Beyond apologizing to Mariah, Ray wasn't sure what to say to make the current situation better. He wasn't even sure why the current situation existed to begin with.
"Mrs. Kon," Mariah said, her voice honey-coated and high. Despite only knowing her for a few weeks, he was taken back by the artificial sound of it. "I was just returning this notebook I found. I'll be leaving now."
"Why didn't you just come to the front door?"
"Mom, it's okay,"
"It's not! I've been trying to tell everyone what kind of person she really is, and now she has you out here without a shirt,"
Ray looked to Mariah. She refused to advert her eyes, but she kept her face neutral. Definitely not the same playful expression she often challenged him with.
"I was going to play ball with Tyson like I said, when I saw Mariah out here. She's returning my notebook, which I need for my test tomorrow."
"If you have a test then why are you going to play with Tyson?"
He'd never seen his mother this combative. She was firm, sure, but always kind.
She focused back on Mariah. "Leave, now. And I will be telling Mr. Dickenson that you are harassing my son."
Ray couldn't believe what she was saying. "She's not harassing anyone!" Before he could say anything else, Mariah was already jogging down lawn and around the corner. She hadn't even said anything.
"Mom, I can't believe you treated her that way,"
"The way I treated her? It was that girl that trashed our house five years ago. She didn't tell you that, did she?"
Ray didn't know what to say. He remembered waking up to the lawn being spray painted and eggs dripping from the doors, but none of that damage had been permanent. It was a distant memory.
And how did she know it was Mariah? She would have only been twelve at the time.
"Go inside, Rei," she waved her arm. Not wanting to aggravate her anymore, Ray listened.
He sat at his desk, thinking about what had happened. Overthinking was not something Ray did. He had always had a naturally peaceful mind and found it easy to process his emotions, but lately, Mariah had thrown a wrench in everything. He was constantly going back and forth where she was concerned.
He knew his mom didn't like her. He knew he should respect want his mom wanted, and find a new tutor. But then he'd get to school, and math wouldn't be as difficult as it was before. Or he'd meet with Mariah for one of their sessions and the hour would be gone before he knew it. He'd watch her leave, heading for the bus, feeling lighter than he had in a while.
There was a knock at his door, the light quick taps his mom's signature. It opened a moment later as she walked in. Her large braid settled over her slim shoulder, her small face looked pained as she shuffled over to him, sliding her arms around his shoulders.
"I know you don't understand, Rei," she said, her head resting on his shoulders next to his. It had been a very long time since she had to bend to hug him. It had been a very long time since he had tried to hug her. "But it's for the best. She's not like us."
His eyes found on the red notebook. It looked no different than before, but now it felt more significant. "She's a nice girl, Mom,"
"She may appear that way, but please trust me when I say that she will only bring you down."
He didn't want to doubt his mom, but it tore at him to try and think of the smiling girl in a negative way.
That night, sleep didn't come easy for Ray. Which was also unusual. And painful. He wondered how Tyson survived, seeing as he was usually online until the late hours of the morning.
It should have been an easy answer: get a new tutor. Realistically, it had only been two weeks. But in those two weeks, Mariah's...enthusiastic methods had gotten him from failing completely to getting most of the answers on his worksheets in under thirty minutes. And also, he got to know her.
Ray couldn't be sure what surprised him the most. Her frank honesty or her kindness. The way she challenged him or the way she laughed easily.
It should have been an easy answer.
But it was unbelievably difficult.
His thoughts went around and around until he was in class, with the test in front of him. Then all he could think about was numbers and letters and formulas. By the time he was done, he felt hopeful. The test hadn't been as stressful as before. He actually breezed through some of the answers. He was by no means one of the first to finish, but Mrs. Kincaid gave him a bright smile when he walked out. Maybe she was just as hopeful as he was.
Hilary was the first to ask him about it at lunch as he sat down with his tray. She had been having a conversation with Mathilda and Miguel but pulled herself away when she saw him.
"It went surprisingly well,"
"So, time with Charity Case is going well,"
"Tyson! You can't say that. It's not right."
"What?"
"I was actually thinking of not working with her anymore,"
He waited for their reactions, which were as varied as they could possibly be and yet told him nothing.
"Why?"
"Because she's so weird, Hil. No grade is worth spending an hour with that."
"Tyson,"
Just as Hilary was gearing up to tear into him, a voice broke through. "Mariah is not weird,"
The three of them turned to Mathilda. Her head was tilted down, but she made a point to look Tyson in the eyes. Miguel had his hand placed on her back, watching her closely.
