A/N: Here it is. Chapter one. I found a wonderful beta and she helped me correcting any mistakes I made, helped me with wording and on the matter of sentence construction.

As of 3rd of November I am still figuring things out with this fanfic. I probably should have waited before posting anything really, but I just couldn't wait to share the beginnings. For example I am still thinking about chapter titles and pace, adding and deleting scenes from the first two chapters, but don't worry, I have figured out the story when it comes to the main plot. It's only the details I have to work on.

I hope you enjoy this first chapter!

And reviews equal love ;)

Platonia

Chapter 1

monachopsis – n. the sublte but persistent feeling of being out of place

„Ah, Mr Riddle!", as he heard his name Tom Riddle stopped walking and turned around. His head of house seemed cheerful, more than usual. He wondered what had happened that made Professor Slughorn smile so brightly. He was breathing quite heavily as well - the man really wasn't that active physically, was he? Just one glance at the grown mans belly was more than enough to prove that.

„Yes, Professor?", he asked his demeanor polite as always, „How can I help you?"

The potions master came to a halt in front of him, his cheeks red and slightly harsher breaths coming from the man than a few moments ago, yet it didn't take away any of his cheerfulness - and the strange worry in the lines around his eyes, Tom realized.

„I was looking for you! You are a Prefect after all, and the Head Boy and Head Girl went home for the holidays. You are needed at the headmasters office. Follow me, but quickly, they're waiting", and with that Horace Slughorn started to hurry back the way he had come from.

Who was waiting?, he wanted to ask but kept silent. He was sure he would find out what the fuss was all about sooner or later. It must be something quite important with how Professor Slughorn was acting, slightly different than ususal.

Tom was following obediently and with every step they did he wondered more and more what had happened that he needed to be summoned. It was a Christmas holiday after all and most of the students had left Hogwarts to spend some time with their families. Even more so during the hard times of impending war. Grindelwald had turned out to be a real threat, but the wizarding world was not only worried about him. Many were afraid of the man called Adolf Hitler as well. Both men were dangerous beings in positions with too much power. In times like these he was glad he was on his own, not having to worry about anyone else but himself. Due to this he was the only Slytherin remaining at Hogwarts. And he was taking full advantge of it, researching and practicing his skills, using his charm to get what he wanted, getting books from the forbidden section of the library. Tom doubted it had to do with anything he had done that could be deemed as the illegal kind.

When they arrived at the headmasters office Professor Slughorn moved hurriedly and entered the room. The first thing he noticed was that Professor Dippet was not alone. Tom easily recognized one of the poeple in there, yet the other person in the room was completly unknown to him. There stood Albus Dumbledore standing beside the headmasters desk and in front of the desk, in one of two chairs, sat a girl. She wasn't wearing a uniform, only simple pants and a simple blouse, a slightly ragged leather bag in her lap. Was she wearing mens clothing? How strange. It seemed to be magically transfigured as well to fit her thin form better. Her wand was tucked inside a messy bun and as she turned her head to look at him he saw two blue eyes hidden behind a pair of dirty glasses. The look she gave him was strange though. There was some kind of recognition. Did they know each other? Have they met? No, it couldn't be. He rememberd every person he had ever met in his life. He rarely forgot someone - anything at all, really. The other thing that he observed was the Sorting Hat sitting at the desk as if it had been in use. At that one of his brows rose.

„Good, you found him Horace.", Professor Dippet smiled at the Slytherin Prefect as he now directed his attention towards him, „Good evening, Tom. I hope we didn't disturb any festivities? It is Christmas holiday after all."

„Not at all, Professors.", Tom replied kindly, his lips drawn in a small polite smile as he looked back from the hat to the girl and his gaze wandering further until he was looking at the headmaster.

„Good, good…", Professor Dippet answered. Professor Dumbledore still hadn't said a thing, he seemed to be paying more attention to the girl than on him. Now this was really strange as well. The transfiguration professor usually never left him out of his sight, at least to the best of his ablites. Nontheless, he was no fool and could easily avert prying eyes, moving thorugh the castle without being detected.

