Disclamer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling! I am copying the actual text of the story in my own, I do not wish to criticize the amazing work of Ms. Rowling, but I love the idea of characters reacting to their own stories. I do not own Harry Potter in any way!

Chapter 4

Dumbledore glanced over at Harry before starting. "Chapter Two: The Vanishing Glass"

"Are we going to hear some of little Harrykins accidental magic?" Fred and George said eagerly, sticking their tongues out at Harry.

Harry grinned at Ron and Hermione who grinned back. He had told them a small part of this story and they were excited to hear it. Harry just hoped that this book wouldn't go into detail about what happened after.

Nearly ten years ... different-colored bonnets –

At these words Fred and George burst out laughing and were rolling on the floor around them for a good few minutes, before they were able to control themselves enough for Dumbledore to continue.

but Dudley ... in the house, too.

"Why not, Harry?" Remus asked him quietly. But Harry did not answer. He was getting very nervous about where this was going.

Yet Harry Potter ... of the day.

Snape flinched again.

"Up! Get up! ... on the stove.

"Wow you must have really good hearing Harry! Wasn't your room upstairs?" Ron exclaimed.

He rolled onto ... dream before.

"Hate to break it to you Harry-" George started.

"But it wasn't a dream!" Put in Fred.

"It was a memory!" The twins whispered to Harry jokingly. They had already earned a cold stare from Umbridge after laughing for so long. They weren't exactly keen to get in more trouble with her. Harry looked down at Fred and George's hands and saw thin scars on the back of their hands.

His aunt ... on Duddy's birthday."

"They made you cook Harry?" Hermione's voice was a pitch higher than usual, but her voice was deadly calm.

"Not that often, really!" Harry lied.

Harry groaned. ... was used to spiders,

At the mention of spiders Ron shivered.

because the ... stairs was full of them,

"What does that cupboard have to do with anything? Wasn't it just where your stuff was?" Fred asked cautiously. He had noticed the small cot in the cupboard, but hadn't thought much about it until now.

and that ... he slept.

"WHAT!" Everyone around Harry's table of calming potion shouted.

Snape glanced at Harry in shock. But Mcgonagall was standing in front of Dumbledore shouting at him.

"I told you!" She yelled. "They are the worst sort of muggles. I told you they weren't going to be anything like us. And you knew Lily never got along with her sister!"

"I thought that Petunia would get over her differences with her sister after the worst. I thought she would put it away to take care of a child. I had my other reasons for putting him there too." Dumbledore whispered.

"Harry why didn't you tell us?" Hermione whispered to Harry. He had ducked his head so no one could see his face. He didn't want anyone to know about his life at the Dursleys.

"Yeah mate weren't you in a bedroom when we rescued you?" Ron asked him in a hushed voice.

"Rescued? Why did you need to rescue him?" Remus butt in. He had heard their conversation amidst the shouting of Mcgonagall and was trying to find out if Harry was okay. Sirius had now gotten up, and was trying to lick Harry's face but Harry was holding him off.

"Yeah we had to drive the flying car. There were bars on his windows, and the door was locked. Fred and George had to pick the lock. There was a cat flap on the door and there was a very limited amount of empty cans in the room."

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Remus was talking very quickly, in odd rasping breaths.

"Oh will you all calm down. I'm here right now. I'm alive and fine." Harry paused for a second, then muttered darkly, "For the most part. Anyways my closest encounters with death have been at Hogwarts not at the Dursleys." Harry finished almost brightly. Though this did not make Remus feel any better.

Instead Remus started panting even quicker still muttering, "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

Noticing Harry's irritation at Remus. Sirius padded over to Remus, and barked loudly in his face. To Harry's shock, Remus stopped muttering his chant and smiled down at Sirius, his hands half way to his ears.

"You are all worrying about nothing!" Umbridge said loudly, her nose in the air. "Dumbledore I demand you continue reading at once."

Dumbledore sighed and continued.

When he was ... involved punching somebody.

"And who would that be?" Ginny asked, glancing at Harry.

Dudley's favorite ... was Harry,

Both Remus and Sirius started snarling at this. Harry quickly jumped up and grabbed one of the calming draughts on the table, and forced Remus to take one. Sirius on the other hand, was a more difficult matter. So eventually he decided that giving Sirius physical comfort would have to suffice. Ron and Hermione shifted close to Harry and Sirius, who was calming down slightly as Harry was leaning into him. The words of Harry being his cousin's punching bag, had reminded them of the problem with reading these books. They really hoped that the books didn't start retelling a story of Harry getting into a fight with his cousin. They both suspected it wouldn't go well, for both Harry in the past and the present.

but he couldn't ... skinny for his age.

"Nah, just Potter genes!" Remus said, his voice steady. The calming draught had obviously done its work for now.

