A/N: I am so grateful for anyone still hanging in there with me. I am feeling a little better and all I can say is – being sick really sucks! But let's not focus on ME, let's focus on Hope and what her true deal is. I want to work on other stories and finish my old ones. But Hope is special to me, so she's the one I'm focusing on first. Thank you for being there, if you're still there! As always, I own nothing Supernatural, to me - more than a "TV SHOW". The boys were there for me when I was truly all alone, and in many ways carried me through to where I am today. I only own Hope.

Chapter 15:

I was almost finished eating (OMG SOOOO GOOOD!), anxious for the bros to come back from the library and get this started. I wanted to pee before Sammy started his "help me remember" voodoo he did so well. My stomach hurt. We had only done this once before over something I can't even remember now…huh. (Why make me remember something only for me to forget it? Wasn't REMEMBERING the point? Did Sammy make me forget?) My stomach did a yoga twist at the thought. Rude and shady totally! It felt true to me now for some reason… I made a mental note to narrow my eyes menacingly at him as soon as possible.

On the way to the bathroom I passed the library and heard my name. They were doing sneaky quiet voices. I hated that. They had that perfect pitch that kept you from lurking and actually hearing. It was bullshit. I slid closer to the door and heard my name again. I froze. (What the actual fuck was going on? Why aren't they talking TO me, not ABOUT me? I'm the one with "no face" appearing every time I closed my eyes… jeesh. Why does everything with them always have to be a secret? Dorks.) Dean was doing backward standing pushups against the desk while Sam was making his pinched twitchy face. I turned my ear closer, straining to hear.

"Have to tell her!"

"Fragile"

"Needs to know"

"Deserves to know the truth!"

(Whaaaaa?)

The only thing that kept me from busting in was the punishment for being a snoop. Grrrrrr… What about THEM and their snoop-snooping around behind MY back? I may be sick, but I'm not stupid. Obviously, there was some kind of big secret. If I was keeping a secret, they'd gleefully punish me for "lying" – but when it was THEM, they always had a "very good reason, so this conversation is over, Little." I could feel myself getting hot and shaky. I retraced my steps and made some lame loud coughing noises and walked toward the library. As I passed by, I said in a loud voice "Gonna go pee. If you guys ever finish your girl talk maybe we could get this over with before I pass out from anxiety?"

Their voices stopped and I kept walking. I took my sweet time in the bathroom, too. I saw a Coach leather pouch labeled "Pink's hair and makeup". It had dust on it. I took a paper towel and wiped it down, throwing it on my bed before heading to the dreaded living room.

They had beers and a soda out for me (Red flag! Abort! Abort!). I shot Sammy my narrow scowl face that I owed him for an extra-long time and went to sit in the chair. He slid a finger in my saggy jeans belt loop and pulled me back.

"Come sit here,Hopie, he offer/ordered. Come sit with us." (Oh, my Spidey senses were at High Bravo Red Mode… they wanted to trap me between them.) I remembered when all I wanted to do was sit. I internally sighed. After overhearing their secret nerd talk in the library, I was suspicious.

"Nah, I'll take the chair," I fake smiled, grabbing my soda.

"Pink."

One word spoken by Sammy in just a particular way told me it wasn't a request. I heaved my outward dramatic sigh and plopped down in between them, feet swinging back and forth in the air.

Dean put his hand on my leg.

"Nervous?"

I scowled my frowny furred eyebrow scowl at him. "Should I be?" I bit back at him. (This was stupid. Trapped with the slowest witted siblings in the world. Like, speed it up here, guys!)

Sam slid his palm down my face, breaking the tension. "No, Little, you have nothing to be nervous about, goofball," he smiled, but it wasn't the full-on dimple… it was the twitchy one. I paid attention to those things. I could still read their faces, even if they skulked off to the library and had secret conversations about me. I hated the twitchy Sam smile, and I hated the Dean smile that didn't make it up to his eyes. If he didn't have crinkles in the corners of his eyes, it was suspect.

I finally just came out and said it.

I put my hands on my knees (Oh GAWD, look how gross they are!) and huffed out.

"Okay, so I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to be nervous about, except I'm tormented by faceless man- he chases me, and has been for who knows how long? Who is he?" I looked over side to side at both of them.

"Come ON supernatural crime fighters! Look at me! I'm fucking dying, guys! What does he want? Why can't I just have a normal life, huh?

I continued to ramble.

"It's like he wants to steal me away from you – and not for the freaking weekend!"

The panic was rising, flowing up like a backward river from my feet through my legs and flowing up my chest. The thought of no Dee or Sammy made my ears start to ring and my fingers go numb. I brought them up and covered my ears (Lame, Hope, you're so fucking lame.) The back of my neck was a corkscrew.

Sammy was there, then. "Hopie, breathe," he said softly, resting a hand on my chest and one on my belly. "Remember belly breathing? Belly out when breathing in, remember? (I had no belly but okay.) I tried. It helped with him so close. I was happy to be trapped right now. "Good, good job, Pink," he all but whispered in my now non-ringing ears.

Dee slipped a bottle of water into my hand. "Sip …"

I was feeling better.

A lot.

"But Dee I have soda and I need those calories…" I gave him my pathetic look.

"I'm pathetically wasting away and you're forcing water on me."

He shifted his hip and rolled his eyes. "You're still the Pink Drama Queen. Water first."

I felt duped. Even though he was right next to me I started. "Saaaaammmy, Dean won't give me my soda and I'm pathetically wasting away and I don't waaaaant water I want my sodddda," I whined. Whining was always an option for me, but it could go either way.

"Drink your water, Little. Then you can have soda after," he replied horribly reasonably.

I begrudgingly took some sips and ignored Dean's gloating. He could be such a child.

"So, are we gonna do this or what?" I asked.

"We are doing it." Sam.

His voice took on a lower pitch, a more soothing sound. His hand rubbed my forearm slowly, back and forth. I felt my shoulders drop down to their rightful place.

"Hope, look at my quarter," soft deep voiced Sam said to me from far away.

Except he was right next to me.

I looked down and saw the coin dance between his knuckles slowly. Flip. Flip. Flip.

I felt my eyes grow heavy as he spoke fluidly to me. Guiding me to a place where total and complete peace flowed through me like a river in the right direction. Down through my feet and back up over the crown of my head, warm and constant.

"Hope, what are we doing together here – you, me, and Dee?"

"Helping me remember," I spoke slowly as if in a dream, but I was not asleep.

"That's right, Pink. Very good. Now listen to me very carefully, honey. What you see will be like pictures in a book, turning from page to page. You have no fear. Memories are not alive. Nothing in your memories can hurt you. I won't let it. Dee won't let it."

His voice was like silk.

I repeated back to him. "Because you and Dean will never let anything hurt me or take me away from you. Pages in a book can't hurt me. Nothing is there in the dark," I added.

I did not see my brothers look quickly up at each other when I said that.

I could feel Dee holding my hand and quietly say "That's right, Little. You are always safe and always be safe. We will always take care of you."

Then Sam spoke again. Taking me down deeper than I had ever been before.

"Hope, Dean and I are going to walk with you back and back and back as far as you can go. As far as you can remember. Let's walk back together. Can you see us?"

I was four years old, looking up at the exact same Sam and Dean that were sitting beside me. Boots and flannel.

To Be Concluded….

A/N: I know this is a sucky place to end, but I really wanted to get SOMETHING posted! The next chapter is the big one. It brings it all together (I hope)… and it won't be long, I promise. Just very tired. I hope you like, and I am back. #SupernaturalFamily