Chapter 65

Face to face

"Sanji, are you all right?"

Chopper's wide eyes closely examined him as the blond was fluttering to get used to the light from the Sunny's infirmary.

"Shit, my back… I feel like a steamroller has passed over my body…"

The doctor nodded and helped him onto his side.

"Are you in pain?" he asked. "I can give you another morphine shot if you want."

"That would be nice, Chopper…"

The little reindeer grabbed a syringe and walked behind his patient.

"You should be better now", he said then. "We put you on a waterbed to make it more comfortable."

The blond did notice the moving surface under his body and he tried to move to test it further but the doctor stopped him. He then became aware of a sharp pain in his cheekbone as well as the dryness of his lips and he ran a hand over his face.

"How long have I been out?" he mumbled.

"A dozen hours. The sun just came up."

Sanji sighed and Chopper examined his back.

"What does it look like?" the cook asked.

"I thought I'd have to operate on you but in the end, by putting the upper vertebrae back, the pressure was released on the rest of the spine", his friend explained. "On the other hand, your cervical vertebrae have crushed together your nerves for a while so you may have migraines or dizziness for several days."

He then grabbed an ointment and dutifully massaged the painful area, allowing the blond to relax.

"I don't think I can get up right away", Sanji muttered into his pillow.

"You can sit up when the morphine kicks in, but for two or three days you won't be able to walk", the doctor confirmed. "In fact, you're doing fine."

He finished rubbing the ointment in and grabbed some bandages that he wrapped around his patient's body as best he could despite his position. Finally, the cook was able to turn around and he settled down carefully on his back.

"Where's Zoro?" he suddenly asked.

"In the crow's nest", the little reindeer replied, washing his hands.

"Is he okay? He went completely nuts…"

"Well, he was hard to control and Luffy has ended up knocking him out with one of his dumbbells", he sighed.

"What got into him?"

"This island is actually a prison and the occupants are demonic spirits from Skypiea", Chopper explained. "They take the travelers' bodies so that they can escape. As they're dispossessed of body envelope, if they find one, they spread terror by feeding on the strength of their host again."

"I see", the cook winced. "That actually explains a lot … How did you find out?"

"The warder's island warned us and gave us an antidote to prevent possession. Unfortunately, Zoro got lost before meeting him and we noticed his absence too late…"

At these words, Sanji couldn't help but laugh.

"That marimo head, I knew it! I knew he couldn't have come back on the ship by himself…"

"The demons could have taken over your body, but I think with your injury, Zoro was the most obvious candidate", Chopper spoke again, putting the cook on a new drip.

"Idiot spirits", the blond grumbled, sitting up as best he could. "Just because the cactus head can regain sense of direction doesn't mean he'll be less stupid…"

"Like all demons, they're attracted to physical force, but they feed on the drives of their host", Chopper continued. "He wants and he takes, regardless of right or wrong and that's why… Well, I think that's why Zoro tried to attack you this way…"

There was silence for a few moments in the infirmary before Sanji sighed.

"I knew it wasn't him. He didn't touch his swords to attack me."

"The warder told us the spirit controls the body like a puppet", the reindeer approved. "That's why he was able to master the direction of his host but he didn't know how to wield Zoro's swords which require an essential technique."

The little reindeer checked the cook's tension again, then treated the red slash adorning his right hand and the one of his forehead so silence resumed between them.

"Is he better?" the blond finally asked.

"Yes, I gave you both the antidote to drink. The demon has left his body", the doctor reassured him.

Chopper then paused and shook his head as he put his meds away.

"He's just… a little upset."

"Understandable", Sanji said.

"He feels terrible about it", the little reindeer added, looking sad. "He has locked himself in the crow's nest and doesn't want to get out for the moment…"

"Why?" the cook wondered. "You did tell me it wasn't his fault."

"Yes, that's what we told him…"

The doctor sighed before heading for the door.

"Get some rest. I'll come see you again in a while."

"Sanji?"

The gunner's voice was heard through the half-open door of the infirmary and the cook looked up from his book. He had fallen asleep again an hour after Chopper had left and when he had woken up, the morphine had taken effect, allowing him to sit up straight.

"Can we come in?" the sniper's voice asked again.

"No problem, Usopp."

The door opened and Franky, Brook, Luffy, Nami and Robin entered the small room behind their friend.

"How are you, cook-san?" the archaeologist asked as everyone gathered around his bed.

