Amanda, being the swift attorney that she was dodged his question and peppered him with questions of her own about Charmaine and for some reason, he did what he would do for very few people, he began to tell her the story of his first love and heartbreak.

Her name was Charmaine Brisfort and she was a supermodel. "And I don't mean as pretty as a supermodel," Billy said. "I mean she was really a model before college. Walked runways all over the world. Photo layouts everything."

"Uh huh, no need to wax poetic about her beauty," Amanda said. "Get on with the story."

"Well, I've always been a greedy bastard, so her beauty is part of the story and she was brilliant because I want it all-brains, beauty, personality, everything. My friend Paul Jackson says I require way too much, but I can't help it. I need a whole entire package. Not part of what I want. All of it."

"Okay, gotcha," Amanda said. "Now on with the story."

They were sitting outside of Crimson Lights. The coffee shop wasn't closed, but the staff had started to sweep and mop up, so Billy suggested they head back to the Grand Phoenix, but as soon as they got into the car, Amanda asked him for the second time to tell her about Charmaine. Billy sighed and debated with himself for a moment wondering if telling Amanda about Charmaine was a good idea. He only told this story to very few people. His best friend Paul Jackson knew and he told Victoria, but only after they'd been together for awhile. What if Amanda's jokes did reveal her true intentions and she wanted to use what he told her against him one day. Also he felt strange about Amanda's interest in this particular story-obviously it was because Charmaine was black. He wondered if he should tell her solely for that reason.

Despite his misgivings the truth was he would tell Amanda anything she wanted to know about him. Perhaps his trust in her would be his downfall one day. Screw it. Not like he never took a risk before and while staring into Amanda's curious midnight dark eyes in the near total darkness of his car, he opened up.

In some ways, he was the same person as he was back in college, cocky and overconfident. Word was going around in his English class-which he rarely attended-that a famous supermodel was in their midst. It was one of those huge classes with stadium seating. One day he decided to go and some guys he used to hang out with-not for long because none of them had any balls-were standing around talking about the famed celebrity. He had his eye on quite a few girls in the class, honestly in every class, in the dining hall. In the dorm next to his. Pretty girls were all over the place and he didn't see what the big deal was. That is until he saw her. As he stood right outside of the building with the other guys, Charmaine emerged and it was like he had been struck by lightning. She was dressed like every other student leggings and a sweatshirt. You could tell that she was trying hard to fit in, but with those perfectly sculpted cheekbones, almond shaped hazel eyes and smooth dark chocolate skin, she could never blend into a crowd.

As Charmaine walked by, all of the other guys stared at her gaping, awestruck and paralyzed. Meanwhile Billy felt galvanized. He left the group of boys, and fell in step beside her. He told her he hoped she was able to stay awake during the lecture and had taken good notes because he was not so fortunate and would be needing them. He wasn't lying. It was an 8 o'clock class and he slept pretty much all the way through it. She laughed and they became instant friends. She would later confess he was her first real friend on campus.

"What?" Amanda asked incredulously. "With all of those awestruck boys on campus, no one else tried to befriend her?"

"They were all pus…" Billy cleared his throat. "They were all wimps and afraid to talk to her. She said even the girls in her dorm were standoffish."

"Wow, I would have thought the exact opposite would be true."

"Also she was very shy and very focused on her school work. She was a double major pre med and engineering."

"Damn. BlackGirlMagic if full effect.:

Billy chuckled.

"Go on with the story," Amanda urged. "You were friends? When did the passionate love come into play?"

For Billy it was a passionate love at first sight, but Charmaine grew up with tutors and helicopter parents. She never had a boyfriend, had never even been kissed, so they settled on friendship. And because of her friendship he made the Dean's List the first and only time in his academic career. When he was hanging out with her on the daily basis, all she did was study. She'd take a break to joke around a bit, have meals and exercise then she would hit the books again. No parties and not much socializing. When she woke up in the morning, she reached for a text book first thing. Their relationship was so chaste, they slept together in a narrow bed one night during finals week and nothing happened. This nearly killed nineteen year old Billy, but he endured.

"So did the two of you ever take things to the next level?" Amanda asked.

Billy paused wondering where this entire line of questioning was coming from. He did not know Amanda well enough to tell her this story that few people knew. Still the desire to tell her what she wanted to know outweighed his misgivings. He'd tell Amanda everything-and then he'd make her pay for prying into his past like this when he could tell she preferred not to talk about her own. "No," Billy said. "We never did much beyond a few kisses here and there."

