"So how are you and the new boyfriend doing?" Mercedes asks, linking her arm with Kurt's as they walk through the mall.
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Oh come on, Kurt," she says, rolling her eyes, "we've done this before."
"No, really, he's not," Kurt argues, "we talked about it. We're taking it slow."
"You talked about it or you told him?" she asks skeptically, raising an eyebrow at him.
"It's not like that, Cedes, I- he said he was fine with that."
Mercedes sighs, drags him to a bench off to the side and sits him down. "Kurt, are you leading this boy on?"
"What? No," he says defensively, automatically.
"Do you like him?"
Kurt rolls his eyes. "Of course I like him, would I have been friends with him this long if I didn't?"
"Kurt," she says, and she's giving him that look, "you know what I mean."
Now it's Kurt's turn to sigh. "I don't know, I... I want to like him. And I like spending time with him, he's really great, but I just..."
"Blaine?" Her tone isn't accusatory, just sympathetic, sad.
"... Yeah."
"You can't just lead him on if you're not into him, Kurt," she says gently, placing a comforting hand on his arm.
"I'm not," he says, shaking his head. "It's not... that's not what this is. I'm just trying to be careful."
"Kurt, Chandler is a sweet guy. He deserves more than being your rebound."
Kurt stands, turns and looks at Mercedes. "I heard there's a sale at that shoe store you really like. We should go there."
"Kurt."
"This conversation is over. Are you coming to the shoe store?"
"Fine," she says, getting up and following as he starts down the hallway, "but this is not over."
He doesn't respond. He's not having this conversation right now. Just because it's not the same, just because he's not ready for Chandler to be his boyfriend, doesn't mean he's leading the other boy on. People take things slow all the time, right? But maybe that's the problem. Maybe it's too slow, maybe that's what's holding him back. He's just scared, but this is Chandler, there's nothing to be scared of. He just needs to let the other boy in.
Kurt and Chandler are curled up on Chandler's bed together watching Hairspray, Chandler's arm wrapped around Kurt's shoulders and Kurt's head resting on Chandler's chest. It's comfortable and warm and peaceful. But he keeps thinking about his conversation with Mercedes, about leading Chandler on, about what this thing between them is. And Chandler isn't pushing for anything more, because he's a nice guy, but he must want it... right? Blaine did. That's just what guys are like, isn't it? Even Karofsky, though not at all in the same category, just wanted... well, those things from him. Chandler was just too nice to ask, and maybe Mercedes was right, that wasn't really fair to him. Kurt tilts his head up and looks at Chandler, eyes focused on the movie. He shifts slightly in Chandler's arms, and when Chandler glances down with a small smile, Kurt brings their lips together. Chandler squeaks a little in surprise, but quickly melts into the kiss.
Kurt deepens the kiss, nips lightly at Chandler's lips making the other boy whimper as they part their lips and swirl their tongues together. Not breaking the kiss, Kurt shifts further, turning his body and rolling over Chandler, holding himself just above the other boy lying on the bed. Hovering above Chandler, he pulls back slightly, then brings his lips down to Chandler's neck, sucking and biting at the smooth skin just below his ear, and he feels a shiver course through the boy beneath him coupled with a breathy gasp. He rolls his hips down into the other boy's, groaning at the contact and hearing Chandler's moan in parallel.
But then Chandler is pushing up at his shoulders. "Wait, stop."
Kurt stops instantly. He pulls back, stares down at Chandler, wide eyed. "What? Did I do something wrong?"
"I just, I'm not..." Chandler starts, but then trails off as he moves to sit up. Kurt climbs off him and kneels further down the bed, looking at Chandler expectantly, because it certainly didn't sound like he did anything wrong, so he's not really sure what the problem is.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean-" he starts to apologize, but Chandler cuts him off.
"No, you didn't hurt me, I'm just not... I don't know if I'm ready to... you know, do that." Chandler is blushing a deep shade of red.
"Oh," Kurt says dumbly, "I just thought that you..."
"Thought that I what?" Chandler asks, furrowing his brow.
"I just, um... I thought you would... want to. Do more. Um, I just didn't want you to think that I... didn't... want to."
Chandler's eyes soften a little at that. "Did you think I... I'm not upset that we haven't done... much. Did I do something to make you think that?"
"No, it's just, Blaine... he was always ready before I was, and it just...," he trails off, not really sure where he's going with this.
"Kurt, we... you won't even let me be your boyfriend yet. I don't think we're ready for... well, much of anything, I guess."
"Well, maybe we should be. Boyfriends, I mean," Kurt says awkwardly.
Chandler frowns. "Do you just... are you just saying that because you want to do more?"
Kurt's eyes widen. "What? No! Of course not, that's not it at all, I don't even want..."
Chandler huffs a little, repositioning himself and leaning forward to look at Kurt. "Don't want what?"
Kurt looks off to the side, not able to bring himself to look Chandler in the eye. "I don't know what I want."
Chandler sighs, then leans back against the wall. "Is it Blaine?"
Kurt doesn't respond, just stares silently at the suddenly very interesting scuff on the wall, because this is not how this was supposed to go.
"Kurt," Chandler starts, voice serious, but also sad, and the tone sort of breaks Kurt's heart, "I really like you. Like, I really like you. But if you're not... If you don't feel the same way, if this is just about Blaine, then um... then I can't do this. Okay? So you need to tell me if you want this. Because if you do, I am all in, but if you don't, then I just... I can't."
They're silent for a long time, Chandler waiting patiently for Kurt to speak. Kurt has spent so much time thinking about himself; how this would help him move on from Blaine, how it would be good for him, how Chandler made him feel, and he'd never really stopped to think about how Chandler felt about any of this, and god, what an asshole he's been. And Mercedes had tried to tell him, but he just didn't want to hear it, didn't want to think about it, so he'd pushed her away and brushed it aside and just jumped in even further. Chandler is great, but it isn't the same, he's not Blaine, and as much as he hates to admit it, as much as it kills him, he's not over Blaine. And that's not fair to Chandler.
"I'm sorry." It's a whisper, but he's sure Chandler hears.
Chandler sighs again. "It's okay. I understand. I think... I kind of knew. I just... was hoping it wasn't, you know?"
"Yeah," Kurt breathes.
They sit there together in silence a while longer before Kurt speaks again. "Maybe I should go."
"Yeah," Chandler agrees quietly.
Kurt stands, collects his things in silence. He shoots Chandler a brief glance before he leaves, gives him a slight nod, and then he's gone, driving home by himself, alone, and this is just one more thing that he can't get right.