„I want to introduce you to Miss Kuch- how do you say it?", the headmasters smile seemed to grow a little tight as he turned his attention to the dirty new girl, Tom noted. She looked away from him, as he now stood beside her sitting form. From the corner of his eyes he could see how tightly she was clutching her bag, almost protectively, so hard that her knuckles turned white. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably, too.

„Kucharska, Sir.", she told him quietly, her voice sounding a little raw as if her throat had been damaged. Maybe it was. Or maybe she had cried and sobbed. Her red eyes told Tom as much. And he wondered where she had come from, why she was here. She seemed young enough and he deduced if the Sorting Hat had been involved it only meant she would become a part of one of the houses. As he wasn't the only Prefect in the school during holiday season she must have been sorted into Slytherin.

„Ah, I apologize. Nontheless… she is new at Hogwarts. Fled from Poland and Germany to come here. Isn't that so, dear girl?", a look of compassion crossed Prfoessor Dippets face, his feelings of compassion heard in his words.

The new girl merely nodded: „That is correct, Sir. It's… yes." She had wanted to say more but had decided against it. Tom vaguely wondered what it was that she had wanted to say, yet the thought fled from his mind at the headmasters next words.

„And the Sorting Hat sorted her into Slytherin.", he explained further and just as he had deduced, she had been sorted into Slytherin. As a Prefect of Slytherin house and the best performing student it would be his duty to show her around, which was only logical. A duty he truthfully didn't want to have, but he still complied. There were many things he didn't like to do but had to if he wanted to achieve greatness. He had better things to do than to show a little girl around. Still, his polite smile remained and so he nodded in understanding: „I see, Sir. I can show Miss Kucharska around. As most students aren't at Hogwarts at the moment we'll have enough time for me to explain everything to her until their return."

„Wonderful! That was what I was hoping to hear!", of course Professor Dippet was glad and Professor Slughorn was smiling so brightly it just had to hurt. He was simply happy due to having another student under his wing, hoping she would be an extraordinary student for his cute little club, but the teacher surpressed it soon, as she seemed to not care about houses or other things. The teachers compassion were just acted out and not real. How despicable. Tom wanted to sneer at these man but he kept his smile on his face. Becuase Horace Slughorn collected talent and connections like a bird twigs for its nest.

In Toms mind the teachers had seemed to have forgotten the state she was in. She was clearly shaken, maybe even in a state of shock, or maybe they had given her a calming drought, which was why the adults didn't seem too worried. He had arrived only a few minutes earlier after all. Still, it had only taken these few minutes to be disgusted by the behaviour these men showcased towards an obviously traumatized girl.

„So… is this all?", the girls shy voice sounded as if she would love nothing more than to leave, talking for the first time since Tom had arrived. Professor Dippet nodded quickly: „Yes, of course. If you need anything, I am sure, Tom can lead you to the hospital wing."

Now it was her turn to nod as she started to get up from the chair and slung her leather bag over her shoulder: „Then… I can leave now?" There was an edge to her voice that hadn't been there before but Tom couldn't blame her for that. She ignored the comment on the hospital wing, probably wanting to be alone, which eh could understand. It was irresponsible, but still, he understood. Whatever she had been through it must have been vile. War was vile. Tom knew that. He had seen the depravity of human beings which only worsened in times of war. But before they could leave Albus Dumbledore made a move towards her.

„Just a moment, Miss Kucharska. I just want to make sure you don't forget what we have talked about?", Albus Dumbledore had stepped towards her, an urgency in his eyes and his voice. The girl stopped and Tom couldn't see the look in her eyes as she lowered her face before nodding: „Don't worry Professor. I'll be alright." The smile she was having now was forced, but as she turned to look at Tom he could see dark circles under her eyes as well. She seemed as if she had went through hell and back. Maybe she had. He knew that look on her eyes. He had seen it often enough in the mirror.

With that there was nothing else to do but to leave with her at his side. Together they left the office, stating their good byes, fleeing the headmasters office. They started to walk down the hallway, a strange silence following them with every step they took. She seemed tired and a little irritated. Tense, too. Tom was good at observing other people, but even a blind person could see the distress she felt, it was, after all, no surprise if she really had fled the war that was raging in Europe.

