A/N – I've already written quite a few fics exploring Marian and Harold's adjustment to pregnancy and parenthood – all before experiencing pregnancy and parenthood, myself. This vignette was written to capture a few additional thoughts and feelings after actually going through the experience.
XXX
November 1913
Although Marian Paroo Hill was never a woman to lie abed except in the rare circumstances when she was gravely ill, the final month of pregnancy rendered her so exhausted in both body and spirit that such confinement was not a burden. So for the first time in her life, the industrious librarian happily and gratefully allowed her husband and her mother to handle the running of her meticulously well-ordered household once Dr. Pyne had placed her on strict bed rest.
However, when the twins were finally born, the excruciating pressure on her pelvis immediately eased and, though there was some lingering residual pain whenever she shifted positions in bed, Marian was once again eager to rise and resume her previous duties. However, while her spirit was now willing, her body was still too weak, and she was forced to continue her confinement for a bit longer than she would have preferred.
When Marian was finally deemed strong enough by Dr. Pyne to emerge from her bed for a proper bath – a mere three days after having given birth, thank heavens! – her resolve not to wallow in her own vanity crumbled; the first thing she did as soon as she closed the washroom door was remove her robe and stand completely unclothed before the full-length mirror. What she saw made her sigh in dreary but unsurprised resignation: swollen ankles and calves, floppy and distended stomach, overripe breasts leaking milk… as she'd surmised, her physique was nowhere near its former glory as "the perfect hourglass figure for an erotic postcard." This was a sweet nothing that Harold had murmured in her ear during their wedding night as his hands and lips ardently explored her naked body; a flowery compliment from a silver-tongued charmer indeed, but one she'd dearly treasured.
But what really startled Marian was change in her face. Although the librarian fortunately hadn't gained any puffiness in her cheeks and neck, as some pregnant women were so unfortunate as to experience, there was something different about her countenance, something subtle but striking that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Yet the difference was there, all the same; something in the look in her eyes and the curve of her lips and even the hollows of her cheeks that spoke of grave but wonderful transformation. After a great deal of pain and struggle, she'd successfully brought not one but two new and miraculous little human beings into the world. Penelope Anne and Elinor Jane were indeed marvels; even at this earliest of junctures, Marian already fathomed she could see faint glimmers of her daughters' personalities forming – or at least, she fancied she did. At any rate, Penelope was definitely the fussier of the two, whereas Elinor was a bit more sedate.
As Marian gazed at her reflection and mused over the changes motherhood had wrought in both body and spirit, she wondered if Harold had noticed these new elements in her countenance, and what he thought of them if he had. Although he himself looked a bit more harried in expression these days as he adjusted to fatherhood, he remained just as considerate and loving a husband as he'd been while the librarian was still heavily pregnant, scrambling to fetch her anything and everything she needed so she could rest as much as possible while tending to their daughters – and not daring to do much more than occasionally press soft kisses to her forehead lest he cause her pain or annoyance. Normally, Marian would have protested at being treated like she was made of spun glass, but now that she was nursing two infants around the clock, she was grateful for his thoughtful distance. While she still loved her husband very much, she was so worn out from the rigors of labor and continuously attending to two ravenous babies it was hard to fathom enjoying anyone else's touch, let alone making love – at least, not for a very long time.
But one evening, only about three weeks after the twins were born, in a rare moment where the librarian was not nursing or soothing or cuddling or changing or cleaning the girls, Harold brought Pride and Prejudice to her as she reclined on the parlor sofa… along with a kiss that, while gentle, awakened feelings that Marian hadn't experienced for several months. As usual these days, her husband did not impose on her any further, so she took the liberty of wrapping her arms around him and pulling him closer. Out of surprise or concern for his wife's welfare – or possibly a little bit of both – Harold hesitated to respond in kind at first. But true to form, he quickly recovered and, wrapping his arms warmly around her in return, deepened their kiss. When his lips parted from hers a short while later, Marian found that she was still unsatisfied and let out a low moan of disappointment – which tapered off into a delighted sigh when Harold softly but ardently trailed his mouth along the line of her jaw and down the side of her neck.
Although the librarian still had a ways to go until her body achieved full recovery, she had no qualms about expressing her enjoyment of her husband's sweet ministrations; she was certain that Harold remained just as keenly aware of her delicate condition even in the midst of canoodling, for the tenor of his embrace remained painstakingly tender even as her fingers began to stroke the short fringe at the nape of his neck. And perhaps even the indefatigable music professor was exhausted, too; while this caress had never failed to elicit an impassioned groan and an involuntary arch of his body into hers, on this occasion he simply exhaled happily and paused in his kisses to give her throat an affectionate little nuzzle.
Still, even though this was an embrace that would lead absolutely nowhere, Marian would have reveled for quite a while in the delectable sensation of being able to hold the man she loved so close again without discomfort… if the twins hadn't awakened and started squalling to be fed.
Husband and wife both let out a good-natured sigh and parted, and Harold stood up to retrieve their daughters as Marian untied the sash of her dressing gown, unfastened the buttons of her maternity corset, and propped up pillows beneath her back and arms – a pre-nursing ritual husband and wife had completed countless times. But just before the music professor walked over to their bassinet, the weariness faded from his expression and he gave her that look.
And Marian knew that when the time came, she would make love to Harold just as eagerly and passionately as she had before.