Disclaimer: I would beg pardon to veterans of the series reading this fanfic. I've never played the OG or any of it's prequels and sequels. Much of the lore of this series is still foreign to me so I might have this way off the mark in terms of accuracy. But then that's the beauty of a fan fiction. It can be anything you want it to be right? I've only just recently finished Final Fantasy VII Remake and working my way though hard mode when the idea of this came to me. I often struggle with thinking my ideas worthy of writing down much less finishing. So many of them lay dormant or forgotten but I made myself stick this one out. An accomplishment I'm proud of in itself even if the rest of this is a dumpster fire. This is a quick one shot designed mostly to get out my CloTi ship feelings since I've nowhere else to drop them. Also before we begin I'd like to point out the use of the word "stagger" near the end of this was an intentional pun.

Not again...

She'd known for several days he'd been trying to hide it. His attempts to cover it up might be convincing enough to Barrett or the others, but not her. Cloud was an outright fool if he thought for one second he was pulling anything over her. She'd seen him struggling for a while now. Some days more so than others. It might come in the form of him suddenly slowing down in his reaction time mid fight. It might be in the moments he refused to make eye contact with anybody as if he was waiting for a shadow to pass. But it was most certainly when she'd find him fallen behind in their march across Midgar, grasping his head in his hands almost doubled over. She could see it each time with one look into his eyes. Behind those big beautiful mako tainted eyes of his, he was suffering. Her best friend since childhood was in pain.

Each previous attempt she had made to check up on his well being left her dismissed with a wave of his hand, declaring everything to be fine and that they should proceed on with their current mission. She could feel herself silently pleading with him all those times before, begging him in earnest to open up to her, to anybody if it couldn't be her. Yet, he remained as obstinate as ever. At this point she couldn't care less who he spoke to so long as he liberated himself from the burdens he seemed to carry. This wasn't the same boy she'd always known. Doubtless, his time in SOLDIER had taken a part of him with it. He now carried a weight unseen but felt by everyone around him. Felt by her. She knew it was tormenting him. She knew every night she woke from sleep to hear him calling Sephiroth's name, the fear drenching his voice as much as the cold sweat his clothes. Once he'd even called out her name in a restless fit of nightmares before his violent awakening, sword half drawn and hovering over her as she tried to rouse him from the terror in his mind. She worried for what he saw those nights. What would make him lose his normally calm demeanor so effortlessly? She tried to make herself accessible to him in those times. Lend him a sympathetic ear. But he would have none of it. She took his refusal as a sign he still wasn't up for it yet. He wasn't ready. But when would he be? Would he ever be? Even if the mako made him somehow emotionally invincible as well, she wasn't and she didn't know how much more she could take. So for both their sakes, she did the only thing she knew to do on those long sleepless nights. Distract him. Reminisce on the old days when everyday didn't feel like a war zone. When they still had hope for a bright and shining future in their grasp. When things weren't as nearly as complicated as they were now. When it was just good vs evil and not how many lives on both sides suffered and died in between it all. Those days always seemed to invoke a smile out of him. Even if it was only just a slight upturn of his lips. She held on to that memory of his smile. As if each one he gave her was the greatest treasure in all of Midgar.

But this time, this time seemed so much worse than all the previous bouts he had undergone. His hands were clinging to his head as if it was pounding in agony. He grunted though it as if it was nothing, scrambling to carry himself as proudly as every SOLIDER had been trained to do. Yet, it failed him. His once strong and steady walk was now the mere equivalent of a zombie's drift. Having held back all she could bear, Tifa ran up to him and placed a hand on his clammy shoulder. He felt cold as death. His once vibrant eyes seemed lifeless and stagnant. Fear blossomed in her chest as she tried to shake him out of his dark reverie.

"Cloud! Cloud what's happening to you?"

At each mention of his name he seemed to slowly come back to himself, as if she was placing an anchor for him to hold onto during the cataclysmic storm raging in his mind. She had always before been able to stand by his side and fight with him during the battles they faced. But this one left her feeling helpless to do anything. She called his name all the more, pleadingthat it might bring him back to her safe and sound once again.

"Tifa?", he asked in a whisper of recognition.

"It's me Cloud, it's Tifa." she answered in earnest placing a hand on his cheek, praying this dark fog now setteled on him would lift once again.

"Help," he murmured. "Help me."

His entire weight fell into her arms dropping them both heavily onto the ground. Thankfully, he'd only fell into unconsciousness and nothing more. She cradled his head in her lap, stroking his soft golden hair as the tears came flooding suddenly from her eyes. Why did men have to be so stubborn? Couldn't they see they weren't just hurting themselves with their willfulness? Everyone around them that cared for them suffered just as much when they kept their souls under lock and key. She knew she couldn't help him until he would let her, that it wasn't her place to butt into his life like that over something so clearly personal. But that soft cry for help, it shattered her into a million pieces. He was always so strong and stoic. So much so he could appear almost entirely unfeeling to the world and everyone in it if no one cared to look deeper than the surface. But he wasn't. He felt as much as anyone else in the world despite what others might believe. And now he lay in her arms as vulnerable as a ship lost in a tempest.

Luckily Barrett had been hanging back throughout the whole ordeal and was almost instantly at her side to help carry Cloud to a safer location. Barrett and Cloud both could be so much alike in many ways. Quick to bicker or show off but when it really mattered and you needed them, they were both at your side no matter what you were facing. The big guy might not show it so much but she could tell he was just as worried about Cloud as she was. She had to listen to him complain about what a pain Cloud always was or how "That Merc needed to lose a few pounds" the entire trek to safety. With each and every insult Barrett dished out about Cloud, Tifa knew Barrett's level of concern was rising by the hour just as her own.

