Disclamer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling! I am copying the actual text of the story in my own, I do not wish to criticize the amazing work of Ms. Rowling, but I love the idea of characters reacting to their own stories. I do not own Harry Potter in any way!

Chapter 6

Chapter Four: The Keeper of the Keys

Harry watched Hagrid' blush at the title of the chapter.

BOOM. ... he said stupidly.

"Idiot!" Ron muttered.

There was a crash ... had brought with them.

"Harry did he shoot the rifle while you were in range? That is very dangerous to have in a house. Let alone a flimsy shack with children in it!" Hermione gasped.

"What's so bad about a rifle?" asked Ron.

"It's like a mix between the cruciatus curse and the killing curse." Hermione explained. "It can do real damage, and kill people. It is also illegal to have one without a license."

"Hermione, nothing happened. Now stop talking before my fingers fall off!" Harry managed through gritted teeth.

Hermoine looked at Harry apologetically.

"Who's there?" ... SMASH!

"The dragon's breaking down the door. I told you, that you should have let him in Harry." Seamus said worriedly.

"If I remember correctly I really don't think it was a dragon." Harry said, trying to grin.

The door was ... was standing in the doorway.

"Oh so it wasn't a dragon," a couple of the students said sadly.

"Since when was it a dragon or any type of monster?" Harry asked bewildered again.

His face was ... under all the hair.

"It's Hagrid!" Most of the Gryffndor's shouted, as well as a few students from other houses. It was always obvious that Gryffndor had the best relationship with the current gamekeeper of Hogwarts.

"You know Harry," Hermione said to the still shivering figure, "You describe Hagrid as if he was dangerous," Hermioen finished cheekily.

"Well how would you feel if Hagrid came knocking down your door when you had just turned eleven?" Harry asked, glaring.

"Well-" Hermone stuttered, but she never did finish her sentence.

"See?" Harry teased.

The giant squeezed ... an easy journey..."

"Only Hagrid could ask for a cup of tea, after knocking someone's door down," Ron laughed.

He strode over ... lump," said the stranger.

"Good job Hagrid!" Yelled the twins.

Dudley squeaked ... yeh've got yet mom's eyes."

"It was nice back then," Harry paused, "But you people need a new thing to say. I've heard that sentence so many times!"

Uncle Vernon made ... yeh great prune,"

"Hey wonder if Hagrid will help us come up with some new insults?" Fred asked George under his breath.

said the giant; ... in green icing.

"That was nice of Hagrid!" Luna said dreamily, smiling from her spot in between Neville and Ginny.

Harry looked up ... "Who are you?"

"Manners Harry!" Mrs. Weasley scolded.

"It did say I meant to say thank you, you know?" Harry argued.

The giant chuckled. ... yeh've got it, mind."

"You don't drink in front of children! Honestly, he really needs to work on that!" Mcgonagall commented.

His eyes fell ... sunk into a hot bath.

"He used magic!" Umbridge screeched. "He's not allowed! He was expelled!"

"Well you can't do anything until later," Harry started, for once thankful that Voldemort had sent him the memory of himself framing Hagrid, "I also believe when we are finished you might find evidence that Hagrid was wrongfully expelled." Harry stated firmly. He was very grateful that the fire had started, and his body released some tension in relief.

Madam Bones had raised an eyebrow at this and stayed silent. I have a feeling we are going to uncover a large amount of surprises along the way. I really hope the ministry hasn't done an overly large amount of things wrong. Though it might be for the better if we can get some information on Dolores. I never liked her that much anyway. She did realize that as a Hufflepuff she should stay loyal to the ministry but she knew that everyone could make mistakes. And some mistakes can be a lot harder to forgive than others.

The giant sat back ... that he took a swig from

"Honestly I shouldn't even try!" Mcgonagall sighed.

"I wonder how many pockets Hagrid's coat has?" Ginny questioned aloud.

"I'm not really sure? A lot?" Harry remarked

before starting to ... Dursley, don' worry."

The twins continued whispering at that, and they called their friend Lee over to the table to continue the conversation. Remus was looking curiously over at them with a smirk on his face. Harry guessed he was remembering his own Marauder days.

He passed the sausages ... Hogwarts, o' course."

"Nope!" Harry called out cheerfully.

Some of the purebloods turned around to give him odd looks.

"Er - no," ... do math and stuff."

Harry looked down embarrassed.

But Hagrid simply ... sounded like "Mimblewimble."

"Odd that's the incantation for the tongue tying curse," Hermione reflected.

Hagrid stared wildly ... famous, were they?"

"You just learned your famous, and you and about your mom and dad being famous?" Hermione laughed.

"It didn't really sink in okay! I was trying to learn about my mom and dad!" Harry pouted.

"Yeh don' know ... the boy anything!"

Snorts ran through the hall at these words.

A braver man ... "Harry - yer a wizard."

"Well that was blunt!" Snorted Ron.

There was silence ... await my owl?"

"You could have asked anything, and you asked about the owl post," Hermione muttered to Harry, shaking her head.

"Hey it was due that day!" Harry whined, though you could see his grinning face.

"Gallopin' Gorgons, ... ruffled-looking owl

"He kept an owl in his pocket?" Luna demanded, suddenly sounding rather haughty. When she got no answer back but a nod from Harry, she huffed and turned back to face the book.

- a long quill, ... could read upside down:

"You read it upside down?" Ron stuttered, shocked. He still had quite a few problems reading Hagrid's scrawl right side up.

We should pay Potter to be a translator! Snape thought scornfully, a scowl dancing on his lips.

Dear Professor Dumbledore, ... it out of him! Wizard indeed!"

Snarls could be heard coming from around Harry.

