Dancing
AN: First of all, I am so sorry I (once again) didn't respond to you, my incredibly awesome reviewers, in person. This time around, I will. Honest. That being said, I hope there's someone out there still interested in this. I know there's been some really huge gaps between chapters. I apologize. I write whenever my mental health is stable enough to allow it, but between bouts of serious illness and all the medications I am on, I'm either psychotic or a zombie 80% of the time. Hence why not much writing gets done. Also, this chapter may feel strange, poorly written, and disjointed. I apologize for that. Thankfully, I am moved, am able to be at home full-time, and have taken up yoga (which I swear is helping more than any of the plethora of drugs or doctors). I won't make any false promises about updating more frequently (because look how that turned out last time!), but I will promise you that I will try. I have this year to get healthy, and I feel like writing this is part of healing. So.... excuses, excuses. I'll stop now.
As always, THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to read and leave a review! Remember- reviews are fanfic crack and keep an author addicted to coming back for more! I love you guys for being patient with me and for putting up with my whining. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
The house I'd grown up in felt strangely empty. I stood in the doorway of my parents' room and watched the pale morning light filter through the curtains, highlighting the bare walls and empty spaces. There was nothing left of my parents in it anymore. Just a bed, a nightstand, and a lamp.
"Hey, B. You ready?" Embry asked me quietly as he tapped my shoulder gently. "Don't wanna rush you or anything, but Alice is already gonna rip us into little bitty pieces for being late..."
As if to emphasize his point, my phone started chiming out "White Rabbit", Alice's ringtone. Grimacing, I flipped it open, but my hello was cut short.
"Where the hell are you? Do I need to remind you that today is your mother's wedding day? And you, maid of honor, have important bridesmaid things to be doing?? Number one being getting your butt over here so I can get you dressed and ready?"
"Seriously, Alice. How long will it take me to put a dress on?" I couldn't resist asking. Her indignant snort made me smother a giggle.
"Just. Get. Here. Now! Or I swear I will dye your hair neon yellow and shave a smiley face into it!"
"Okay, okay! We're leaving right now. Calm down!" I laughed, rolling my eyes at a grinning Embry. Alice huffed angrily and hung up.
"So... why 'White Rabbit' for a ringtone?" he asked nonchalantly as he followed me down the stairs.
"That one's just for Alice. You know. 'Go ask Alice, I think she'll know'."
"Ah, I get it," he replied, then paused. "Hold up, you wasted time picking ringtones for everybody?"
I scowled at him, defensive. "It wasn't a waste of time. I just like knowing who's calling before I answer."
"That's what the little display thing with the name on it is for, isn't it?" Embry asked, grinning broadly. I stuck my tongue out at him and headed out to his old, beat-up Ford.
"Hey, c'mon, B. I'm just teasing you!" he insisted, sliding into the driver's seat next to me. "So... what're some of your other ones?"
I flicked a quick, annoyed glance at him, but he was smiling that big, sweet, goofy grin at me that always made me forget why I was ticked off in the first place. I scrunched up my nose to keep from smiling back and sighed.
"Just, you know, obvious ones. 'Material Girl' for Rose, 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' for Emmett... things like that."
"Ah," Embry replied with an amused grin. I didn't say anything else, and it seemed like he'd dropped the subject as we sped out of La Push towards the Cullen house.
"Sexy booooy..... Sexy booooooy...."
Holy shit! Purple-faced, I scrambled for my cell phone and stabbed at the 'reject' button.
"What the hell are you calling me for, Tank? I'm sitting right here!" I huffed, attempting to sound irritated but merely coming off as incredibly mortified.
"I just wanted to know what my ringtone was," he replied innocently, then flashed a cheeky grin at me. "So... you think I'm sexy, huh?"
"What? No! That's not- I mean- I don't-" I spluttered as my face took on the same color and brightness of a stop light.
Embry cut me off, flexing his bicep. "Not that I can blame you. I think I'm pretty damn sexy, too."
"I love modesty in a man," I joked back with a roll of my eyes.
There was no more time for conversation, though, since Alice was running full-speed toward the car as we pulled up the Cullen driveway. She very nearly tore the passenger side door clean off when she yanked it open.
"Hey, hey! Careful with my baby!" Embry protested while Alice pulled me out of the car with the same amount of force.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to damage my model," she told him breezily as she hauled me swiftly up the steps.
"I meant the car," he called stiffly, and I caught a glimpse of his red ears when Alice spun us around to face him.
