Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

Chapter 40

Author's Note: Chapter 40! Wow and I'm still on Season 2. I'm really excited to get rid of Shane. Not excited about the whole different POV's I need to do when the walkers attack. BUT…easy peasy. A couple chapters may focus on Merle before he kidnaps Maggie, Glenn and Jewel. Cause there's going to be a couple people I need to introduce (both have been mentioned) one isn't going to last, another one is. Keep with me…it's going to be a fun and wild ride. I'm almost done season 4 on DVD. RIP Hershel! Review Please.

And, I apologize now if I get that song in anyone's head! It's a fluff moment they need them!

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem-Phil Donahue"

Summer's POV:

Summer knocked on Beth's door slightly going in. "Good to see you up," she said as she sat on the bed. "Lori told us about the knife."

"What's the point anymore? There's none," Beth told Summer.

"No point? Beth, we're alive, right here right now," Summer told her.

"I asked Maggie to do it with me…she refused. But what if you and I do it? Maybe Maggie has something to live for now with Glenn. But what do we have?" Beth asked.

Summer shook her head. "No Beth. What do we have to live for? We have our families to live for. My mom is in love for the first time in her life. I want to watch it bloom, I want to tease her. I don't care if it's a day or a week, or a year, but I want to see what happens. You have Jimmy. Yeah maybe he wasn't supposed to be forever, and maybe he isn't. But we aren't the only survivors. One day, I may meet up with some guy that makes me feel alive, you too. But you do this now, how are you ever going to know?" she asked.

"We could do it real peaceful like," Beth insisted.

"No! You listen to me Beth. I'm saying this as a friend. You know your bible right? With Herschel as your dad?" Summer asked.

"Yeah….why?" Beth questioned.

"Mathew 5:5: Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the Earth. I'm not a big church goer, but Jane she read her bible to me. Some things stuck. That always struck a chord. Yeah, you got Uncle Daryl, your dad, Rick, Shane, and T but you also got people like Glenn, Maggie, my mom-who can be meek or a lion-you, Patricia, Mitch and me. We all balance each other out. Maybe some of us won't make it, maybe all of us will. But we are here now, Beth. We've survived this long," Summer told her.

"I've been on this farm," Beth told her.

"Yes and you are still alive. You think you wouldn't survive out there, but you would. We would. Doin' what you want to do, is takin' away the opportunity you are bein' given. I saw it at the CDC. The whackadoodle doctor was the only person that stayed; he let us in, the whole time knowin' the whole building was gonna explode in less than a day. Fed us, gave us beds to sleep in, and gave the adults alcohol. He didn't tell us, we had to pull it out of him. He was to chicken to do it by himself. Jaqui made her decision, she stayed. But she was thinkin' clearly, you aren't. Andrea was mournin' her sister Amy and she wanted to stay but Dale knew she wasn't thinkin' clearly, so he got her out of there. She hated him for a while. You can hate me, I don't care. Because I think in the long run you'll be amazed at how strong you are," Summer said.

"Are you sure you're only fifteen?" Maggie asked as she came in.

"Accordin' to my mom and Uncle Daryl, who both were there, yeah," Summer responded.

"She's right Beth, your stronger then you think," Maggie told her. "I'm going to stay with her for a bit," she told the other teen. "Thanks."

"No problem," Summer answered as she went out the door.

Jewel's POV:

Jewel smiled as Summer came down to the picnic area. "Alright, I know that look. You are worried bout somethin'. Same look Uncle Daryl gets. What's botherin' you?"

"Beth…did you ever think of suicide?" Summer asked curiously.

Jewel squeezed her hand. "Once, when I was about twelve, but it was just a passing thought. I was going to get out of that place, be the first Dixon to graduate highschool and I wasn't going to let my daddy have the pleasure of being right."

"Not even at the CDC?" Summer asked.

Jewel looked at her and brought her chin up to her. "Summer Grace, I need you to tell me, did you think about it at the CDC?"

"A passing thought, like you said. I wondered what if there was no hope," Summer answered.

"And what made you decide against it? Other than your Uncle Daryl and I would have picked you up and put you over a shoulder?" Jewel asked.

Summer gave a small smile. "Whatever was out there…it was life. We were alive, right then and there, and I didn't like the sound of it bein' over in a second."

Jewel touched her cheek. "That's my girl, my beautiful intelligent amazing smart child. But you aren't a child anymore, are you? You're growin' up," she said. "Rick said somethin' to Hershel that I could have sworn he was channeling straight from Jane."

"What?" Summer asked.

"He said death was death. Weather it came from a heart attack, cancer or a walker, it makes no difference," Jewel told her.

Summer laughed. "I could hear Jane sayin' that," she admitted.

