Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Chapter Twenty Four

"It seems unfair."

Merlin jumped, startled by the voice at the door to the armory.

"You saved our lives – again, apparently – and you still have to polish Arthur's boots." Gwaine shook his head in disappointment. "Did he even give you a day off?"

Merlin tried to smile at the knight, but it felt stiff and awkward on his face. "He did, actually. But it's kind of nice to do something normal."

Gwaine took a seat next to him and grabbed a rag and a boot. "I think I'm just starting to realize that 'normal' for you is not at all what I thought it was." He raised an eyebrow at his friend. "I mean, I knew boot-polishing was normal, but I guess using magic to fight Camelot's enemies is also normal?"

"A bit," Merlin admitted. "You don't have to do that," he added, nodding to the boot in Gwaine's hand. "You're a knight. Knights don't polish boots."

Gwaine shrugged. "Remember when we first met and Arthur made us polish the boots for the entire army?"

"Because you drank Camelot's entire supply of ale in one night."

"I didn't drink it alone," Gwaine protested with a grin. "I made a lot of friends that night." Merlin snickered, but the knight's face turned serious. "Drinking buddies are different from real friends, though. Real friends are hard to come by. And one of my best friends has been avoiding me for weeks."

Merlin turned more focus onto the boot. He couldn't escape Arthur, but he had done his best to dodge the other knights since the incident on the ridge.

"I've carried that secret my whole life," he said finally. "My mother, Gaius, and Lancelot were the only people who knew. And then in a moment – a moment I barely remember – that number nearly tripled. All of a sudden, there's a whole group of people who know more about me than I ever meant for them to know." He rubbed his temple, getting a streak of oil on his face in the process. "It's hard enough just trying to deal with Arthur knowing. I can't even stand to think about everyone else yet."

"You're worried about what the knights think of you now," Gwaine acknowledged. "But Merlin, we already knew you. Plus, we all knew what the druid had said about the prophecy – most of us were optimistic about Emrys even before we knew it was you."

Merlin eyed him skeptically.

"Honestly, we were!" Gwaine insisted. "We'd been talking for weeks about this Emrys character and whether magic might not actually be all bad. And even before that…" he paused and gave Merlin a sheepish smile. "Well, to be honest, Lancelot had kind of been working behind the scenes for a while. A long while. Challenging our assumptions, subtly suggesting magic could be used for good as well as evil."

A boot clattered to the floor as Merlin's eyes shot to Gwaine in shock. "He what?"

"Not when Arthur was around, mind you," Gwaine clarified hastily, picking the boot up and handing it back. "But when it was only us…let's just say the man knows how to play the long game. Look, I know you have plenty to worry about right now. I just want you to know that this is one thing you don't have to be worried about. I'm not saying things won't be different, or even that everyone will still treat you exactly the same. Things are different. But we don't think any less of you. And I, for one, think it's fantastic."

Merlin allowed himself a small smile. "Thank you."

"Now…" Gwaine eyed Arthur's other pair of boots. "I think those look fine, so what do you say we blow the rest of this off? I told the others I'd do my best to get you to join us for a drink tonight."

Merlin's gut lurched at the idea of a night with a group of men who all knew his secret, but he knew he'd have to face them eventually. Besides, he couldn't say no to the hopeful look on Gwaine's face.

"He came!" Percival cried merrily, lifting his tankard toward Merlin, and the other knights cheered. Merlin's cheeks warmed with both gratitude and embarrassment, even as part of him wished he could go back to his room and hide.

"We weren't sure Gwaine would be able to persuade you," Elyan said, clapping him on the back as Merlin sat down beside him.

"We weren't sure Gwaine would be able to find you, actually." Leon smiled at him good-naturedly. "You've been scarce these days."

Merlin shrugged, hoping he looked less awkward than he felt. "Sorry. I've just been…busy." He cringed at how flat and insincere that sounded, but if anyone noticed, they didn't show it.

Down at the other end of the table, Lancelot caught his eye and winked. "Good to see you," he called down, and Merlin managed a tense smile in response.

The tavern was too loud for any real conversation, and the knights were more than capable of carrying on a rowdy and pointless discussion without his help. He felt grateful they didn't pay any extra attention to him. He was included in the teasing and invited into the conversation, but no one mentioned his magic, and no one stared or avoided eye contact.

Which wasn't to say that nothing changed. Merlin felt their curiosity. He saw the questions in their eyes, even if they didn't ask them. And, he noticed bittersweetly, the nature of their teasing had subtly changed. It wasn't quite as belittling or dismissive. And while part of him felt like the little brother who was finally being treated as an adult, another part of him couldn't help grieving the loss of how things had been before. Yes, he wanted to be seen and respected and have his victories recognized.

But honestly? Part of him had liked being the little brother.

He stayed well into the night, but he was still the first to stand and say he was heading home.

"Already?" Gwaine protested, looking at his half-full tankard. "You didn't even have two full drinks!"

Merlin hesitated before answering, then figured he might as well be honest. "It's best not to lose control in a crowded room a long way from my own chambers," he admitted in a low voice. "If I'm going to drink heavily, I need to go somewhere more private with an easier path home."

"I can attest to that," Lancelot added with a chuckle, and Gwaine's eyes widened.

"Oh, I want stories," he demanded. "What did he do?"

Merlin laughed and waved. "That's my cue. Goodnight, gentlemen."

To his surprise, Percival said his goodbyes as well and followed him out into the night. They made the walk in silence. It was one of the things Merlin liked about Percival; he was okay with quiet.

"You know I don't need protection walking home, don't you? If a thief attacks me, I can take care of myself," Merlin pointed out as they approached the castle, and Percival laughed.

"I don't doubt it. And you're enough of a magnet for trouble that it might even happen," he joked lightly, his tone much softer and friendlier than Arthur's would have been with the same taunt. "But my type of protection might be less likely to alarm anyone who happened to witness it. Besides, I'm tired. I really did want to go home."

"Fair enough," Merlin admitted with a half-smile.

"I'm glad you came tonight. We've missed you."

Merlin shifted awkwardly and shrugged, but Percival didn't seem to expect an answer. Before they turned to part ways in the entrance hall, Percival gave him a long look.

"It's a big world out there, Merlin. I've been lucky enough to see a decent portion of the Five Kingdoms, and even a little bit beyond. Not everywhere is like Camelot, you know."

Merlin looked at him curiously, unsure where Percival was headed.

"There are other places you could have gone that would have been better for you. That would have been safer. But I'm glad you stayed. I think Camelot needs you."

"Thanks," Merlin said softly. "I'm glad I stayed too."

Percival gave him a short nod and clapped him on the back. "Don't be a stranger," he called over his shoulder, then ambled off towards the knights' quarters, and Merlin turned towards Gaius's chambers with a tired smile.