.

.

This is how Hashi accidentally summoned Izuna.

They were sitting in the middle of a tavern, sharing a bottle of sake and grilled meat and trading war stories, when Tsunade gestured around them.

"I'm telling you, Older Sister," Tsunade grinned, her face red and swirling her bottle of sake, "this place has the best alcohol and the best snacks! We should go here more often."

Hashi laughed and poured Tsunade another cup. Tsunade threw her head back and took it like a shot. "Ahh!" Tsunade said. She slammed the cup down on the table. "Give me some more!"

Hashi laughed. "That's not how you're supposed to drink sake."

"Eh? I'm not drinking it for the taste, you know."

"Geez, I wish I could get drunk," Hashi said. She put her head in her hands. "It looks like so much fun."

"It's only fun in the moment, it's not so fun when you're throwing up or hungover."

"Mm, but your healing ability counteracts that, right?" Hashi said. Tsunade waved her hand.

"My healing ability isn't as strong as yours, Older Sister. Any more sake and I'll start making bad decisions." Tsunade sat up.

"Oh, I know!" Tsunade said. She clapped her hands, excitedly. "We should summon Katsuyu-chan!"

"Who's Katsuyu-chan?" Hashi said.

"She's a slug princess from the Shikkotsu Forest, I have a summoning contract with her. I bet she can help you get drunk!"

"Eh?" Hashi said, but Tsunade staggered forward.

"Is this a good idea?" Hashi said, as Tsunade led her to the courtyard. It was nighttime now, and the sky was dark except for a sliver of moon and the streetlights around them. Tsunade waved her hand, took another swig, then clapped her hands.

A puff of smoke, and the courtyard was filled with the body of the giant slug, which curled around itself and reflected the moonlight on its slimy exterior. "Tsunade-sama? Is something wrong?"

"Ah, Katsuyu-san! This is my Great-great auntie Hashirama. We were just talking about how she can't get drunk."

"Oh indeed, that is an unusual situation, but how exactly is that a problem?"

Hashi raised her hand. "I want to make some bad decisions!" she said. Tsunade started laughing.

Katsuyu didn't seem amused. "I don't think this is wise, Tsunade-sama. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Oh c'mon Kaz, you can't inhibit her healing ability? Let her taste a little liquid courage?" Tsunade drunkenly threw her arm around Hashi's shoulder. "Ne?"

"I regret that I cannot."

"You're no fun at all," Tsunade said, and the slug disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Huh. I wonder if the reanimation jutsu works similar to a summoning contract?" Hashi said. Tsunade tilted her head.

"You mean the apocalyptic clusterfuck of undead shinobi? Why the hell would you want to do that?"

"I mean, aren't you the least bit curious? Tobirama created that jutsu with the intention of actually bringing people back, the whole undead kamikaze army thing was just a side effect of an imperfect jutsu."

"Oh. So you mean, if you were to imbue your chakra in the summons, just like you do when you perform a mokuton?"

Hashi nodded.

Tsunade started laughing.

As it turned out, Hashi didn't need liquid courage to make bad decisions. She poured a circle of salt in a summoning circle while Tsunade laughed and guzzled from a bottle of wine. "Who are you going to summon?" Tsunade asked. Hashi considered.

"I don't know. Our ancestors are always watching us, right? What if I just open the summoning to whoever answers?"

"Would that even work? I thought you needed some of their DNA?"

Hashi kept writing on the summoning scroll. "Well if we modify it like a normal summoning jutsu, we're not forcibly bringing them back, we're asking their permission. So we wouldn't need their DNA to trap them."

Tsunade raised her glass. "Sounds good to me," Tsunade said.

Hashi wove her hand seals, then clapped her hands. "Kuchiyose Edo Tensei!"

The ground rumbled.

They looked around. "Do you see any coffins anywhere?"

"No, I don't see anything."

Cicadas chirped. They could hear people walking and laughing in the street.

"Well that was a waste." Tsunade finished the bottle. "I think I'd better call it a night and go home."

"Thanks for coming out with me," Hashi said. Tsunade waved her hand.

"Anytime, anytime. That's what family's for."

Hashi hummed cheerfully and walked down the street toward their apartment. There was a bottle of bubble bath she was looking forward to trying - Madara was likely still gone on the mission, she looked forward to having the place to herself.

Gate. Stairs. Keypad. Hashi typed in the numbers to the automated lock and slipped off her shoes.

A large dark shape came hurtling toward her.

SLAM. Hashi skidded backwards, the force of whatever hit her taking her by surprise. She pushed upright but the thing spun into a roundhouse kick. Hashi blocked. Another punch, punch, a kick to the face, but Hashi blocked them all.

"Oh you picked the wrong place to rob!" Hashi said, and the black shape threw a swift kick toward her, but she caught it by the ankle and flipped him over.

"Aggh!"

She shoved him to the ground, her hand on his throat.

"Senju bitch." The man struggled. She couldn't see his face, but he opened his eyes and she could see the glittering red iris of an Uchiha Sharingan.

Hashi blinked. "Wait...Izuna?"

"AAAAAAAH!" Izuna headbutted her and shoved her off his chest. Hashi ran toward the door and threw on the light.

Izuna screamed and hissed, throwing his arm over his face.

"Oh crap." Hashi could see the cracks in Izuna's skin, the telltale black sclera of an undead shinobi's eyes. "Hey, hey listen. I think I accidentally summoned you-"

"Mangekyou Sharingan!"

"What?!" Hashi said, and Izuna ran forward and attacked, hurling himself toward her like a projectile weapon. He flew back and clapped his hands.

"Amaterasu!"

"No no no you're going to ruin the furniture-"

Black flames shot out toward her. She blocked it with her Mokuton.

"We're gonna lose our security deposit!" she cried, as Izuna hurled more jutsus.

xXx

.

The apartment was in shambles.

"Oh, crap," Hashi said. She looked around at the fire-scorched walls and the water-stained carpet. "Oh, crap crap crap."

"Senju bitch!" Izuna struggled in the chair. "Untie me!"

"Madara is going to kill me," Hashi said.