"Well why not? Sounds like the two of you were into each other. College sweethearts. Teenagers. First loves."

Billy rolled his eyes at the first love comment, tho she was right. He'd had head over heels crushes on girls before that, but Charmaine was different. He was serious about her and it was a painful subject he'd rather leave in the past. "It's getting late. And I'm pretty talked out for one night. I should get you back to the Grand Phoenix and we can pick this up again tomorrow," he said and started the car. The last of the employees had filed out of the coffee house and they were locking up.

"Oh no come on. I don't want to go back until you tell me the rest of the story."

"Okay," Billy drawled, mentally formulating the payment he was going to extract from Amanda for getting him to talk about Charmaine. "but a story like this needs an interesting backdrop." He pulled out into the road and fifteen minutes later they were at the highest point in Genoa City overlooking the twinkling lights of the town below.

"One thing I have to say about GC is that it's very scenic. This is a beautiful view," Amanda said breathlessly. "Can we get out of the car?"

"Sure," Billy said, but as soon as he went to open the door, several drops of rain landed on the windshield. "I guess we have to nix that idea for now. Another time, perhaps."

"Oh that sucks. I hope it doesn't rain hard or it will spoil the view. But now that I think about it, the rain fits the mood of the story. Young star crossed lovers."

"What?" Billy screwed up his face. "I'm glad you are finding this entertaining. It's not exactly a topic I talk about often. And to be honest, I'd rather not talk about it."

"Why is that?"

The explanation of why it was so difficult to talk about that time in his life was actually a topic more painful than what actually happened between him and Charmaine, so he decided it was best to finish telling the story, so he could give Amanda what she had coming to her.

"Anyway, where was I in the story?"

"You were telling me why you and supermodel Charmaine never went beyond kissing."

"Right…" Billy shifted in his seat and looked out of the window. The rain did mar the view, but it also gave the lights an interesting dimension, blurring them. The image was like an artsy photograph. "Charmaine and I were very good friends and I was beyond smitten with her. I gave up chasing all other girls and hung out with her exclusively. But then I made a fatal error."

"Oh, what happened?"

He could hear the intrigue in Amanda's voice like he was telling the most fascinating absorbing tale she'd ever heard. Which had to be far from the truth. She was an experienced attorney and had heard just about everything by now. Surely she was just encouraging him to share more details, but why?

"Well, I was Charmaine's first really good friend on campus. After awhile she did make some other friends and one of them was this geek named Tony. When I would study with Charmaine, he would be around and a few other nerdy friends. And I was faithful to her, for an entire semester, four months!"

"Uh oh, sounds like your patience wore thin."

"I think if we stayed in each other's orbits, it would have been okay, but there was a break between semesters. We both went home. I came back here and she went back to LA. I figured since it was a school break, what the hell."

"You didn't" Amanda gasped. "When you had sweet, smart, perfect Charmaine. How could you?"

"I was nineteen and stupid. So I did. I went to this party and hooked up with this girl. To this day I have no idea how Charmaine found out and it bothered her very much that the girl was white."

"Billy, come on. You really don't understand why that would upset her?"

"She explained that it made her feel like I really wanted a white girl and not her. I don't get that logic. It was a girl I found attractive. She could have been purple. That's not why I did it. I did it because I was impatient and selfish and still sowing my wild oats. Which by the way continued for years and years."

"So she broke up with you?"

"No, I broke it off with her."

"What...Why?"

"Because she slept with her good friend Tony to get back at me."

"Ohhhhhh no she didn't" Amanda slapped her thigh. "Was Tony black or white?"

Billy paused and rubbed his chin. "I've told this story exactly two times before. My friend Paul who is black and Victoria asked that same question. Why is that so important to people? My God."

Amanda laughed. "Well, you gotta tell me. Was he black?"

"Yep."

"Man, girlfriend got you good," Amanda shook her head, still chortling. "But hey, as they say turnabout is fair play. But Billy if you cheated first and you were both only nineteen, why couldn't you forgive her?"

"I felt like her first time should have been with me. I waited an entire semester. I was faithful to her. I felt like I wasted my time."

"Were you only after her virginity?"

"She asked me the same question. And I couldn't answer her honestly at the time. She told me that she would only have sex with someone if she loved him. She and I were together for months. I get nothing. I mess up and she's with Tony just like that," he snapped his fingers. "I wasn't after her virginity. What I really wanted was her. All of her. I was really in love."

"You thought she didn't love you in return because Tony was her first?"