"You knew?" ... to say all this for years.

She probably had, Snape thought bitterly. He was surprised when his own thoughts were echoed by Remus muttering under his breath.

"Then she met ... got landed with you!"

"That's how you found out?" Hermione whispered frantically to Harry, who just tilted his head slightly. "That's awful!" Hermone cried under her breath.

Harry had gone ... world knows his name!"

Harry scowled at the implications.

"But why? ... Hogwarts not knowin'."

"Yeah Harry!" Ron laughed, "What if you came to Hogwarts, and you thought people were staring at you for absolutely no reason?"

"There is no reason to stare at me, and everyone who does is completely mental!" Harry argued quietly to Ron.

He threw a dirty... no words came out.

"You're not going to get him to say it!" Fred called out.

"Yeah we've been trying for seven years!" George added. They both frowned, and then gasped in astonishment as they saw Harry smirk.

"Could you write ... All right - Voldemort. "

"Oh"

"My"

Gosh!" The twins gasped.

"What's next you find out why he was expelled?" George asked ludicrously. When he saw that Harry's expression didn't change he looked like he was about to faint.

"You didn't!" Fred gasped, looking a lot like George was in that moment.

"That's for you to find out, and for us to know!" Harry smirked pointing to himself, Ron and Hermione. Hermoine giggled into her hands, while Ron just stuck his tongue out at Fred and George. This time Fred and George really did faint, and had to have Lee come and wake them up. Remus and Sirius (Snuffles) just looked at them in shock. Harry guessed they had been up to the same antics as Fred and George in their time at school.

Hagrid shuddered. ... at Hogwarts in their day!

Everyone who had known Harry's parents at school nodded their heads.

Suppose the myst'ry ... yer house an' - an' -"

Harry started chewing on his lip absentmindedly.

Hagrid suddenly pulled ... touches yeh

Harry grimaced as he realized how true it was. He was thankful that when time stopped, Voldemort hadn't been having one of his temper tantrums. He didn't want a continuous prickle in his scar, even though he knew he would have to live through some of the worst of it again.

- took care of ... - the McKinnons, the Bones,

Susan started sobbing into her aunt's shoulder who had moved tables to sit with her niece, while Madame Bones grimaced and looked at the ground sadly.

the Prewetts

Now it was Mrs. Weasley's turn to start sobbing, as she cried into her husband's shoulder, remembering her twin brothers. The rest of the Weasley family took Madame Bones' path, but the twins seemed to look sad as they thought of what it would have been like to remember the other twins in the family, and Bill and Charlie looked at their mother sadly, as they remembered some of their uncles.

- an' you was only ... cold, cruel laugh.

Some of the teachers looked at Harry, horror filled expressions on their faces. Harry just grimaced as he noticed the teachers reactions. If they act like this now, what happens when we get to the dementors?

Hagrid was watching ... Dursleys were there.

"Us too!" Pronounced the twins faking happiness at the reminder he was still there.

Uncle Vernon certainly ... come to a sticky end -"

Some of the school was looking shocked and horrified that someone would say that to someone who had lost their parents, while Harry worked on calming Remus and Sirius, both who had emitted loud canine growls (though that is unavoidable in Sirius's case.)

But at that moment, ... "Some say he died.

"He did! He is dead!" Shouted Umbridge and Fudge angrily.

Codswallop, in my ... in him to die.

Dumbledore grimaced at the words, and sent an odd glance at Hagrid, though no one noticed as they all seemed to be caught up in the story.

Some say he's ... but lost his powers.

"He's NOT!" Screamed Umbridge shaking her stubby hands in the air.

Too weak to carry ... around like a football?

A few snickers ran across the hall, as Malfoy shouted scornfully across the hall "It doesn't work like that Potter!"

"I know that now Malfoy! But you seemed to have forgotten the first couple chapters. I wasn't raised in the magical world." Harry stated the last sentence clearly as if speaking to a 3 year old.

Malfoy shot him a glare, as the snickers grew slightly louder, and turned back to Flitwick.

"Hagrid," he said quietly ... boa constrictor on him?

The laughter rang across the hall again, as they remembered that event being read.

Harry looked back ... famous at Hogwarts."

Harry groaned and shook his head slightly.

Snape looked at him oddly before shaking his head, No Potter is as arrogant as his father, and loves his fame? Right?

But Uncle Vernon wasn't ... MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.

Some of the students shook their heads, and some of the more excitable Gryffindors stood up from their cushions, and started jumping up and down. You should never insult Dumbledore in front of Hagrid.

But he had finally gone ... hole in his trousers.

"He used magic against muggles! Aurors seize him!" Umbridge shouted pointing at Tonks and Kingsley and then to Hagrid.

"Dolores," Kingsley started calmly, "We aren't able to do anything until after the books are finished. Even then this was four years ago. And even still Potter said that there was evidence that Hagrid shouldn't have been expelled at all."

Umbridge snarled at him, but gave it up as there was no movement to help her case.

Uncle Vernon roared. ... much left ter do."

Most of the hall heard snickers from the table with Harry and his friends. As some glanced over, they saw the twins trying to cover their faces as their mother looked on disapprovingly.

He cast a sideways ... were you expelled?"

All of the pranksters looked at the trio with awe in their eyes as they noticed the smirks being covered up, on their faces.

"It's gettin' late ... in one o' the pockets."

As if as one, Luna, Ginny, and Hermione, turned to Hagrid and asked, "Why on earth would you have mice in your pockets?"

"To feed my animals," Hagrid told them, shrugging. From the look in his eyes he didn't know why that was a question.

If anyone turned to look at Umbridge in that moment though, they would have seen her having a visibility mental rant, about half breeds, and pureblood supremacy.