Chapter 14 - Back in Hogwarts

Daniella braced herself for the next couple of hours. Going back downstairs, she looked around until she found Jo already seated at a corner table. She took the seat across from him at the table and folded her arms on the table. "So…" She started, trying to read his expression. "How are you, really?"

Jo was resting his chin on his palm, staring quietly into space. He had a lot on his mind.

"You could have warned me he was here," he said a bit reproachfully, realizing that wasn't an answer to her question. "I mean, generally you warn people when they're about to meet someone who hates their guts, aye?" He was trying not to sound bitter, but it was hard. He felt replaced.

"I'm okay." He wasn't sure if it was a lie. He certainly wasn't injured, in danger, or violently ill. He wasn't happy, either. "I fixed the boat, mostly. The machinery and the net have to be done by hand."

He sighed, already feeling guilty for snapping.

"How are you? Do you need anything?"

"I'm sorry, there was no time. Everything happened too fast and… he was the one who Apparated us here. When I realized where we were…" She gave an apologetic shrug, looking at the table between them. "I'm so sorry, Jo. For everything." Words were useless; she felt useless in that whole situation, but she didn't know what else to say.

"I couldn't just abandon him. He ran away, Jo… I'm not saying he's changed, I'm not saying it erases what he has done. You have every right to hate him. I'm not trying to force you to spend time with him, but I couldn't leave him behind." She looked around to make sure Ezra hadn't returned yet and lowered her voice. "His family hates him as much as they hate you or even me, now… He doesn't have anyone else."

She shrugged off his concern for her well being. "I'm fine. It was a matter of time for this to happen for me. I was planning on waiting for the end of the school year, but the sooner the better, I suppose. I have some money; and it'll get easier after school. I will need your help to do decently in my NEWTs, though," she gave him a pained chuckle, trying to raise his spirits. "I'll need to find a job as soon as possible."

"I don't hate him," Jo mumbled stubbornly. "It's just… you know… we don't get along. That's all. It doesn't mean I hate him."

He pondered her words in silence, then looked up as though he had just realized something.

"He Apparated both of you here from London? And all your stuff? Side-along?" Josiah asked, picking at his fingernails. He felt a small flicker of jealousy. He had never been much good at Transfiguration. "That's impressive." He was loath to admit it.

His eyes flicked to the staircase, where Ezra had just appeared, and he bit his lip in an act of remarkable self-control. He would not sink to that level. He would not judge a person he didn't really know.

"You can count on me," he said with a half-smile, looking back down to the table as Ezra pulled up a chair.

Daniella smiled gratefully, then snorted at his question. "Yeah, he did! And I didn't even lose a shoe this time," she added. "Or a piece of my ear."

Following his gaze, she saw Ezra and took a mental deep breath. Round two was about to start. Hopefully it would be a little better this time. "Thanks," she murmured, squeezing his hand for a moment.

There was a long and awkward silence when the three of them were settled. Daniella's eyes flicked from one to the other, then up to the ceiling. She really hoped the food would arrive soon.

"So," she started brightly. If none of them wanted to take the initiative, she'd choose the subject, and they could just deal with it. She focused her gaze on Ezra. "May I know how you know Stonehaven, or is it a secret?"

Ezra shuffled a bit in his seat, taking a peanut from the jar in the center of the table and crunching it slowly to buy some time.

"I didn't know what it was called when I was here the first time," he murmured. "We're very close to Hogwarts, you know. I um… Apparated here on accident. From Hogsmeade." He flushed a bit; he hoped Daniella wouldn't lose confidence in his abilities because of that. "It was only the second time I'd ever done it. I went in the wrong direction and ended up in that same alley I took you to earlier."

"It's true," Josiah murmured, nodding a bit in an attempt to be friendly. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother taking the train; it's just a hop and a skip."

Ezra didn't reply, but nodded slowly and deliberately, the first step to acknowledgement.

Their food arrived, and Jo was sure everyone felt as relieved as he did.

Daniella raised her eyebrows, surprised. "Oh… Well, I'd figured out the castle was in Scotland, but I didn't know…" She trailed off, then looked at Jo seriously. "You couldn't miss the train, though. You're a Prefect."

She paused until all the food had been served and the waiter left. "At least you Apparated on a beautiful place," she continued, smirking at Ezra. "In my first actual attempt at Apparating from Hogsmeade, I ended up on some stinky Muggle factory. I gave a couple of ladies quite a start," she laughed at that memory.

