Ummm… Hello? Anyone out there still reading this? Yeah… I suck. Sorry. I won't even give you my excuses, because who really gives a flying monkey about them?At any rate, I'm very, very sorry.

Forgive me? …No? Well, I don't blame you. Again, I suck.

If you're still reading this and still interested in this story, you deserve a medal and a parade and a smexy make-out session with the person of your choice.

Alright? Time for this bi-otch to shut up and deliver.

REVELATIONS

Rain. Steady, grey, depressing rain.

Wasn't rain on your wedding day supposed to be a bad omen? I contemplated feeling sorry for Emily as I watched the big, sullen drops slide down my bedroom window, but honestly, if that old wives' tale were true, almost every wedding held in La Push would be doomed. And with their perfect, imprinted love, a little bit of rain on Sam and Emily's wedding day wasn't going to make one bit of difference to their happiness.

The rain fit my mood, though. It drummed on the roof and echoed through my mostly empty house, almost drowning out the snoring of the Wolf boy sprawled out next to me on the bed. I wished it could drown out my thoughts. The chaotic jumble of memories and worries and wishes was enough to make me sick. The ugly orange and brown bridesmaid dress hanging on my closet door only made me feel more nauseous, so I stared resolutely out of the window at the steady splats of raindrops on the glass.

Ugh. The prospect of having to wear that thing out in public for all of La Push to see was downright horrifying.

My cell beeped, and I reached over to see a text message from Alice.

"Are you absolutely positive that I can't get you ready for the wedding? What if I wear a full hazmat suit or something? Pleasepleaseplease?"

I sighed. In an attempt to be super nice to Sam and the La Push Pack, all of us, including Jake, had stayed away from the Cullens for the last few days in order to eliminate the vampire smell for the wedding. And if Sam didn't appreciate the sacrifice, especially on Jake's part, to make things between our Packs as smooth as possible today, then I was going to make personally sure that he had to say 'I do' through a respirator.

"Sorry, Alice. I'll come over for a full spa-day asap, k?" I texted swiftly back. I'd barely hit the send button before I got another message, from Rose this time.

"Don't know why you're all being so nice. Glad it's raining. Hope that bitch falls in a mud puddle."

I grinned, my thumb tapping the letters quickly. "LOL. Too bad she's not as clutzy as Bella."

"Push her."

God, I loved how it took her less than three seconds to respond with that. Grinning, I tossed my phone back onto the floor, but the smile faded before I'd even sat back against the headboard and tucked my knees under my chin.

"You okay, B?"

Embry's deep voice rumbled quietly through my thoughts, and I looked down to see his serious, brown eyes contemplating me. I forced my lips into a smile, but it felt strained and half-hearted even to me, and I could tell he saw right through it.

"I'm fine. Totally fine," I answered him quickly, trying to convince both of us with my words.

One of Embry's eyebrows arched, and he just stared at me in silence. I sighed and turned my unseeing gaze back to the rain-drenched window again. Embry pushed himself up to sit facing me, and I could feel his eyes boring intently into me. I started to get that tingling sensation again in the pit of my stomach, but I sternly told myself to ignore it.

"Uh huh. You gonna tell me what's really bothering you?" Embry finally asked into the silence stretching between us, and I almost choked on my own tongue.

Um, yeah. No. I most definitely was not going to tell him what really was going on in my head. Didn't Embry realize that Sam and Emily, and their baby, and their wedding, were less of a problem for me right now than he was? That ever since those unbelievable moments in that dressing room and how he had held me afterwards, when I could barely think when Cyrus had invaded my home, I didn't know how I felt about him anymore or what it was I truly wanted from him? I'd managed to cut him off every time he'd tried to bring 'us' up ever since that day, but I didn't know how much longer I could keep it up.

I didn't even know what it was that I was so afraid would happen if we did talk about it.

The only thing I knew for certain when it came to Embry was that I couldn't stop thinking about kissing him again. I wanted a repeat of the dressing room make-out scene so badly, I physically ached. I wanted to feel his hands on me again. I wanted to see that wild need on his face again and know that I was the one who put it there.

In short, I wanted something I was not supposed to have.

But I couldn't tell Embry any of that without looking like a deranged creeper, and I was certain he already thought I had multiple personalities as it was, what with me practically ripping his clothes off one minute, then acting like it had never happened the next. No, what I needed was a nice, safe excuse for my current mood, and the wedding was a perfect one.

