Zuko hid in his room for the rest of the day. He skipped the midday meal and tea, and was far too anxious sounding when Lu Ten came to his door to check on him. But he couldn't face anyone.
Everything had been just too similar and just different enough for him to slide into some mental pocket. He wasn't normally prone to looking at his reflection, and so even the obvious difference of his face wasn't present enough to have forced him to realize what had happened.
He wasn't on some odd trip with Fire Nation friends he couldn't remember. He was in a different world, one to which he did not belong. Because this was not his body.
Growing up in the palace had been so lonely. As a small child, when his Lu Ten really was alive, Iroh would always bring a light into their family. When they would go to Ember Island, Ozai would accompany them, interact with them, and everything just seemed better. Zuko could remember the rare moments - ones he hungered for constantly as a child but now reflected back on as odd and contradicting - when Ozai would touch Ursa gently, with something close to affection. And Ursa, if not necessarily enjoying it, did not seem repulsed.
After Lu Ten and Azulon died, everything changed. Iroh was more private, less doting, though he still had regular tea with Ursa.
Zuko's life became quieter, darker, and more lonely. He had studied lamely in his Firebending, avoided his sister and father, and trained with Piandao. It wasn't until he attempted to mix his sword fighting with theatre that Zuko felt like a whole person.
The stage workers - the people in black suits that moved props during a performance - had to move quickly, silently, and with precise dexterity. It was the perfect blend of avoidance and strength- exactly what he needed in the palace.
When forced to play with Azula and her friends, he instigated competitions with Ty Lee. Azula would sabotage him and laugh, but he learned. Being around Mai was both a perk, and another excuse to watch Ty Lee.
Then Zuko practiced. He would rush from Firebending training and pick up his training sword, finding an empty garden to practice in. He wanted to be able to flip with no hands, so he could maintain his grip on the sword. He wanted to be able to propel himself over obstacles so he could keep his hands as free as possible. He wanted to be able to climb, run, and stand silently, so no one could catch him.
When his mother disappeared, it became almost easier to practice because less of the ones who wanted to hurt him were looking for him. Unfortunately, that meant most of his avoidance practice was on Iroh's attempts to reach out.
His ability to be the Blue Spirit became the only good part of his life. It was his mother, his father, and the only equalizer he had with Azula. But he kept it safe and private.
And now it was gone. Everything he had worked for and earned was gone.
His Uncle would not be the same. His mother would not be the same. Once again, he was surrounded by people he could not trust but now he was ignorant, weak, and confused. He didn't even have his own body.
What was worse, what made this whole situation that more dangerous, was the fact that now, unlike in his childhood, Zuko was desperate for the love and acceptance he had gotten from his friends and family. The love he deserved.
The love that did not exist here.