Josiah smiled despite himself, remembering that memory fondly. He realized that he was too happy to be acceptable and quickly turned to his food.

"It took me two tries to pass my test," he grumbled, and he was sure he saw Ezra smirk at this. It took all of his willpower to ignore it. Mudblood jokes he was used to, but fat jokes he definitely would not tolerate.

Ezra was cutting into his roast beef with intense concentration, trying to think of something to say that would not ruin his potentially blissful afternoon with Daniella.

"It could be worse," he settled on eventually. "Yaxley still hasn't passed his."

Both boys looked sideways at Dan, as though this was some sort of freestyle exam.

Daniella ate with slow, deliberate movements, trying to keep an even, relaxed expression on her face. It was like being close to a couple of wild creatures and any sudden movements could startle them and have them running back to hide in the shadows.

She repressed a chuckle at that; the last time she'd felt that way, she'd been helping Hagrid with the unicorn foals in the Forbidden Forest.

Ezra's words made her heart skip a beat, delightfully, not because of what he'd said, but because it was the first time she'd seen him address Jo in a non humiliating or derisive way.

She looked up from her plate when they fell silent; they were looking at her expectantly. "I'm amazed Yaxley hasn't lost any body parts yet," she said, snorting. Then, she met Jo's eyes and smirked. "But you shouldn't be upset; you get everything else right on your first try anyway. Which I'm glad for, because then you can explain it to me."

"Not everything," Josiah murmured, although he couldn't help but feel rather pleased at being complimented. His cheeks were slightly pink.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, the clinking of silverware against plates the primary sound between them. It was delicious, as usual; in Jo's opinion, there was nothing like good Scottish home cooking to bring people together, even people who had hated each other before.

"Can either of you converse via Patronus?" He asked after a while, with a more serious tone. If they were going to be on the run, they needed a safer way to communicate than owls or Floo. The notebook was good, but it could be intercepted; he was just taking precautions.

"Can you?" Ezra murmured, a polite look of disbelief etched into his cruelly handsome features. "My Patronus isn't even corporeal."

Jo licked some gravy off of his finger, furrowing his eyebrows and trying not to look too concerned. Teaching someone like that would be a lot of work.

Daniella shrugged a bit sheepishly. "I've only been close to conjure mine once. And it didn't last more than a couple of seconds. If I tried to make it say anything…" she flushed a little at the thought. "Well, that would be an amusing mess, I think."

She understood where Jo was getting at, though. She pondered that while she finished her chips. "It would be quite useful, admittedly." She exchanged a look with Ezra. "We should really get to work on that."

Jo looked at his watch, which he had received on his birthday as a surprise from his parents after telling them that wizards traditionally received a watch for their 17th birthday. It was quite special to him, and more importantly, it told time very well.

"It's quarter to ten," he informed them, scooping up the last bit of mashed potatoes off of his plate. "Are you free this afternoon, or did you… have plans?" He said the last bit rather grudgingly, as though he felt offended for having to ask in the first place.

Ezra said nothing, looking at Daniella submissively. They had every intention of making her choose.

Daniella's good spirits vanished. She said nothing for a long time; she'd been trapped. She couldn't please both of them. Suddenly, what had started to look like a pleasant day, was going to be ruined.

"Uh…" she started, flushing intensely. She looked down at her plate, but there was no more food to keep her busy. Putting down her fork with care, she laced her fingers and sighed, glancing up at Jo guiltily. "I had promised Ezra I'd spend the afternoon with him…" She said in a small voice.

She looked away, biting her lip. This was so not fair! "Can I stop by your house later tonight, or tomorrow morning, whenever you think it's best…" She trailed off. Right now, she wasn't very fond of men.

"You might have a bit of trouble finding it," Jo confessed, trying to push the rejection to the far corners of his mind. He just couldn't deal with this right now; they had only gotten especially close over one holiday, and they were already planning days together in advance? "I made it Unplottable, I put up Apparation blocks, extensive protective charms, two Sneakoscopes on the far ends, and anyone who breaks through all of that is going to be hexed with purple skin until they can figure out how to reverse my Charmwork which can be said for very few people that I know, what about you?"

He was slightly out of breath after all of that, but it had been worth it.

"So, no, that's probably not a good idea. I'll come to you."

