Love I'm Given (Ellie Goulding)

My last day of work coincides with the day that my divorce becomes final and I'm overwhelmed with emotion over it.

The last few weeks, Britt had been coming by every day when Quinn was at work or just to check in on me and bring me food.

If it wasn't for my ex-wife, I would not have been able to gain the weight I needed for my body to support two beings but she was feeding me because she knew as well as anyone, how much time could pass before I remembered to eat.

Sure I was eating a lot when I DID eat but that didn't mean that it came naturally.

Pregnancy doesn't solve a lifelong eating disorder and B knew that...she knew me.

It was at the end of my shift when I was walking out of the hospital, that I felt a pain in my side and ended up leaning up against the wall until I caught my breath.

"Hey, you okay?" B said as she leaned out the window of a cab.

"No."

"Do you need to go back inside and get checked out?"

"No...just tired."

"Have you eaten today?" She asked as she stepped out of the cab and pulled the door open.

I looked at her and thought about it.

And no...I hadn't.

"No...forgot."

"So you're probably dehydrated too?"

"Possibly."

"Let's get you some food. What do you want?"

"To not pass out." She looked at me for a moment and then nodded as she helped me into the cab.

I leaned against her and closed my eyes as the dizziness hit me.

"Did you do surgery like this?"

"Yeah...I get in a zone and can forget most things but what I'm doing...but then the air hit me and my body...crashed." I yawned.

"That's terrible."

"I know."

"Does Quinn know?"

"No...and you won't tell her."

"Nope but you will...don't go into another marriage carrying baggage...now that this one is done."

"It is?"

"Today...I was coming to get you to celebrate but then I saw you hugging the wall."

Britt has always been more clever than she seems, she was texting the whole time that I rested on her shoulder and then the cab stopped on a side street.

"Come on, she's waiting." She mumbled...helping me out of the car.

I felt so foggy as I let her take my hand and lead me into a restaurant.

We slid into a booth in the back and there sitting across from me was Quinn...looking worried.

And in front of me was a burger, fries, a salad, and a milkshake.

"Eat." She said, looking down at her phone with a glare before turning her glare on me.

So I did and the more I ate, the more I perked up.

"Thank you." I muttered when I was half through my burger.

"I need to tell you something." She said, once I was coherent.

"What?"

"I quit today, they kept jerking me around and I was fed up...your dad already got the pool house fixed up for us...him and your sisters will be here tomorrow. Are you ready?"

"To marry you? Hell yes."

"Can I come?" B asked and I nodded.

"You're our flower girl."

She fist pumped. "YES!"

The next day, we got married under a tree in central park, Quinn in tears as she held my hand.

"How do you feel?" I asked her after she slid a wedding band on my hand.

"Like your wife." She said.

"Damn right!"

Papi insisted that we take pictures on the bow bridge.

Then we went to a swanky place in midtown and ate so much that even I was stuffed.

"Now what?" Q asked me as if being a wife made her subservient in some way.

"What do you mean? We go home and fuck as Hot bitch and wife...then we pack our shit, ship it to Lima and we fly off to our new home while I'm still allowed to fly."

"You don't want to wait until they're born?"

"Do you want to take two newborns onto a plane, Q?"

"Touché."

"So first we have sex?" She said leaning into me and kissing my neck while we still sat in the restaurant in front of my family and B.

"Mmmhmm."

"Then we pack." Her hand slid beneath the table and up my skirt.

"And then we ship it."

I was getting wetter by the second.

"Yes." I whispered as her fingers traced my damp panties.

"Hey! Are you two getting frisky?" B said drawling attention to us.

"Not anymore." I growled.

"Good because I'm happy for you but since I've seen you naked I can just imagine what's happening."

Jealous Q glared at B.

"Hey, no more of thinking of my wife naked."

"Does that go for me too?" Celia said and I balked.

"On that note, Q, baby, I think it's time we left."

"Say less."

We don't go back to my place, instead we go to a hotel, get the honeymoon suite and immediately she's on her knees as I sit on the bed and spread my knees.

"Yes!"

She's working me up more than ever before, like she'd been saving a part of her sexual self for marriage.

And I was here for it 100%.

