Severus Snape was very sure that just until a moment ago he had been dying. The final strike from Nagini's fangs, the gushing blood, the Potter boy with the insufferable know-it-all and the red-haired dunderhead, the memories he gave them, letting them slip right out of him, and the green eyes. It was all real as far as he knew. So was he dead? His thoughts lasted a minute before there was nothing.

It was the first time he felt it, he felt what "nothing" felt like, well it felt like there was well, nothing but ironically there was so much more to that. It was something he couldn't express in words or describe in any way. But he could feel it. Until his thoughts materialized again.

"Is it really possible? To know so much and not know anything at the same time?" Well yes, since he felt it. "So this is what death feels like." He thought, but surprisingly, his thoughts were simply devoid of sarcasm.

This was not what he had imagined. Is this peace? Was he "resting in peace"? The thought was so strange that he almost thought it was funny but at the same time, it was not funny at all. As he reflected on his life, he realized that he wasted it. And this made him feel depressed and sick. A whole life wasted. He had got nothing out of his life and now, it was over. He stopped thinking and again he felt it. He felt "the nothing" and it lasted too long.

Suddenly, he felt something. His instincts held on to that and he focused on whatever that something was. Then it happened, his instincts fired up and told him that this something was a person. Literally, a big "was". Whoever this person was, is no more, just like him. He felt pained. Not physical pain, no, he did not have a body anymore. But it was definitely pain. The pain of loneliness and, the pain of death. And it was somehow too much to bear even for him.

He couldn't take it anymore, he wanted out. He wanted a life. Any life. He wouldn't waste it again like his last one. He pleaded to anything and everything. He wanted another chance. He knew there was no such thing but he pleaded anyway. He begged for life. "I know I've made so many mistakes and I know I probably don't deserve it but just once more, even if it's just as painful as the one I had, just once more I want to live. I'll do better, I'll do the best I can, so please….just once more…please".

He felt that there was a light pull nearby, he imagined moving towards it. He wanted to be pulled out of this, whatever this was. And he was. As he focused on it and he was pulled with more force, then suddenly, it was a whole new level of unbearable. He could no longer formulate even a single coherent thought. And suddenly it stopped. Again there was the "nothing".

He felt that presence again. No real words were exchanged but he "felt". He felt like it was reaching out to him, for a moment, he took relief from the presence, then it happened again, the unbearable pull and then the sudden stop. It felt like something was telling him to remember all this. But why?

He felt heavy and so tired that he couldn't open his eyes anymore. "Wait, what?"

"I feel heavy. I can feel something?"

He did everything he could, with all the force and will power he could muster and suddenly he could open his eyes. A sudden burst of happiness filled his heart. "Am I alive again? Did you accept my prayers? Can I live then, just one more time?" he thought. And he felt his tears stinging in his eyes as they flowed freely. The surroundings were hazy but he was alive again, he could live life again.

He saw Lupin. A much younger Lupin but it was definitely him.

"Lupin?" He had hated the werewolf in his previous life but right now he could not contain his happiness to see him. To see that he was no longer alone and to see a familiar face undid him. He hugged him and held onto him for dear life and he cried his heart out on his shoulder. The tears didn't stop and they flowed uncontrollably. But for once he didn't care. So he held him even closer and kept crying like that till he blacked out.

"How are you feeling now Mister Snape?" asked a familiar voice.

Poppy. It had to be her. He tried to get up with every ounce of effort he could muster. He focused his eyes to look at her and when he did she looked a lot younger but he was suddenly so happy to be alive again that he didn't care. His tears wouldn't stop and he made no effort on that front. He was overwhelmed, and that was putting it lightly. And he fell back exhausted. And then he slept. For the first time ever, he felt truly peaceful.

How much time had passed, he did not know. But he remembered everything. In fact, he saw things with a new perspective and felt the kind of clarity he never felt in his life before. When he was alive the last time (his last life), he had looked forward to death. He had imagined pain or happiness but the "nothing" shook him a whole different way. He didn't want that. He realized it now, life was always better. He wanted to live no matter the hurt, no matter the pain. He wanted to wake up again.

He felt better. He slowly attempted to open his eyes again and was pleasantly surprised to know that he could do so without much effort, so he sat up and looked around at his surroundings. He was in the school's infirmary.

He sat there for a while soaking in the surroundings, the way the breeze felt against his skin and a welcoming feeling of hunger in his stomach.

He heard footsteps nearing his bed. "Mister Snape? Are you awake now dear? How are you feeling? Do you feel any light-headedness?" the matron asked kindly.

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you."

Suddenly he realized that he felt much smaller. He looked at his hands and feet and found that somehow he had shrunk.

"That's good to hear Mister Snape. You really gave us a scare." She handed him a potion and gestured for him to take it.

" Go on dear, it will make you feel better."

He drank it without question and then took the opportunity to ask, "What happened?"

"What is the last thing you recall before passing out?" she asked.

"I got bit by that stupid snake and then…"

"Snake? But when I diagnosed you there was no visible mark of a snake bite nor was there any poison in your system. Are you sure it was a snake bite?"

He thought for a while. He had been through a lot so perhaps he should gather himself first before saying anything else instead of looking like a complete dunderhead.