"Oh, I've been better, Robin-chan", the blond admitted. "But morphine does wonders, I already feel better than earlier", he added with a smile.

"You need to take care of yourself", Brook claimed. "You know, you really gave us a fright!"

"Yeah. You were lying in a pool of your own blood when we found you", Franky remembered before Nami glared at him.

"No problem, Franky. I know what I look like, I looked at myself in a mirror", the cook winced.

"Sanji, I'm hungry!" Luffy suddenly whined at the foot of his bed.

"I'm sorry, Captain, I won't be able to fulfill my role today, but as soon as I can put one foot on the ground, I'll make it up", he assured him.

The straw hat boy strongly nodded but Nami frowned.

"You should take the time to rest, Sanji-kun, don't worry about the cooking. We'll take turns."

"The important thing is that your back heals as quickly as possible", Usopp added. "Chopper told us you could start walking again in a few days so in the meantime, we'll make some arrangements."

"I put a roast veal to defrost yesterday", the cook approved. "There are also carrots, onions and potatoes in the reserve."

"I know how to peel onions!" Luffy exclaimed, remembering his cooking class several weeks ago.

"I'll make a schedule so that everyone participates", the gunner solemnly decided.

At that moment, Chopper entered the infirmary.

"We have to let Sanji rest now", he asked them. "He needs to sleep."

The crew agreed and each nodded to the blond before heading out. As the navigator was about to walk away in her turn, Sanji called out to her.

"Nami-san, I'd like to ask you a favor…"

The young woman looked questioningly at him and the cook straightened a little against his pillows.

"If you bump into the marimo, can you tell him he can drop by, please?"

"I'll tell him."

"Thank you…"

Nami nodded, a small understanding smile on her lips, then joined her friends outside.

Sanji slowly sat up in his bed. His back was throbbing again but he couldn't stand still. Since this morning, he had done nothing but doze and read, a pace of life he was absolutely not used to. Fortunately, part of the crew had come back to distract him after dinner and he had been entitled to a detailed story of the preparation of the meal by Luffy and Usopp. He was now afraid to discover the state of his kitchen but the goodwill of his friends was preventing him from blaming them.

However, now that night had fallen, there was no sound on the ship anymore and he was bored to death. Moreover, Zoro hadn't come to see him. The cook knew Nami had spread the word to him but apparently the swordsman was still locked in the crow's nest and hadn't even come out to eat all day.

The cook snatched the drip from his arm and some blood trickled onto his fair skin. Chopper had come to put him a new one a short time ago, but whatever.

He slowly stood up and carefully put his feet on the floor. The Sunny was calm and sailed quietly. The blond then grabbed his shirt but didn't button it to spare himself the friction of the fabric on his sore skin. To compensate, he still put on his jacket before putting on his shoes.

Sanji cautiously exited the infirmary. The wind was cool outside and he immediately noticed Franky had already fixed the railing. He took in a few gulps of air with satisfaction then slowly walked towards his kitchen. When he entered, he noted that it was more or less in order but also that the furniture had also been repaired at the level of the left counter. Strangely, he didn't remember them damaging it. He must have been far too busy trying to get out of it… A dark stain on the floor then caught his attention. Blood. His blood.

Sanji shivered as he looked around the room. All his memories were precisely coming back to him and he shook his head to get rid of them. No wonder the marimo didn't want to see him anymore… Yet they had to get things straight.

So he went to the crow's nest and climbed it while gritting his teeth before opening the small hatch and slipping inside. The effort covered his forehead in sweat and he took the time to repress the stabbing pain in his back before looking up for his partner. He was facing the window, probably on watch, and he hadn't moved when he had entered.

"Zoro…"

The man jumped as if he had just been woken up from sleep and abruptly turned towards him.

"That's you? What you doing here?" he asked, frowning.

"That's me", the blond quietly replied.

"But… Chopper said you were gonna stay in the infirmary for several more days."

"Surprise."

Zoro didn't reply. He was in shock at the sight of his crewmate. Sanji was a mess: he had a bruised cheekbone, his lips streaked with red, and a still bloody scratch on his forehead. A dressing on his right hand was barely concealing a long cut and his half-opened shirt was hinting at multiple bandages all over his upper body. And all because…

"So what, marimo, you're hiding?" the cook asked with a light tone, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"I… Leave me alone."

"What the heck? I can't get out of bed and you're not coming, I gotta do something about it."

