BICHOTA (KAROL G)
The soap opera awards are in LA and I have a week of shifts that I can't miss, so Quinn leaves me reluctantly the second day of my 48 hour shift.
She stops by the hospital when I'm on my way back from a really long surgery. My back is aching and my head is hurting like a motherfucker.
Felo kicked me out once I was done suturing an artery, insisting he'd close.
Quinn found me, asleep in the staff lounge, my head pressed to a table with an apple still in my hand.
She nudged me and I woke up with my head feeling worse.
But then I saw her and all of that felt distant.
"Hey." I said, feeling my lips turn into a smile without my prodding.
She shook a bag in my face and my smile turned to a grin.
"I really want you to eat better, especially as a heart surgeon but I figured you'd need some comfort food. Malted black and pink milkshake for you too, princess."
"Thank you, Q ball."
She scowled at the name but still kissed me.
When she actually sat down with me and pulled her chair closer, I felt like my security blanket had arrived.
"I love you." She said, then kissed my shoulder before taking a sip of my milkshake.
"I love you too." I said back and then tore into my food.
After I finished my food, feeling way too exhausted for anything else, I yanked Q into the rest lounge and pressed my body against hers.
She gripped my ass.
"Me gusta." She muttered in the whitest voice I had ever heard.
"I just know you do but you still can't have my ass, Q. I don't know what freaky shit you did with my sister but I'm not into it."
"That's not what B said." She muttered and then attempted to kiss my lips but I pulled back.
"Say what?"
"Our talk the other day, she told me that you liked to take it up the ass...all the time."
"She didn't say that." I insisted.
"She did among other things. Apparently it is very important to her that you are getting fucked correctly and she says she's the foremost authority on all things Santana Lopez and that you very much like it up the ass."
I could feel the heat in my cheeks and buried my face against her shoulder.
"That's so fucked." I muttered.
"What's fucked is that you won't let me go there."
"Aren't you the celibacy club president?" I said.
"Doesn't mean that I wasn't also rubbing it out in my bedroom while looking up all the positions."
I yawned and curled against her, knowing I still had 24 hours here and probably should be sleeping, not talking about raunchy sex.
"I have no words."
"That's okay, baby, you will when I'm finally back."
"Back?" I asked, forgetting about her trip.
"Remember I'm leaving for L.A. today, I won't be back for a week. There's a lot of press to do before the awards."
"Oh."
"Your sister is in town if you get lonely."
"So is B." I mumbled.
"Are you saying that so I won't leave?" She growled.
"Maybe."
Why lie?
I was needy and had separation anxiety like crazy, she should be used to it by now.
After shutting out the world, including Britt for so long, I'd learned to be alone.
I had gotten used to it up until the last month with Quinn.
Everyday when I wasn't at work, I was coming home to her warm body in my bed loving up on me.
Now though, after two days in a hospital, my body feeling hollowed out...my empty apartment felt like a time out.
I still had six days to myself and that exact amount of days off.
There was only so much studying I could do.
So on the third day, after doing all scraps of laundry and scrubbing the apartment down, I was beyond lonely and exhausted of using a vibrator to get off.
I got desperate for any kind of release or at the very least attention.
That's how I got stuck in an inevitable situation.
I raised my arm as I grinded back against the body circling my waist.
The music was louder than my thoughts as I sweated out all my stress.
"I need a drink." I muttered back.
"Okay, I'll grab you one. Lots of ice, right?"
"Mmmhmm."
"Are you going to stay on the dance floor?"
"Yes!"
She left me there and I just melted into the next body, bouncing to the beat.
When I felt a poke coming through against my ass, I pulled away.
"Watch it!" I growled at the guy and he threw up his hands.
"You just have a great ass."
"So I've heard." I grumbled and then moved over to a pack of girls who were way less likely to be poking me with their dick.
By the time that Britt caught back up with me, I had a girl grinding against my ass and another pressing her breasts against mine.
Talk about a release.
But of course, my ex-wife was a cockblock.
She danced her way in between me and the girl's breasts.
