"Each day when I arise
I find the love of my life
But my touch to her is strange
And I have nothing to say
She takes a part of me, says no goodbye
Oh, please
Just breathe
Just breathe
Just breathe
There's a vacuum in my mind
Stars collapsing in my eyes
I live my life but it's not mine
Just breathe."- Just Breathe by the unlikely candidates.
Chapter 8: It is time to close the book, Tyler.
The sun shone, gleaming brightly down on us. Most, when before this scene usually is under the overly dramatic scene of rain. This isn't a story; this isn't some kind of book told through someone else's guiding hands, because this is my life. My life where the one person I loved more than the breath I took each day was no longer here, to share air with. Reality was harsher, since it doesn't give the impacts that happen within our hearts, nor does it reflect us. Instead, seated here before his name was cold against the uncomfortable soft breeze and tweeting of the birds fluttering past.
I sat before his gravestone not by choice, for my hip had been dislocated in the accident and is now on the mend. With special permission from my doctor, I was given the chance to see Grandpa's burial grounds. Hikori stood behind me, his hand grasping the handle bars of the wheelchair tightly; it was the most expression I was going to get out of him. I could only stare at it, where the bright sunflowers sat in a vase and they just hung beside his name. Elric Honyaku, bore back at me for the first time, a name that has never passed by me in my few years being a part of the family. There were many things I didn't know about Grandpa, his ultimate demise has made me notice this. Hikori was right; I should've asked more questions.
I felt empty and confused as I stared in front of me, where his picture also sat staring back with his crooked smile. Incenses have been lit by Hikori earlier as we had paid our respect. It still didn't feel real, it just didn't. The flashing image of the last time I had seen him, bashed against the window, his glasses crack within his hand as blood dripped from his head. His hair was all clammed together and I clasped my hand around my mouth. I blink; the scene disappears and brings back forth the sight of stone and smoke from the incense.
I take a deep breath.
Another concern is that Jon hasn't shown his face, Hikori himself hadn't seen him in the recent weeks as he came to check the household. He now has taken on what was once Jon's position and with no one able to be there, he has been running the household; he also came regularly to check on me. He was the only one who came by to check on me. I have not seen nor tail of my adoptive parents, before I had left it to them to be busy with funerals and work. But they haven't left a note or text since the funeral has long passed.
"I wonder if he knew this was a possibility." I whisper staring at Grandpa Photograph; Just the buildup of events before the accident, the odd behavior between him and Jon, the quick reaction to the attack of the oncoming car. The random upkeep in needing bodyguards after so long of not having any. Jon always kept me away from certain files in his office when I had visited, the room which no one but I can now enter. He had left it to me in his will. It was just all too convenient. I sigh, because I won't find anything until I am able to return home. I glared at my leg with annoyance, why did it have to be me to get seriously hurt?
Hikori got lucky, very lucky. He sustained mainly minor injuries, all which can be cleaned up easily within twenty-four hours. Considering the seating and that he was at the front, he should've been the one of the worst injuries but due to the turning of the wheel the side of the car passengers got the most damage. I don't blame him, it was do first, think later sort of situation. Most of us got out of there, beside Grandpa.
"Time I take you back, master." Hikori tells me quietly as he starts to pull me away. I cringe at the title, but technically I was the new master of the house. He had never once even given up the title until it was pulled from his cold, dead hands. Now that he was no longer around to maintain it, I have no choice but to take his place. Just the idea of the paperwork waiting for me was something I didn't even want to think of. Oh so cold. Did the Honyaku's couple care at all?
I hold my hand up, palm flat like the stop signal. "Just one more thing please." I begged as I pulled out a small picture from my pocket, one I had picked up from the manor in our quick session to get me dressed in some of my more appropriate clothes and the staff packed some more clothes for when I returned to the hospital. "Can you put this on Grandpa's grave?" I passed it to Hikori; on the back was a handwritten note from me.
Hikori nodded, tucking the image into the side of the photo frame so that it won't fly into the summer breeze. The photo was of both us together, grandpa hand on my shoulder with us both in suits. He had that picture done after a year of being a part of the household. "What is it that you wrote on the back, if you don't mind me asking?" Hikori asked, I wanted to have told him off for his polite talk but I didn't have the energy to have a go.
I smile softly with a simple utter of "Que sera sera." Whatever will be, will be.
School had officially begun while I healed confined in a white room with white walls and white sheets. The school hasn't and doesn't know that I had also been part of the crash that had taken Grandpa away from me, no, they've been told I was on a current business trip with my adoptive father and will be doing class work from there. Considering my consistent high grades they let this go with a fine, nothing is free of course. It seriously angered me when Hikori informed me of this, there wasn't a reason given to us as to why this was made to be the case.