"Mariah is a great person. She's kind and funny. And anyone who doesn't give her the time of day is missing out."
Tyson shrugged, not bothered at all by the correction, and went back to his lunch.
"Ray, why are you thinking of ending it with her anyway?"
"It's just difficult with my mom," he sighed, "I hate lying to her, but she's unreasonable when it comes to Mariah. I can't take it."
"You should talk to Mariah," Mathilda perked up. Her pale pink eyes were bright and eager. "My step-father really hated Miguel when I first started seeing him and it messed with our relationship, but when I talked to Miguel about it, we were able to get through it."
The only thing they heard was the scrape of Tyson's fork against the plate.
"I'm not," Ray chuckled, "I'm not trying to date her. I just don't know if I should end our sessions."
Miguel straightened up, his eyes directly over Ray's shoulder. "Mariah, hi. How are you?"
Ray jumped, turning around expecting to see angry golden eyes. Instead, he stared at empty space. Turning back around, he saw Tyson laughing while Hilary and Mathilda barely restrained their smiles, but he could tell they wanted to laugh as well.
"What was that?"
"Just seeing how you'd react," Miguel answered, pulling Mathilda closer. "Seemed pretty panicked for a guy looking to end whatever you want to call it,"
Ray didn't think it was funny, but he couldn't blame them for laughing.
"So, what are you going to do?"
Hilary shoved the boy to her right. "Don't push him, Tyson,"
"Why are you taking her side?"
"I'm not taking sides. Why do you want her to leave?"
Tyson directed his fork full of food at Ray. "Because she's been distracting my man here for two weeks and now things can return to normal,"
"Do you understand anything?"
"What do you mean, do I understand? What's there to understand?"
"Just look at him," Hilary motioned toward him as if she were offering the final piece of evidence in a court trial.
Ray wondered what they saw when the eyes of four people studied his face.
"He looks fine to me," Tyson said, taking another bite.
Hilary shook her head. "You're blind,"
"Can I ask you guys something?" Miguel interrupted. Leaning forward, he cocked his head as he looked at the two bickering friends. "How many people think you two are dating?"
Hilary rolled her eyes while Tyson faked retching.
"Everybody," Ray answered. "Everybody always thinks they're together at first."
Miguel laughed.
Ray found the two additions to the group to be helpful for the rest of their lunch. Whether Miguel was doing it on purpose or not, he kept the conversation off of him and Mariah. This gave him time to discreetly look around for her bright pink hair. He saw her, barely catching her between the movement of the crowd. She sat alone, her tray pushed off to the side, reading from a tomb of a textbook and recording notes. Every once in a while, she'd pick her phone up and smile before quickly texting something back.
Not once did she look back.
Ray felt drained physically and mentally, which he chalked it up to a lack of sleep. Still, his thoughts swung wildly for the rest of the day. He'd never been indecisive.
"Well, you've never cared much about the outcome," Hilary said in the last class of the day. They sat next to each other in the front row. Hilary's books already out in front of her, chewing on the cap of her pen.
"I care about things," Ray frowned, objecting to the poor characterization.
"Sure, your care, but sometimes you're so laid back that it doesn't matter what happens, you'll be fine." Her eyes shifted to the right. "Come to think of it, this is the first time I've ever seen you struggle this much with a decision,"
"Why do you think that is?"
Hilary thought about it for a few moments. Too long, if Ray was asked. "Honestly, from everything you've told me, I think it's mostly because you don't have all the pieces."
"That's true,"
"I mean, your mom has always been nice to me and my family isn't as well off as yours."
"She's never liked Mariah, not since she first started here,"
"Never?"
"Never."
"And all she was doing was returning your notebook?"
Ray shrugged. "I may or may not have been shirtless,"
"Well, no wonder," Hilary rolled her eyes. "Now she has a reason to be suspicious,"
"It's not like we were doing anything,"
"Still. Not a great look, Ray."
The teacher interrupted their conversation by starting class, asking everyone to quiet down. He didn't find it any easier to focus on the information any more than in any of his other classes.
Was it worth sacrificing all his other grades for math? Was that how it was going to be?
Hilary nudged him as they walked out together at the end of class. "Not to quote Tyson, but what are you going to do?"
He shook his head, still unsure. She followed him to his locker where he grabbed the books for the weekend.
"You should apologize," Hilary said, "for the way your mom acted. And thank her for coming all the way up here. And for tutoring you. And for feeding you that one day."
"She basically kidnapped me,"
"But didn't you say it was good? And stop worrying about your mom. It's only for the rest of the school year, until the national test. She can deal with that."
