Elizabeth had never seen Nathan look so tortured. His eyes held such pain and grief, it took every ounce of willpower she had to not gather him in her arms once more. She stood, letting her hand linger on his arm before taking her seat again. The seconds stretched on as they looked at each other. Elizabeth blushed, feeling suddenly self-conscious under Nathan's gaze.

She had run to him in front of the entire town. She had held him very intimately and not let go. He had to know she felt something for him. Everyone else certainly did by now; news traveled fast in their small town.

But she also knew he felt something for her. He'd said so in his own way. Telling her she mattered to him. Saying she was special in the stables. She knew Nathan didn't use words to flatter or to win her favor; he spoke them because he meant them. He was genuine.

And he had asked her out. That spoke volumes as well. She hid a smile as she remembered the many times he had tried to ask her before getting interrupted. When he finally did ask, she hadn't been able to give him an answer. The feelings between them had become a little too real in that moment, and she hadn't known what her heart wanted. Gracious as he was, Nathan told her to let him know when she was ready.

All along, Nathan had been telling her to let him know when she figured out what was in her heart. The first time was at the pond, when she'd been despondent over the future of her writing.

She'd told him about Lucas' words to her earlier that week, that the best writing comes from the heart. He'd looked down momentarily, then smiled back at her.

So what's in your heart? His gaze had been so open, so direct. Her heart had fluttered in her chest as she looked back at him. He'd merely smiled again and turned toward his horse. You let me know when you figure it out.

They hadn't been talking about her book. He'd meant something much deeper. It was a question she had been avoiding for months, but in that moment when she'd thought Nathan was dead, she'd known the answer with a startling clarity.

Nathan was in her heart. It was time he knew that.

"Nathan, I…" she started, just as Nathan said, "Elizabeth, I…"

They both laughed nervously. Nathan gave her a nod. "Ladies first."

Elizabeth drew in a deep breath, allowing herself to be more vulnerable than she had been in a long time. "You told me a long time ago to let you know when I figured out what was in my heart. Do you remember?"

He smiled, his eyes going soft. "I remember."

Elizabeth felt a lump form in her throat as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Why had it taken her so long to realize how much she cared for Nathan? Why had she allowed so much time to go by wasted? She and Jack had resolved to take things slowly in their relationship, and it had cost them the opportunity to experience married life together. She didn't want to make the same mistake again.

"Nathan, I want you to know I've figured it out." Her voice broke. "When I thought that was you lying there in that wagon and heard Carson say 'he's gone,' my heart shattered. I was afraid I had lost the opportunity to tell you that you matter to me too. I was afraid I'd lost the opportunity to tell you that yes, I would be happy to have dinner with you." She leaned forward. "I was afraid that I had lost you." She let out a little breath, shaking her head. "In that moment, I knew without a doubt that you are in my heart, Nathan. And you have been for quite some time. I just couldn't see it. Until now."

She watched as various emotions danced across his face. Relief. Joy. And anxiety.

Nathan stood and walked around his desk until he was standing in front of her. He leaned back, sitting on the edge of the desk. He reached out and took one of her hands in his. "Elizabeth, you have no idea how happy that makes me." A smile formed on his face, but it was a sad smile. "But…"

"But what?" Elizabeth asked, surprised at his reaction. Why was there a "but"?

He studied her, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand absentmindedly. "Elizabeth, what you just went through…" He trailed off again, clearly fighting for the right words. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "You were reminded of what happened to Jack, weren't you?"

"A little," Elizabeth admitted. "But that's not the point here."

"I think it might be," he said quietly, releasing her hand. "Sometimes when emotions and adrenaline are running high, we think we feel one way when the reality is something different."

Elizabeth felt a spark of anger. What was he saying? "You don't believe me?" she asked, rising from her chair and crossing her arms. "You think I'm just speaking from adrenaline?"

"I didn't say that!" Nathan said, raising his hands as he stood too.

"Well, you certainly implied it!" Elizabeth exclaimed, tilting her head to stare up at him. He certainly was a tall man. She had felt so safe nestled next to him, fitting right under his chin. Now his height seemed a little intimidating, but she wasn't about to back down. "You think I don't know my own heart?"

He stared at her for a moment, a spark lit in his eyes as well. "Excuse me for stating the obvious, but have you known your own heart in these past months?" He raised his brow. "If you remember, you acted as if Lucas had a piece of your heart too."