"It's just… today is going to be really hard," I answered him slowly, and really, it was the truth. It just wasn't the main thing that was bothering me.

But it seemed like that was the wrong thing for me to say. Not a muscle on Embry's face moved, but it was like shutters being closed suddenly over brightly-lit windows. He was still there, friendly and supportive, and willing to listen, but it was like he'd shut me out of himself. I'd seen that look before, whenever something I said or did reminded him of my feelings for Sam. My dead feelings for Sam. As much as I didn't understand it, the fact that Embry obviously still thought that I loved Sam hurt me so deeply, it was a physical ache in my chest.

"It's not the wedding. Or Sam and Emily," I tried to clarify. "I just don't want to see everyone's pity when they look at me. 'Oh, look at poor Leah. She must be so heartbroken, blah, blah, blah'. Especially when I don't need their pity! I don't care that Sam and Emily are getting married and are gonna live happily ever after with their dozens of fat babies. It doesn't matter- he doesn't matter to me anymore, and I-"

"You really mean that, don't you?" Embry broke in abruptly. The blank, shuttered look was gone, replaced by a look I couldn't define, and I scowled to hide my relief.

"Damn straight I do! I just-"

But I was cut off as his hot mouth suddenly crushed mine. I was too shocked to even comprehend what was happening for a few moments, but I found myself inexplicably on Embry's lap, pressed up against him and kissing him back for all I was worth. Days- weeks- of pent-up passion exploded, and I couldn't have stopped myself from responding to his urgent hands if I wanted to. Hell, if he stopped, I would have begged him shamelessly to keep going.

Embry didn't need much encouraging, though. His hands felt as desperate as mine, and when he pushed me back onto the bed, I had no arguments. Hot, calloused fingers found their way under the hem of my tanktop, and I squirmed with delight and impatience as he slowly worked his way higher.

Damn, but the man knew how to kiss! His lips broke away from mine, leaving me panting and shivering, to burn a hot trail across my neck. Teeth grazed my earlobe at the same moment that his hands finally reached their destination, and there was no way in the seven hells I could've stopped from gasping and arching into him. My legs wrapped themselves tightly around his hips, and he pressed hard against me, pushing me deeper into the mattress and making me gasp again. I couldn't remember ever feeling like this with anyone before. Granted, I wasn't exactly thinking all that clearly, but I'd never felt this intense, burning passion, or felt such a rush of power knowing that I was creating the same feeling in someone else. The way that Embry touched me, kissed me, told me he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him, and it made my head spin.

Maybe that was why the furious pounding on my door didn't register at first; I thought it was just the sound of my heart pounding away. But then it happened again, and whoever was doing the pounding was in danger of literally beating it down.

"Will you two just stop it already?" Seth's voice boomed through the door, and it sounded like he was going to furplode. "I'm gonna vomit! And Leah, you're late, so get your ass in the shower!"

Holy. Freaking. Shit. There is nothing, and I repeat, nothing more incredibly awkward than being yelled at by your (surprisingly angry) baby brother, while the sexy hot guy you'd just been about to tear the clothes off of is still on top of you with his hands wedged up your shirt. I couldn't even look Embry in the face as we both scrambled to get away from each other and off the bed. My pride demanded that I say something cool and nonchalant, just to show him that this whole thing was no big deal to me, but the best I could manage was an incoherent mumble as I darted for the door.

I was so flustered, I couldn't even come up with something to snap at Seth's retreating back as he stomped off down the stairs. The only thing I really wanted to do was get into the bathroom and hide until I could douse the raging hormones and get back to the normal, bitchy, in-control Leah Clearwater everyone expected me to be.

The cold water streaming over me helped to clear my thoughts, and I leaned my head against the tiles in frustration. Just what in the hell was going on with me? I wanted Embry, god how I wanted him, but it was more than that. I didn't want to know what the 'more' was. I didn't want to think about it, I didn't want to complicate things further between the two of us. I just wanted everything to go back to normal, whatever that was.

And what the hell was up with Seth? Banging on my door like a shotgun-wielding, overprotective dad! Jeez, I was totally going to beat the living shit out of him for embarrassing me that badly, and-

I was jolted out of my thoughts by a bang so loud that the walls shook. Heart pounding in my throat, I hopped out of the shower, dried, and dressed in record time, with my brain frantically spewing out the stupidest, most irrational worst-case-scenario explanations. By the time I'd flown down the stairs and skidded into the kitchen, I was expecting to see Cyrus standing there, casually inspecting the blown-up chunks of my Packmates.