It took Daniella great effort not to flinch at his tone. But it wasn't like she had done something wrong. She'd offered to help and he hadn't wanted it. He'd blatantly told her she couldn't go to his house twice already. It hurt.

What else could she do? It wasn't like she could control her brother. She was doing the best she could to help them both, and it still wasn't enough. Why did it have to be so difficult?

She looked out the window instead. "You're right," she said in a low voice. "I'll wait for you."

"I'll go home and gather up a few things so that you don't…" Josiah glanced at Ezra, who was wearing an old-fashioned collar shirt. "...have any trouble," he finished tactfully.

"I'll come back in the evening, alright? Five or six." He pushed his chair back and stood up quickly, brushing some crumbs off of his shirt. "Don't worry about the tab. I've already paid it."

He left.

Ezra had been quiet for a while now, and he looked at Daniella tentatively. He wasn't sure what to say.

"Can't imagine why you're friends with someone who makes you feel so awful," he decided on, engrossing himself once more in slicing his roast beef.

"Don't," Daniella said abruptly. Everything had been fine just a minute ago. Bloody hell! She pressed two fingers between her eyes. "Just… don't go there."

She returned his look. "For people who never got along before, you two teamed up awfully well," she said accusingly. "Maybe I should've made the two of you spend the afternoon together instead."

"Well, I don't know about him, but that idea doesn't really strike my fancy," Ezra murmured dryly before chewing. He sighed; he wasn't going to have any fun at all this afternoon at this rate. "He left without ordering his dessert," the boy noted somewhat snidely.

"Do you suppose they'll let us eat it instead?" Perturbed by the lack of response, he sighed heftily. "I don't hate Muggleborns," he defended himself unnecessarily.

"But you can't expect me to become best mates with someone like that overnight. We're completely different."

Daniella studied the empty seat where her friend had been. He was really upset with her. She felt bad for causing him so much trouble, but he was being very unfair.

She rested a hand over Ezra's, linking her fingers with his. "I know that. I don't expect you to like him just because I want you to. Or vice-versa." She turned her head to look at him. "But neither of you can't expect me to forget the other one exists either. He's my best friend and you're…" she looked away again, not sure how to finish that sentence. "I need both of you," she murmured at last.

"Well, he definitely exists," Ezra said matter-of-factly. "It's rather hard to wish away someone that stocky." Satisfied at getting his last quip of the day in, he sighed. He didn't even have room for dessert now.

"In any case," he said silkily, massaging her hand with the top of his thumb. "Since we have the room to ourselves for the afternoon…." He trailed off, smirking a little.

"Shall we?"

Daniella rolled her eyes. "You should be careful not to say those things. He was right about his Charmwork, you know?" She said, not without a teasing note.

She glanced around the dining room, which was mostly empty at this hour, then leaned a bit against him. "You better make this afternoon worth all the fuss it caused," she whispered against his ear before standing and pulling him by the hand to the staircase.

-/-/-

A couple weeks later

Josiah was leaning against the wall opposite a portrait of a large woman in a pink gown. They were looking at each other a little sheepishly; the hallway was perfectly silent.

He hadn't had a very good holiday. He'd gotten to have sex, of course, which had been rather nice, but between his father's boat being trashed and Dan and Ezra being... well, Dan and Ezra, he'd gotten very little sleep and even less time to properly enjoy himself.

He was waiting on Noah to arrive. He looked at his watch.

"I really wanted to have bought the new Comet already, but I got a little distracted and spent more money than I should've," Shawn was saying, as he and Noah made their way up the final set of stairs to the Gryffindor tower. "If you hadn't been gone for so long, maybe-"

He stopped abruptly, squinting at the figure leaning against the wall ahead. He scowled when he recognized the annoying Ravenclaw Prefect.

"Jo…siah," Noah greeted cheerfully, adding the last syllable in the last second; Shawn stopped and looked pointedly at his teammate. Noah had kept walking, so he couldn't see his face anymore. But that tone of voice. What the hell…?

"What are you doing here?" Noah asked Jo, more firmly this time, taking his broom off of his shoulder.

Jo slid up the wall rather reproachfully, eyeing the boy beside Noah and clearing his throat in what he hoped was a relatively authoritative manner.

"Waiting for you," he said plainly, as though this was nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, it wasn't, but it was always good to be especially confident. "I wanted to talk to you about… erm… conflicting Quidditch pitch request forms. I'll need a moment, since you're Captain."