"Sure you did. Go help the rest of the boys finish setting up and then get dressed yourself. I want everything ready an hour before the ceremony for pictures!"
If he answered her, I missed it as I was propelled at super-human speeds through the house to Alice's private salon. By now I was fairly used to her ruthless make-over methods and spent the next hour or so resisting as little as possible while she transformed me. Naturally, little Nessie sat and watched everything, chattering away excitedly to anyone who would listen. She looked unbelievably adorable in her frilly, white flowergirl dress and a wreath of flowers on top of her bronze ringlets.
When I was finally made-up to Alice's standards and Bella, the only other bridesmaid, had joined us, Alice brought out our dresses. Couture, of course, by some up-and-coming designer, in a gorgeous shade of sage green. The style was plain and reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe's white standing-on-the-air-vent dress.
"Always trying to show off the cleavage," I mock-complained as Bella and I looked ourselves over in the mirror.
"Hey, if you've got 'em, flaunt 'em," Alice replied lightly, sliding in-between us to wrap her small arms around our waists and give us both a squeeze. "I love having beautiful sisters to dress up. Just wait 'til your mom sees you, Leah!"
"Yeah- where is Mom, anyway?" I asked. "Shouldn't you have spent the time you wasted on me primping her?"
"Your mother," Alice ground out, looking thoroughly disgruntled, "is quite possibly the most stubborn woman in the entire world."
"Didn't let you have your way with your make over, huh?" Bella asked, smirking.
"No! She's happy with her dress, she let me do her hair, but that's it!"
I had to laugh at the pout on her face. "Sounds like my mom. So... where'd she go after running away from you?"
"She's down in the kitchen with Esme," Alice groaned, rolling her eyes. "Making lunch for everybody."
"Definitely perfect for Charlie," Bella stated with a satisfied nod as I grinned.
"Right. Well, I'll just head down and see if they need any help."
"Not without me, you don't!" Rose piped up from the doorway. She looked absolutely perfect, as usual, in a fitted black gown that looked like she took it straight off of Audry Hepburn's back in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. Except that she had more curves to fill it out.
"I just got the boys all dressed up, and I am not missing out on your face when you see Embry," she whispered as we headed down the stairs arm in arm.
"Wha- why?" I stuttered, my face turning red despite my concentrated effort to look completely nonchalant. Truth was, I'd been secretly daydreaming about seeing Embry all dressed up and studly for the last week. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and gave me a look that screamed 'you ain't foolin' nobody, girl!'.
At the bottom of the stairs, Nessie wormed her way between the two of us and took our hands. Her cherubic face was puckered up in consternation as she studied first my face and then Rosalie's.
"What's the matter, sweetie?" Rose finally asked after she'd done that several times.
"I can't decide who's prettier," she admitted, sounding upset. "You aren't going to be angry with me, are you Auntie Rose?"
Ooooh, boy. I highly doubted anyone had even come close to comparing Rosalie with anyone else since she'd been, uh, dead. "Thanks, Nessie. Really. But everybody knows your Aunt Rose is the most beautiful," I broke in hastily.
"No... you look like twin angels. Just one's dark and one's light," Nessie insisted stubbornly, chewing on her bottom lip.
Rosalie looked me over with a half-smile slowly curling her mouth up at the sides. "Twins, huh? Chocolate and Vanilla..."
"So, you're not mad?" Nessie asked cautiously as she watched the two of us grin at each other.
"Of course not, baby! As long as you think us twins are the prettiest ladies in the world, that is."
Nessie giggled happily as Rose swept her up into her arms and tickled her. "Are we gonna go show Embry how pretty Auntie Leah is? 'Cause it's funny when he gets bug-eyed and Uncle Seth has to hit him so he stops staring."
"That doesn't happen!" I protested hotly, and scowled at them giggling madly to each other. For reply, Nessie reached over and touched my face, showing me an exact replay of what she'd described. I thought my head was going to pop off from all the extra blood rushing into my face. Scowling, I stalked off toward the kitchen, leaving them still laughing behind me. Unfortunately for me, my dramatic exit was ruined by Embry coming in through the front door, followed by the rest of the boys. Good god, was I living in a bad comedy sitcom?
But, holy hannah, even my daydream Embry had nothing on the piece of male perfection standing in front of me. Seriously, how could he possibly look better in that suit than he did dripping wet in swimtrunks? I didn't have an answer for that, but lordy lord, did he ever!
Checking to make sure my mouth was closed and I didn't have drool dripping off of my chin, I did my best to paste a casual smile on my face. And to stop staring. Why was Seth standing there behind Embry when I needed him behind me for a quick reality-check whack or two?