"Maybe," Ray shut his locker, turning to face her. "Thanks for the advice, Hil. Do you need a ride?"
"No, I'm taken care of," Hilary smiled. He wasn't surprised. He was involved with half-a-dozen after school programs. He was actually surprised he hadn't seen her around after his sessions with Mariah.
He parted ways with Hilary, walking towards student parking with the rest of the crowd. Tyson met him near his car, chatting it up with Killy and Hikaru, two girls from the school's band. They also played in a popular garage band with two other girls in school.
Hikaru waved at him as he walked up. She was leaning against the hood of his car and he wondered why she still kept it up when he'd never shown any interest.
After carefully pulling her off the car and Tyson away, Ray sat in the driver's seat. His eyes burned from exhaustion. Was he even well enough to drive?
"What's up with you, man?"
"Nothing, just tired,"
"Well, get some rest because there's a pick-up game at the park later,"
"I don't think I'll make it,"
Tyson groaned. "Are you still hung up on that girl? Seriously, Ray, you spend all week with her."
"It's not like I'm ditching you. I need help."
"But now it's the weekend now,"
"And I'm tired."
"Okay, whatever."
Ray put the car in reverse, but just as he was about to take his foot off the break, he threw it back into park. "And she's not that girl. Her name is Mariah. She is nice and smart and clever and she deserves your respect. Did you know she takes the bus to and from school? So, while you're still in bed sleeping, she's already been up for hours. And she has friends she's known for as long as you and I have known each other, but she can't see them every day because she chooses to come here. Does she complain about it? No. She deals with it. So, if not seeing me for three days a week is breaking our friendship, then maybe we're not that good of friends."
Tyson just stared at him.
"And if that's the case, you can walk home."
"It's not the case,"
"Okay,"
"I'll call her Mariah if it means that much to you,"
Ray nodded. "Okay, good."
"But I don't ever want to hear you deny your crush again,"
He gripped the wheel. "I don't have a crush,"
"Uh-huh, sure. Because I always freak out when people call Hilary names,"
Ray put the car in reverse and backed out, the traffic clearer now. "You shouldn't let people call Hilary names,"
"But they're funny,"
For the rest of the ride to Tyson, he listed every funny he could remember someone calling Hilary. Ray could help but chuckle at a few, despite himself. "Remember Wicked Witch of the Eight Grade?"
"I thought you started that,"
"I might have. You have no proof. Stop asking me."
The rest of the way was silent after he dropped Tyson off. The most silence Ray had all day, and he hated it. Without the distractions, his mind still shouted at him. Only louder.
With everything that had happened, he should absolutely continue with Mariah. As Hilary had reminded him, Mariah done so much in such a short time.
There was just one thing that stood between him and peace. And as he sat in his car in his garage, he knew he'd have to face it.
Grabbing his backpack from the backseat, he set his shoulders in a firm line before going into the house. His mom sat at the island, turning the pages of the magazine. Normally, she would be preparing dinner for when his dad got home.
Once she saw him, she closed the magazine. "We're going out for dinner tonight. Be ready by the time your dad comes home,"
"Okay."
He waited, unsure if he was free to go upstairs. He had mentally prepared for more of a confrontation. When she said nothing more, he started to leave the kitchen to head to his room.
"Don't you have anything to say to me?"
Ray stopped and turned back toward her. "What?"
"I spoke with Mrs. Watson this afternoon. Emily has been busy with her college prep courses after school."
He didn't know what to say. Obviously, she knew the truth now. But what was he supposed to say?
"How could you lie to me, Rei?"
"Mrs. Kincaid tried to get Emily, but she refused. And honestly, Mariah's better at math anyway,"
"But you knew how I feel about her. And that doesn't excuse lying."
"I knew you couldn't be reasonable about this -"
"Reasonable?"
"That's not what I meant, mom," Ray knew he was messing up. Taking a deep breath, he tried again. "I shouldn't have lied, but Mariah is the best option available. I just wanted to get started to get my grade up."
"Fine. Then since she's the best option at the school, we'll go outside the school. We'll pay for a tutor. Problem solved."
Ray had no words. His tongue felt heavy as he stood in the kitchen, the weight of all his thoughts throughout the day dying before he could say anything.
"Go upstairs and get ready,"
He went, though he wouldn't need to be ready for hours. He tried to focus on some homework at his desk, but his brain refused. He went to his father's home gym and tried to outrun his thoughts, but they kept pace. In the shower after, he stood for what felt like forever, letting the water run over his shoulders. Turns out, his thoughts could float.