Noah blinked. Shawn's scowl grew deeper and he moved forward, locking his eyes with Johnston's. "What are you talking about? Since when are you in Ravenclaw's Quidditch team?" He looked the other boy from head to toe. "I suppose you'd make a decent Keeper," he said with a lopsided smirk.

"Why don't you shut up, Shawn?" Noah snapped, turning to face him.

Shawn's smirk became calculating at that. Interesting reaction.

"Just go ahead and take my broom, I'll catch up with you," Noah said harshly.

"Yes, maybe I should," Shawn said in a low voice, taking the broom from the other boy's hands, throwing Johnston one last glance that said, I'm watching you. "You don't want to leave your new buddy waiting," he added, walking away.

Josiah flushed a brilliant shade of pink; people very rarely questioned what he said.

"I am in charge of keeping the forms in order for presentation in the Prefect's meetings," he said stiffly, which was completely true. "And I only discuss relevant business with the Captain. Whether he shares it with the rest of you is… none of my concern," his melodic Scottish accent wobbled a bit with the effort of speaking primly.

He started toward the opposite end of the hallway, stopping in front of the portrait which served as a shortcut to the 5th floor. He drew an 'X' with his fingertip in the corner of the canvas, and the picture swung sideways.

"Some mate you've got," Jo murmured under his breath when Noah caught up to him. "Real charmer, him."

Noah rubbed his neck awkwardly. That wasn't the greeting he'd expected. "Sorry about that. He's been a little annoyed with me, since I disappeared in the holidays."

He followed Jo into the shortcut and the portrait slid back into place behind him. He reached out a hand, but he hesitated before touching Jo. He settled to walk at his side. "Hmm… So, was that really the reason you wanted to see me?" He asked with a tentative smile.

Jo clenched his jaw, somehow feeling grated by Noah's nonchalant tone of voice. He whipped out his wand and illuminated the small tunnel with a slightly brighter than intended ball of magical light.

"You know, a dark wizard ruined my father's boat over the holiday. Oh, and my best friend got a new… boy-something, who happens to hate my guts. And I can't leave my house, and I can't even have a proper lie-in, because I have to keep every single thing about my life a secret, and even when the boy I love comes over I have to tell my parents he's just my mate and then his mates talk to me like I'm garbage and then I feel like all I am is a sex toy! A sex toy," he whispered emphatically.

"Apparently I can't even wait for you in a bloody hallway."

Noah took a step back, as if Jo's bitter words had been a physical hit. "What…?" He paled as he slowly processed what he could of that stream of words.

"No! Merlin's broom, you're not-" He grabbed Jo's arm as gently as he could, pulling the Ravenclaw closer. "Jo, that's not true. I really like you, but… I just…" he choked on the words. He didn't know what to say. "I need time to… to prepare them, to… tell them."

In that moment, he was sure Jo would push him away, but he still wrapped his arms around him. Concern and anger bubbled up when he thought of what Jo had said first. "Who was it, Jo?" He asked darkly. "Did they hurt you? Your family?"

Jo wanted to pull away in his anger, wanted to step backwards and glare, but as soon as Noah's arms closed around him, he found himself leaning forward and into the other boy's chest. Noah always smelled nice; he felt nice, too, firm and strong, but somehow just soft enough to be comforting. Tears stung the rims of Jo's eyes and he gave a half-hearted sob into Noah's shirt.

"It's been so awful," he blubbered, muffled by the fabric. "At the beginning of the school year, Dan's brother came to my house and said that if I kept hanging around her, he was going to hurt my family, and I tried to find a way around it, but she's my best friend, and we ended up talking, and he found out, and he r-ruined my dad's boat, and I had to put so many Charms on the house and I'm so s-s-scared," he elaborated. He was crying so hard now that he might as well be speaking Mermish.

"And I didn't mean to snap at you, I really didn't," he went on. "But I'm just so upset and I feel like I can't be with anyone and be myself, I have to lie about everything, and I just want one person… one person that I don't have to lie about," he ended pitifully, taking a deep shaky sigh. "Just one."

Noah sighed into Jo's hair, relishing the feel of holding him so close. It felt easy and relaxing, but it didn't help with his concerns.

He looked around; the shortcut ended right ahead of them, and he remembered a few unused classrooms in the corridor it led to. He guided a very disturbed Jo to one of those rooms and closed the door behind them.