Sanji looked for his pack of cigarettes in his pocket but the reindeer must have confiscated it and he sighed loudly. For his part, the swordsman ran a hand through his hair and the blond shook his head. His discomfort was visible for miles around.

"It wasn't your fault."

At these words, Zoro glared at him and Sanji frowned. What, hearing it from his own mouth wasn't enough?

"What's your problem, marimo man?" he asked while coming closer, frowning.

"Forget it…"

"Oh no, you've already done that one so you're gonna straighten this out right now", the blond replied. "I don't feel like waiting, I don't have my cigarettes and my back hurts like hell."

The cook folded his arms in front of the fencer and fixed his gaze on his to order him to do so. This one scowled before sighing then shrugging, obviously not knowing what posture to adopt.

Sanji didn't release the pressure of his gaze and he finally saw his partner give in. His eyes filled with anger before doubts and fears mingled with it, leaving him perfectly helpless.

In front of his turmoil, the blond consented to surrender and he looked away himself, sensitive to his torment. Zoro wasn't ready. He was still under the influence of his emotions and he needed to come to terms with what had happened. Sanji then put his hands around his face to pull him and gently placed his lips against his.

"It wasn't your fault."

He then stepped back and walked over to the hatch, letting indecision dance in the swordsman's eyes.

Zoro grudgingly nibbled his last piece of bread. In the first light of dawn, he had felt hunger torment him before realizing he had barely eaten anything for over twenty-four hours. He didn't want to run into his crewmates so he had slipped into the kitchen without waiting for them to wake up hoping to find something. He then had noticed that a plate was quietly waiting for him on the table and he had wondered for a moment who had thought of giving him his share. Finally, he had shrugged and locked himself in the crow's nest again, this time with his plate. His body was hungry, but he still had had trouble swallowing his meal. Not only because the food wasn't as good as usual, but also because guilt was still eating him alive.

At last, the swordsman pushed his empty plate away and sighed, letting his gaze wander through the large picture windows that surrounded the crow's nest. This place had always been synonymous with well-being and rest for him but for two days, even this room hadn't managed to make him take a step back.

Pictures of his own actions he hadn't been able to prevent didn't leave him. Noticing his inability to control himself had been unbearable. He had seen himself throwing the blond against his kitchen wall, knowing he was already hurt. He had seen the blood that had dripped from his nose and the pain that had taken over his features. He had felt his own hands hit his partner's face and then take possession of his body violently. And above all, he had see his gaze. Lost, confused, horrified. He had seen and felt everything. But he hadn't known how to stop it.

Zoro ran a shaking hand over his face. Even reluctantly, he had almost caused irreversible damage to the cook, whether it was his injury or because he had been about to inflict him another one. And that Sanji had come to talk to him about it almost quietly the day before had finished unsettling him.

The swordsman was always taking responsibility for his actions without blinking and today as yesterday, he was prepared for it. He had expected to see the disapproval and disappointment in the eyes of his crewmates. But strangely, no one pretended to blame him or even wonder at the behavior he had had.

When he had woken up alone in the crow's nest the day before, he had panicked. What had he done? How was Sanji? And the others? Had he hurt them too without realizing it? And then Chopper had come to check the antidote had worked and reassured him about the cook's condition. He then had let him rest while assuring him he didn't have to blame himself for what had happened. Zoro had put his words on account of the doctor's personality. After all, the little reindeer cared deeply for his friends and couldn't stand watching them tear each other apart. So he had try to smooth things over…

And yet, no one had said anything about it for almost twenty-four hours now. Franky and Usopp had tried to come see him to inquire after his health and Brook and Luffy had told him about mealtimes.

Confused by their attitudes, he hadn't moved. Not even when Nami had gone upstairs to tell him that the blond had woken up and he could see him. As if he could calmly face the cook and sweep aside what had happened with the back of his hand…

"What you doing, Zoro?"

The swordsman jumped and gazed at his captain's head jutting out above the hatch. Luffy was wearing an unusual serious expression and the fencer slowly swallowed, feeling relieved. At last. He could always count on the straw hat boy to make the necessary decisions.

While he was fully entering the crow's nest, Zoro got up to face him.

"I was waiting for you, Captain."

"Really?" he wondered.

"I'll accept your decision whatever it is", the fencer continued in a neutral voice.

"My decision?"

"Regarding what I did to the cook and to-"

"Ah yes, it's the demon who entered your body!" Luffy cut him short.

Seeing the closed face of the swordsman, the straw hat boy gave him a huge smile.

