Disclaimer: I do not own any of the rights, cast or crew of SOA, nor do I own the show. This is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes. However, I do own the original character(s).

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE: A Year and a Half Later

Jenna waited impatiently at the clubhouse with Tara, Gemma, a few crow eaters and hang arounds. She was sitting at the picnic table coloring with Abel. Opie, Chibs, Kozik and a few mechanics left for Stockton to be there when Jax, Clay, Tig, Bobby, Juice and Happy got out. It had been 18 months since she had seen all of the guys. She didn't visit them once while they had been inside. She couldn't bring herself to see them that way and especially once she had heard that Jax had gotten shivved by the Russians.

The last 18 months had been hard for her. Her and Ope's relationship was up and down. He wanted to have a kid with her but she just couldn't bring herself to get pregnant. She was still hurt over her last pregnancy and she came close a few times telling Opie about her pregnancy but she couldn't. That was something she wanted to forget but every time he brought up having a baby with her, it brought back all those emotions of losing her first baby. It just wasn't the right time, she would tell him.

She had become rather close with Kozik, since he had gotten patched in. She often giggled at the thought of how Tig would feel about it. She didn't quite understand what the rift was between Tig and Kozik. She knew it had to do with a women, it often does.

She heard bikes and they pulled up and everyone was excited. Gemma went up to Clay, Tara to Jax. Jenna gave Opie a quick kiss and went over to Tig, Bobby, Happy, and Juice. She gave each of them kisses on the cheeks and hugs. She touched Juice's full head of hair.

"It's a good look for you, Juicy." She smiled giving him a wink before walking back up to Opie.

She had always had a soft spot for the sweet, gullible Juice. He was probably her closest friend in the club. While they were in Belfast a year and a half earlier, Juice was in charge looking out for her, Trinity, and Kerrianne and she had gotten close with him over that week in Ireland.

She went up and hugged her stepfather and then her brother. He hugged her tightly for a few minutes and finally let her go.

"Church!" Clay announced.

"About the new Sheriff?" Jenna asked her brother.

"Among other things." He said kissing her forehead. "Missed you kid."

"Missed you too." She said as she watched him kiss Tara one more time before heading into the clubhouse.

"What was that?" Tara asked coming up to her holding Thomas.

"What?" Jenna asked taking Thomas from her.

"That little moment with Juice." Tara said giving her a look.

Jenna rolled her eyes. "All I said was that it was a good look for him."

Tara cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrow.

"You're making it into more than what it is." She told her friend.

"How are you and Opie?"

"Up and down." Jenna said with a sigh as she switched Thomas to her other arm. "Feels like I'm on a damn rollercoaster. That's what I signed up for, right?"

Tara gave a sympathetic look and put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Things will get better, Jen."

"Opie is not changing his mind." Jenna said shaking her head. "He wants a baby. I'm not ready for that now."

Tara nodded as Jenna handed her Thomas back.

"I'm going home." She told her best friend. "I'm not feeling good."

Tara watched as her friend got into her car and left the lot.

"Where the hell is she going?" Gemma asked walking up to Tara.

"She isn't feeling good so she went home." Tara said turning to Gemma.

Jenna walked into her house she shared with Opie and sighed. Maybe she should just give in and have a child with Opie. Even Tara was questioning her about the whole kid situation. It wasn't that she didn't want to have Ope's child, Opie was the love of her life. She had just seen what Tara had gone through. Alone in her pregnancy and alone for 18 months. She knew she could handle it if it happened to her. Hell she was Jenna Teller, she could handle anything. She just didn't want to.

Jenna had just gotten out of the shower and walked into the bedroom when she seen Opie sitting on the bed.

"Hey babe. You feeling ok?" He asked concerned.

"I'm fine." She said as he pulled her to him. "Just got a little hot I guess and sick to my stomach."

He looked down at her stomach.

"Why are you so against getting pregnant?" He asked bringing the topic up once again.

"I love you." She said looking down at him. "More than anything. You're my first love, Ope."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

She sighed and sat down beside him on the edge of the bed.

"I was pregnant before I came back to Charming." She admitted tears welling up in her eyes. "I was 4 months pregnant. Chad pushed me down a flight of stairs and I lost the baby. I found out days before that it was a girl."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged. She really didn't have a reason to why she didn't.

"Come here." He said pulling her into his arms and he kissed the top of her head. "I don't know what it's like to lose a baby. The pain will never go away, but you can't let that stop you from living your life and becoming a mom."

She nodded as she wiped the tears from her cheek. She closed her eyes and let out a loud exhale.

"Ok." She agreed. "Let's do it."

He pulled away from her and looked at her with a straight face.

"Let's have a baby, Opie."

He smiled and pulled her to him for a kiss. He pushed her back and hovered over her. He untied her robe and kissed her neck. He kissed the spot on her neck and she moaned. She pushed his kutte off and she heard the leather hit the floor.

An hour later, Opie got dressed again to headed back to the clubhouse. Jenna went into the bathroom and opened the drawer and pulled out her birth control pills. She looked at the packet for a few minutes before popping out the rest of the pills from the foil packet and flushing them down the toilet.

She officially just waved her white flag.

A/N: Merry Christmas!