He looked even ... punched him on the nose.

All of a sudden Ron and Hermione felt a small flinch go through Harry's body. He had moved back towards them now, as it seemed that for a while, Remus and Sirius were subdued. Hermione let out a small gasp. Harry's face had scrunched up for a moment at the words. But one look at Harry told her not to say anything. His glare seemed to hold for only a moment before relaxing slightly.

The only thing ... like a bolt of lightning.

"Y-You liked it?" Ron stammered out. He looked at Harry questioningly. For as long as he knew Harry, the raven haired teen had never liked his scar. It seemed to gain more and more grumblings from Harry as the years went by.

Harry just shrugged at the comment. "I didn't know how I got it. I just thought it was cool to have a scar look so different."

He had had ... "And don't ask questions."

"C-Car crash?" Remus managed to cry out before the calming draught took over again and he settled himself before he fainted. Sirius looked livid. To Harry it looked like he might go and commit the murder he was accused of, and Sirius was still in dog form.

"Don't ask questions!" Hermione cried out. "How can you learn without asking questions?" She seemed deeply offended by Aunt Petunia's words.

"Not very well," Harry conceded. He had noticed the teachers unhappy murmerings at both comments and had ducked his head to look at the floor. He looked up tentatively at Hermione. He glanced up at Ron who looked as if he was trying to decide between being livid at the Dursleys, or annoyed that Hermione was thinking of learning.

"I can't believe someone would try and hide what happened to a child's parents," Neville said sadly.

"Well I know now," Harry said smiling softly at Neville.

Don't ask ... the Dursleys.

Hermione just sighed as this notion was announced.

Uncle Vernon entered ... -all over the place.

"Ah, the Potter hair. No way of defeating it." Remus chuckled warmly.

Harry was frying ... pig in a wig.

"Now Harry why haven't you told us before?" Fred asked with a smirk on his face.

"That you could ever be so funny?" George added smirking alongside his brother.

"You see, now we know you have potential," Fred added.

"Yes, and we could never pass up the chance to miss a potential prankster!" George finished off.

Ron and Hermione snickered, while Harry just looked at Fred and George with his eyebrows raised.

Harry put ... than last year."

At this, most of the adults in the room fell silent in shock. So that only Mrs. Weasley ended up muttering, "Spoiled brat!"

"And it said they didn't even buy clothes for Harry." Said Remus still somewhat dreamily but a look of anger flicked across his face.

"Darling, you haven't ... turned the table over.

"How often would he turn the table over?" Hermione asked Harry quietly.

"Often enough that I knew when to prepare for it." Harry said, smirking.

Hermione stuck her tongue out at Harry, who was grinning at her like the notion that his cousin could flip a table over quite regularly was a good joke.

The others in the hall stared at them. It was quite hard to imagine the golden trio acting like real kids. All they had ever heard about them was that they were prone to dangerous stunts. That and the fact they usually looked quite serious in the halls.

Aunt Petunia obviously ... thirty ... thirty..."

"He can't even add two?" Asked Mcgonagall contemptuously.

"I think he's still working on counting to ten," Harry shrugged.

"Thirty-nine, ... He ruffled Dudley's hair.

"That is horrendous parenting. You don't encourage that type of behavior!" Mrs. Weasley said disbelievingly.

At that moment ... in Harry's direction.

"He has a name you know!" Ron and Ginny said loudly. They both looked at each other, and Ron glared suspiciously at Ginny.

Dudley's mouth fell ... and Tufty again.

Sirius looked horrified at the thought. Harry couldn't decide if it was because of the amount of cats, or that their names were so awful. Before he could decide though he heard Ron snickering behind him and had to send him a glare.

"We could phone ... she hates the boy."

"Same feeling here," Harry said, raising his hand and nodding his head as if this was something to be proud of.

"Wasn't she the one that-" Ron started.

"Yes. But not now. I don't want to ruin everyone else's fun." Harry said, though he looked slightly worried.

The Dursleys often ... like a slug.

The people around Harry scowled darkly at this.

"What about ... leave him in the car..."

"That's sick!" Cried Hermione disgustedly. "You can't leave a child in the car for hours in the middle of the summer. They could get a heat stroke. You could die!"

People across the hall were starting to look worriedly at Harry. He sighed and motioned for Dumbledore to continue reading.

"That car's ... in it alone..."

"That's what they care about!" Hermione shrieked. Remus had started to rub his ears, and was sending a glare Hermione's way.

Dudley began to ... "Dinky Duddydums,

Fred and George burst out laughing again at the sound of the ridiculous nickname.

don't cry, ... the gap in his mother's arms.

Everyone scowled at the ridiculousness of this family.

Just then, the doorbell ... in his life.