"Wow. Tank. Formal looks good on you," I managed to get out finally. He just stared back at me until Seth gave him a discreet kick on the back of his leg. I refused to acknowledge the fits of giggles coming from behind me.
"Yeah. Good. You, too," he replied quickly in a weird, squeaky-sounding voice. "That's a pretty girl. Dress. I meant dress."
More giggles. I suddenly became aware of our audience of very amused looking Cullen and Pack boys standing just behind him in the doorway, and once again felt a heavy blush working it's way up from my collarbones. Jeez, if I kept this up, I was going to spend the day looking more like a Christmas ornament in my green dress than a Maid of Honor.
"Right. Well. See you later," I told him swiftly, abruptly turning on my heel to escape into the kitchen. There was a second of scuffling behind me, and I caught Seth's hissed whisper just before the kitchen door swung shut behind me.
"God, man. That's my sister."
It was easy to avoid any awkward run-ins after that, since Alice kept the boys busy with last minute details, and my mom used me as a human shield to keep the vamp's repeated make-over attempts at bay. Jasper hovered around in the corners, and I had to wonder what Alice had bargained with to get him to discreetely keep everyone calm and pleasantly happy doing whatever she demanded of them.
Personally, I thought the Mojo Master should've been concentrating more on keeping Alice in check, but maybe he'd learned long ago not to even bother trying. The house was so full of flowers and trailing greenery that it looked like a botanical garden had exploded. The grey, rainy skies outside only made things even prettier, since Alice had had the boys busy stringing tiny, twinkling lights discreetely through all the plants until it looked like everything was glittering. Every time I tried to sit down, she popped up out of nowhere and yanked me back to my feet, muttering about wrinkles. She even tried to refuse to let Mom or I eat any lunch for fear we'd spill something on ourselves before the photographers arrived, but one teensy threat about heading back to the rez until it was time for the ceremony made her back off fast.
It was a huge relief when she and Bella disappeared to go get Charlie. I snagged another plate piled high with food from a beaming Esme and tried to make myself as tiny as possible in a corner of the kitchen. Which, being nearly six feet tall, was not exactly easy.
Embry wandered in looking for more food, spotted me trying to blend into the wall, and headed straight over to me. He snagged a sandwich from my plate and bit off half of it before I had time to protest.
"You know, there's plenty of food. You don't have to go stealing mine," I griped half-heartedly as he grinned at me. I dropped my voice to a low, conspiratal whisper. "So... everything set for tonight?"
He swallowed and nodded. "Yep. It's a go. And Edward's promised not to say anything as long as he and Bella aren't included."
"Good. What about Jasper?"
"Too busy dealing with all the crazy emotion to pick up on anything," Embry replied, shrugging. "You realize they're gonna wanna kill us for this."
I grinned evilly. "Yep. Just make sure you catch it all on video."
"Why me? This was your idea!"
"Because I can't exactly run in these shoes," I reasoned, gesturing at my unbelievably high Christian Louboutin heels.
"Good point," Embry conceded after staring at them for a few moments.
Both of us jumped at the bang of the front door being flung wildly open, signaling the return of Alice. Groaning, I hastily shoved my still regrettably-full plate at Embry before she could walk in and catch me with it. No need to give her something else to throw a fit over.
A pained, harrassed- looking Charlie snuck through the kitchen door and sunk down on a stool with a weary sigh. Embry and I exchanged a lightening quick, amused look and headed over towards him.
"Hey, Charlie. How you holding up?" I aked sympathetically. The poor man looked like he'd had the life wrung out of him.
He shook his head mournfully. "This is worse than Bella's wedding. Why'd Sue agree to all this?"
"Don't think she had much of a choice, really," I replied, pulling out a stool for myself, and all three of us sighed. I should have known better than to try to sit down. The deranged pixie herself burst through the door just as my butt was hovering an inch above the seat, and my eardrums popped painfully with her high-pitched shriek.
"Leah! What are you doing? The photographers are going to be here in exactly seven minutes!" I jumped guiltily back to my feet as the miniature vampire stomped toward me and grabbed my arm. Charlie visibly quailed when she turned to him. "I know you and Sue don't care about seeing each other before the ceremony, but I do. It's bad luck. So you just go with Embry and stay out of the way until it's time for the guy pictures, okay?"
Charlie nodded mutely, and Embry gave me a sympathetic, encouraging grin as Alice dragged me out of the kitchen. He looked so darn adorably comical doing that I had to stifle a giggle.
