"Tell me once again
I could have been anyone, anyone else
Before you made the choice for me
My feet knew the path
We walked in the dark, in the dark
I never gave a single thought
To where it might lead."- The moon will sing by the crane wives.

Chapter 7: Books aren't going to save you.

Hikori collects me from my studies with a knowing smirk across his face, he was also sparkling clean. I quirk my eyebrows up at him, wondering what he was up to now. He better not do what he did last time, his sort of fun wasn't mine. The other day, he had decided I needed to get out of this 'stuffy place' and took me a social place for teens to gather with their guardians. It was awkward and all I wanted to do was read, beside the girls who coon at my 'pretty face boy.' The boys spoke behind my back about my strange behaviour and that I was a 'rich snooty kid.' It was a situation to be in, one I highly disliked.

The other guardians were obviously friends of Hikori, which I tried to stick around before Hikori told me to hang with my own age. It was like he thinks I could easily make friends with people, it was a miracle I was even friends with Mori and Honey. If the world didn't bring us together, I doubt we would've ever talked. Let just say I was happy when we left that place for good, I told Hikori never again. He sighed dramatically but nodded nonetheless. He hadn't tried that again. Jon's and Hikori concern for my social life was both sweet and an annoyance. I was happy with what I had.

Hikori brings me out to the Garden, a place on an odd occasion on a lovely day I would sit out and read in. I notice a table was set with tea and biscuits, a mixture of chocolate chips and cream vanilla sandwich biscuits. A little jug of milk for the other guest also sat on the tray which meant I wasn't sitting with Grandpa, Jon or Hikori. We all like our tea black. Hikori made me take a seat and to wait, which I did as he left.

I fiddled with my long sleeve top as I felt both confused on who our guest could be. A buzz of my phone takes me out of my thoughts as I take it out of my jean pockets, a picture of me from Honey. The text right under made me smile, 'I'm keeping this cute picture of you, you never send me any!' before I drop the phone as I realised that the only way for them to get a picture of me meant. I look up to see Honey waving his phone on Mori shoulder with a smile, Mori who usually looked serious had his lips slightly lifted.

"Tyler-kun~" Honey calls out, as he jumps from Mori shoulders. He runs towards me like the quick panther he was that once he clutches me into a hug, I found myself toppling on to grass. I was easy prey for Honey. I wince at the impact, that didn't matter as I pull Honey into a hug. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too, Hani-Senpai." I whisper back, ruffling his hair. We laugh a little, mainly at our childish conduct. Mori leans over us with his hand outstretched for the both of us. Honey jumps back up and I take Mori hand to get up with. He pulls me up like I weigh nothing, exactly I think he thought I weigh more too with the strength he used because I end up falling into hugging the front of his top to stop myself from toppling over.

"Um..." I blush a little. "I didn't realise you missed me that much too, Mori-Senpai."

He hums as he pats my head, making realise I can let go now of his top. As he was about to open his mouth, we hear a little clicking to our side and we both turn our head to Honey jumping on his feet happily with his phone. "You look good together, Mori-kun!" Honey teases, showing us the picture he had captured. "Maybe I should show Tyler-kuns fan group." I didn't question why he or Mori knew about it, hearing those words were terrifying. That fan group was crazy for this stuff.

If the girls at the school get this, I'm not going to hear the end of it!

I chase after honey leaving Mori behind, not taking note of the red flush of colour that gather upon Mori cheeks. I couldn't help laugh out with our silly antics; I swear Honey brought out the kid in me. I eventually captured him, wrapping him up in my arms again as we tumble on the grass. Once we both stop, both back on the grass again with us breathing heavy. Honey leans up with a big smile that be both share before bursting out in laughter again, a deep chuckle mingle in with ours.

I notice Mori across the grass with his mouth covered by his hand and I couldn't help but stop. Listening to both Honey and Mori laugh was like honey and lemon, it was sickly refreshing. When all done and dusted, we eventually sat down for a fresh cup of tea. I noticed Hikori got another warm patch in our childish banter, his smile was wide and his eyes sparkle as If happy to see me act this way. If we didn't have these two here, would he been crying?

