.
.
The neighbor and his wife look out their window at the Uchiha family's backyard, growing more and more distressed.
"Is he...throwing rocks at her?" they peer through the curtains, watching the Uchiha hurling rocks while his daughter shrieks and laughs.
"I think that's some sort of ninja training," the neighbor's wife says. Another rock goes whizzing past their window.
xXx
.
They had never met shinobi before the Uchiha family moved in. They looked nice enough: the woman was pregnant and the man was carrying a little girl against his chest. The neighbor and his wife decided to talk to them.
"Is it true there was a war?" the neighbor's wife asked, after they made the necessary introductions. The female nin nodded.
"Oh, there was - but don't worry, everything's resolved," the female nin - Hashirama - said.
"Hmph. Hard to believe you ninjas fought an entire war in the span of two days. Are you sure you guys weren't just blowing steam?" the neighbor said. His wife elbowed him in the ribs.
Hashi laughed. "Oh, well we're pretty efficient when it comes to those things."
"So what brings you to the neighborhood? Usually shinobi stay in the inner gates of the village, we usually only get merchants moving in here."
"There are fewer idiots," the male one said, as he walked past them. The woman laughed.
"He has a little bit of a reputation. Nothing bad, it's just quieter here," she said.
"Reputation" was hardly the word for it: now the neighbor and his wife watch, growing more and more dismayed as the Uchiha and his feral children wreak havoc on the neighborhood.
"You know, I heard," the neighbor said, settling into his armchair, "that Uchiha Madara apparently was some sort of war criminal."
"No," his wife says. The neighbor nods.
"Yeah, and get this: his wife - that Hashi woman you always swap recipes with? - apparently she was in charge of guarding him."
His wife gasps, scandalized. "You're kidding."
"No, I'm not. That's what the tea merchant said."
"Yup, he's a war criminal," the tea merchant says, as the neighbor's wife pays for her groceries. "Not only that - they were both resurrected from the dead."
The wife scoffs. "No. That can't be true."
"It is! My cousin has a friend who knows a Konoha genin. That woman and that man there were resurrected. In fact," the tea merchant's voice lowers, "I heard the woman was the one who founded the village."
The wife starts laughing. "Senju Hashirama was a man," she says.
"Oh, yeah." The tea merchant looks sheepish. "I forgot about that."
The wife pays for her groceries and heads back.
xXx
.
The neighbor is fixing his roof when it suddenly collapses. He falls two storeys, landing in the rubble.
"Are you okay?" Hashi-san comes running. The neighbor's wife is hysterical.
"He's bleeding! We need to take him to the hospital!"
"It's okay." She puts her hands on the neighbor's chest. A faint blue glue emanates from her hands. "I can heal this."
The skin knits. The wife stares, awestruck, as the female nin calmly heals him.
The neighbor sits up. "Oh my god," he says. "How did you do that?"
The woman rubs her neck, smiling. "It's just a ninja thing. Don't worry about it."
"See, I told you, you should have hired someone to fix the roof!" the neighbor's wife says.
Hashi-san looks at their house. "I can fix that, if you want?"
"What? the tiling?"
"Well I can board it up - it might not look as nice but it'll at least stop the leaking." She claps her hands, and the neighbors watch, awestruck as the trunks of trees spring up from the earth, curling and taking the shape of the roof.
"There we go," Hashi-san says, smiling. "Well, I'm heading back to the house. My husband is training our kids and I need to be there to make sure he's not terrorizing the children."
"O-okay." The neighbors blink. Hashi waves.
"Let me know if you need anything."
"We will. And thank you."