Posing for pictures was actually kind of fun, since Alice had hired what I could only guess was a professional crew from a high-end photography studio. Her justification, when my mother threatened to walk out, was that they were there to do family photos as well, and it would be the first professional pictures done of Reneesme. Rosalie and I had a blast commandering one of the photographers and goofing off posing like professional models. That is, until we got a lecture from Carlisle about not drawing attention to our 'inhumanly perfection', which I found absolutely absurd.
The wedding itself was exactly what weddings should be: short and to the point. And, being as there was only Billy and the Denali coven as guests besides the Cullens and the Pack, it was also incredibly informal. Nessie glowed with excitement as she very carefully tossed scented flower petals down the aisle in front of my mother, and everybody laughed when she hugged Charlie and whispered a conspiratal 'good luck' to him. A few short minutes later, he was officially my new step-father, complete with Emmett loudly insisting that he kiss the bride.
Two thousand more pictures and several hours later, everybody loaded into their respective vehicles to follow the bride and groom to the reception. Everybody except for Nessie and Jake, that is. She was a lot less broken-hearted about it than I thought she'd be, but after Carlisle explained why she couldn't meet any humans until she'd finished growing and Jake had promised that they could stay up doing whatever she wanted, she accepted happily enough.
If I'd thought Alice had outdone herself with the wedding itself, it had nothing on the party she'd planned. An enormous tent was set up in Fork's one and only decent park and picnic area, close by the fishing pond. It looked like something straight out of one of those bridal magazines that show impossibly over-the-top receptions very few people could even dream of having. Both Bella and my mom looked ready to spontaneously combust from rage and embarrassment when it became obvious that every single person in Forks and possibly everyone in La Push had been invited. Alice was supremely unconcerned by the hot, fiery death in their eyes- or perhaps oblivious to it- and excitedly bounced from table to table, dragging an unwilling Bella with her.
"Do you think Alice realizes how much shit she's in for pulling this?" Embry whispered to me with a huge grin. I shrugged and wrinkled up my nose.
"Well, she hasn't gotten any visions of being torn limb from limb, so my guess is she's pretty safe."
He smirked and held up the little video camera. "Not for long. Lemme just go have a word with our friendly DJ."
I laughed and watched him weave through the tables to the dance floor until I caught myself staring at his oh-so-fine backside. Damn, but suitpants did something for a man's butt. Shaking my head and telling myself firmly that a girl should not drool over her best friend's butt, I headed over to Rosalie and Emmett.
"Hey, lil' sister!" Emmett exclaimed as he threw an arm around my shoulder. "Man, I love that being official!"
"Except that it's not, technically," I replied teasingly. He pulled a face and moved to give me a noogie.
"Emmett Cullen. If you mess up Leah's hair, I swear on your Playstation 3, I will rip your arms off."
Emmett froze at the sound of Alice's venomous whisper, and she pried his arm off of my shoulder and pulled me away from him.
"Jeez, Leah. I can't leave you alone for two seconds before you find some way to wreck my makeover," she sighed, exasperated.
"What happened to Bella?" Rosalie asked.
Alice shrugged and pointed. "I left her over there, talking to Mike Newton and his parents."
"Seriously? That's just cruel."
"Well, somebody had to stop a certain neandrathal from damaging a perfect hair-do." She gave Emmett a hard glare before shrugging. "Besides, Edward's going to swoop in and save her in three, two, one... now."
We all watched as the bronze-haired vamp smoothly integrated himself into Bella and the Newton's conversation and politely rescued her.
"If I could have your attention, please!"
Everyone turned to look at the DJ standing on the stage, gesturing for quiet. Embry slid up beside me and winked as he discreetly aimed the video camera at Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice.
"In honor of the new Mrs. Swan, and as a tribute to her favorite musician, the late Michael Jackson, some of the guests have requested to do their rendition of his greatest song ever- 'Thriller'!!"
"Ugh. If I were human, I'd puke," Rosalie muttered.
"Who's gonna be the idiot doing that?" Alice snickered back. I couldn't help glancing at Embry, and he waggled his eyebrows just the tiniest bit at me.
Emmett looked surprised. "I didn't know your mom liked MJ, Leah. Hell, I thought she had better taste."
"Yeah, she's a closet freak," I replied, doing my best not to laugh.
"So please," the DJ continued, "Put your hands together for Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice Cullen!"