„I think it would be best to show you around tomorrow.", he told her after a while of contemplation, „You seem too tired and I think it would be best to just eat dinner for now. I was on my way to the Great Hall when Professor Slughorn found me. After dinner I'll show you where you're going to share your room with other female students. Unless there is a need to go to the hospital wing?"At that he had stopped walking and he looked at her questioning her, waiting for her reaction.

She had stopped as well and turned her head to look at him. He was taken aback at the smile she was showing him. Because it was the first honest smile: „No, it's okay. I have a few potions in case I don't feel well. But… I won't say no to food!" At that her smile turned to a bright grin, which seemed to be a little forced. It was all happiness and her eyes seemed to twinkle with mischievous hope that hadn't been there before, though the tension never left her features, and really, how could she smile like that after she had went allegedly through hell?

„So, lead the way! I can't wait to finally have something I can dig into.", she tried to act as if nothing had happend, however, he remembered when he had first arrived at Hogwarts, too thin and too small, eating so much on his first evening, so happy, even euphoric at the sight of the delicious dishes before him, that he had vomited all the contencts from his stomach the same night. So he could understand that smile. The orphanage was no kind place and food had been scarce, children stealing the food from one another, sometimes not wanting to eat the vile food but having to anyway. He nearly shuddered at the memories invading his mind. His stomach had not been used to certain foods and so it wasn't surprising he had emptied his stomach on his first night here. It was not a pleasant memory. From what he knew about her she had fled her home, her country. Who knew how long she had been on the road. She seemed too thin as well, the clothing hanging a little from her too skinny form.

Tom smiled at her, somehow sharing her sentiment for food. It was one of the things he loved most during his time in Hogwarts. Being able to eat whatever he wanted was incredibly liberating.

„Well then, follow me.", he simply said to her and started to walk a little faster, hearing her giggle (althought there was not really a good reason for giggling even if it sounded a little hysterical) as they approached the hallway from where one could enter the kitchens. The Prefect had decided to avoid the Great Hall so they could avoid curious eyes and curious questions. In the kitchens they were alone and he had the opportunity to get to know her better. She was a fellow Slytherin after all. And Slytherins cared for each other.

They stopped in front of a portrait after walking for a while longer. At that the girl was confused. Tom had to surpress a smirk: „Here we are."

„But… the food?", she inquired, hope slowly leaving her eyes. Before disappointment could fully hold her in its grasp he tickled the pear in the painting. A giggle was heard from the portrait and the pear shook a little and suddenly there was an entryway.

„M'Lady.", he bowed only a little as he deemed himself on being a gentleman.

The girl laughed at that, this time without any force, which made him a little proud: „Oh, thank you my Lord." Then she went through the entryway and he followed. The first time he had found this place he had been delighted. He must have looked the same way she did now, astonishment and wonder on her features. Tom couldn't stop the grin that had formed on his face.

„Oh, Master Riddle!", a houseelf stopped in front of him as soon as the entryway closed behind them, „What can we do for Master Riddle, Sir?" Several elfs looked to the two humans at that and he answered: „Just dinner, for me, and my lovely companion. But something that is easy to digest, nothing too heavy." The elf nodded in understanding and quickly the elves went back to work.

Soon, there was a table set for two people. Only few minutes later he found himself sitting opposite her. While he was eating with his manners full intact she ate as if it was the last meal she would eat for the rest of her life. He must have been the same, then, on this first day, but not anymore. He wasn't the little boy from all those years ago.

Softly he put his hand on hers - on the one that was holding the fork - because he knew what the consequences would be if she didn't slow down: „Slow down, or you're going to empty your stomach as fast as you ate it."

The new Slytherin girl gave him again a strange look, as if she couldn't understand how he could have said something like this to her, as if she couldn't comprehend him taking care of her. Perhaps she wasn't used to other people taking care of her at all. Honestly he didn't pride himself in being a good, caring person. No, far from it. In his opinion there was no good or evil. Just decisions one had to make and those that had enough power to change. Now it was his choice to help the girl out. He had to evaluate her, after all as well. And maybe, just maybe, she would be an asset to his plans.