"Dan's brother…" he started, trying to pick up on what he could to make sense of that story. He must mean Daniella Hawke, his Slytherin friend. His frustration spiked and he looked at Jo a bit angrily. "Why on earth do you hang out with Slytherins? And who is that brother of hers?" He looked more intently at Jo. "Why didn't you say something sooner? I could've… I can…" A dozen different thoughts crossed his mind, all of them rather violent. He closed his eyes and huffed.

"You can trust me, Jo. You don't have to lie to me about anything. And I can do something about that asshole," he suggested seriously.

Jo slid into a nearby chair, laying his head on the desk and looking up at Noah. The cool surface felt good on his flushed, wet cheek.

"She's not like you think," he said a bit defensively, even though he wasn't exactly pleased with Dan at the moment. "She's not a snob or anything. She's never looked down on me for being what I am." He sniffled.

"But her brother works for the Ministry," he continued. "There's nothing anyone can do… he could be anywhere, do anything, and nobody would ever…" Jo blanched. "I'm a Mudblood, Noah. Nobody would stand up for me. Not now." He shifted, resting his forehead miserably against the desk and closing his eyes.

"And I can't hide in a broom closet properly. I've put on too much weight over Christmas." He sniffled again, slightly more depressed this time. "If I'd known there was going to be a war, I'd have been happy to be a regular old Muggle."

Noah groaned at Jo's choice of words. He sat on the chair right next to his. "Don't say that! You're no less than any of them!" He said harshly. "A lot of people will stand up for you, Jo. You're not alone in this war. I'll stand up for you! And that girl, if she's like you say, wouldn't she stand up for you as well?"

He rubbed Jo's shoulder, trying to spark some battling spirit in him. "Would you really prefer to just be a Muggle? Are you just going to give up everything you want without a fight?"

Jo looked at Noah seriously, touched and saddened at the same time.

"It's not like that," he murmured, reaching up to grab his arm with one hand. He relished the feel of closeness. "Of course I want to fight, I just can't… what am I supposed to do, Noah?" He felt like tearing up again.

"Fighting means that I jeopardize everybody I love. If you stand up for me, it means the same thing for you. If Dan does it, she'll never be able to see her family again. Because of me."

"Right now all I want is someone to hug me really tightly, okay? If you want to help me, do that for me." His mouth twitched barely in what might have been a half-hearted attempt at a smile. "Tell me you love me."

Noah wrapped his arms around Jo, wishing it was that easy to keep him safe. He closed his eyes at his last words, searching his heart.

Why did he hesitate? He knew, since he'd returned from Scotland, alone with his own thoughts on the road for hours, he knew what he wanted, so badly it hurt. He'd had a couple short, more or less turbulent relationships in his life, but he'd never before felt so involved with someone, so dependent on someone else's happiness and approval. It scared the hell out of him, but that had never been enough reason for him to run away from anything.

He sighed, pulling back a little, and searched Jo's sad, clear eyes. "I love you," it was barely a whisper, but he felt like a huge weight had been taken out of his shoulders. He rested his forehead against Jo's. "I love you…"

Jo nuzzled against Noah's forehead, tilting slightly and pressing his lips over the other boy's. It was a deep, passionate kiss, but not especially sexual. Josiah didn't feel very sexy.

"I love you too," he whispered back, running his tongue over the inside of his own wet lips. He offered a small grin. "I don't so much love your mates, just so you know."

Shawn couldn't believe what he was seeing. It hadn't been difficult to catch up with those two after they disappeared behind the portrait, and he wouldn't even have needed to hide, since they were quite distracted… with each other. He couldn't understand most of what they were saying, but he was more concerned about the body language. Noah was all over him; Shawn had never seen him that way with anyone. And now…

Something nasty swelled up inside of him as he saw his friend hugging the other boy. His hands closed into fists. That wasn't the Noah he knew. That wasn't his mate. The nasty feeling inside him overflowed when they… when Noah…

"What the fuck are you doing?" He pulled the door open with a bang, his fury exploding. Noah must be under some kind of sick spell. He held on to his wand and aimed at the Ravenclaw, taking a few steps into the room. "What did you do to him, you freak?"

The sudden voice made Josiah jump so high that he bonked heads with Noah and whipped around in a state of blind confusion. His wand was in his hand, and his heart was pounding in his throat.