"Hey, quit worrying about it! Nobody blames you! You know, we all worry you stay here! Sanji doesn't understand why you don't wanna see him!"

Zoro stared at his captain for a second, stunned.

"I can't just go see him", he then replied darkly. "I'll never be able to look him in the face again."

Luffy tilted his head to the side to examine the fencer, surprised.

"But I'm telling you nobody blames you!" he repeated. "Sanji doesn't seem to blame you either, honest!"

At these words, the swordsman's guilt turned to anger. Had everyone lost their minds or were they all victims of amnesia?!

"Well, he should! You should all be mad at me!" he spat with fury. "I hurt one of my crewmates and you guys are all here pretending nothing happened!"

The straw hat boy gazed intently at his swordsman in return, giving him the opportunity to continue to unleash his rage. However, in front of his silence and shortness of breath, he finally fixed his relentless gaze on his.

"I know very well you'd never have done this willingly, Zoro", he replied in a calm voice. "You don't even have to say it, you're part of my crew and you're my first mate. If you need to blame yourself, it's up to you but you need to know that everyone here trusts you, whether you like it or not."

Luffy pushed his hat over his head and turned back towards the exit without looking back. Zoro heard the trap door close behind him and he stared at it for a long time, in shock.

Zoro had sat down among the tangerine trees overlooking the kitchen and his legs were hanging in the void above the door. He could hear the rest of the crew laughing and chatting amid the noise of the cutlery. He knew Sanji had made dinner tonight. It was the first time he had been able to take care of the meal since the swordsman had attacked him four days before. Unfortunately, he still couldn't supervise it as he used to and he had gone back to bed in the infirmary as soon as his preparations had been completed, standing for more than a few minutes still being quite painful.

The fencer gazed at the pile of dirty plates beside him, lying in the garden soil. Since his conversation with Luffy two days earlier, he had remained locked in the crow's nest and no one had come to disturb him. However, he had regularly found a full plate on the floor when he woke up or finished his training. Zoro had therefore spent some time face to face with himself, coming to terms with his captain's words and trying to move forward despite the guilt that took him by the throat.

And then finally, he had decided to go out knowing everyone would be busy having dinner at that time. So he had settled down not far from them to bathe at a distance in this joyful atmosphere which he had learned to appreciate without even realizing it. He was lucky to have met a great crew. Companions who were building unwavering bonds of trust, forgiveness and understanding with him. They were keeping him his place at their side because they were part of the same crew, the same community. The same family.

His friends were waiting for him. It was up to him to come back to them and he would. But first, he had to see Sanji and be honest with him. If his relationship with his crewmates was crystal clear through the friendship and brotherhood they were sharing, there was something special about the one he was sharing with the crew's cook.

We're together in this relationship and it's together that we solve the related problems.

His relationship with the blond deserved he bothered telling him about his pain and guilt towards him as he had done with Luffy regarding their friends. He didn't want this incident to ruin what they were building so carefully. They had promised each other.

Discussion was flowing among the Thousand Sunny's members and laughter burst forth when Luffy choked after having stolen a meatball from Usopp which had stuffed it with chili. Suddenly the kitchen door swung open and the chatter ended abruptly as the swordsman crossed the room to drop his pile of dirty plates in the sink.

Zoro then turned to them and ran a hand through his hair, uncomfortable.

"Thanks for… that."

Smiles immediately relaxed the faces around him and Franky loudly slammed his cola bottle on the table.

"You're welcome, buddy!"

"Would you like to join us?" Brook asked, pointing to his empty seat.

"Yeah… Later," he shrugged awkwardly. "I gotta see the cook."

Everyone nodded in agreement and went back to their plates as conversations were resuming in the easiest manner.

When the door closed behind the fencer, Luffy discreetly grabbed his plate and swallowed it up in one go, a huge smile on his face.

"Don't worry, Zoro, we won't bother you!" he shouted.

Sanji saw the fencer cross the doorstep, grab Chopper's stool and sit beside the bed without a word. He sat up on his mattress and questioned him with a look. They hadn't seen each other since he had gone up to the crow's nest and his friends had told him the fencer was still spending his days locked up so the cook had feared for a moment that Zoro would continue to avoid him for a long time.

"I wanted to rape you. And I think I'd have killed you afterwards."

The blond raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry", the swordsman added, looking down.

"You really think that's what happened?" the cook sharply replied.