„Yeah… you're right. It's just… I haven't had a decent meal for quite some time…", she told him her eyes dimming at certain memories that seemed to haunt her.

„Don't worry. You don't have to talk about things you are uncomfortable with.", he took a bite from his chicken, Bechamel sauce dripping on his plate as he lifted it to his mouth.

„…right.", again, this weird tone in her voice, but before he looked up she had already looked down at her plate and had started eating again. This time slower and taking his advice to heart.

„And I still don't know your full name.", he added after a while, making sure she didn't overeat. At that she stopped eating and she looked at him: „Oh, you don't? I thought it was mentioned…"

He shook his head and she smiled politely: „My name is Weronika. But… you know… you can call my Niki. Just Niki." It sounded mundane and muggle but she didn't seem to care. Perhaps it had been the war. Priorities changed when one was in the middle of one. Everytime he went back to the orphanage he felt as if he was an enemy in a foreign country fighting his own ar against Billy Stubs and all the other children. At one point they had even tried to exorcise him with a priest and holy water and a cross and prayers. At first he had been angry but after a while he had found it highly amusing. When their attempt at freeing him from the devil and his demons had failed they had used the old ways they had always used on disobdient children. Tom would make sure they would pay for every sin, for every wrongdoing they had done to him.

After that they didn't talk much and both kept to their own thoughs, both remembereing the sins they had done and would do, she concentrating more on stuffing her face (not wanting to remember anything but doing so regardless) and him slowing her down occassionally. When they were finished she thanked the houseelfs for their hospitality, which was weird, but that confirmed his suspicion. She was either half-blood or muggleborn as no witch or wizard would ever treat these elves with so much respect or even dignity. Houseelfs were born to be slaves. He wasn't cruel to them by any means, he didn't have a reason to be, but he knew treating these creatures with more than anyone was used to would only draw unwanted attention – the wrong kind of attention he tried to avoid. So yes, she must have been a girl growing up in the muggle word. And he didn't ask.

„I know the dungeons don't seem to be the most welcoming place for a house of Hogwarts, but it is far more welcoming than one might imagine.", Tom explained on their way to the common room. She only nodded at his words and when they finally stood before the entrance he looked at the stone wall and uttered the password: „Eleutheromania."

Without another word the stonewall before her started to change. The bricks moved and moved and seemed to turn into liquid water, as if they were a part of the lake the Slytherins abditory was located under. It felt different than the one entrance to Diagon Ally, more refined and with a kind of serenity that only ancient magic held. Then he entered the common room without any explanation and she followed him through the liquid made bricks.

„Wow…", she whispered in awe as she took in what she saw. Tom grinned and felt a sense of pride and excitement. It was fun looking at her expression and for a moment he wondered if he had looked just like her when he had entered the common room for the first time five years ago. He observed her with amusement as she took more and more in.

The room held a green tinge as it was under the lake. One would sometimes see merfolk swimming around, stopping in front of one of the windows, observing students from time to time. Everything seemed dark, but it was underground and underwater so it was understandable. There was a fire burning in the fire place, giving the room a homely atmosphere, the fire compensating the green colours and tinge the common room held. He gave her a few minutes to take everything in; to comprehend that she was now at Hogwarts, in Slytherin house.

They were alone. There weren't many students that had stayed at Hogwarts and most of the Slytherin students that had stayed were in the Great Hall, attending dinner. Even muggleborns had left for the holiday, being scared that something might happen to their families. There was a war raging on and many were anxious and afraid, which was understandable. However, Tom was not anxious. Not when he was save and within Hogwarts' walls, where nothing dangerous could touch him. Not when all he had to worry about was himself.