"That's quite sad," Luna said quietly.

His aunt and ... until Christmas."

"He better not stick to that threat!" Remus growled the calming potion wearing off.

"If he stuck to that threat, I wouldn't have ended up at Hogwarts, so you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not going ... grown back so quickly.

"But that's accidental magic! Petunia should know about that. You can't punish a kid for something they can't control." Professor Sprout said vehemently.

Another time, ... wasn't punished.

"Good." Remus said nodding quickly.

On the other hand, ... in mid- jump.

"Harry, you apperated!" Hermione said shocked. "That is really powerful magic."

"Not really I think I just flew Hermione." Harry shrugged.

But Lily could fly too. Snape was struggling to stick to the fact that Harry was just like his father.

But today, ... favorite subjects.

"Ah, so you are very popular Harry!" Fred said happily.

This morning, ... "It was flying."

Harry felt a smack at the back of his head, and turned to glare at Hermione.

"That was so stupid of you. Why on Earth would you mention that?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know. I was ten." Harry said. Hermione just rolled her eyes.

Uncle Vernon nearly ... "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"

"That my friend is where you are wrong." Fred and George said together, as if this was a very wise and smart thing to say.

Dudley and Piers ... get dangerous ideas.

"Harry doesn't need help coming up with dangerous ideas." Ron said, snorting. Harry sent a look over to him, but couldn't help grinning.

Remus on the other hand looked worried. "Why exactly is that?"

"You don't really want to know. So we will kindly let you know when the book reads them!" Harry said laughingly. Remus just sent a glare over to him.

It was a very ... it wasn't blond.

"That's not very nice. You should apologize to the gorilla Harry," Luna chastised in her dream like voice.

Harry couldn't exactly find something to say to that so he just agreed with her.

Harry had the best morning ... it was fast asleep.

Harry suddenly realized that Remus and Sirius didn't know he was a parselmouth. He glanced at them and hoped that they didn't take it badly.

Dudley stood with ... visit the rest of the house.

"You shouldn't have to compare yourself to an animal," Remus said sadly. Then he looked down at Sirius and started laughing. In the hall most of them thought he was losing it. Then Harry started laughing too, seeing where Remus's eyes had gone. This in itself seemed to prove to Umbridge that Harry was crazy and she smirked.

The snake suddenly... It winked.

"But snakes can't wink Harry?" Hermione said looking at him questioningly.

"I don't know, but the snake winked?" Harry said.

Harry stared. ... and winked, too.

"Of course you would!" Ron said groaning.

The snake jerked ... The snake nodded vigorously.

"Harry," Remus said slowly, "Were you talking with this snake, and it was able to understand you?"

Harry looked at him for a moment and then nodded.

"Y-your a Parselmouth then?" Remus stammered.

Harry nodded again. A few people in the hall were looking at the scene in great interest. Many of the younger years hadn't known this fact. And Umbridge seemed quite gleeful.

"That's the mark of a dark wizard." She said happily, though she was sneering at Harry.

"It is not a mark of a dark wizard. It seems though, that people with this gift have followed the wrong path. That however, does not mean everyone does." Dumbledore said calmly. Umbridge glared at him, and Harry gave a small smile. Dumbledore continued on.

"Where do you ... been to Brazil?"

"Harry why on Earth would the topic of a discussion with a snake, be about Brazil?" Ginny said laughing.

"I don't know. It just came up?" Harry was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

As the snake ... the concrete floor.

Harry cringed. His ribs were now aching. Harry tried to straighten his face quickly, but Ron and Hermione noticed. They frowned at Harry. But he gave a small shake of his head. They guessed that if Harry wanted anyone to know they would know, but for now they would stick as close by him as they could.

What came next ... weren't you, Harry?"

There was a collective groan that spread throughout the hall. "He just had to mention that!" Ron muttered angrily.

Uncle Vernon waited ... kitchen for some food.

"You shouldn't have to sneak around their house to get food." Remus muttered crossly.

He'd lived with the Dursleys ... burning pain on his forehead.

"You shouldn't be able to remember that much at all," Remus said sadly. Harry decided not to mention he could remember more now.

This, he supposed, ... a closer look.

"Well of course they apperated." Hermione said.

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" Harry snapped. "Sorry Hermione, just frustrated." He sent a glare in Umbridge's direction.

"Don't worry about it." Hermione said calmly. She and Ron had dealt with more than just a few snippy words when friends with Harry. They knew he always felt bad about it later, so they tried to show how much they appreciated having him as a friend.

At school, ... with Dudley's gang.

"That's the end of the chapter," Dumbledore said sadly.

"Well then I believe it is Minerva's turn to read next," Umbridge said sweetly, though she was furious they hadn't found something they could use against Potter.