"I – I didn't –" he wasn't sure if the other boy was referring to the kiss, or something else. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't know how long he had been there. He paled; had he also heard what he'd said about Dan, or Dan's family? Was he one of Logan's spies? Confusion swirled and mutated into something bigger, hotter, and more dangerous; a surge of resentment swept through Josiah, and his cheeks flushed with anger.

"Don't call me a freak," he said in a hushed warning tone, his oddly shaped willow wand hissing periodically with the electric snap of white sparks. "I'm not the one spying behind doorways."

Shawn glanced over at Noah, who looked awfully pale, and also as guilty as pissed off. Much against Shawn's wishful thinking, he didn't look like he'd been hexed at all. He shook his head, coming out of his disbelief stupor.

He looked back at the Ravenclaw with disdain. "What should I call you then? Do you prefer faggot?" He raised his wand, ready to attack. "Or maybe-"

"That is enough," Noah roared, the chair he'd been sitting on falling backwards with a loud clatter. He stood between the two wands, apparently blind to the danger they meant. He reached out a tentative hand to his childhood friend. "Shawn, let me explain…" He said and it sounded as a warning.

Shawn pulled away from him. "Don't touch me! What the fuck are you thinking, Noah?" The expression of hurt and shame on Noah's face only made him angrier. "Tell me you're not… you weren't…"

Noah didn't answer. He didn't have to; Shawn had seen it very clearly.

"If it makes you feel better," Josiah said through gritted teeth, not lowering his wand. His reputation wasn't the one on the line here; for a single, heart-wrenching moment, Jo worried that the kiss they'd just shared would end up being the last one in a short, rather tumultuous relationship. The anger came again.

Thoughts raced through Shawn's mind. Suddenly it all made sense. Noah's constant distractions, his silences, the absences when the team gathered to have some fun; he thought of how long Noah had been refusing to go out with him and the dates he got them.

"Have you lost your mind?" He snapped at Noah, his face scrunched up with disgust. "Are you like him?" He insisted. He wanted to shake some sense into Ledger's hard head. He was throwing everything away for… for… He looked at them, revolted. "I should break that pansy face of yours!" He took another step closer to the Ravenclaw boy, pulling Noah to the side to get a clear sight of Johnston.

Josiah, who, he would have liked to note again, had just come back from a very bad Christmas holiday, was already feeling rather unstable when Shawn's words ricocheted off of his mind like a hundred bullets. It was the last straw in a very large, awkwardly placed hay bale.

He didn't open his mouth or exercise his vocal chords; he thought the hex so loud that it exploded, tenfold, in several hot white bursts of magic and knocked Shawn well across the room and ruined a nearby desk. It had been a Stinging Hex; unfortunately, he had always been rather good at them, and his victim was quickly puffing up like a very odd marshmallow all over.

"I-would-like-to-see-you-try," he spat, his entire arm shaking with the effort of keeping his anger relatively within his body. Chubby he may be, a faggot as well, generally mild-mannered and law-abiding, but it did not change the fact that he was the best at Charms in the Seventh year, and he knew curses that would make Merlin raise an eyebrow.

Noah was in shock. He'd been in shock since the interruption, shocked by Shawn's reaction – even though he'd become more certain it would be somewhat like that with each passing day – but most of all, he couldn't help but stare at Jo. His anger filled the room, made the air heavy and electric.

He was still trying to figure out a way to get out of that situation when the room exploded. "Wait, don't-"

Too late. He took a tumbling step back, then looked at where Shawn had landed over the desk. His eyes widened at Shawn's appearance. He looked back at Jo. "What did you do to him?" He asked in a small voice.

It took Shawn a long time to make sense of what had just happened. Damn, he was hurting all over! He groaned as he tried to straighten up. With effort, he got a painful look of Johnston, and his hatred bubbled up stronger than before.

He searched for Noah, who just stood there, looking at the other boy with an awed expression. "Are you going to just stand there and let that…" His empty hands closed and even that hurt like hell. He'd lost his wand too. "…let your girlfriend attack me?"

That made Noah react. In those few moments, he forgot he'd known Shawn for most of his life, forgot they'd been best friends for years. He was blinded by his own fury and a fear he didn't want to acknowledge. He closed in on Shawn – for a second, not sure to do what – and Shawn instinctively pulled away at the look on Noah's face. Shawn knew him; he knew what he was capable of.

"Get out." He looked over Shawn's body, and regret was added up to the mix of emotions. "Go take care of that, it looks nasty. As nasty as your inside, apparently," he said in a low voice. "We will talk later."