"She didn't see me in the same way she saw him, which was quite the blow to my teenaged ego. After All, I played football in high school and Tony was on the f*cking debate team. I was the one who was supposed to get the girl, or so went my thinking back then."

"Since she didn't attend regular school, I guess she wasn't trained in the whole jock mystique thing like the rest of us, I guess." Amanda covered her mouth in a mock attempt to hide her laughter from him.

"I'm telling you about one of the most painful rejections of my life and you think it's funny." Billy made sure to keep his tone light, luring her into thinking it wasn't a big deal. Let her laugh now, She was in for it later.

"Sorry," Amanda giggled. "Not sorry…" Then she laughed outright. "Something tells me despite this one rejection, in your early life you still had quite a bit of success with the ladies," She cleared her throat and pulled the hem of her dress closer to her knees.

"What gives you that idea?" Billy asked. In the darkness of the car with the main illumination coming from the parking lights, he could see Amanda pressing her legs together. Her glass of champagne had worn off and she was now on guard. Part of him was glad, while he enjoyed the version of Amanda that melted into him on the dance floor at the gala, right now he wanted her mind in pristine working order, her thinking crystal clear. And tho she laughed at his story, there was a rigidness about her body. She was not completely relaxed as he was.

"Just a hunch, I guess," she replied. "Did you remain friends with her after the breakup?" Amanda asked, urging him to return to the story.

"You know how hindsight is twenty-twenty. I realized Tony was the one she loved the whole time, I just happened to befriend her first. She was probably looking for an excuse to break up with me to be with him. After we officially parted ways, they got together and I really didn't see them too much after that. I stopped hanging out at the library, their favorite place."

For a few moments neither of them spoke and the only sound was the rain softly falling on the windshield and the roof. The mood changed, the playful atmosphere receding into the night. Billy felt the somberness that usually accompanied these memories. Amanda was not getting away with having him go through this when they hadn't reached such an intimate level in their relationship. But at least the story was out. She knew something he hardly told anyone. In a way he was amazed that she'd gotten it out of him.

"I don't mean to diminish what happened between the two of you but," Amanda said, determined to keep the topic of Charmaine alive, "Come on. Was that really love or puppy love?"

"It felt very real to me. That incident and some other things that happened around that time paved the way to my being the screwed up individual I am today. I thought what the hell, if I'm good or if I'm bad it doesn't matter, and being bad was so much more fun to a man like me."

"You used the situation-where you felt you were treated unfairly-as an excuse to act out." Amanda stated. This wasn't a question.

"Are you an attorney or a psychoanalyst?"

"Sometimes it's one in the same. Also I was told that writers think this way too. Always trying to get at the heart of an individual's motivation."

"So glad you brought that up. The topic of motivation," Billy said. Amanda unwittingly played right into his hands. He did not like talking about Charmaine and being reminded of his first heartbreak. There were others of course, but this was the most influential in terms of the trajectory of his life thereafter. He was so young, vulnerable not to mention humiliated and embarrassed. It was his first major loss. And also the first time he attempted to assuage his negative feelings with women, alcohol and his nemesis-gambling. On previous occasions, he'd told Amanda that he had some serious issues. He told her about losing the boat, but never told her that gambling was an addiction. Amanda probably wanted to know all of that as well in detail, but he'd shared enough for one night. Too much. It was time to turn the tables.

"Now, that I told you everything that you wanted to know about Charmaine. I want to know why you're so curious."

Amanda shrugged. He could see the outline of her bare shoulders rising and falling in the darkness. "It seemed like an interesting story."

"You find my pain and suffering entertaining?"

"I wouldn't put it like that," Amanda shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I probably shouldn't have pressed you to tell me about Charmaine."

"Oh that's convenient to say now that I've already told you."

"You're right. I shouldn't have been such a pest about it."

"I said several times that I'd rather not talk about it."

"My apologies for insisting and laughing. That was insensitive."

"Aaaaah...I accept your apology," Billy said magnanimously and he heard Amanda breath a sigh of relief. He grinned in the dark. She had no idea of what was coming next. "But do you mind if I ask you a very personal question?"

"I don't enjoy talking about my past either, but I suppose it's only fair," she sighed. "Go ahead ask me anything and I'll tell you."

Billy's grin widened. This is going to be so easy, he thought. "Right now I have no interest in your past."

"Oh?" He could hear the confusion in her voice. "What do you want to know?"

"I want to know..." he turned around in his seat so that he was facing her as much as possible within the confines of the front seat of his car. "I want to know. How wet are you right now?"

"It's raining outside, but…" Amanda started to say until understanding dawned. "Billy...what?"