Alice really hadn't spared any expense getting the best crew to DJ this dance. Two of the workers immediately pinned the three of them in spotlights as the entire crowd began to cheer.
"Leah..." Rosalie hissed dangerously under her breath as Embry caught every hilarious moment on video.
"Payback's a bitch, huh?" I giggled. "You guys aren't the only ones who can pull a practical joke."
"Couldn't you at least have picked something else than 'Thriller?'" groaned Emmett, looking pained.
I grinned. "Nope. Blame Jake. He's the one who found out how much you all hated that song."
"That mutt's going to die. Painfully."
"I'm not doing this!" Alice whispered fiercely through the clenched teeth of her fake smile.
"Yes, you are. You can't disappoint Sue now, can you?" Embry replied cheerfully. All three of them glanced toward my laughing mother, then flashed us looks of murder.
"I get to be Michael," Emmett declared as they headed reluctantly for the dancefloor. I couldn't resist giving Embry a quick, victorious high-five.
An expectant hush fell over the crowd as the three unlucky vamps got themselves situated in front of the DJ's stand. Rose flashed me a 'you're dead!' signal, and the music started up.
The cheers were deafening, but I was giggling too hard to do anything but wipe my eyes and hold my stomach. Embry struggled to keep the camera steady, he was shaking so hard from laughing. I snuck a glance over at the rest of the Cullens and the Denali clan and laughed even harder at the looks on their faces. Jasper looked like he was in pain, but I guessed it was more from trying to hold in his chuckles than anything else. Alice would murder him if she caught him laughing. Esme, Carlisle, and Bella all stared in comical astonishment, caught somewhere between confusion and glee, while Edward tried hard to look convincingly surprised. Tayna and Kate were holding each other up, laughing helplessly.
Everybody hooted and hollered wildly when the music came to an end, and as expected, Emmett took his time bowing and soaking it up.
"You'd better get ready to run, Tank," I told him in an undertone as the three Dancing Vamps began to make their way through the crowd toward us. "Just get it across the border and then get back here and save me."
"Yeah. Good luck!" he replied, shooting me a grin before he disappeared quickly through the crowd.
"Oh, no you don't! Get back here, Embry Call!" Alice hissed and raced- human speed- after him. Emmett hooked an arm around my neck in a loose, but unbreakable, choke-hold to keep me from trying to slow her down, and I pouted in defeat.
"I congratulate you on a joke well played, lil' sister," he said laughingly. "But you do realize that Alice is going to catch him and destroy that camera, right?"
"Doesn't really matter. I'm sure somebody else here got it on video," I replied lightly. He and Rose groaned.
"You just had to pull your little joke in front of all these people, didn't you?" Rose muttered, but I could hear the hidden laughter in her voice.
I raised my eyebrows and grinned at her. "And you just had to make me wear that leopard-print bikini, didn't you?"
"Touche. We're even," she laughed. "For now, anyway. We've had a lot more years pulling practical jokes than you, and you're-"
She stopped in mid-sentence, all trace of amusement draining swiftly off her face to be replaced with faint hostility. I blinked at her, confused, before I realized that she was actually looking at something behind me.
"What? What's the matter?" I asked, and tried to swivel around to see what the problem was. Emmett's arm merely tightened, preventing me from being able to see anywhere but straight ahead.
"Hey, what the hell-"
"Let's head back to the house and check on Nessie and Jake, huh?" he interrupted me as he started to propel me forward.
"Not until you let go of me!" I protested hotly.
Rose exchanged a quick look with Emmett before taking my arm. "Trust me, Lee, you want to get out of here."
That threw me. I opened my mouth to ask yet again what was wrong when an altogether too familiar voice spoke up behind me.
"Hello, Leah."
Lord, I'd know that deep, gravelly tone anywhere. Mouth dry, I turned slowly around as Emmett loosened his arm but kept it flung over my shoulder in a protective big-brother fashion.
"Sam," I managed to get out after staring a moment at his face. "What are you doing here?"
He rubbed his hand over his short-cropped hair. "I know I wasn't exactly invited, but... I just wanted to show my support- my Pack's support- for Sue and Charlie."
"Really," I replied skeptically, raising an eyebrow. He shrugged.
"I know it may not seem like it, but most of us don't really agree with everything the elders are doing. They just don't understand that we're not... enemies anymore."
Rosalie gave a tiny, delicate snort that shouted her disdain for him and his little speech. Sam ignored her and looked directly at me with clear, honest eyes.
"I'm happy for your mom, Leah. Charlie's a good man, and Sue deserves some joy. I just wanted you- your Pack- to know that."