When he deemed enough time had passed he put his hand on her shoulder to get her attention: „Follow me." Weronika nodded and he went to an entry where a hallway led to the girls dormitories. As Prefect he had access to them – most of his male peers were envious of him which only amused him. He never made use of these privilege he held in this position. Also, there was a female prefect as well, so he only ever needed to go into the girls dorm room if there was an emergency. Or, as of now, when there was a new student and he was the only Slytherin available. He showed her the room where other fifth year girls slept. She would spend her time here in the same room with Druella Rosier and Ramona Zabini. Weronika was lucky she didn't have to be in the same dormitory room as Walburga Black. The thought of Walburga left a bitter taste in his mouth. The girl was insufferable and clinged to him like a moth to a flame, but at least he held connections and he had been able to use her fortune more than the fortune of his followers. At the beginning she had been sweet enough but her cute little crush had started to turn into something vicious and toxic.

„I assume the empty bed is meant for you.", he told her and she nodded, one bed with no personal decorations or clothing, spaces empty, „The other girls are currently staying with their families. We are the only Slytherins present in Hogwarts at the moment. And I do hope everything is to your statisfaction?" If she had any complaints he would simply tell her to go seek out their head of house.

„It's… perfect.", the new girl slowly stepped deeper into the room and put her bag down on the bed. A few seconds passed as she took everything in before she turned around to look at him: „Thank you, Tom."

„You're welcome.", a charming smile graced his features and it deepend as he saw how she blushed. He knew he was handsome, knew the effect he had on the fairer sex and often times he had used it to his advantage: „Now I'll leave you to your own devices. If you need anything I'll be in the common room, working on school work. Otherwise I suggest we meet tomorrow at 9 o'clock in the morning for breakfast in the common room. After breakfast I can show you around."

„Sounds like a plan.", she smiled shyly at him and that was that. He closed the door and left. He still had a few essays to work on, a few books waiting to be read and research to be done – research on the Dark Arts.

The tension holding her body left together with Tom, her relief felt throughout the whole dorm room. She was finally alone. Since her arrival at Hogwarts she had been tense. And afraid. Oh, so very afraid. Every person she had met was a potential enemy, someone who could hurt her, scream at her, whip her. She felt weak and knew she wouldn't put up much of a fight. Rationally she knew she was safe in Hogwarts but her experiences with recent events had changed her in ways she didn't like. Before she had arrived she had been more secure but now she was an emotional wreck at the brink of tears. The only thing she wanted as of now was a hot shower, a change of clothes and sleep. And the empty bed seemed to be calling to her on a deeper level she couldn't ignore. She decided to put her worries into the back of her mind. At least for now. She needed her beauty sleep, but first things first. She had to clean up as well and she found the bathroom rather quickly. As fast as she could she started to disrobe, not liking what she saw when pale flesh was revealed to the dimly lit room, candles burning for her. When she looked down at herself she nearly started crying. She had lost weight. Too much weight. But the things she had been through and then being on the run and doing forbidden magic could do this to a girl. It had been no easy feat to come here. Many sacrifices had been made and she was determined to make them count.

As the hot water finally came down on her she remembered her friends. Yes, she would make sure that every sacrifice that had been made wouldn't be for naught. Niki couldn't stop the tears from forming in her eyes. They mixed together with the water of her shower and her sobbing was drowned by the noise of the water. Memories surfaced, memories of pain and curses, magic and love. Love. She laughed while sobbing at the thought of love. Half sobbing half laughing she looked down on herself. As fast as she had started to sob she stopped with a deep breath, no sound escaping her closed mouth. Between her breasts were runes tattooed with a golden hue into her flesh. They sometimes seemed to glow and she knew they could move along her like a snake wrapping itself around her body, growing or shrinking. Slowly she caressed the runes from her stomach, up, further and further, until she stopped at the rune on the top right between her voluptuous breasts. She had always liked her breasts but with her getting thinner with time her breasts had downsized as well. They were still rather full but she missed the size she had once held. If the only thing she would be able to control were he looks, she decided, she would at least gain the weight she had lost in the past few weeks.

It took her a while to finish showering and when she finally left the bathroom there were no tears left. Only her red rimmed eyes, hidden behind her glasses, a towel wrapped around her body, hair sticking to her skin. When she looked at the bed there was a night gown for her. A house elf must have left it for her as she had no clothing of her own – only the pants and shirt she had worn when she arrived.

