Chapter 6: Who Cares Wins
Beginning their plan, all of the boys started heading towards the main Cul-De-Sac street, all dressed up, with the exception of Chris. It was going decent, up until a group of kids in the fellow cul-de-sac stopped what they were doing, and noticed the rather... very noticeable look on the Eds, and Chris, the new guy in "town", so to say.
"Hey Dork, Dork, and Dorky! Where are you heading to!" yelled one of the kids.
Not expecting or planning for this type of situation, Chris decided to speak for him and the others, saying, "They got dates, now move aside please."
"Wait, aren't you the new kid that moved here? Well, seems like this place has some fresh air now huh? My name is Kevin." Kevin said, raising his fist like a high-five towards Chris. Chris put his fist up and he Kevin shook.
"Ah yes, welcome to our cul-de-sac, Rolf welcomes you… um… what is your thing that is a name?" Rolf said.
"Name's Chris, nice to meet you." Chris responded, chuckling a bit at the strange statement that Rolf just said, unnecessarily complicating for himself.
"Wow Plank, look a new kid! Name's Jonny!" Jonny Chris shook hands.
"Nice to meet you... four?" responds Chris, finding the inclusion of Plank slightly odd. "Also Kevin, yeah, I'm the new guy, you could say."
"Righteous! Welcome in brother! Just don't cause lots of ruckus or whatever, and you're cool. When exactly you move here here amigo?" asks Kevin.
"That would've been two days ago. Been in the works for a while, but only just now did it become official, so to say." explained Chris to Kevin.
Rolf then tells Chris, "Rolf must honor the newcomer with the patch of the new resident!"
He then gives Chris a patch that simply had "New" on it, symbolizing him as a new resident of the cul-de-sac. The latter chuckles a bit of the gesture, but he appreciates it nonetheless, as he finds it welcoming, in a rather odd way. However, he can't exactly delay this plan much longer, eh,
"Guys, I'd like to continue talking, but I gotta get these three to their VERY important dates." Chris said, trying to not laugh. Kevin however, burst into laughter upon hearing that statement, finding the idea of the Eds dating someone from here that wasn't the Kankers a fairy tale for the ages. Speaking of which, Kevin asks," Who are these dorks even dating? Those Kankers? Man, talk about unlucky!"
Well, this is a huge oversight, isn't it? Because he failed to consider names for the fake dates, Chris quickly thought of names he could use for their fake dates, Rushed a lot, but it had to be something rather than nothing.
"Let me explain, Eddy is dating someone named Zoey, Double is dating someone called Mary, and Ed is with Jane." Chris said, again, trying not to laugh, as he doubted that the kids would believe him, but, to his surprise, they believed him.
"Well, good luck then Eds, just don't grow a lump in your throat also!" Kevin said, laughing, but wishing them luck on their dates.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure they don't. Talk to you all soon, later!" said Chris toward the crowd. But to say that the peace was brief was an understatement as...
"Oh, they'll grow one alright!" said a distant voice that didn't sound very happy to say the least.
The Eds already knew who was coming, but they tried to remain calm, due to someone being there who wouldn't panic at the sight of the sisters. Something that they literally have never seen until now, and something that is a literal miracle, but complaining, they are not, that's for sure.
"Well, here we go, oh dear…" thought Chris.
The Kankers arrived to the crew's current position, and they were checking out the makeover that the Eds received, unsurprisingly, being impressed by their appearances.
"Looks like our men dressed up for us!" said Lee, with a smile that made Eddy uncomfortable.
Everyone knew it was time to stand up, but there was some doubt to this plan effectiveness. But Chris decided to go for it, risking a lot in his mind.
"You're wrong." Chris blurted out, slightly nervously.
The sisters looked at the boys in a suspicious way, because of what Chris said. Not exactly the best of choices, but then again, what exactly is a best choice in this current moment?
"What are you saying though guy?" Lee responded.
Somehow the Eds didn't panic, they were just slightly nervous, but not to a noticeable degree. However, they couldn't really say anything, as they really didn't want to say anything that would spoil the fact that this wasn't actually a real thing, and it was all fabricated.
"Yeah, they have a date with 3 girls, and I'm helping them out." Chris said. "Now back off, they do NOT need you messing with them, I mean it."
The Kanker realized what he said, and all 3 had very different reactions, but let's just say, none of them are happy about this, like... at all. Although, Chris was shocked that they didn't start beating the boys up the moment that he mentioned what he said earlier. Lee was very angry, not at Chris, but at Eddy, due to the idea of someone "stealing her man", and him accepting that girl would make her so mad. Eddy noticed she was mad, and decided to do a rather risky move, but would perhaps amplify the chances of her backing away.
"Yeah, this girl called Zoey, she is a thousand times better looking than-" Eddy was saying, but was cut off by Lee punching him in the face, pretty badly.
"Good lord!" said Double D, running over to where Eddy was to help him out. "Eddy, are you ok?"
However, Double D was also interrupted, as he was thrown down to the ground by Marie, who was insanely mad at him for going with someone that wasn't her. Surprising, ain't it?
"YOU'RE LEAVING ME!?" Marie shouted to Double D's face, making him scared.
Double D would've said something back, but he had no chance to do so, as Chris ran at Marie, grabbing her by the arm and throwing her away from Double D, and kicking her away, similar to their previous encounter.
"Get off of him, you idiot!" Chris yelled towards Marie. "Geez, that's how you expect to win him over? Talk about a joke, wow."
Marie quickly got up and threw a metal tire iron out of her pocket, and threw it towards Chris, but it missed by going towards the left, not directly at him. He couldn't help but laugh at the poor aim that he just witnessed. But, he has an idea however.