The rest of our time was spent talking, mainly Honey further discussing the places they been and seen. I was happy to see him more relax here, chewing on biscuits and drinking tea with me. By the time they had to go, I didn't want them to leave. It had been the most fun I've had in the last 2 weeks, and as much I say all I want to do is read, is lie I told myself. Being here with Mori and Honey are times when I feel like I can be young, be the kid I am. With their time, they had barrel through at my side. No matter how much I read or studied. They never commented on it, instead they just were there beside me and I am thankful for it.

I wave them out the door as their own car came to pick them up, Honey gave me another hug. "Next time, you should come to one of ours!" Honey declares before climbing up Mori shoulders. Mori gives me a nod of his head which I return before watching them head on their way home. Once nestled safely in their car, I gave them one more wave before the car moves away. In the distance the sun was starting to settle into the hues of orange and pink. I couldn't help but memorize the sight; it had been a beautiful day with my best friends.

Dinner later that day was with the presence of Grandpa, that something that happens to be random very often. We sat across each other as we slice our meat, something that was odd yet understandable about the Honyaku's was their love for European food and cutlery. It's something in which I was brought up with formal training for both cultures table manners, being that the Honyaku's clients are worldwide; they have this basic understanding at the very least.

He settles his cutlery down, his eyes train onto me. "How about we go out tomorrow?" He asks, wiping his lips politely with the tablecloth. "I saw an interesting place to eat you might like."

I stop mid cutting my chicken. "What type of place is it?"

He taps his nose with his pointer finger. "It's a surprise."

I swallow a sigh at Grandpa antics. "So even if I say no, we're still going."

"Yes." Was all Grandpa says, smiling widely.

I continue to finish my meal, you can't argue with the adult of the house. Plus a meal out sounds nice, we had done a couple meals out last week which were fun. I couldn't help but note today as one of my best days so far in this life, hopefully the rollercoaster is still going upwards.

That night I sat on the bed gazing out of the window, the radio on a low to not disturb the other resident in the manor. Sat on my lap was the picture album the orphanage had given me; I had been flickering through it. Most of the pictures of me when I was little were of me reading or holding a book, majority of my peers clung to their toys or each other. I was the odd one of the bunch; I was rarely seen without a book. In some of those pictures, if looked closely at you could see bruising around my cheeks and wrist.

I wasn't very liked by my peers before now. To most kids, being the massive bookworm I am had unsettled them. They didn't understand that a book to me was like a teddy for them, it was a comfort object. It's probably why Grandpa forceful slaps didn't have me wailing like most kids, beside the other life knowledge. I had already experienced rough housing with my peers; they especially dislike how I didn't fully interact with them as I got older. I guess that's why I'm terrible at making friends the 'normal' way, however you do that. Never really learnt at a young age, plus being older mentally didn't help.

But those are things in the past and slowly I was moving forward as a person. Today was a reminder of that, I had more than books. I had staff that are like family, friends who care more about me than business relations and a grandpa who has been raising me up. I know where I came from but I'm grateful for the pieces of my life that have been falling aimlessly, have now found their place. I have a constant, an anchor and memories that I will hold dearly in these tiny hands.

I fell asleep with the album beside me as my thoughts brought me into slumber. Waiting the next day in which I and Grandpa spend a fun day outside. The only way is up, right?

The morning and lunch passed by quickly with my nose in my books and hiding from Asahi-sensei, I was not in the mood to be sweaty today. Especially since I was going out with Grandpa for fun, I didn't feel up to being a jelly legs because of Sensei harsh training in the gym. Plus, the one time he was happy with me disappeared, he was back to his grumpy self. A very ironic type of attitude for a man whose name means sunlight.

Soon, Jon was knocking on my wardrobe door. Somehow he always knew where I had hidden in this place. I push the door open, to see Jon smirking at me. "Just like I say Master, he was hiding from Asahi-kun."

I blink at that, sensei younger than Jon. Grandpa came into view as I climbed out of the wardrobe as I nervously stood up. Was I going to get into trouble? Instead Grandpa laughs. "He very much like I was as a kid." He comments, smiling up at me. His smiles were always awkward and crooked but it was the only smile I knew from him, at least it's warm. His fine line smile was kept for his clients.