I looked at him, assessing his truthfulness, and his eyes never wavered from mine. This was a tiny bit of the Sam I used to know, the Sam who could look me in the face. I hadn't seen that Sam since he first began phasing.
"Thanks," I finally replied quietly. "That's really- it means a lot."
He smiled then, relieved, and the music changed to a slow one. He cocked an eyebrow and held a hand out to me.
"So... wanna dance? For old times' sake?"
Insensitive bastard. I had a moment's urge to slap that friendly smile right off his face, but I managed to reign it in. Did he not realize the fact that he'd ripped my heart out and stomped on it- with a girl I'd once called my sister? And now he wanted me to dance. 'For old times' sake'.
"Sure. Why not?" I heard myself saying, and wondered just when I'd morphed into a masochist.
Stepping out from under Emmett's arm, I let Sam lead me the few steps to the dance floor. His large hands were very light on my lower back as we swayed slowly about an arms length apart. It was so very different from the last time I'd danced with him, bodies pressed so close together you couldn't get a paper between us, that I had to swallow a bitter laugh. Odd how two people who had once been so perfectly in tune could become.... strangers.
I caught Rosalie and Emmett's watchful, wary eyes over Sam's shoulder and gave them a tiny, reassuring wave with my fingers. Rose merely crossed her arms tightly over her chest and glared darkly at the back of Sam's head.
"You really do like the Cullens, don't you," Sam suddenly said, breaking our stilted silence. I frowned.
"Yeah. I told you that before. They're family."
We'd rotated so that I could see the rest of the Cullens. Behind their carefully neutral faces, I could see their concern as they discreetly watched Sam and I circle the dance floor. As much as I hated that they knew what being around Sam could do to me, I couldn't help but feel a tiny, warm glow in the center of my chest from their reactions. Edward caught my eye, and I thought a loud and firm 'I can handle this'.
And I was handling it. Instead of the ripping pain and bitter resentment I'd expected, I only felt... sad. Sad for what could have been, sad for our lost closeness, and sad for the future I'd once planned out for us. But, strangely, it didn't hurt, at least, not in the stabbing, incapacitating way I'd become so accustomed to in the last few years. I caught Jasper's eye, suspicious that this new miracle was merely due to his Mojo skills, but he spread his hands and shook his head minutely.
"So, you're.... happy?" Sam spoke up, once again breaking the silence between us.
I looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since he'd walked out of my life. And yes, it was hard, and it still hurt in a sad, aching, sort of way, but I didn't feel like I was going to break into pieces. And I didn't feel like my world would end when he walked away. I felt... okay. Like I was finally figuring out that the flickering light at the end of my long, dark, tunnel meant that I was supposed to go forward.
"Yeah. I guess I am," I slowly replied. Or at least I'm getting there- I added mentally, and saw Edward grin over the top of Sam's shoulder.
"That's... good. I'm glad. Really."
I silenced the part of me that wanted to point out that it really wasn't any of his business and decided to take it in the spirit it was offered. Besides, I was distracted by the sight of Alice slipping back into the crowd, carrying Embry's camcorder and looking triumphant. Dammit. Now I was going to have to hunt down someone else's video of 'Thriller: Vamp Version'.
My eyes zeroed in on Embry's tall, broad form the moment he re-entered the tent, and I had to grin at the cute, dejected look on his face as he followed Alice to where Rose and Emmett were standing. They pointed in my direction, and I gave Embry a tiny wave as he turned to look at me. I wasn't even sure he saw it, because he was glaring at the back of Sam's head with an intense, black fury. Confused, I stared after him while he turned and stalked through the crowd and out of the tent. Sam said something to me, but it took several seconds before my brain even comprehended that he'd spoken. Blinking, I stepped back and away from his arms.
"Sorry. There's someone I've got to... talk to. You don't mind, right?" I asked him distractedly, craning my neck to see which direction Embry had left in. Sam frowned slightly as he looked over his shoulder in an attempt to figure out who I was talking about before he turned back to me with a confused smile.
"Sure, no problem. It was really good talking to you again, Leah," he said earnestly. I was grateful he didn't ask who I was running off to find.
"Yeah. It was..." It was what? Certainly not fun. It wasn't really even nice, to be completely honest. I licked my lips and tried again. "It was... interesting. And thanks again. For supporting Mom and Charlie."
I barely heard his reply, since I was already weaving my way through the crowd, and it felt good to be the one walking away without a backwards glance. Now I just wanted to find Embry and figure out once and for all what the hell was going.