Quietly she put on the night gown, quickly hiding her too thin body under the white fabric. She had arrived with no clothes and she supposed Albus Dumbledore had something to do with it as well. He had understood her situation and he had agreed on helping her, although she hadn't told him much, not her reasons for being here, and not how she had come to Hogwarts on her own. She had no trust for him. She trusted no one. Only a small group of people, particularly one person, and that person wasn't with her, separated by her own doing. She was sure he hated her now. They all probably did. She didn't want to think about this, so she put her attention on the trunk at the end of tthe bed.

Now curious if she would find anything else she opened up the trunk. A quiet breathless gasp left her lips. There was a Slytherin school uniform. More than one in fact. A dress robe and warm winter clothes if she decided to go out. Shoes and socks and underwear, all of those typical for the forties.

Without her wanting to tears started to flow down her cheeks, again, and onto the uniform. Shaking her head she closed the trunk as quickly as possible. The noise the closing of the trunk did echoed in the room which she ignored. Instead she went to her bag and pulled out a soft toy in the form of a dog. It was a little worn out and one of the plastic eyes was missing. She had taken it with her, needing it as some kind of reassurance. It had been a present from her father; her real father, not her step-father, when she had been a little girl. She remembered her mother and father arguing over that soft toy she had so desperately wanted, crying loudly and throwing a temper tantrum only a five year old was able to have, until she got what she had wanted. A deep sigh escaped her at the memory of simpler times. Then she shook her head. It was time to sleep. She needed to get her energy back as fast as possible to finish what she had started, so she slid under the duvet and snuggled the toy to her chest, clutching it tightly. Sleep came far quicker than she had thought, the sounds of water and singing merfolk lulling her to sleep.

When she awoke the next day she had thought she was back. But then all the horrible memories returned to her and with a resigned sigh she started to get ready for the day. She looked at the worn out brown leather band of her wrist watch as she put it on, glad she hadn't overslept; glad the nightmares had been merciful to her. She had never pulled out her earrings, two on each side, simple silver things she had kept as keepsakes from her home, together with the ring her mother had presented her with when she had turned sixteen years old. A ring of pure cold with a saphire eye in the middle of a four leaf shamrock. She loved that ring as it was one of the minor things that proved the love her mother held for her somewhere under the criticism and mean words and toxic behaviour. She clinged to this peace of affection like a moth to the lamp.

As the only clothing she had was the uniform she put it on, disregarding the mens clothing she had worn during her escape until she had made it to Hogwarts. Then she was ready, her wand tucked behind her ear. Her hair tied into a high ponytail and her cheeks holding a warm healthy glow to them. Tom had to admit she looked much better and healther. It really was astounding what a little food and sleep could do to a sick person.

„Good Morning, Weronika.", his silky voice greeted her. Her own smile mirrored his own, polite enough, nice, but not truthful. Over her uniform she wore a light coloured cardigan, something to warm her in the cold winter temperature.

„Good morning Tom.", her voice sounded a little husky so she cleared her throat and clasped her hands together, now sounding more normal. And healthy: „Did you sleep well?" She tried to be polite, tried not to twitch and beating down the need to run away and to hide, to just finding a life she could live peacefully. Instead she stayed and looked around her like a prisoner for any kind of possibilty for escape. To him she seemed lost and afraid. Lost like Red Riding Hood in the forest, alone and all on her own – and in some way she truly was alone. Good. That could only come to his advantage, using her fears against her to control her.

„Yes, I did, thank you for asking.", his answer was shallow and he hated small talk or having to hold on to pleasantries, however, he had played the role of Prefect and teachers pet so well now it came as second nature to him.

„Hungry?", he asked and she nodded her stomach grumbling softly at the thought of breakfast.

A/N: Alright, I had to replace the chapters, because I don't get how the formating in works?

Now I had to use those horizontal lines for changes in the scenes so that the chapters make sense. Ugh, how aggravating...