"Lucas was not in my heart," Elizabeth snapped.

"Really?" Nathan asked, mirroring her by folding his arms across his chest. "You could have fooled me."

"Lucas and I are friends, Nathan! I've made that clear to him. When he asked me to go to Union City, I told him it would be as friends or not at all."

Nathan didn't look convinced. "He certainly seems to think there's something more. You should have seen the look on his face when he saw us hugging in the street."

Some of the fight drained from Elizabeth. "He saw that?" She shifted a little as she realized what that meant. "I'm going to have to talk to him."

A guarded look filled Nathan's eyes. His lips pressed together into a thin line. Elizabeth gave him a look. "About how I want to be his friend and nothing more."

The guarded look lessened slightly. Nathan looked down, taking a deep breath. Letting it out, he looked back at her. "I don't want to fight with you, Elizabeth. I'm just concerned for your heart and for your feelings." He looked down again. "You've just been through a bit of a trauma, one that could easily dig up old memories." His eyes flashed with pain, but he continued. "I don't think this is the right time to make any decisions."

Elizabeth stared at him. "What are you saying, Nathan?"

He swallowed hard. "I'm saying...I'm saying that we should think about this."

"What on earth for?" Elizabeth spouted, aghast. "I know how I feel about you. What's there to think about?"

"Please, Elizabeth, don't make this harder…"

"I thought I'd lost you!" Elizabeth shouted, her hands going to her hips. "That told me how I felt about you! Why are you pushing me away?"

Nathan looked at a loss. "I'm not pushing you away…"

"Oh yes, you are!" She stepped closer to him, meeting his eyes and refusing to look away. "Why? What are you afraid of?"

"Afraid?" He met her stare, blue eyes locked on hers. "You want to know what I'm afraid of?"

"Yes, Nathan, I want to know what you're afraid of."

A fire burned in his gaze. "I'm afraid of hurting you."

She blinked, not expecting that answer. "What?"

He shook his head. "Not intentionally, but unintentionally. I'm afraid to ask you to care for another Mountie, Elizabeth. Nothing happened to me this time, but there's no guarantee the outcome would be the same next time. My job is dangerous. You know that better than most. I can't ask you to go through that again."

Elizabeth's hands fell to her sides as tears sprang to her eyes. "Shouldn't that be my choice, Nathan?"

"It's not just you that would be affected, Elizabeth. Allie and little Jack would be involved too. There's so much here that could complicate a relationship between us without adding my job to the mix. But the fact remains that I'm a Mountie. I've been in several dangerous situations, things I haven't told you about. I've faced death more than once, Elizabeth." His eyes searched her face. "Is that really something you want to go through again?"

She could feel fear rise along with her courage. A quote came to mind, one she figured Nathan would know. "Wasn't there a baseball player who said 'never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game'?"

She was rewarded with a half smile. "Yes," he admitted. "Babe Ruth. But this isn't baseball. This is about your heart."

Elizabeth took another step closer, now so close they were practically touching. "My heart is strong enough to take that chance, Nathan."

He froze, looking down at her with various emotions warring in his eyes. Elizabeth reached out, unable to resist, wrapping him in another embrace. Nathan was still as stone for a brief moment, but then his arms slowly came around her as well, holding her close. His chin rested on her hair again, and though Elizabeth knew nothing was settled between them, she savored the moment, the chance to hold Nathan in tenderness without the fear and relief that had driven her into his arms in the street. She could feel her heart swelling with emotion, and despite what Nathan might think, she knew her heart.

It was his.

They pulled back, looking at each other silently. Nathan reached a hand up to brush her hair back from her face. His eyes looked sad again, though he gave her a small smile.

Elizabeth sighed, reading his thoughts. "You still don't think this is a good time to make a decision, do you?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, I don't."

Elizabeth pulled herself up to her full height, looking him right in the eye. She wanted him to hear what she had to say. "Fine. I'll give you the time you need to think about this."

"Me?" he said, starting to protest.

"Yes, you," Elizabeth emphasized, interrupting his objections. "My mind is made up, Nathan." She walked to the door, hand on the knob. She threw him a sweet but determined smile, repeating his words from the pond back at him. "You let me know when you figure it out."