Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

Chapter 90

Author's Note: Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Santa brought me a cold. BLAH. I must not have been a very good girl this year! LOL. Ah but review it makes me happy!

Jewel and Mar's POV:

Jewel gave Mar a smirk as she came down stairs. "So noticed Daryl wasn't on the perch earlier, and he wasn't with Merle. And you weren't around last night."

Mar looked at her. "You think you know something?" she asked her friend as she got something to eat.

"Oh I know I know something, Mar. Spill. But not all the details, he is my brother," Jewel told her friend.

"We worked things out….we talked," Mar answered with a blush.

"Right, talked, yeah I'm sure some of that talking was done without clothes on," Mar teased.

Mar shook her head. "You're the one that didn't want all the details, remember?" she teased. "So what did I miss? Anyone kill Merle?"

"No he's still alive," Jewel answered. "Rick, Michonne, Carl and I are going out on a run later."

"A run? Jewel if you haven't noticed you've still only got use of one hand and your ribs are probably still tender. Whatever it is, someone else can go," Mar told her.

Jewel shook her head. "I insisted on going. I can't be around Merle right now. I know I have to talk to him at some point, but right now I'm to angry and hurt to do it. Rick's going to Kings County to get the guns that he left at the station. I suggested we stop at the clinic, since we were on the way for medical supplies."

"Smart, Jane would have hidden things, but neither one of you know what your walking into," Mar reminded her.

"That's why we're taking Carl and Michonne. Rick doesn't trust Michonne and Merle alone together," Jewel pointed out.

"Officer Friendly don't trust much of anyone from what I can tell, except for you baby sister. I mean you seem to have the inside track with him, guess that's what happens when you open you legs to him. At least he trusts one Dixon, could work to our advantage," Merle said as he came in with Daryl to get some food.

"What is the prisoner doin' out of his cage Daryl?" Jewel asked keeping her eyes off Merle.

"Thought he needed to stretch his legs," Daryl answered. "Merle shut it."

Jewel stood up. "He eats, he goes back. He doesn't go anywhere else. Understand Daryl?"

"I got it," Daryl responded as he gave Mar a small smile.

"I'm standing right here baby sister, you got to talk to me at some point," Merle told her.

Jewel bumped Merle deliberately as she passed him not saying a word.

"Pretty well take that as no she doesn't," Mar said. "I'm going to go check on Mitch."

"Wasn't your kids name Peter?" Merle asked.

"Shut it Merle," Daryl said as he nodded to Mar as she left.

Jewel and Hershel's POV:

Jewel touched Judy's face as she laid in her make shift cradle. "Such a pretty girl, you know that?"

Hershel smiled as he came to the door. "Mind if I come in?"

"Of course not Hershel," Jewel said. "Just spending some time with pretty girl here. I remember when Summer was this old…I was scared I was going to break her or something."

Hershel laughed. "I think all parents are like that with there first born, or even there last child," he told her.

"What can I do for you Hershel?" Jewel asked as she looked up at him.

"I talked with Merle," Hershel told her.

Jewel looked at him. "I hope he didn't ask you come to here and try and ask me to forgive him. Because if he did, then you just wasted your energy coming here Hershel."

Hershel patted her good hand. "He didn't Jewel. I came here because I know you. I know that him coming back into your life after you thought he was dead for a year, that's a gift. A gift we don't get that often, not in the way the world is now. If he died tomorrow, and you physically saw his body, you'd be angry. Not with him, but with yourself. You'd have a whole lot of guilt about things that should have been said, but you never got a chance to say. You have that chance now Jewel. You have an opportunity to clear the air between you," Hershel told her.

Jewel looked at him. "How can you forgive him for what he did to Glenn? What he allowed to happen to Maggie? What he allowed happen to me?"

"I forgive him, but I don't forget," Hershel told her. "I've seen the scars on yours and Daryl's back, I assume Merle has them too?"

Jewel nodded as she looked at Judith. "Our father was a mean drunk," she told him.

"That's what I figured. So was mine. I left the farm and never came back until he was dead. This was when the dead stayed dead. I promised myself I'd never be that type of parent. I see you with Summer, Carl, Mitch, Beth and this baby, and I know you've promised yourself the same thing. There are things I wish I had told my father, things I would make him understand. I'm never going to get that chance. But right now Jewel, you have that chance with your brother. It's just not what he did at Woodbury, it's what he did your whole life, for not being there when you needed him. You've over came it, Jewel, but there's a part of you that needs to get it off your chest, for your sanity. Daryl is still going to try to make him a better person, give him a chance. But I think it's you that will make a difference. I heard him talking about you and Daryl, you can't fake how much he regrets what he's done. You, Daryl and him, you're all here, all together. Let him have it, let the tears fly, hit him. Whatever you need to do not let it destroy your soul, Jewel. You're to important to all of us to see you let this eat you up. We depend on you, you're the one who keeps Rick balanced. You're the one who is always thinking two steps ahead of everything. But I've seen you since you've been back, you're worrying about Glenn, about Maggie, trying to keep what the Governor did to you out of your mind. I have a feeling it's about something Merle said," Hershel told her softly.

Jewel raised her head slightly. "I was raped when I was 15, by a friend of Merle's. Rather then tell him, I pretended that I was lose. He never even thought to ask me what happened. He mentioned that the man had been in Woodbury and he figured it out, took care of it. It's a bit late, don't you think?"

"But he took care of it. He put it together and what he couldn't do then, he did now. He protected you the only way he knew how. He could have just walked away, but he didn't," Hershel told her. "He did what a big brother does, just took him a while."

"And what about what he allowed the Governor to do? What he did to Glenn? What he would do to Rick? Merle is a vindictive son of a…sorry Hershel, but bitch. Every single time that I've let him in, forgave him, he's done something else stupid," Jewel said as she shook her head.

"Were you mad when he didn't come back on that run from Atlanta? Or were you grateful that he didn't? That was the first time you met Rick right?" Hershel asked.

"I was mad of course, he's my brother, blood…." Jewel said as she shook her head. "Alright point taken Hershel. But the honest truth is, Daryl became his own man because Merle wasn't around. I don't want to see Daryl going back to what he was."

"And what about you?" Hershel asked.

Jewel sighed. "I wouldn't have let myself fall in love with Rick. I would have pulled away, using the excuse Dixon's don't deserve love. Truth is, I still tried that. But if Merle had been around, it would have been an easier excuse to use because no one trusted any of us back at the quarry."

"We all trust you and Daryl here, and Summer. Merle's the odd man out. Anyone here knows that you and Daryl would do anything for them, would give up your lives for anyone of us," Hershel told her.

"I'll think about Hershel, I'm going on a run with Rick, Michonne and Carl. I'll really think about what you said. But Merle's going to have to keep his mouth shut and let me talk then maybe, I'll let him say something," she said. "Can you send Summer or Beth in to get little monkey here?"

"Of course," Hershel said as he squeezed her shoulder and walked out of the cell.