Anakin was quiet. He had a lot on his mind. He thought of the fight he and Obi-wan just got into, he thought of what Ahsoka had told him the day before. You keep anyone who could help you out! Anakin closed his eyes, he didn't know anymore. He glanced over at Piper who hadn't spoken which he was kinda thankful for.
They walked through the inners of the city, the only sound came from the gentle wind and the murmurs of the Ant-walking Alligators. These once people were now endless roaming the streets searching. They seemed to be searching for something.
For the most part, Piper let the Gators be. However if one crossed their path she would pull out her gun and shoot it. Finally, the silence among them was too much, so Anakin decided to make small talk.
"What was it like here?" He asked.
"This was a city for a lot of rich and artistic people." "There was a big film industry here, and so when the bomb went off a lot of celebrities died."
Anakin gave her a look through his mask.
"Like famous people, do you have anyone famous on Corosunt?" She asked.
"The senators and Jedi mainly," Anakin stated.
"Wow, so you guys don't have any entertainment."
"No...No there is, just Jedi can't really go on their free time to it."
"Oh, that sucks." She stated. "Why not?"
"We are supposed to be peaceful, and use our free time to study."
"Sounds like college."
"Huh?"
"Here we had large schools where people our age would go to learn basically whatever they wanted."
"Better than fighting in a war."
"Well some people did go to war, but it was your choice."
"People would actually choose to go fight."
"Hey it surprises me too but some people just love that kind of stuff."
Anakin looked around at the scenes around him.
"Hey don't worry, they'll meet us there," Piper stated reassuringly.
"Huh. I'm still worried." Anakin said. "I know that Ahsoka is extremely resourceful and Rats and Donovan know the area, but I just can't help but worry."
"It's okay, everyone gets worried. I'm worried about them too, I just try not to think about it."
"I normally try not to think about it either, but when Ahsokas is involved I just get.."
"Frantic, I get it, you deeply care about her, you're allowed to get frantic about people you care about. Especially when you don't even know what their situation is. "
Anakin looked at her, he had never thought of getting emotional as being okay. "It is against the Jedi Order to give in to your emotions."
"So that's why you try and hide it." Piper asked.
Anakin nodded. "It makes me look like a bad Jedi, the council barely trusts me, they always look at me like I am going to do something rash and mess everything up." Anakin wasn't entirely sure why he was telling her this. These are the kind of things he would only tell Padme or the Chancellor. Maybe it was because she was on another planet, maybe it was because she did things that the council would find horrifying and she could care less.
"That sounds horrible!" Piper stated. "How do you live like that?"
Anakin was taken aback by her reaction, normally Padme would say, "Just try your best Ani, I'm sure they trust you." Or the Chancellor would say. "Don't deny your feelings Anakin, they make you special."
"I don't know. I just kinda… not tell anyone." Anakin admitted. "I try my best to ignore it, but it always comes back."
"Well, that's not good." Piper began, "If you ignore your feelings you'll take it out the wrong way and hurt someone you care about."
"At the Temple, we are supposed to Mediate when we get these kinds of feelings, but no matter what I do, how hard I try they come back."
"I'm sorry that must be really hard," Piper stated.
"The Jedi way is to not let emotions cloud your judgment. And sometimes I feel like my emotions cloud them too much."
"So let me get this straight, the Jedi don't want you to have ANY emotions?" She asked.
"Yep."
"No wonder the Cavalry idolizes you guys," Piper stated. "Wait, so Obi-wan keeps getting upset when we kill, do you guys actually not kill anyone?"
"Well we can, but only if they are armed and we shouldn't have emotions when we do it." Anakin stated. "It is frowned upon to kill out of rage."
Piper gave him a look. "Like a psycho killer?"
"What?"
"Well, the Calvary is a BUNCH of Pycho killers because they show no emotion and they have no empathy when they murder someone." "Sound familiar?"
Anakin looked at her. He honestly never thought of that before, and he really hated how right she sounded. "Yeah,"
"You're hiding something," Piper stated.
"What?" Anakin asked.
"You obviously have a few big secrets," Piper said. "What are they?"
Anakin looked down at his feet while he walked. Only two people in the whole galaxy knew his secrets, but for some reason, he wanted to tell Piper. I mean who the heck was she gonna tell.
"When I was a padawan I had a vision that my mother was in danger, when I went to save her it was too late, her slavery…. They raped and tortured her to death." Anakin stopped in his tracks and looked down. He took his mask off, it has been almost three years now and he could still feel the same pain he felt when he found her. "I….I… was too late to save her!" He began to get mad. "They murdered her and I was too late! So I slaughtered the entire village!" He stated. "I was too late! I should have been able to save her but I was too late!" "Obi-wan was RIGHT! I AM A KILLER!" "I HATED THEM SO MUCH! IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!" He then took his mask and with his mechanical arm threw it violently across the path. It smashed into a nearby car window. The sound of glass was heard echoing through the streets.