"Yeah, so I told Rick I loved him before he left," Jewel told her.

Summer grabbed onto the bench as not to fall off. "The world's goin' to end. Wait….it already has, never mind bad joke," she said with a grin. "Jane would be crossin' her arms and laughing."

"One of those belly laughs that starts at the toes and goes up to the shoulders, where her whole body would shake," Jewel reminisced.

"Yeah, and that look, with those big black eyes that she'd stare at you with, and they'd be sayin' the whole time 'told you so, told you so'," Summer said as she started laughing.

"Do you remember the first time she gave you that look and laugh?" Jewel asked.

Summer laughed. "I was seven; I wanted to try out for the Sound of Music but was to shy. She worked with me every day, took me to the audition, sat in on the audition with you," she said.

"You started so soft, but boy did you come on strong, got it right then and there, and we got in the car and Jane turned around from the driver's side, looked at you and just started laughing. We didn't leave the parking lot for two hours," Jewel said with a laugh. "Think this is the perfect time for a song."

"MOM No!" Summer said with a laugh.

"Oh come on, please?" Jewel said with a grin. "God knows that you drove us mad with that song for a month practicing."

Summer laughed. "Fine…" she said as she sighed. "Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles, and warm winter mittens, brown paper packages tied up with string, these are some of my favorite things," she sung starting off softly, noticing everyone turning and looking at her. "Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels, door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles, wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, these are some of my favorite things," she sung and smiled as Maggie came down and sat down beside her.

"Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, silver white winters that melt into spring, these are some of my favorite things!" Maggie and she sung. "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad!"

Summer laughed as they finished and everyone started to clap. "We need to get Beth down here, the three of us could start a group," Maggie teased her.

"You two were amazing," Glenn said as he kissed Maggie. "You could have done that at the quarry," he told Summer.

Summer laughed. "Um no, one time performance only."

"She was great when she did the musical, the director wanted her back for everyone, and she refused. She preferred to sing in her room then in a crowd," Jewel said.

"Beth was the same way," Maggie said.

Rick POV:

Rick and Shane untied Randall and left him with supplies and turned around to leave.

"The hell is this? Oh, come on, don't be stupid. I owe you guys. I can help protect what you've got. Why would you save my life just to kill me by leaving me here? One guy- one guy can't make it alone. That's why I was with those dudes- I was alone.
Don't be stupid! I'm not like them! I'm just some guy! I used to watch football and screw around on the Internet. I lived with my mom! I lost her like you lost people.
I went to school with Maggie for God's sake! I went to church. I rode the bench on varsity baseball!" Randal said.

Shane and Rick both turned around and looked at him then at each other. "You went to school with Maggie? You go to school with Maggie? Answer the question! Did you go to school with Maggie?" Shane yelled.

" I- it- she didn't know me. Didn't even know I existed.I mean, I knew her.I knew who her dad was. There is no way I would ever do anything - to hurt her or her family," Randal insisted.

"Jesus," Shane said as he took a breath.

"Or you- or your people! I'm not like the guys I was with!" Randal begged.

Shane ran his hand through his bald hair. "He knows where the farm is, Rick. Where we are- he knows," Shane stated. "Say he finds his way back to his people," he told Rick.

"Shane, no! Not now- just not now!" Rick said as he knocked Shane's gun out of his hand he fired.

"Well, when, Rick? When?" Shane asked.

"When I've had a chance to think about it," Rick said.

"Don't let him kill me. Please don't," Randall begged.

"Shut up! We're going back," Rick told them. "It's a man's life. I need a night to think it through," Rick informed Shane.

"You're gonna bring this piece of garbage- this piece of garbage who- he shot at you, Rick. He ran with men who tried to kill you. You gonna bring him back to where Lori sleeps? To where Carl sleeps? To where Jewel and Summer sleeps?"

"He'll be locked up in the barn, - unless you bust it open," Rick told him.

"Oh, don't start that shit," Shane told the other man.

"I'm taking the night," Rick informed him.

"Man, you take that- you think on it, Rick," Shane told him. "Keep struggling with it. It ain't hard, man. The right choice is the one that keeps us alive," Shane hissed. "It's always the same with you. It's like the first moment- it's whenever you're put to the test," Shane told him.

"Stop acting like you know the way ahead, like you know the rules. There are no rules, man.
We're lost," Rick told him.

"No-no-no, man, I know exactly where I am," Shane told him.

"You don't know shit anymore," Rick told him.

"I don't think you can do it, Rick," Shane challenged him.

"It's my call, man," Rick told him.

"I don't think you can keep them safe," Shane hissed as Rick looked at him and went to punch him. "Ah! Damn! God! No! Get off me, man," Shane said as he pushed him.