She was down there pressing her fingers into me and I was just moaning and shit...feeling like I was gonna lose my voice when there was a knock on the door.

I felt relieved when I got a moment to breathe.

She pushed in the room service cart and then was on me again.

"Good God, what are you doing to me?"

"Fucking all your old bitches away." She muttered as she nibbled on my neck.

I know she meant it as a joke but I stilled her hands.

"Hey." I said and waited for her to crawl up the bed and look me in the eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You have nothing to prove. My pussy is all yours until it's old and shriveled up." She made a face but it only made me grin. "I love you, Lucy Q. That's it...just you and yes I love watching you make out with B but that doesn't mean I want her more than you."

"You don't? So you're like opposed to a threesome, then?"

"No, never said that but that's a decision we'd make together...when my body is hot again and we've dumped the kids off on some unsuspecting relative."

"So I'm not a rebound?"

"Nope, Felo was my rebound and Sheedz for a time but you...I just couldn't keep existing while ignoring what I wanted all along."

"Me?"

"You."

The lovin with Q is sweeter after that, more enjoyable. Once she was done trying to compete with the ghosts of my past, I felt like I could let down my walls.

"You know how we want to be surprised about genders?"

"Yeah...open." Q says as she dangles a chocolate dipped strawberry above my lips. I suck it into my mouth with her finger tips. "What about it?"

"We should at least have names figured out. Like androgynous names that can go either way just in case their body doesn't match their insides."

"I never thought of that."

"Parents work hard to pick names...I'd be crushed if one of them is like fuck the name you chose, call me Hamlet or some shit."

"Hamlet, though?"

She smirks as she feeds me more strawberries and I wait for a response but I can tell what she really wants.

"What is it, Q ball?"

"I just...don't care about that right now. We have time. All I want is you panting and squirming like a bitch in heat."

"Oh."

And it's the wrong thing for her to say because all I hear is the words I don't care.

I shut down on her and just open my legs, smiling and closing my eyes.

"Suit yourself, but you'll have to do all the work."

"Don't I always." She jokes and it strikes another nerve.

I don't say anything in return, I just grind on her face until I climax.

She's the actress but I put on an Oscar worthy performance.

And she doesn't notice.

It strikes me then that we moved too fast.

We were the same age but losing Mami had aged me...so had being divorced.

Never in my life did I think that I could out mature Quinn, but the day had finally come.

And I felt bitter about it.

But she doesn't notice.

Until she does.

I'm laying in bed, my back to the room as I stare out over Manhattan. It's been 12 hours since I've spoken a word to my new wife and she's panicking.

How do I know she's panicking when she's been casual?

Because after I refuse to eat two meals in a row, I feel the familiar body of my ex-wife spooning me.

"What did you say to her, Q?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"This is the way she gets when you've blown her off in a sweet moment, so what did you say to her...think."

I'm crying now because it took Brittany all of five seconds to know what was wrong.

And now I was thinking I had made a mistake.

"You didn't make a mistake. I'm just your best friend. Like I said, foremost expert."

I sniffled as Quinn came into my line of sight and wiped my tears.

"I do care, S, I was just excited about being married. I have a whole list of names that I've been saving in my phone for months. Look."

She holds up her phone and sure enough she's got a list of names.

"Then why did you...and then with you doing all the work...it's hard for me."

"Well she's not wrong." B said, "You are a pillow princess."

Q glares at her in an attempt to defend me but I don't need defending from B. She gets ahead of herself and doesn't respect boundaries but she loves me.

We are a packaged deal.

"B...can you...like be quiet." I muttered and she goes to pull away but I stop her. "But don't like move because you are cool and I'm super hot."

So Britt stays while I look at the list and Quinn stays kneeling at my side.

"Forgive me for not knowing when to turn off my bitchiness?"

"I forgive you."

"Oh thank God."

"On one condition."

"Name it."

"You get poopy diaper duty for the whole first month."

She grimaces but then nods.

"You got it."

"And."

She rolls her eyes. "Yes?"

"I get a favor down the line and you have to say yes."

"Uh...anything?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Britt cackles and mutters loud enough for Q to hear, "You're so gonna get fucked in the ass."

"What?!"

"Oh nothing...who wants a Happy Meal?" She changes the subject but the damage is done.