Piper just stared at him. She had this empathic look on her face. She has seen this before. She knew it all too well.
Anakin then sat down. "The Jedi think I'm the chosen one, they expect me to save the entire galaxy. Me and I couldn't even save my own mother."
"And that's why you care so deeply when your friends are in trouble," Piper stated as she walked towards him.
Anakin looked up, his eyes were red. He looked on the verge of tears, Piper could tell he was desperately holding it in. She looked out over the cliff view, The clouds were covering the entire sky, but the sun was desperately trying to come out. She took off her mask and sat next to him.
"I lost my mom too." She stated.
Anakin looked over at her.
"You remind a lot of my brother, especially the way you look out for Ahsoka. He was the middle child, my eldest brother was always away doing stuff with my dad. So my brother was always the one looking out for me. I was really young, about seven years old when our mom died. My brother was about twelve and he had gotten into some trouble with a gang by accident, one day the gang members were gonna go hurt him but my mom stepped in. She got in the crossfire and died. My brother did nothing but blame himself for that. Growing up was great because I had him but I watched as his guilt slowly ate him alive. And eventually one day it entirely devoured him."
Anakin looked over at her. He had grown up with Jedi, and both the Chancellor and Padme had families so he had never met anyone who had lost their mother in such a tragic way.
"I….I….I just feel so guilty." Anakin stated.
"I know," Piper stated "And it's okay to feel guilty for a little while. I felt guilty when I lost both my brothers and my dad." "I understand what it's like." "Learning how to control our emotions is extremely hard. Forgiving those who have hurt you is also hard. But the hardest thing you will ever have to do is forgive yourself."
"How do you do that?" Anakin asked as tears began to stream down his eyes.
"Well it's not easy and everyone is different. After the apocalypse happened and I lost my remaining family members I was in so much denial. I pretended like it never happened and everything was okay, but I knew it wasn't, so eventually, I got soooo angry! At everything and everyone." She stated. "When I was an Assistant Detective, The Sarge and I led a task force on a Calvary miscarried. I ran out of bullets just before I got to the lead cavalryman of that group and as a result, he slit a girl's throat." "Instead of falling back as the Sarge ordered I got so mad! I started beating him with my bare fist and then ripped out his throat with my bare hands."
Anakin looked at her and cringed a little bit. He has never heard of someone doing that. But in a weird way, it made him feel better about himself.
"The Sarge got mad at me and told me that I needed to get over my guilt. She felt really bad for me, but gave me a month off and told me not to come back til I worked my anger out on my own." "So I took time for myself, eventually the anger stopped and I was in so much pain, I would have done anything to make it go away! One day I came to Sarge's door and just cried non-stop for almost an hour. I felt so alone and trapped."
"That is really intense," Anakin said.
Piper continued. "After I let myself grieve over it I realized that I could not change the past, and I forgave myself. Then when I went back to work, I had a better handle on my emotions and I could run a little faster, kick a little sharper, think a lot clearer. It made me stronger. And when you learn to forgive yourself for this it will make you stronger too."
"I don't know how I am ever gonna forgive myself," Anakin stated.
Piper stood up, "It is hard. It's extremely hard, but it's not impossible. You just have to be open to the idea of it." "This too will pass."
Anakin looked up at her.
"I promise it will," She smiled. "Now come one, we're almost there."
"So you actually ripped a man's throat out?" Anakin asked Piper, they were almost at the tower. He found this fact oddly interesting.
Piper laughed for a moment. "It was not one of my best moments, but I was pretty mad." "To be honest it was kinda funny because he was all like 'you're at of bullets little girl what are you going to do!'"
Anakin chuckled for a moment. He has had multiple thoughts like this with Dooku and the Separatist, but of course, he never admitted it. "I feel so bad for laughing at it."
"No, the guy was a real jerk, even the Sarge told me he deserved it. 'It was just the way I did it was problematic because it indicated that I had some issues."
"Yeah," Anakin stated. "After I killed all the villagers I wanted to tell Obi-wan but he wouldn't understand. I don't think he even cares about me."
"He does," Piper stated.
"How do you know," Anakin asked.
"Well, he immediately regretted what he said to you, you only regret things you say to someone when you really care about them," Piper stated.
"I guess, my wife tells me that he cares," Anakin stated and then immediately jerked up.
Piper raised an eyebrow and then began laughing. "Woah! So you have some major secrets!"
"Yeah," Anakin stated, scratching his head. "I know it's wrong, but I love her so much and I know it's against the code." "I know that love is the wrong choice but…"
"No, love is always the right choice." Piper smiled. "Because without it how are you going to forgive yourself."
Anakin sighed and wished the council would see it that way. "Plus before I left we got into a fight, so maybe they are right."
"People get in fights with their lovers all the time!" Piper stated. "What was the fight about?"
"Well I don't know we were watching a program about this family and then I said 'I could never imagine bringing kids into this world with the war going on,' and then she lost it!"