"Really?" Chris said, "Alright, wait there!"
Chris decided to grab the tire iron... and throw it across the Cul-De-Sac, leaving Marie with no weapon, so that she can cause no more trouble, as he knows that if he threw it back, she would've used it again, and not for a good cause.
"Double D, you okay?" Chris asked Double D, picking him up from the floor, causing some marks to appear on the suit.
"Yes, I am okay. But we must check on Eddy!" Double D rapidly went to Eddy, who was still on the floor.
"Ugh! Stupid Kankers!" Eddy yelled.
"Get up man, you're fine." responded Chris, helping Eddy back up on his feet. "Hang on a minute, where the heck is Ed at?"
Well, Ed was secretly hiding behind a fence, which no one saw him do. However, May was nowhere to be found either. The two other sisters noticed this, and started to wonder where she was. But, Double D then hears a noise from a bush.
"Um, do you hear that gentlemen?"
"Yeah... Hmm..." Chris said, listening.
"Are those crickets from basketball guys?" Ed, randomly said.
Chris, wondering what Ed just said, simply responded, "That isn't a thing Ed. I think that's what tennis or something else is called somewhere I think..."
"It isn't? Aw." Ed responded.
Chris went towards the sound, before he now realized what the sound was. It was someone crying pretty badly, and Chris could only guess where this could go, and who that was. The moment Chris saw who it was, he was a bit surprised, as it was May, who ran away to cry about how Ed never liked her and "left" her for someone else. Chris was mixed, as while he felt kinda bad for May, she had to learn that what she was doing was flat out wrong, someway somehow, right? Regardless, he decides that there isn't really anything he can do here, and returns to the crew.
"Um... excuse me Chris, what's going on?" asked Double D, unsure of what Chris saw.
"I saw May, and well... nice to know someone has emotion, hmm?" Chris said, quietly. "I think you know what I mean, but I think it's working dude."
Marie tried to punch Double D behind his back, as he wasn't paying attention, but at the very last second, he turns around and avoids the punch, just so Chris could capture her fist with his open hand, and start to apply pressure to her hand, in an attempt to break it. Of course, this is only to stop her, and he doesn't intend to cause harm.
"Yeah, wanna keep trying that? Because that's working so well isn't it?" responded Chris toward Marie, aggressively. He then apply one last bit of pressure that's incredibly hard, before shoving her away.
"Girls! That's enough, these guys aren't worth the time. Let's go! Now!" said Lee. Marie joined back with her, adopting an expression that was friendly in the slightest. May also went with her sisters, very sad about what she learned, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything, as... that was the end of that. Ed also joined back up with his friend once the sisters. With that, before everyone knew it, the sisters left, and the boys were surprised at what just happened.
"That worked?" Chris blurted out.
"Dude, what was that about?" asked Kevin.
"I'll sum it up quickly for you, the boys here told me about their... rather absurd problems with those sisters." explains Chris, before continuing, "So, I decided to make a fake plan in which they would pretend to be dating some other group of people, and that would make them go away. So yeah, these boys are now free basically."
Kevin grinned a bit, saying, "Nice one, that should keep those creeps away from all of us! I can even say that they were never good news, one way or the other."
"I can tell. What the heck do they think they are anyways, Medusas or something? Please." stated Chris.
"How did you stand up to them man? That's something that no one would dare do." asks Kevin, out of curiosity.
Chris facepalms before saying, "Kevin, it's really nothing new to me, those three. They are just bored little babies who put on shows of intimidation, just to try to scare people, but when it comes to something they want, all of the sudden it's all innocent fun! It's not hard to stand up against that type of stuff, make me laugh because good lord, trust me... they break easier than you think."
Eddy chimes into the conversation and says, "Dude! That just worked! Thanks man! We owe you one!"
"No worries. Again, it's not that hard, just gonna know what to do." responded Chris. "If you guys don't mind, I gotta get back home to do some important things in relation to my house.
"Wait! Let's celebrate this moment dude! We will never have to deal with them again, I think this calls for one!" said Eddy in excitement.
"Ah. Alright fine, but let's not go too long, as I can't delay my work forever." responded Chris.
"I can agree with that sentiment aswell." stated Double D.
"Righteous! Let's come into my place, I can tell ya some more stuff about our small little town or whatever too Chris!" said Kevin.
And so, Ed, Double D, Eddy, Chris, Kevin, Rolf, and Jonny went the Kevin's house to celebrate the occasion, as all of them (with the exception of Chris) thought they would never see the end of the sisters. While they were proud of it and everything, Double D was wondering if what they did was, as he put it, "the right thing".
Meanwhile, with the Kankers...
"Mom was right, men do amount to a pile of dirt!" Lee said, as she kicked the door open.
May simply didn't say anything, as she was sad at what she was told. Meanwhile, Marie was in a face-breaking mood due to what she just learned.
"If I find whoever stole Double D, I'll fight her for that!" yelled Marie.
Lee then got an idea, in order to "win" the Eds back.
"So, you would fight for your man, right?" asked Lee.
Both sisters said yes, and so, now this time, the girls were planning their idea to win the Eds back. However, if you think that they are going to turn more sweet, or nice, or anything of that sort, sadly, that is not what they have in mind. Oh... talk about NEVER learning, my god.
"Hey bozo! What are you saying?" Lee yelled.
Um, nothing?
"That's what I thought, shoo!"
Well, that wasn't nice. Okay, whatever, anyways, the Kankers spent around an hour or so planning a surprise for rhe Eds. May got over her sad feeling, as the plan was for the sisters to prove that they were, lack of better words, "the better" girls than those three that they learned about. Little do they know what they are getting themselves into.
This won't go well...