"Why lie, why hide I was part of the accident?" I was perplexed by this discovery.
"They didn't give me a reason why," he begins, he leans his face onto his hand that now was covered in thin scars. "I do however have theories to why."
"What would those be?"
"For your own protection." He states. "Whoever was targeting us that night was after your Grandpa. If they knew you were there, they might try and come back to finish the job."
I stare wide-eyed at him, mouth open like a fish out of water. "Isn't that like jumping to conclusions though?"
"Better safe than sorry in this situation." He points out, "You are invaluable to the Honyaku's."
At least, they cared somewhat.
And thus, the progress of healing took over my life in those few months confined in the hospital. Hikori would come by often with paperwork and news of the household, even telling me of how both Mori and Honey had come by to see if I was truly away on business. They, more Honey inclined, have been asking for pictures of me at my last-minute business trip in our text. Something I couldn't really do in the hospital bed and I just told him, it was boring and just piles of paper with nothing but technical language. I knew that both boys obviously knew something was up but couldn't put their fingers on it. It hurt not being able to confine in them however I had to go by adults ruling in this world.
Talking about the adults, they did finally contact me a couple days after I visited the grave. Sousuke's teary voice echoed throughout the call and I couldn't find it in my heart to say anything as he talked, discussing to me about not telling anyone that I was in the hospital. He also kept saying sorry repeatedly throughout the call as if that was going to make this whole situation better, I wanted to get angry but I was far too tired and empty over everything to even have the energy to try.
"Fine." I muttered over his multiple tears, "I promise I won't."
"Thank you Tyler!" He says, ruffling sleeves and papers could be heard as he spoke. "Once again-"
"Shouldn't you get back to work?" I tell him instead, already had enough of his supply of empty words.
"Yes, but –"
"Then there isn't anything to else discuss." I stopped him, just wanting this phone call to end. "I hope you have a good day, goodbye Honyaku-san." I hung up before he could reply and put the phone to my bedside.
The phone did keep ringing for the rest of the day and I ignored it. Luckily Hikori wasn't around to tell me off for this behaviour. Times like this, I remembered I was allowed to act out. Especially when my adoptive parents hadn't come to see me not even once while I was at the hospital. In the time I needed them most, they weren't around. So I decided there and then, I wasn't going to get close to them since long ago when I was adopted they hadn't even tried once. He gave up calling after that day.
Hikori did still tell me off for doing that to the head of the family, he's learnt not to call him my father in front of me. He knew how uncomfortable that made me, to call someone's father when he's never stepped up for the job, just never going to sit well with me. He didn't deserve the title in my books. He may have adopted me but Grandpa had been the one to raise me in his absence. I choke at the thought and grasp my shoulders as I shook, I felt cold and wanted nothing more to go home, to step up the stairs into his office and give him a hug.
But he isn't here anymore. I reminded myself, clutching myself closer. The image of that night flashing between my eyes and the bubble of a sticky substance crawled up my throat, similar to the feeling of furry spider legs climbing up my back. I swallow deeply, trying anything in my might to keep the dark thoughts away. I know it was going to take it time, it wasn't the first time I had been deep in grief. The first was when I realised I was never going to see my original family.
I just hadn't noticed how attached I had become to them, both Grandpa and Jon. One who has disappeared with no trace and the other buried in the ground. It hurt, god did it hurt more than any words I could find encased in Honyaku's endless library. It was something I couldn't bear alone, so when Hikori came over, he wrapped me in his arms and let me cry into his clean shirts. My anchor was him when I felt like I was drowning, he held me tight and told me soothing words that I needed to hear.
It was sad, but some promises had to be broken, right Jon?
Those months had been made bearable with Hikori and I felt blessed to have such a good caretaker. It still did seem strange how the timing of everything before now had been almost panned like clockwork, I had told Hikori of this, he had found it strange as well but couldn't find any evidence to say it was so. We both gave up with theories and got on with life, between everything and the grieving. I caught sight of a particular family walking the private halls of the hospital, one that wasn't strange to this type of business.
I had caught eyes with Ootori Kyoya, whose eyebrows merely quirk slightly at my presence in the hospital. I was clutching on a frame, slowly working my leg back when he had come passed with his father in tow, too busy talking to his business partner to notice I was there. I brought a single finger to my lips, telling him to keep quiet on this matter. He smirks yet still nodded before walking away, the whole exchange happened in a matter of minutes. I knew when I went back to school; I was going to get blackmailed into something I am going to regret. Luckily, I didn't see him again.
This wasn't one of Ootori hospitals however one of their partners' business, so it's very rare for them to visit them. I guess the Honyaku couple were trying their best to avoid the rich families while I was here; life wasn't going to have it that way for me. Once I got back to the bed, I groaned into my heads at my stupid bad luck. I just couldn't win in this life.