They found a spot not too far from the road that seemed sheltered enough to harbour them from Shinra's forces though the night. They hadn't brought too much in the way of provisions: some materia to make a fire and just enough food to keep up their strength until they could get back to base. As Tifa got their food together, Barrett set Cloud down close to the campfire they had built.

"You think he'll be alright there?" she fretted. " It is a bit of a chilly night. I wish I had remembered to pack us a blanket or two."

"He'll be fine," Barrett said reassuringly. "Cloud's tough as nails. He'll pull though no problem."

"You're right," she said taking a bite of the food. "Thank you for helping earlier. I don't think I could've gotten him to safety without you."

"You know I always got your back, Tifa." Barrett reached out to feel the warmth of their small fire. "It's funny really. When I first met Cloud I didn't much care for him. But he got the job done. That's all we needed. And then we kept needing him. Mission after mission. I couldn't see it at first but I do now. He's a good guy deep down. That's why you like him so much."

The realization of Barrett's words suddenly dawned upon her, "What? No it's, it's not like that," she felt her face heating up suddenly despite the feeble distant warmth of the fire.

"Come on now Tifa. I've seen the way you look at him. It's not nothing. I've also seen how he's always right at your side the moment you need help. He tries to come of as some kinda tough punk but he's got a soft spot for you. Otherwise I think he'd have been long gone."

"I'm really worried about him. He's been going though something. But he won't tell anyone. I just, I just wish I could help him. Or anyone could help him. I hate seeing him like this."

"I know you do. You got a good heart. He'll say his piece when he's ready, don't you worry."

"Yeah, you're right," She cast her eyes in Cloud's direction. He was peaceful at least. His chest rising and falling in a gentle steady rhythm. The firelight seemed to soften his features, taking away the lines on his face born from the cares of his time in Shinra's hands. So much had changed since when they were children but his relaxed expression made him look just like the boy she had always known and teased.

"It's getting pretty late. Mind if I take first watch?" Barrett offered.

"Sounds good to me," she said. "It's been a long day."

"Ain't they all though?," Barrett chuckled. "See you in a few hours."

"Tifa?"

Her eyes snapped open instantly. She winced at the sudden awareness after having been in a dead sleep for the past couple of hours now. Barrett was squatted at her side with a grin on his face.

"Sorry to wake you but, I thought you'd want to know. Cloud's finally over his bad spell. He's outside at the entrance. Said he needed to get some air."

"That's great!" she sighed in relief. She stood up and was almost ready to head in his direction when she stopped herself. Unable to make herself go on she turned to Barrett.

"Do you think he wants company right now though?" she asked quietly, twisting her feet around to face each other in an awkward stance.

Barrett paused for a moment taking in Tifa's bashful stance stemmed from the prospect of checking in on Cloud. He face turned preoccupied as if trying to find the right words to say.

"I don't think he'd ever turn down a chance to see you Tifa. Go on now. It's my turn to sleep and I don't want to hear for either of ya'll until morning."

Tifa brightened at his jest. "Will do!," she exclaimed and headed toward the cave's entrance.

When she got to the entryway she saw him plainly up ahead. He was propped up against some old metal shipping crates, his arms crossed over his chest gazing into the vast industrial sky above them. She carefully approached him knowing there was no way she could ever slip up on him now. He was far too well trained to ever let anyone catch him off guard. Once he heard her footfalls he turned to face her, his expression that of surprise under the distant florescent lights.

"Hey there," she said as she come up beside him, placing herself against the crates. "Glad you're back with us again."

"Yeah, me too," he said looking down at the well worn grass at his feet.

"Feeling any better?," she asked unsure of how to continue their conversation.

"Yeah I think so. At least better than I was a few hours ago."

"You really had me worried there for a bit."

They both stayed silent for a while, opting to drink in the cool night air and the solace it brought that the once current danger had now long since passed.

"Cloud," Tifa petitioned apprehensively. "Are you...are you okay? I mean really okay? I know this has been going on for some time now. I didn't want to say anything, but this has gotten out of hand."

He remained silent, a thousand thoughts burning through his mind from the far off look in his eyes.

"Yeah," he said softly. "It has. I've been slowing us down I know-"

"No," Tifa interrupted. "No it's not like that. I don't care if you're slowing us down or not. I care….I care about you, Cloud." Once the words were out she could no longer hold herself back anymore. "There's something. Something inside. Hurting you. I want it to stop but I don't know how I can. I want to help you more than I can stand but you won't let anybody. Please," she implored reaching out to touch his arm, "Please, let me help you. Or if you can't trust me then Barrett, somebody," her words seeming to fade as her passion ebbed.

He turned to face her, a look of hurt etched into his features as he took her hand into his own. "It's not that I don't trust you. I do. With my life. I just..." he seemed at a loss for words and she waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. He looked at her with such tenderness as she had never seen before, as if he was deciding what truth to bestow her before speaking again. "I just didn't want to burden you. A lot happened when I worked for Shinra. Bad things. Things I can't figure out, can't remember. I didn't want to place all of that on you and make you carry it too. You're a light, Tifa. My light. One I never want to be the cause of going out."

Speechless, his words left her staggered

"Cloud," she said after some thought. "You know I'm strong. I can handle myself as well as anyone in battle."

He nodded in reply, colour seeming to come rushing to his face.

"Then you should know more than anyone. I won't break over this either. You're not going to hurt me Cloud. It's okay. I want to be by your side through this."

He looked long into her sparkling red eyes and she could feel an understanding pass between the two of them. He took a deep shuddering breath and said at last. "Alright."

And so he laid bare to her his heart.