Instead, I found Jacob and Quil calmly shoveling cereal into their big mouths and my back door cracked in several places and hanging precariously off its hinges.

"What the hell happened to my door?" I shrieked, then paused at the faint sound of snarling growls. "And where are Seth and Embry?"

Jacob jerked his head towards the woods and the snarls. "Out there. And you can thank Seth for the broken door."

"Wait- are they fighting? Aren't you going to stop them?" I demanded, heading over to the window to peer out anxiously. Jake and Quil glanced at each other, eyebrows raised, before turning their attention back to their cereal.

"Well, if you're not going to stop them, then I am!" I huffed angrily.

"Actually, you probably want to just let them work this out for themselves," Jake replied, somehow managing to make the words intelligible around a mouthful of food. He jumped up and steered me out of the kitchen before I could protest, or even smack him across the head for being disgusting.

"Anyway, you're already late, and Emily's gonna have kittens if you don't get over there, so grab your stuff and let's get moving," he ordered, pushing me towards the stairs.

"You're seriously going to just let Seth and Tank rip each other to shreds out there?" I demanded.

"Yep. And you are, too," he replied, then pointed towards my room with a mock-serious expression. "Those two idiots will be just fine after they work out their little… disagreement, so don't make me Alpha-command your ass to get that fugly dress and get over to Emily's house.."

I pulled a face at him, but ran upstairs to get the so-called 'fugly dress', which, quite frankly, was an insult to the word fugly. It really was a damn shame the dress shop had been able to rush order another one in for me, considering the last one had been shredded when I furploded.

I still wanted to head out to the woods to find out what was going on with Seth and Embry, but what could I do with Jake threatening to Alpha-command me besides head on over to Emily's house with Quil? At least the lingering memory of the feeling of Embry's hands was a serious, and unwelcome, distraction. Damn Seth and his horrible, cock-blocking interrupting.

I had been dreading the twittering, pre-wedding girly atmosphere, but Emily and Claire's mother Anne seemed to be the only ones in that kind of mood when I got to the house. Emily's mom had never liked Sam to begin with, so I, knowing my aunt Julia well, could tell instantly that she was smiling only for her daughter's benefit. Rachel Black, already dressed and ready, was being her normal bossy self. Taking charge of every little detail of everything apparently didn't leave any room for giggling and giddy behavior. I deliberately avoided her while I quickly changed into the hideous brown and orange atrocity and shoved my feet into the equally ugly and uncomfortable shoes. Oh, what I wouldn't have given for a pair of Jimmy Choo's or Manolos right then.

Once dressed, I smiled and said all the right things, and tried to blend into the wall and pretend I wasn't there. Emily kept bouncing from person to person, sailing back and forth in front of me in her white wedding dress, glowing with happiness. And I-

I finally realized that I really, truly, didn't care one bit.

It didn't bother me that she was getting married to Sam. It didn't matter that she was pregnant and going to be living a life I couldn't have. All of that was totally insignificant compared to the one giant and overwhelming problem I was now facing.

Embry.

What did I feel for him? Friendship? Lust? Or something much, much deeper? No. No, I couldn't. I was way to smart for that. He was a Wolf. There was no possible way I could be that stupid.

Could I?

"Here. You look like you need this more than me."

The words, quietly muttered out of nowhere made me jump and look around wildly. Kim, wearing the same hideous dress as me, stood next to me, nudging my elbow with a small, silver flask. She watched Emily flitting around with a bored, semi-annoyed expression, and I took the flask with a wry smile of thanks. Of all the imprintees, Kim was by far and away my favorite.

"I cannot believe that bitch had the nerve to ask you to be a bridesmaid. I mean, what the flying fuck. Just because she's fucking pregnant, she thinks everyone should do whatever she wants. You've got a broke-ass Quilete kid in your uterus, bitch, not god damned royalty," she snorted under her breath suddenly, then took the flask from me, took a sip, and handed it back.

You see why I like her? I'd always thought she was just a quiet, shy girl, but then I wolfed out, got into Jared's head, and found out she was all kinds of freaky. Like pole-dancing and contortionism were her two hobbies freaky. For real. And yeah, Jared was one lucky asshole.