"I know I wasn't in control of my body but the demon fed on me and my personality. He used my desire for you and I wanted to rape you…"

At these words, Sanji put his cookbook on his small bedside in annoyance.

"Remind me of a detail, have you raped me before?"

"Of course not", the fencer muttered, looking up at the blond and frowning.

"Have you ever wanted to do it?"

"No!"

"So don't you dare saying you wanted to rape or kill me, idiot. It's a demon who took possession of you, not an angel of charity."

Silence abruptly fell and then stretched for long minutes, Zoro losing himself in contemplation of the wall, staring into space, and Sanji looking annoyed.

"Besides, marimo, I'll have you know that I beat you up and you didn't touch me."

The swordsman returned his attention to the cook before slowly bringing his hand to his face. His fingers brushed his still blue cheek, not daring to touch it.

"Did you see what a state you're in…"

The blond pinned his hesitant hand against his cheek and the fencer tensed.

"I never would've let you do it, you shitty swordsman. Even though I was hurt, you were no match for me."

Zoro cracked a smile at his words and his fingers allowed themselves to gently stroke his pale skin.

"I never thought of a day I'd want you to get the upper hand on me, cook…"

"Don't worry. It won't be the last."

The fencer finally pulled his partner's face to his before gently kissing his lips. He moved slowly and immersed himself in his scent and touch for long minutes, eyes closed.

"I'm not broken, cactus head", the blond finally muttered against his mouth. "How long are you gonna keep me waiting?"

The cook's mocking voice was tinged with a hoarse note that didn't deceive his lover. Zoro then played his tongue against his lips and he was immediately drawn into a mesmerizing ballet, losing track of time and savoring the moment. Sanji was even more forward and he quickly ran his hands down the swordsman's chest before slipping them through his tee-shirt. He was greedily stroking his abdominals when a roughness on his skin suddenly brought him back down to earth and he opened his eyes again, breaking the kiss.

"I hurt you", he remembered, wincing. "Did-"

Zoro shook his head negatively.

"You used Kitetsu and this sword has chosen me, he doesn't hurt me."

The cook wanted to be sure and he pulled the fencer's tee-shirt up slightly on his stomach. The wound was already well healed and seemed smaller than he remembered. He then noticed the sword had resumed its place at the swordsman's hips and he let his finger stroke the hilt with a smile.

"That's awfully convenient", he appreciated, putting the garment back on.

"He can't tell the difference when it's not really me though…"

"Hey, marimo, it's a damn piece of metal. Don't ask it too much."

He saw the fencer frown and smirked, satisfied to see him react this way.

"I still blame myself", the swordsman sighed, his eyes shifty again.

"It'll pass. Kiss me."

Zoro hesitated for a second and the blond ran his hand behind his neck to pull him towards him. When their gazes met, the fencer noticed the calm and determined glow deep in his partner's eyes and he closed his own, letting his previous commitment wash away his remaining doubts. Sanji was showing him the way to follow, he wasn't allowed to push him away.

He grabbed the cook's hand on the back of his neck to squeeze it between his fingers before placing his swords with his other hand on the floor. He then leaned over him and attacked his mouth more feverishly while being careful not to lean on him to protect his back when he toppled him over the waterbed. Against his chest, Sanji gripped his shoulders to better answer him and closes his eyes in his turn.

Small knocks on the door interrupted them a few minutes later and they parted breathlessly as Chopper was tiptoeing in.

"I have to change Sanji's bandages", he apologized.

The swordsman nodded and picked up his blades before walking away towards the exit, not taking his eyes off his lover who was looking at him with the same gaze agitated by desire.

The reindeer then asked his patient to roll over so that he can apply cream and then new bandages. Having finished his task, he looked at him with satisfaction.

"You'll be able to get up more and more often so we'll start stretching from tomorrow to give a boost to your spine", he told him.

As the blond didn't answer him, his gaze still lost in the observation of the now closed door, the doctor gently sighed.

"I don't recommend putting too much strain on your vertebrae and muscles for a few more days, but don't worry, you should be able to quickly resume all your activities."

Sanji noticed that a smile was stretching his lips as he was feeling the water mattress move pleasantly under him while he was returning to his original position. While waiting for his total recovery, he would be able to suggest the swordsman all kinds of new games…

Welcome into Zoro's psychology! I hope this chapter seemed realistic enough.

I wanted him to feel guilty not only towards Sanji but also towards the all crew so that we can see his bonds with them. I didn't write that much about it compared with what I did with Sanji because of his personality…