.
.
"I am being guarded," Madara's eyes narrow, "by a prepubescent little boy?"
"Oi! I'm not prepubescent, dattebayo! I'm just as tall as Sasuke is, and-"
"Quiet," Madara says, and Hashi laughs behind them.
"Sorry," Hashi says. "They say he's the strongest shinobi in all the five villages. He's even stronger than their kage."
"More proof that this generation is laughable."
"Dammit, Old Man Madara! You're just a grouchy old man with bags under your eyes, dattebayo!"
"And apparently he's not too observant," Madara says.
She's visiting Tsunade again, this time to notify her of Madara's presence. Craning her neck at the tall walls of the Hokage palace, she motions to Madara to follow her as they step through the gates. The double doors open and Tsunade comes striding down the hall.
"Grandmother!" Tsunade comes up to Hashi, her Hokage robes fluttering as she walked.
Hashi throws her arms around her. "Finally, a proper reunion!" Hashi says. She hugs Tsunade and pulls back, looking at her. "You look just like Mito!" Hashi says. Tsunade's eyes light up.
"I take after Great Grandmother?"
"The spitting image!" Hashi says. "All you need is red hair."
In the back, Madara stands with his arms crossed, watching everything unfold. Around him, Konoha guards stand, trembling a bit in his periphery. Madara smirks. Good. He should inspire fear in others. The guards whisper amongst themselves while Hashi and Tsunade keep chatting. "Please, don't call me 'grandmother,' it makes me feel so old! Physically we're the same age," Hashi says.
Tsunade laughs. "I'll have you know I'm already well into my sixties."
"You're using your healing ability to maintain your youth?"
Tsunade grins. "Is that vain of me?" she asks. Hashi laughs.
"I did the same thing!" Hashi says, and she clasps Tsunade's hand. "Please. Call me 'nee-san,' if you call me anything."
"Hashirama-neesan."
"Hai!"
Madara sighs heavily.
"I don't see the point of this," Madara says. They're leaving the Hokage palace, Hashi and Madara walking side-by-side while Naruto cheerfully follows them. "The mission they assigned us could just as well be covered by chuunin. This is a waste of our skills and our time."
"Just think of it as part of your reintegration," Hashi says. "You've been comatose for almost a month, now. Even in the best of times, it'd be difficult reintegrating into the village."
Madara glowers. Hashi smiles.
"Ne, Hashirama-neesan!" Naruto jogs up next to them, pushing between Hashi and Madara. Madara gives him an irritated look but Naruto barrels forward: "I heard from Tobirama-san that you created Sexy No Jutsu!"
"I did!" Hashi says, and Madara rolls his eyes. "Do you want to see?"
"Yeah I do!"
Hashi claps her hands.
A puff of smoke, and Madara is suddenly standing next to the broad-shouldered, overly-muscled dunderhead counterpart of his friend. "How is this?" Hashirama says, and his voice booms as he throws his head back and laughs magnificently.
"Whoa! You're taller than Old Man Madara!"
"Of course! I'm the epitome of manhood!"
"Wanna see mine?" Naruto says, and he claps his hands before Hashirama answers.
POOF. A puff of pink smoke dissipates around them, and Naruko winks at Hashirama seductively.
"Ooh! Sexy!" Hashirama says. Madara claps his hand over his face while Naruko twirls and grins.
"There's even cat ears!" Naruko says. Her yellow pigtails bounce as she talks.
They walk, Hashi and Naruto laughing and chatting in front. Madara trails behind them like an irritated shadow.