.
.
"Marriage certificate. Marriage certificate. Um..."
Hashi moves her mouse and opens the web browser.
They're sitting in front of a computer that Hashi had put together, because apparently there was a thing called the 'internet' where they could print out marriage documents. It was an ordeal - apparently it wasn't enough to set up the computer, they had to get an "internet service provider" to connect them, and apparently cable internet technicians are in such high demand, their wait times are as long as eight hours. ("Why aren't they here yet?" Madara had said, pacing. Hashi raised her hands.
"It's only been six hours, there's still a two hour window.")
Now Madara leans over Hashi's shoulder as she squints her eyes at the monitor and carefully moves her mouse, positioning the little cursor arrow over the search bar of their web browser.
Double click. The cursor blinks, waiting.
"Marriage certificate. Marriage certificate..." She presses one finger on the keyboard. "M. A." She looks down at the keyboard. "Where's the 'R' key?"
"The what?" Madara says.
"The 'R' key, I can't find it."
"There," Madara says, and Hashi presses it down with one finger.
"M, A, R, R...where's the 'I'?"
Madara points. "There."
"I, A-haha! I remembered that one! uh, M-A-R-R-I-A...G? Where's the G?" Her finger hovers. "G, G, G...where's the G...?"
Madara scowls. "This is ridiculous," he says, and he stands up, pushing past the small mountain of empty boxes and packing peanuts, detritus from the so-called computer Hashi had set up. Hashi looks up at him questioningly.
"The Uzumaki idiot," Madara says. He hitches his pack. "He's usually at the ramen stand during this time, correct?"
"Yeah, I think so, but why-"
"I'm going to use my Sharingan to learn how to type."
"You can do that?" Hashi says, but the door slams shut, he's already left. Hashi sighs and turns back to the web browser. She presses with one finger.
"G. E-"
She accidentally clicks the "X" on the top corner.
"Wait wait wait wait no no NO-"
The computer screen is a bright square in the dark of their living room, laughing at her.
xXx
.
Naruto is eating ramen with Iruka when Madara stalks up behind them.
"You will let me see you type," Madara says.
"Eh? Madara-ojiichan? What-"
Madara pulls out a laptop from his satchel and slams it in front of them. "Do it. Now."
Naruto and Iruka glance at each other. "Uh, this laptop isn't connected online, dattebayo. What do you want me to type?"
"I don't care. Figure it out."
"Maybe open the word processor?" Iruka says. Naruto gives a confused look at Madara, then begins to type. Madara's Sharingan turns.
xXx
.
Madara throws the door open to their apartment. "Move," he says. Hashi scoots out from the computer and Madara sits down in front of the keyboard. Decisively, he moves his mouse and clicks open the web browser.
His Sharingan turns. His fingers clack on the keyboard.
MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE ONLINE PDF
"Wow," Hashi says. Madara clicks search.
The computer spits out a list of nonsense back at them.
"What the hell is this?" Madara says, as they stare at a thousand listings on the page. "Wedding soundtrack? We are not looking for this!" Madara says. Hashi bangs her head on the keyboard.