.
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Uchiha Madara is an imposing figure as he walks down the aisle of the convenience store: people turn heads as he passes them, the wild mass of black hair and the high collar of his Uchiha cassock completely at odds with the civilians and normal nin wearing khakis and T-shirts.
Uchiha Madara is carrying a plastic red basket. He moves rapidly and efficiently: a bento for two, a few bottles of water. He's about to round over to the register when a sign catches his eye.
FAMILY PLANNING, it says. Madara's brow creases. He walks over.
xXx
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"What's this?" Hashi says, as Madara shows her the box of condoms and the bottle of lubricant he purchased from the store earlier.
"I do not know," Madara says. He shakes the box, showing her. "To be honest, I've been curious about what these little boxes mean, but I've not had the opportunity to actually purchase them."
Hashi picks up the bottle of lube, examining it in the light.
"Hm. This is apple-flavored. Do you drink this?" Hashi says. She unscrews the cap and sniffs. She daubs a little on her finger and takes a taste. She grimaces. "Ew." She picks up the box of condoms. "What's this? 'Trojan, her pleasure, variety pack.' Is this like a tampon?"
"Perhaps it is a masturbatory aid," Madara says. Hashi opens the box.
The condoms fall out, all in colorful tin foil wrappers. Hashi tears one open and holds the ring up to the light. She pushes her finger in and starts laughing.
"What?" Madara says. Hashi cracks up, wheezing. "What, woman, what?"
"This goes on your penis!"
"What?" Madara says. Hashi takes her sheathed katana and slips the condom over the handle.
Madara's eyes widen and his face turns red. Hashi starts laughing again. "Look, there's a little bubble at the end that you catch your seed in-"
Madara grabs the katana from her and pulls off the condom, throwing it in the trash. Hashi giggles. She leans against his back and hugs him.
"Aw, why are you embarrassed?" she asks. Madara scowls. She squeezes him affectionately. "You wanted to know, right?" Madara glares, blushing. She brushes his hair back, smiling and pressing a kiss behind his ear.
"Ne," she says, smiling.
"Do you want to try it?"