I found him standing on the fishing dock, staring down into the dark water with hunched shoulders and his big hands shoved as deep as they would go into his pockets. The scowl on his face was as dark as the water, and he didn't bother to glance up at me when I'd finally clacked my way to his side in my ridiculous (but oh-so-fabulous) heels.
"What's with you, Tank?" I half-joked as I gave him a smack on the bicep. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to walk on grass in these shoes?"
"What the hell was Sam doing here?"
Okay, not exactly the reply I was expecting. "Uh, well, he said he just wanted to show his support for Mom and Charlie. I thought it was... nice of him."
He snorted. "Nice? Ha. Yeah, right. I bet you a hundred dollars Emily made him do it."
I studied the angry scowl on his face, confused. "Tank, I don't... I don't get it. Why do you hate Sam so much?"
He was silent for a long time- too long- staring out across the dark water. I bit at my bottom lip, worried that I'd inadvertantly stepped over some invisible line and touched on a forbidden subject. I opened my mouth to tell him to forget it, but he started speaking before I could make a sound.
"Remember how you used to make the Pack think about who my dad could be?"
A sick, slightly sour taste welled up from the back of my throat. "Yeah... that was really awful of me. I'm sor-"
"Don't worry about it, that's not what I meant," he interupted quickly, shaking his dark head back and forth with a quick, jerky movement. I frowned at him.
"Oh. Well, then..."
"I was never angry at you for that. I was angry at Sam."
"But what-?" I began, confused, then frowned heavily. "Look, Embry, it wasn't Sam's fault I was such a bitch. He's not responsible for my actions."
"No. But he's responsible for his," Embry replied, a hint of resentment beginning to color his voice. I stared at him, still frowning but completely confused where he was heading with this.
"Leah, Sam knew the whole time who my father was. We've both known since the first day I phased. He ordered me not to say anything. Not to let anyone realize what we knew."
Now I was completely dumbfounded. I had to swallow hard a few times before I could even frame a response. "But... why? Why would he..."
"He had his reasons. Not that he'd really explain them to me," he bit out bitterly. "But orders were orders, and it didn't matter what I thought about it. Hell, I thought someone would figure it out, especially with you bringing it up."
That sick, sour taste was back, one that I was starting to recognize as regret mixed with guilt. "Yeah... I should never have-"
"I was glad you made people think about it! I loved it when it was shoved in Sam's face. So don't apologize."
Embry stared out over the black water, and I stared at him. His shoulders were hunched up nearly to his ears, and his hands were shoved as deeply into his pockets as possible. I had a fleeting worry that he'd put his fists right through the seams. Silence stretched between us, and my stomach began to twist anxiously with a dim feeling of foreboding. Like I had already realized the answer to my next question but was still clinging to a tiny shred of hope that I was wrong.
"Tank. You and Sam... you're not- not brothers. Are you?"
He didn't answer me. He didn't have to. The way he wouldn't look at me said it all. I felt like throwing up. It seemed so glaringly obvious now; I couldn't fathom how any of us hadn't realized it sooner. There were so many little quirks, similar facial expressions... and Sam's strange over-concern for everything in Embry's life- the way he'd tried to keep Embry away from Jacob after the Packs split, how hard he'd tried to get him to come back to La Push... it all made sense now.
"Why didn't you tell anyone? Tell me?" I asked, meaning to sound angry, but my voice came out as a whisper.
Embry shrugged helplessly. "I couldn't. Not at first. And later, out of Sam's Pack, I just didn't think much about it." He sighed heavily. "And then I didn't want to."
I stood there, still staring at him, unable to come up with a way to respond. Tank, my Tank, was Sam's brother. And he'd known it the whole time and had never said a word. But did it really matter? It didn't- couldn't- change who Embry Call was as a person. Was I really willing to let this ruin one of the best things I'd ever been a part of?
Neither one of us had moved, but it felt like an enormous canyon had opened between us. A big part of me wanted to jump across it, but the rest of me was digging my heels into the ground.
"You should have said something," I finally stated, much more firmly than I'd expected. He winced, and the kamikaze part of me that wanted to jump nearly dragged me over the edge.
"I know. I just... didn't want you to hate me," he admitted, and there was a raw edge to his voice that physically hurt. "Guess I royally screwed that up."