They'd pay for a tutor. He had spent all night and day trying to figure out what he should do, and his mom had the solution in seconds. So, that was it. Mariah was no longer his tutor, and therefore he would have no reason to see her any longer.
He put sweatpants on, knowing his mom would be upset if he wrinkled a shirt before dinner, and laid on his bed. The ceiling faded away as he thought about what he would say.
How awkward it would be, to chase her down again, only this time to tell her that he didn't need her any longer.
Other thoughts started to crowd his head. The things that Hilary didn't know about, or else she would have brought them up.
Like the various worksheets Mariah and spend time creating specifically for him. And he knew they were for him because the word problems had his friend and classmate's names in them.
Or that she always brought extra snacks for him, and they'd have to hide them with the librarian came around, glaring at Mariah, who only stuck her tongue out when she was gone.
He thought about the stories she told about her parents. Her dad would make dinner before leaving for work so that her mom had a warm meal to come home to. But on Saturdays when they were all home, her mom made breakfast and wouldn't let anyone know what she was making and her dad made a big deal about trying to find out what it was.
"They're like children sometimes," she said.
When he told her that his parents still called him 'Rei' at home she nodded knowingly. "My dad calls me 'Mao'!"
When he couldn't work out a problem, he worried that it would be on the national test. "Stop worrying about the test, Ray. Just worry about this problem. And then worry about the test at the end of the week. And then, much later, you can worry about the national. But don't worry about the big thing that's months away right now. Just focus on this problem."
And it worked. Eventually, he was able to focus on what was in front of him. The worksheets got easier ("They're not getting easier, Ray. You're getting better."), and he was able to move through them quickly enough, until one day he finished with twenty minutes left in their session.
"What are we going to do?"
She shrugged. "Well, I'm not paid for the hour, so you can leave if you want."
"What about you, don't you still need to wait for the bus?"
"I can hang out here until then," she'd already pulled out her phone, but still smiled at him.
He felt bad. A cold wind had blown in, and it'd still be a long time before she got home.
"Do you have to walk far from your stop to get home?"
"Not too far,"
"Can I give you a ride,"
She leveled him with narrow eyes, a smirk turning up the corner of her lips. "I thought we'd gone this?"
"I'm sure my parents would be okay if I gave a friend a ride home,"
"Yeah, sure. If that friend's name was Emily Watson. Or Hilary."
And she was right.
But how was she right? How did she know?
Ray thought back to the night before. His mother had said it was Mariah who had trashed his home. And Mariah had always known that his parents were going to be an issue. The evidence was piling up and Ray was getting tired of dancing around the void in his knowledge.
But beyond that, he also realized that he'd been a horrible friend. True, Mariah and he had never decided to be friends, but that's what he thought of her now.
That's why he was struggling so much. Because somewhere along the way, despite knowing that his mom would never approve and that Mariah was, possibly, more than he could handle, he'd allowed her to become his friend. It's possible he never had a choice, but that was for another day.
How could he consider just walking away from her after all she'd done? She never needed to do any of those things, and yet she did them. Without comment, without asking anything in return. She didn't even let him get himself in trouble when he asked for it, even if it meant taking a cold bus ride.
He was disgusted with himself, and there was only one way he knew how to fix it.
"Mom," he said, standing in the kitchen where she was scrubbing vigorously at a clean counter.
She looked up, confused, and then frowned. "Rei, you're not ready. We're leaving as soon as your dad gets home."
"I'm not getting another tutor."
She stopped. Her eyes - eyes everyone told him he got from her - sank. "Please, don't start. I won't have you associating with her."
"Do you think you'll be able to control my friends when I leave for college?"
Her lips pursed.
"I might not always make the best decisions, but I am deciding that Mariah is going to be my tutor for the rest of the year."
He wanted to add "and my friend after," but didn't want to scare her any more than he was.
"No, she isn't, Rei."
"I don't know why you're picking on a seventeen-year-old girl. It's not okay."
She held her hand up as if to stop him from saying anything else. "I'll discuss this with your dad. Go get ready for dinner."
It hadn't gone the way he thought, but it wasn't as bad as he feared. Mostly, Ray was just happy he was able to say what he wanted. Finally, the feelings of doubt lifted from his shoulders and he felt peaceful again. He already knew that, no matter what his parents said, this wasn't something he was going to change his mind about.
He was dressed in a nice shirt and pants when his dad opened his door half an hour later.
"So, your mom spoke to me,"
"I know," Ray said from the chair at his desk.