Piper raised an eyebrow.
"And then she got really mad and then out of nowhere started crying!" Anakin stated.
Piper stopped. "I think I know what it is, but I could be wrong so don't quote me."
Anakin looked at her waiting for a response.
"She's Pregnant," Piper stated.
Anakin took a step back, "What!"
"Well you see, she got mad when you said you didn't want kids.."
"I never said that."
"Yeah but she's a girl, us girls we assume things all the time, so when you said 'you didn't want to have kids until after the war,' she heard, 'I don't want kids.'"
Anakin froze, that made a lot of sense.
"And since she started crying means that she's probably very hormonal meaning…."
"She's pregnant," Anakin stated.
"Yeah, but not entirely sure!" Piper stated. "I could be wrong."
"Yeah, but I have a feeling your right," Anakin stated, he looked down. How can I ever be a father!
"Is that a bad thing?" Piper asked.
Anakin looked up and smiled. He remembered playing with Tris's kids and how much fun that was, he also remembers teaching Ahsoka things about mechanics and Jedi things. If he had kids he would get to do that, sure there would be a lot of challenges but those fun and teaching moments would make it all worth it. "Honestly, no it wouldn't." Anakin smiled. "It would be really really amazing!"
He then frowned but there would be a lot of challenges with it as well. First off the council.
"The council is going to expel me," Anakin stated sadly. "I love being a Jedi, I love helping people, saving them, but the council is going to make me choose!"
"They really shouldn't," Piper stated. "That's pretty messed up." "You could handle both."
Anakin sighed. "The council won't think I could." "They don't trust me at all."
Piper looked at him. "You'll figure it out."
"You think?"
"Yes." Piper smiled. "You are a lot smarter than you think you are."
Anakin smiled. "Thank you, Piper."
"For what?" Piper asked.
"For listening to me."
Piper smiled and she opened her mouth to say something.
"Oh how touching!" Came an enthusiastic voice from behind them.
Immediately Anakin and Piper turned around to face who said those words.
"I almost shedding a tear." Phoenix's demonic voice echoed around them.
Piper immediately pulled out her gun and began firing at him.
Phoenix however breathed and immediately the bullets stopped mid-air. Phoenix began laughing. "Ha haha. You really did mean it when you said 'I will shoot you the next time I see you.'"
"GET BACK!" Piper yelled.
"Oh, Piper I'm not here for you," Phoenix stated.
Anakin squinted his eyes. "What do you want!" He yelled.
Pheonix made a face, "well first let me inform you that you are indeed surrounded."
Anakin and Piper glanced around and noticed that there were many Calvary snipers peeking through the bushes around the buildings and standing on higher ground than them.
Anakin and Piper reluctantly put their hands up.
"Good," Phoenix stated he turned to Anakin. "Anakin Skywalker am I correct?"
Anakin didn't make a noise, he just squinted his eyes tighter.
"I will take that as a yes." Phoenix began. "I want to make a deal with you. As I am sure you know you have a great connection to the force more so than any Jedi. I have a plan set in motion, but unfortunately, I have come to a block in the road. So if I am to break through this barrier I need someone with great force power to help me out and what better person than the Chosen one himself."
Anakin gazed grew harsher. "I am not the Chosen One."
Phoenix began laughing. "Of course you're not! The tale of the Chosen one is nearly fiction, but you can not deny that you do have an extreme connection with the force, can you?"
Anakin looked down.
"Enough with your games Phoenix!" Piper yelled.
"Shut up Piper!" Phoenix shouted a little too aggressively for his calm demeanor. He then composed himself.
"I am not asking for much." Phoenix began, "I just want you to come with me, so I can show you."
"Don't listen to him, Anakin!" Piper stated.
"Let me make it easier for you!" Phoenix stated. He pulled out a holodisk from his back pocket and laid it on the ground.
The disk then projected four familiar figures: Rats, Donovan, Rex, and Ahsoka. "As you can see I have your men."
Anakin gasped when he saw Ahsoka. He just froze, No.
Phoenix then switched the hologram to show a recording of Rex getting tortured. "Ahhhhh!" Rex shouted.
"I will let your men go if you come with me," Phoenix stated.
Anakin looked between the hologram and Phoenix.
"Anakin don't listen to him!" Piper began, "He's playing mind games! He won't let them go even if you agree."
"Oh I certainly will, you have my words Skywalker I will release all that are in custody if you come with me."
"Anakin, don't," Piper stated.
"I'm sorry, I have to Piper. I don't have a choice." Anakin stated. "I agree to your terms."
"Excellent!" Phoenix stated. "Men can you please escort Piper to her and his men so they can all be released."
A Cavalry member came behind Piper and began nudging her forward with his gun.
"Anakin be careful! Do not trust him!" She shouted as the Calvary pushed her forward.
"What do you want," Anakin asked, defeated.
"Oh, I want so much more than you will ever dream." Phoenix began. "Come with me Skywalker we have much to discuss."