Josiah stuffed his wand hastily in his pocket, slightly horrified at what he'd done. He'd never actually hexed another student properly before; he'd always prided himself on having a relatively good handle on his emotions, what with being a Prefect and all. The detention he'd had after DADA class was the first he'd ever had, and now… oh, bother. He hadn't even thought about that.

He gave Noah an apologetic look, nearing tears again. He'd obviously gone and ruined everything; ruined Noah's friendships, ruined Noah's perspective of him as a mild-mannered, compassionate person… who would want to date a boy who hexed people randomly in brilliant flashes of painful white light?

"I'm so sorry," he murmured in a distinct hurry, taking a few steps back. His eyes were pleading, searching Noah's for forgiveness before the magic in the air even had time to settle. "Um, I'll… I'll talk to you later…." He turned and sped into the corridor, his eyes bleary with tears, crawling up the shortcut and back up to the 7th floor, where he sat for a while and sniffled.

He would have to turn himself in; there was no other way. It would all come out, eventually, anyway; there was no way Shawn would miss out on telling on him if he could move his swollen lips enough to get the sentence out properly.

He stood, brushing the dust off of his pants and looking morosely down the hallway. Professor Flitwick's office was at the very end, of course, near the Ravenclaw common room; there was no easy way to do it, but if he was going to… his head of house, the teacher he loved best, was probably the easiest person to humble himself to. He sighed heavily.

The walk was long, like one of those dreams where the hallway keeps extending; for a moment, he'd wondered if it had been cursed. He reached the door finally, took another deep breath, and gave it a soft, tentative knock. There was a dignified squeak of permission from inside, and the door opened of its own accord.

"Ah, Josiah," Flitwick said jovially, his glasses twinkling in the dim light of his office. "Do come in. How was your holiday?" The professor realized his mistake when he squinted a little harder and could see quite obviously that Josiah had been crying. He flicked his wand, and the large, blue armchair slid away from the desk for Jo to sit in. He took it gratefully, looking at his hands as though he thought he deserved to be handcuffed.

"Professor, I've just hexed someone," he said sullenly, his lip quivering uncontrollably. "Um, you should probably give me detention."

-/-/-

Noah paced Gryffindor's common room for a long time after everyone else had gone to sleep. He felt trapped in there, caged, but he didn't want to leave until he talked to Shawn.

He'd refused to tell anyone what had happened. It was hard enough to believe how things could've have gone from so great to so awful in only a couple of minutes. He couldn't stop thinking about Jo and his team. The two most important things in his life, and now he was sure he was going to lose them both. Shawn would make sure his teammates would turn against him, he was certain, and Jo had left the classroom so hastily, looking so hurt…

Noah had been far too stunned to be able to say anything, and then it had been too late.

And now, here he was, feeling the most miserable of creatures, and it was all his fault. He'd tried to balance everything, thought that keeping it all a secret would've granted him everything he'd wished, and now he had nothing. His dream of becoming a professional player was hanging by a thread; and he'd failed Jo. He'd been caught up between two different loyalties and broken his promise only a few minutes after making it.

Maybe he deserved what was happening to him. Maybe…

The Fat Lady's portrait moved with a low rustle, making him turn his head in that direction. Shawn slowly made his way inside, repressing a groan of pain as he stumbled a little. He stopped when he noticed Noah's presence. His expression hardened – well, as much as it was possible, considering he was still pretty swollen all over.

"I really don't want to look at you right now." His voice was raspy and still so angry.

Noah tried to swallow his own anger; they were friends… had been friends. Was that really gone, just like that? Maybe it was. At least Noah wasn't sure he would be able to forgive Shawn for the things he'd said; for the look in his eyes, most of all.

"Well, suck it up, because we need to talk," he said, trying to control his temper. "We have a game in a couple of weeks."

"Oh, so now you remember that? Maybe it's been too long since you've been distracted with-" Shawn stopped himself, looked around the room. He looked back at Noah.

"Unlike you, I am not an idiot. You want to ruin your future because of that… guy, go ahead! But I'm not going to ruin my chances. Your dirty, nasty secret is safe… until the end of the next match. But don't expect me to follow any of your commands, Captain. I'm not interested in that sort of thing." He started walking away to the boy's dorm, but stopped and turned. "And enjoy your last few days as Captain."