"Hater." I grumbled, reaching for the glass in her hand.
She sipped it first and then shook her head before handing me the other glass.
I drank the ginger ale down in one long gulp before shoving the glass back at her.
"More." I said and she glared.
"You just want to go back to grinding."
"I do...so leave me to it." I waved her away and hated the way her face dropped.
I had invited her dancing and now I was brushing her off.
Blame it on the hormones.
I went on like that for three more nights, dragging Britt out with me until the last night when she blew me off.
"You won't dance with me, so no. I'm not going."
"Fine. I'll go by myself."
"In your condition?"
"Yes. I'll be fine."
"Promise you'll call me after?"
"Maybe."
"Santana, please?"
"Fine."
But I didn't call.
I just danced until last call, until my mind was empty and those dreams walking by the lake with Mami were now a thing of the past.
When I got home, the sun was rising and I stank to the high heavens.
I felt lethargic as I tried and failed to get my keys in the door several times.
But then it swung open and I jumped back.
"Q?" I said, my throat raw from all the whooping I'd been doing for five hours straight.
"Where were you?"
"Out." I said and then pushed past her into the apartment.
"You look like a prostitute." She said, her voice deadpan and devoid of any emotion.
"Thanks, baby, it's good to see you too." I stripped off my clothes as I made my way to the bathroom without looking back.
Britt would have chased after me and bogarted my shower but Quinn wasn't Brittany.
Instead, she picked up my clothes and let me have time to myself.
Which wasn't exactly what I needed after having it for a week.
I was in my feelings majorly.
And I wasn't sure how to get over myself.
I bit into my lip as I second guessed myself...would she want to?
Was she mad at me?
But I couldn't chicken out...not now.
I grabbed what I needed and walked into the bedroom.
Quinn sat in the bed, a book in her hand and her glasses on.
"Hey." I said and she looked up at me...then down at my hands.
"What's all that?"
I dropped the stuff in her lap and then twisted my hands in front of me.
"Truth is, Britt's the only person to ever do that to me. It's super intimate and is only something I need when I'm feeling super lonely and stuck in my head."
"Like now?" She asked as she fingered the strap on.
"Yes...would you...please? Just be...gentle, you know?"
"Are you sure?"
"Please?"
Giving over this bit of myself to Q was kind of a big deal.
Or at least, I had worked myself up to believe that until she was holding me in her arms and pushing into me.
Her kisses were soft and she kept saying sweet things in my ear.
It was way different than Britt just going ham on my ass.
"Are you okay?" She asked me when I shook in her arms.
"Yessss."
"Do you need me to go harder?"
"No...this...fuck...is perfect. Hold me tighter." I whimpered and she shifted so I was basically just sitting in her lap, my legs dangling off the side of the bed with hers. If we weren't us, ex-cheerleaders who were forced to our physical limits for years on end, the position would have been uncomfortable.
But we were Quinntana.
One of her arms loosened and her fingers sunk into me and I threw my head back on her shoulder. She sucked on my neck and I swear I could feel her everywhere.
"I dreamt of having you at my mercy like this for years...every time you got smart with me...or tried to dominate me...this was all...I...wanted...you okay, S?"
Her fingers thrusted into me as she spoke and I was just a mess of moans and swears.
"Fuck...yes...yes...yes...yes...Q...yes!"
I came so hard and when I did, she flipped me over so I was on my elbows over the edge of the bed.
And then she went harder...still slow just harder thrust and I was gripping the sheets.
"B told me...you were grinding on other girls...show me."
"Huh?"
"Dance, S...show me how you dance."
I groaned as I began to move back against her, controlling the angle and hardness that she was going at me with.
"Oh God!" I screamed as I came again.
This time though, she pulled out of me and kissed my shoulder before leaving me laying there, used up like the prostitute she had called me earlier.
And now I felt like one.
I began to cry again and felt pathetic until she was wiping me down with a warm cloth.
Humming to me as I kept sniffling.
Whatever hormonal, grieving clusterfuck I was going through, Q seemed to be able to handle with ease.
How had I not ended up with her from the beginning?