Oh, lord. Kamikaze Leah was beginning to win out over Realistic Leah. What difference did it really make now that I knew he and Sam were related? Half the rez was related. I couldn't walk away from him, not after all those months of using him as a life-line to pull myself out of my living hell. I needed him. And dammit, a man should not be allowed to look so heartbreakingly dejected! Especially not when someone was struggling to figure out if they could hate said man or not. I had to stiffen my resolve when he finally looked up at me with his pained eyes.
"I'm sorry. I should've said something sooner. I just... I guess I was just afraid you'd never want anything to do with me again. That you'd hate me," he said honestly. "Still afraid of that, actually. Not that I could blame you..."
"I don't hate you," I blurted out before Rational Leah could get ahold of my tongue. A little bit of hope sparked in his dark eyes, and Kamikaze Leah cheered.
"You don't? You really mean it?" The dumbfounded relief in his voice was so evident I very nearly smiled at him. What the hell good would walking away from him do me, anyway?
"Embry. You're Sam's brother. Half-brother. What difference does that really make?" I asked him, though the question was partially directed at myself. "So you've got the same Sperm Donor. Who cares? That doesn't change who you are. And you are my Tank, right?"
The grin slowly spreading from ear to ear on his face was one of the most beautiful I'd ever seen.
"I'm definitely still mad at you, though," I added quickly, subdueing the mini-temper tantrum Rational Leah was throwing. Embry nodded, managing to look like a lost and beaten little puppy- damn him!- and I heard myself adding a hasty, "but only a little."
The grin crept back. "Totally understandable. Would a lifetime of servitude help?"
"You already did that one," I told him severely, frowning. "No... I think something more immediate would be better."
Now it was his turn to look confused. "Like what?" he asked hesitantly. "You're not going to make me go up on stage and sing or anything, are you?"
I shook my head and grinned. "No, although that would've been good, too. But I was thinking something more like this."
I shoved him, hard, catching him completely off-guard. He toppled over the edge of the dock, arms and legs waving wildly, and hit the water with an almighty splash. I doubled over laughing as he came spluttering back to the surface.
"Nice. Very nice. Am I forgiven now?" he managed to ask after he'd spit out a mouthful of pond water.
"Yep. Ah, that was good," I giggled. He waded back to the edge of the dock in the chest-deep water, grinning himself, and made a move as if to pull me down into the pond with him.
"Uh uh, mister. The dress! Respect the dress!" I shrieked and backed up swiftly. Unfortunately for me, he had very, very long arms. One hand snaked around my leg, and all I could do was pray my Christian Louboutin shoes wouldn't fall off as he yanked me over his head and into the water.
"Oooh, are you gonna get it now! Alice is going to kill you!" I sputtered the minute my head broke the surface.
"It's not my fault you fell in trying to help me back onto the dock," Embry innocently retorted, grinning boyishly.
"Oh, hell no. Alice is going to rip your head right off and use it for a soccer ball. You ruined my makeover."
He tilted his head, studying me. "Nah. You look good wet."
"Forget Alice. I'm going to kill you!" I snorted, and dove at him in an attempt to dunk him under the surface and drown him.
I didn't succeed. In fact, I got the distinct feeling he was pretending to be a whole lot weaker than he was just so I wouldn't be the one under water the whole time. Honestly, I didn't mind. The crazy, childish game of trying to dunk each other erased any last bit of space between us until we were just Tank and B-Wolf again, goofing off.
While I thanked heaven that Alice hadn't picked white for our dress color, I wished she'd picked a more sturdy material than the thin, silky kind. Sure, it looked great when I was dry, but cavorting around in a pond was a totally different matter. It stuck to me like a second layer of skin, and it sure as hell didn't leave much to the imagination. I could feel every rough inch of Embry's suit rubbing against me as we wrestled. And his hands- they might as well have been touching bare skin! They felt so damn good I forgot all about trying to dunk his head under the water.
It seemed like Embry did, too, because his hands came to rest on my hips at the same time as I stopped pushing on his shoulders to twine my arms around him instead. There was no time to think, just a whole lot of rapid-fire instinct and need.
I'd be a big fat liar if I said I'd never imagined how kissing Embry would feel. But I never expected it to actually feel like it did in my idle daydreams, because dreams are always perfect. So just imagine my mind-numbing shock when it dawned on me that kissing him felt exactly as I'd pictured it would.
It was the kind of kiss that makes you forget all about breathing until your survival instincts kick in just before you pass out. The kind that makes rational thought impossible because you're too busy drowning in feeling to form anything coherent. The kind where you forget your own name for a good thirty seconds after you finally stop for air. Yeah. That kind.
This was so not good.