"I'm surprised she asked you, too," I replied after taking a generous sip from the flask myself. It's not like Emily and Kim had ever even pretended to be great friends. Emily had always treated her with a kind of condescending pity, like she thought that no guy would have ever paid attention to the quiet girl without the 'magic' of imprinting, and Kim hid behind her faked shy routine and secretly despised her. Maybe my liking her had a teeny bit to do with the fact that she thought Emily was a selfish, egotistical bitch.

"I'm only here to fill numbers. It's not like the she has any real friends after she ran after Sam like that," Kim stated. "The muffin-baking whore."

Giggling, I took another swig before handing the flask back to her. She nodded, apparently having said enough for one day, and wandered off again, looking bored. My phone beeped, and I dug around in the brown purse/pouch hybrid thing that was Emily's lame idea of a bridesmaid gift and pulled it out.

"How u holding up girl?" I smiled at the text from Rose, remembering how she had said she was going to skip out of patrolling the borders for us so she could be home alone in case I needed to talk. Of course, she'd used a whole lot more snark and a few snide insults when she told Jake she wouldn't be doing any 'doggie guard duty' just so 'douchebag and douchebaggette" could get married with both Packs present.

"Bored but ok. Gonna burn this entire outfit when I get home tho." I texted back.

"Burning is too good for that sorry excuse for a dress. Keep me updated ok?"

Rachel called out that the boys were there with the cars, and it was time for us to get to the wedding. I texted a quick 'k' back to Rose, and plastered on my game face. There was a crazy amount of fuss over getting Emily into the car without getting any mud on her dress (I saw Kim sneakily splash some muddy water onto the hem and decided that if there was ever a Pack war, I would spare Jared just to make her happy) before any of us lowly bridesmaids could climb into a car ourselves. Rachel and Kim piled into a car with Jared and Paul- surprise, surprise!- and I found myself crowded into the backseat of Jake's Rabbit between Embry and Seth while Quil pouted in the front with Jake because he couldn't ride with Claire.

"Are you two over your little spat now?" I demanded the two hulking behemoths currently squishing me between them. They both looked a little sheepish, but grinned at each other.

"Yeah. It's all good now. Just a… misunderstanding," Seth replied quickly.

At my side, Embry nodded in agreement, and I did my best to ignore how much of his body was touching mine. I didn't look at him, couldn't look at him, because I was afraid of what I would feel when I did.

Even when we reached the hall, I managed to scoot out after Seth and keep my head down as I ran out of the rain and joined the other girls clustering around Emily. I chalked it up to my imagination, but I could swear I actually felt Embry's eyes following me. I couldn't muster up the courage to turn around to see if I was right.

Call me a coward, because that's what I am.

Things started happening fast then, too fast. We were all lined up, barked into place by a flustered Rachel, and before I could catch my breath, I found myself walking down the aisle towards the front of the hall.

Deep breaths, deep breaths. Head up, and smile, dammit.

I looked up, and saw Sam standing at the front, and my heart didn't even miss a beat. Not even one tiny jolt. He could've been any random stranger off the street for all I cared. All those hours spent worrying about the pain I would feel on his wedding day were over in that brilliant instant. I was free. Free, free, free!

My smile grew as I looked around at the gathered crowd of people. I saw the old gossiping biddies whispering behind their hands, and it only made me hold my head up higher. Let them talk, because it couldn't make one ounce of difference to me. I saw my fan boys from Sam's Pack jostling each other to get a better look at me, and I had to bite back a bout of giggles.

That's right boys. I'm so hot I can rock even this travesty of a dress.

And then there was my Pack. The goofs were all encouraging smiles and worried eyes. I waggled my eyebrows at them just to show that they had no need to be concerned about me anymore, and the effect was immediate. Quil and Seth looked like they wanted to hug each other and squeal like little girls. Jake's grin was so wide that it looked painful, and he mouthed a 'Looking good!' at me. And Embry-

My eyes caught his, and I could no longer lie to myself.

I loved Embry.

I had loved him for months. Deep down, I knew I'd known it all along and hadn't had the guts to admit it even to myself. And I knew, in that instant, that compared to how I loved Embry, what I'd felt for Sam had been nothing more than pathetic, childish infatuation. If I lived a thousand years and never saw my Tank again, I'd still love him as much as I did now. And I could never, never love another man besides him.

I was so screwed.

I know, right? Ridiculously short, especially for the first chapter in a few years. It was just… the perfect place to end the chapter. On the upside, the next chappie's half written, so bonus, right? Sigh. I'll be expecting flames, because I deserve them.