"He is, isn't he?"Jon rhetorically answers. His arms folded and sighs, "All the stories father used to tell me of you, Master, have been very similar to what I know of Tyler."

Grandpa seems to stop laughing, "Your father was my best friend in those days." He ruffles my hair for a moment before leaning down, I did notice he was thinking of kneeling with the slight bent movement before he wince and change his stance. "If no one knew you were adopted, they'll think you were a true Honyaku heir."

"Grandpa, what do you mean?" I ask, confused. Wouldn't my hair alone give that away?

"You're very similar to us characteristics wise, a bookworm to the core." He answers, taking the book that is in my hand to make a point. He bumps it on my head before passing it to Jon to put away. "Now, don't we have a meal to get to kid?"

I nod excitedly. I take his plumb, wrinkled hand as we leave the room and head down to where Hikori waited for us. One of Grandpa's Guards stood beside him and them both half bows to us in greeting. Jon behind us; nods with Grandpa in some silent agreement. He leaves us to do whatever task he was left with by Grandpa. I watch him leave, Grandpa never went anywhere without Jon these days. I click my tongue to my cheek in thought; it didn't last long enough to fully question the odd behaviour as Grandpa took me forward to the car.

Before I know it, we're all seated into the car and plugged in. Hikori in the driver seat with the Guard beside him, Grandpa sat in the back with me, where he can stretch his legs if need be. His body wasn't what it once used to be, just the common curse of old age that brings on arthritis. We don't say a word, as Grandpa pulls his glasses on from his head to his nose as he picks through the newspaper that was left in the car. Most likely, he had requested for it to be put there for him. I eye it with envy before sighing when Grandpa doesn't even lift a single pupil towards me after a solid five minutes.

I instead pull my own glasses off and play with them by opening and shutting them in my hands, the blur edges made the world more intriguing to look at. Almost like a mosaic painting when I didn't have the lenses on, the outside was much clearer since I was only short sighted. Probably from all that reading had worn my eyesight or just plain old genetics in the works. I push them back on when my phone buzzes from the inside of my suit jacket. I take it out and check what had been sent my way, a picture of Honey and Mori greets me. This time, it looks to be someone else had taken the picture. Probably Mori's younger brother or one of their fathers, considering the two were both training in their material arts space meant neither could've taken the picture. Underneath the image was a text from Honey with the words. 'I'm so bored Tyler-kun, I hope we can hang out soon.'

I couldn't help but smile at that, it felt very similar to the text I sent him the week before. Less active to his own family training, but I did send him a picture of me drowning in my assigned paperwork. He had found that funny and cheered me on.

Tyler: It was literally yesterday we hung out, Hani-senpai.

Hani: That doesn't matter Tyler-kun, I want to hang out again.

Tyler: And we will, I promise.

Hani: Yay!

I chuckle as I place the phone back into my pockets. Grandpa was still glued to the newspaper; the two at the front were speaking quietly between them as I started to wonder where this place Grandpa was taking me too. He had said a surprise and that was new, since the last few times I had been told where we were going. Then I remember back to odd behaviour between Grandpa and Jon from earlier and I lick my lips, nervous at how my question will come across. "Hey, Grandpa…why isn't Jon joining us?"

He stops; the sound of flickering paper is gone as he murmurs much too quietly for me before giving me his eyes. My reflection stares through his glasses lens. He begins to open his mouth before we feel the strange rumble of the wheels twist under us, we both turn our heads to the front of the car. Another car going straight with their light blaring at us in broad daylight and I shut my mouth quickly, knowing this was a deliberate attack. I pull my glasses off at the same time as Grandpa, both prepare for the impact that's heading towards us. What felt like hours with our movements stuck slowly getting in place, Hikori doing anything to twist the car away as the light flashes and blares through the tinted windows.

We crash.

We clash together.