By the time October came around, I was able to walk with a single clutch. I was finally released from the hospital and allowed to go home. I couldn't wait to get out of this place and bury myself in my own bed sheets. Hikori came and took me home that evening and sat down and had dinner with me and then helped me up the stairs for a bath. Maids waited for me at the bathroom door, I looked at them all with confusion.
"I can wash myself." I told them, which they laughed slightly.
"You're still healing, Master." Hikori tells me as he pat me on the back. "Plus, as the Honyaku's family we already know your real gender."
"Oh." Is all I could say to that, I was surprised by the fact that the whole time, they all knew. When Honyaku's meant family they also meant the staff. I never registered it that way. The maids took me from Hikori, helped me in the bath, get dressed and then sent me to bed.
Seeing the little space below still intact, I couldn't help eyeing it with sadness. I couldn't climb down there for a while longer and so I climbed into the bed above and fell asleep with ease. This bed was and is much more comfortable than the hospital ones.
The next day, I took the chance to explore Grandpa Office; my heart panged just standing in the door before I forced myself to look around. The room felt like it was almost untouched since that night beside the paperwork on his desk being moved to my own bedroom. I haven't got the heart to use his office at the moment, maybe later when I am more able to bear the thought he was gone. The little fireplace however looked like it had been used as I got closer, I couldn't lean down but I could see some paper ends had been burnt. Grandpa never used the fireplace in the summer. I frown; I decided to look through the files cabinet, the one I was never allowed to look at.
As I went through them, most was full until I got to the bottom one where there was a gap of files missing and a section made blank. Whatever had been there had been burnt in the fire. I guess Jon had been the one to get rid of that sector, as I used my clutch to pull the file bit apart to see if anything had been left, there was a note and I found myself calling for Hikori who came quickly.
"What is it Master?" he asks as his eyes wander around the office, his hand clutch at his side. He was also affected by the loss of Grandpa. He would never say it though.
"I found something strange, can you pull it out?" I asked him, as his green follows where my clutch was and he came over to pull the note out. He eyed it in confusion before pasting it to me.
"It's in another language, do you think you can read it?" he enquires as he watches me look over the note.
The English words on the note burnt more than I felt they would as I let them slip from my fingers. The one person I trusted, the person we all thought great things about, the one which had disappeared hadn't left without saying anything. That something wasn't something I could stomach at the time. I was already struggling with the acceptance of my grandpa's death, I didn't need this too.
"Tyler, what did it say?" Hikori asked softly as he watched me clutch my teeth, trying to just breathe carefully. "Tyler?"
"It's time we close this chapter of Honyaku's misdeeds." I recited in a whisper, I clutch my eyes shut. "The handwritings…" I took one deep breath before confessing. "It's Jon's."
Hey everyone,
we are getting close to ending the first arch of Tyler story, to put it simply the arch are something like this (no spoilers.):
Arch 1: Tyler backstory. (Before the host club.)
Arch 2: The beginning of the Host club and Tyler relationship with them.
Arch 3: Haruhi finally enters the picture, the anime/manga begins!
Arch 4: The beginning of romance and confessions, between who, who knows. Time only tells.
Arch 5: The conclusion, the end.
Extra: I might include extra chapters of 'could've been' and 'after stories: after uni.' if people ask for them.
this is a very basic and not an detailed arch, but idea for you what I have in sort-of in plan for you, to come across in the future. I've barely made a dent in my story, we've got quite a bit more to go, so I hope you all will be happy to stay for the long ride!
Myu 3
Reviews from Chapter 6 and 7:
Mr Meowington: Its is an emotional rollarcoaster, slowly we getting to the end of 'Arch 1' of this story. I'm happy that I can bring out your emotions.
Animie02fruit: Your welcome. I am sorry for the abundance of tears, sadly, some things just have to come to an end.
Cherry92: I noticed, took me second to link who I am talking too.
1) Its fine to speculate, part of reading a story is it not? but yes there's more to this story, we've barely begun, this is merely the first arch as you could say. Since you're seeing everything from Tyler's side, your only seeing it from one persons view so that heavily keeps you away from knowing much in the first place. She is basically 12 at this point, even with her maturity and extra knowledge from being reborn, she is still a child (to everyone around her,). That can be very restrictive in what she knows.
2) Well, pull to many layers and your gonna cry at some point.
3) Thank you, I thought Tamaki would cry at the idea of hearing home, I couldn't see him playing around especially when being taken away from his mother and home country, though at least he knows his father (Manga.) Hearing home for the first time in weeks/months would make anyone cry and sentimental. Once he had settle (by the time he goes to school.) he gets back to being, well, him.
Once anything thank you!
Margarita effect: Thank you and welcome! Sorry, I think I chop to many onions in that last chapter!