome and Mukuro looked up and smiled as I dropped a corpse at their feet. He was the man who was aiming at them from afar while they were distracted in the midst of their illusions. In exchange, the fountain twisted and "ate up" two men who had their guns aimed at my head. The illusion fell away and the two men laid incapacitated.
Sasagawa and Lambo threw up their fists when my metal feathers rained down, piercing their opponents for them.
Kyoya's tonfas slammed someone's face in and then another and another. He turned on an opponent who had taken his back only to find them already falling, crucified to the floor by sharp plumage. I grinned down at him and he smirked up at me. Neither of us really needed help but we were in it together.
Everything was so bright here. I felt a little out of place. I turned, returning to the allies I loved the most. I didn't even have to look. I shot up to the rooftop, slamming my knee into the face of a sniper who looked like he had seen a demon. He went sailing down into the crowd where I heard the telltale scream of a man being burnt black.
Levi scoffed as we made eye contact, the parabolas around him had just folded as the man was burnt to a crisp. He shooed me away like a fly and I just laughed at him.
I dropped to ground level, surprising two more assailants. I sent them soaring through a bunch of wires preset by Belphegor who was laughing like a maniac as if he had predicted my moves in advance and set it up just for a combo play.
I turned as a half-conscious man came flying towards me. I put up my fist and he slammed into it all on his own. The body fell to the floor, neck twisted from the force. I smirked across the way at Lussuria who blew me a kiss as if to say he knew I would react. I took to the sky once more.
Cloaked by a flock of faux-crows and illusionary bats, I was able to safely rise without being shot. Mammon and Flan were repaid with two corpses falling off the roof.
The enemy didn't have enough snipers left for me to be satisfied but I took care of all of them before rejoining Squalo-senpai. Squalo reacted to my presence more than anything, herding two fleeing enemies in my direction like they were nothing more than cattle. I dropped down, heel smashing into one's skull. The other screamed and fell backwards on his ass as he tried to avoid crashing into my metal wings.
Squalo beheaded him in one swoop. We grinned at each other, laughing when Sofia screeched as us in jealousy. We spun around each other. He killed the one aiming for my back and I killed the one aiming for his and we laughed a second time at his lover's expense.
We both turned in surprise as a bomb came falling from the sky, dropped by something resembling a military fighter jet. There was nothing to worry about. A giant blast of Xanxus' Flames of Wrath had the bomb exploding before it fell close enough to us to do any damage.
Someone exclaimed in pure fear, "It almost looked like someone had taken a flamethrower to the night sky."
Idiot. That flamethrower is the night sky. He's just a little agitated that's all.
I turned, spreading my wings and giving them a hard flap. A spray of razor sharp, metal feathers went sailing through the air toward him. Boss trusted me, freezing on the spot as my assault narrowly missed cutting him and stabbed into the assailant aiming at his backside.
We stared at each other for a moment, a shared thought passing through us at the same time, I'm fucking you when we get home.
Shuddering excitedly, we proceeded to decimate the rest of our enemies in ten minutes flat. To all those we killed without batting an eye, I'm not sorry at all.
And this is the last update for this one. Thank you all for sticking with me through the whole story. As I did on Life is a Big Mess, I'll update one more time here when the first chapter for Squalo's story is uploaded.