"I'm not sure. I'm sorry." He said.

"Not to worry dear. Whatever it was, it seems like you're feeling better now. You can rest for tonight and after I run a few more diagnostic spells tomorrow morning, you should be good to get back to your classes. But I do recommend you to take things easy for a while and come to me if you feel any discomfort what-so-ever" she said while already running a few of her diagnostic spells on him.

"Thank you so much"

She was a little taken aback by the genuine gratitude in his voice and wondered briefly on what brought it on. She smiled none-the-less and left him to get some much-needed rest.

He didn't feel like sleeping anymore. So he looked around and found his old book bag which he had used almost through all his student years. Curiosity took over and he opened it and went through its contents and found that everything inside belonged to him albeit in his childhood. Suddenly on instinct, he conjured a mirror and looked at himself and found that he looked like his childhood-self most likely at around thirteen or fourteen years old.

It was surprising, to say the least. He thought hard about how this came to be. He had died. He experienced death for what felt like an eternity. In death, he had begged whatever or whoever for another chance at life. Any life, because he just wanted to live again no matter how painful. And he felt something. His instincts told him to remember this. Whatever this nothing was. And he remembered seeing Lupin who also looked the same age as he himself looked like right now. Then he blacked out and ended up in the infirmary. So was his wish granted? Was he alive again but in his past instead of the present? Or was this some kind of illusion? What was happening?

He had so many questions but the relief he felt for just 'being' was overpowering everything else. As long as he could live again nothing else mattered. If he somehow traveled back to his past and is living his life all over again then it was great. He could undo all of his mistakes. If this was only an illusion, he would still be happy to live it. As long as he was living anything it would be okay with him.

His thoughts were interrupted by a student who came to the infirmary complaining of stomach ache and the matron rushed to the student and started fussing over him. After she had finished with the student, Severus politely asked her if he could talk to her. Keeping in mind his situation he decided not to call her Poppy.

"Madam Pomfrey, could you please tell me what year this is?" he inquired.

"Mister Snape are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I just feel a little disoriented, could you please tell me what day and year this is?"

She looked at him with worry clearly written all over her face. But she replied anyway.

"It's 9th January 1973 dear"

So he was right. He was about thirteen years old now. He was somehow in the past. And 9th January? Today was his birthday. He was dead was given another chance at life. He was born again in his thirteen-year-old body. That or this was some kind of illusion but he didn't care. Now that he had a life again he would use it well. He would do his best.

"It doesn't seem like there is anything wrong with you physically Mister Snape. Have you been under any stress lately?"

Stress? That was putting it lightly.

"To be honest, yes, a little. It's personal. But I feel much better now. Thank you for everything. If it's okay I think I should sleep some more."

"Of course dear, you should rest some more." She said and decided to go back to her office and turn in for the night. It had been a long day.

The next morning, Madam Pomfrey gave him one last through check-up before deciding to let him out of the infirmary and declared that he could now continue with his classes. He thanked her and headed out to whatever class he had.

If he was here in the past then lily would be here too. The thought filled him with so much happiness and with that possibility, he ran to find her.

By the time he reached the great hall, he was panting. His eyes were moving so fast to find her that his head was half-spinning. Then he saw her. A thirteen-year-old Lily. She was not Lily Potter yet. She was still his friend- Lily Evans. She was eating a slice of bread talking to Lupin. Her eyes were wide like she heard something surprising and there was worry in her eyes. The other three Marauders were there too. It looked like Black said something that was meant to be funny because they were laughing. He didn't care about any of that. "Lily" She was alive and well and so nothing else mattered. He ran towards her.

"Lily!"

"Sev? What happened? Are you alright?"

Just listening to her voice and knowing that she was alive was enough. He felt overwhelmed again and he hugged her tightly.

"Lily" he breathed.

"Sev? What's wrong? What happened?" she asked again.

"I'm so sorry Lily, I never meant to but I did. And I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" Tears were flowing down his face but he didn't care.

"What happened Sev? And why are you sorry? Just tell me, what's wrong? Did something happen at home?" She asked panicking.

"No, nothing happened at home. I'm so happy to see you again. It's been so long. Too long"

"What? But we saw each other in the potions class just yesterday. What do you mean it's been too long? Are you okay?"

It was really hard to control himself. She was Lily and she was here alive breathing. They were friends. He didn't want to lose her again. So he struggled to pull some measly occlumency shields and calmed himself.

" I just really missed you," he said.

"Looks like old Snivelly's lost it. Looks like all that grease from his hair finally seeped into his brain!" Black said drawing laughter from everyone nearby.

"Shut it Potter or I'll hex you bald!" Lily yelled and looked back to Severus with worry in her eyes.

"Sev are you alright?" she asked with concern.

"I'm fine now," he said and hugged her again.

The looks he was getting from the Gryffindors suddenly didn't mean a thing. He had lived a miserable life. He had experienced the pain of death and now he was back. Well, way back. But everything was worth it if he could see Lily again. He asked if he could sit with her and joined her for breakfast. All the comments about how Slytherins should sit at their own table with their own kind and all the insults thrown at him fell on deaf ears. He was happy. And nothing else mattered.