His dad had a small smile as he went to sit on the corner of his bed. "You couldn't have waited until after dinner? I am hungry after working all day and she's in no state for dinner now."
"It doesn't make any sense, Dad. She's just a girl,"
"You're right, Rei. And if she were any other girl, your mom wouldn't mind at all. This problem extends long before you and young Wong."
"What is it?"
"She just has a history with the family and sometimes, wounds are slow to heal."
"Stop speaking in riddles, Dad," Ray sighed.
The older man held out his hands. "The point is, I've heard all of this before from her. And I'm telling you, be friends with the girl,"
Ray couldn't hide his surprise. "What?"
"Your mom's problems shouldn't be your problems, Rei, and if you want her as a tutor or as a friend, then you should be able to."
"Thanks, Dad," Ray said. "It doesn't answer any of my questions, but thanks,"
"All in due time, Rei," he nodded. "Now, dinner?"
"What about Mom?"
"We'll bring her back something good."
When they returned, Ray brought her an ice cream sundae, along with a kiss on the cheek. She didn't meet his eyes when he moved away, but she accepted the spoon without a fuss.
He supposed it would take a while for her to come around to the idea, but he had his father's approval and he'd run with it.
Saturday, he did his chores and completed his homework. It was amazing how much better he was functioning now that the weight was gone and he'd had a full night's sleep. He'd thought about teasing Tyson but figured he didn't need another person hounding on him about his sleeping schedule. Hilary did so well enough.
On Sunday he was able to hang out at Tyson's most of the day, playing video games in his room. He was found himself thankful for Tyson's ability to move on quickly; an apology waved away and they were back to normal.
"So, what's the deal then? About Mariah?"
"She's going to continue tutoring me and we'll go from there,"
"You should ask her about your mom."
"Why?"
Tyson shrugged, his attention focused on the TV. "Just seems like she knows more than you,"
Ray had already come to that conclusion, but he didn't think she'd have all the answers.
"After all, she is smarter than you," Tyson added, just as he did a winning combination. "And I'm a better gamer than you,"
Ray tossed the controller away. "You've just got more practice,"
"You mean talent!"
Ray cracked his neck and grabbed the controller again. "Start it up. You're going to down."
By Monday, he was ready. He was so ready, he picked Tyson up early, despite his complaining, and was waiting by the bus stop for Mariah when she arrived.
Her wide eyes spotted him immediately as she slowly descended. Normally, she was rattling off words by the second, but instead, all she could say was, "Hey,"
"Can we talk?"
"That's never good," she shook her head, "and we're not even dating,"
He offered to take her bag, but she refused. "How was your test?"
"I'll find out today, but I think it went well."
"I'm sure you did great."
He nodded towards the school and started walking. He felt like they were attracting a lot of attention from the others milling about.
"I want to talk to you about my mom,"
She sighed, her eyes looking away from him. "Yeah, I've been expecting this. I wanted to ask you on Friday about the test, but I didn't want to know..."
He understood. "And if you'd asked me Friday, I wouldn't have been able to tell you,"
"But now?" She finally looked at him. He couldn't tell what she was thinking.
"I'd like it if you'd continue tutoring me," he said.
Mariah held on to her reaction for a minute, before smiling. "You confronted her."
She was so certain. "How'd – what?" Ray started. He was tired of being the only one who didn't know. He settled on her. "What is going on?"
Mariah shrugged. "It's really simple actually. My dad used to date your mom when they were in college but then he fell in love with my mom. So, he left her."
Ray stood back, stunned. He didn't know a lot about his parent's marriage. Only that they had a short courtship and then had him soon after they married. "What?"
"Yeah, I found out a few years ago. My dad, Lee, and I were visiting my grandma when she was dying, which was weird because we didn't really know my grandparents because they cut my dad off after he married my mom. Anyway, we were at the store to pick up flowers or something and we ran into your mom. She said some...not nice things to my dad and then left. When we asked him about it, he just said she was an ex-girlfriend from college and that he broke her heart. He looked really sad about it."
Ray thought about what his father had told him; some wounds are slow to heal. "That's what this is all about?"
"Look, I don't know the details," Mariah said, "but your mom really hates my family. And, okay, fine. But I can't let her ruin my chances at a good college, so if this," she motioned between the two of them, "is going to be a problem, then I can't do it."
"It won't be. My dad said I should keep working with you, so you don't have to worry about her."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
She smiled widely, the biggest smile he'd ever seen from her. "Then let's do this!"
Thanks for reading!