I scream as something pops from my side on impact. Everything blanks out for a couple of minutes in a pain induced haze, and then I wake to beeping from the headboard of the car. I glanced over to the side, pain flared up my side as the seatbelt dug into my body as both a saving clutch and a painful catch. We had landed sideways, my body pulling downwards towards where Grandpa Body lays. He was bleeding from his head; I tried to reach for his wrist so I could just feel if he was still breathing as I felt cold dreaded bubbles boil their way up my throat. I couldn't reach and fear dug itself up as I looked over at the front, not hearing anyone else come to, especially when I couldn't reach out to anyone to wake them up.

"Hi-Hik, Hikori." I called to the front me, his face laying in what was an airbag now deflated. It looks like he was cut up a little from the glass but nothing surface level seems wrong. Still it didn't do anything to ease me as I felt panic start to rattle my bones, I couldn't risk undoing the belt since I could hurt Grandpa further and plus any movement, strung burning stings up my side. I was utterly trapped and I needed out soon. I was alone, for the first time in this life, I was utterly alone.

I cried, I let the tears drop as I shook in the aftermath as I clutched my side. I had to think, think you idiot! I felt my phone in my pocket and I knew what to do, I dragged it out and dialled the numbers that have been recited since I was a little kid. A lady on the phone picked up and I choked out my answers as we spoke, she ease me as I was told that the ambulance had already been sent my way as someone had beat me to the punch of reporting, she asked a question of my own and the other condition as we waited for help. I tried to reply at the best I could in my entangled position, she understood as I started to shake and scramble with my words.

When someone finally came to our rescue, a fresh layer of tears left my eyes as I both cut and lifted out alongside Hikori. Then came Grandpa and the Guard as we all pulled into two separate ambulances on separate stretchers, I begged to be put on the same one as Grandpa but they wouldn't have it as they took us in. My phone still clutched in my hands as they drove away, I stayed laying down now knowing that something was definitely broken. The employees try to talk to me as I try to reply but I felt cold and tired, wanting nothing more for this all to be a nightmare.

A week later I was informed of my Grandpa's death, due to multiple complications.

He was gone.

Eventually, the messenger had left me to grieve. I pulled the hospital sheets closer to me as I cried into them; I felt a part of me had been ripped out right there and then at the words spoken to me. The only other person to raise me beside Carol, was now gone. I will never have another cup of tea with him; never get another lecture on my manners or skills. No more praises when speaking another tongue in the rare evening we spent together. No more having to hide the fact Sousuke had once again stolen another packet of his favourite instant ramen. No more Grandpa in my life.

I cough amongst my tears, snot nose and red faced. I shook and rattle, once more feeling like I was back in that car. I wanted nothing more than to rewind time right now, to tell him how much I loved him, how much I cherished him no matter how unperfected he was. Even though he had flaws, he was the man who took me in, the man who spent most of his days with me. He was mine. Just wished I had more time to be with him, to have him watch me grow up, to watch his revenge work in action. But he was gone.

I stayed that day in that cold hospital bed soaking in my tears. I wanted nothing more to have someone wrap me in their arms, to tell me that I was not alone, that we'll get through this together. No one ever came, not even Jon came by. I felt like I was sinking and the anchor I thought I had, has since long broken off. I was drowning in the salty ocean sea, as if the currents had swept me under its wings and no one was willing to pull me up anytime soon. That no one remembered I was here, linked to a boat that once was shining had rotten and rusted beside me.

Then, someone came. The least likely person to walk in and wrap me in their arms was and is my anchor. They pull me out of the blue seas, pulling me upwards to them as I choke and splutter the liquid emotion that I had been choking on moments before.

I clutch him closer, both shocked and just a little happy he was here as my tears started to dry out. I hiccup into his shoulder as he stays hunched over me. He didn't say a word, he didn't need to. Him being here in my time of need was more than anything.

I was not alone.

"Name your courage now
We could have had anything, anything else
Instead you hoarded all that's left of me
Swallowing your doubt
Like swords to pit of my belly
I want to feel the fire
That you kept from me

The moon will a song for me
I loved you like the sun
Bore the shadows that you made
With no light of my own
I shine only with the light you gave me
I shine only with the light you gave me
I shine only with the light you gave me
I shine only with the light you gave me" - The moon will sing by the crane wives.