i.

I loved watching her move. She wasn't a fighter and I told her plenty of times much to her chagrin, but I was always taken aback seeing her in battle.

She jumped and swayed and floated through spell after spell, swinging her rod over her head and under, striking her mark with so much grace and precision, you could hardly call it a "fight". It always felt more like a well-choreographed dance routine. And I told her as much.

"You keep getting hurt because you prance about your enemy, a fight isn't supposed to be…." I tried to find the right words, "pretty. All that extra flourish is gonna get you killed one of these days."

She puffed her cheeks out at the remark. "I'm not doing it on purpose, that's just how conjuring magic works Cloud."

"Well, you don't see Barret and Tifa taking so much time casting spells. We got to work on your timing, and if there's time, I want Tifa to teach you how to dodge attacks more effectively."

"What's wrong with the way I dodge?" she said, a small smile on her lips.

"Nothing, it's just not effective….it's not a joke out there Aerith!" I felt indignant as she gave me one of her signature hearty laughs.

"I know but like I've said before, I can take care of myself! Even if…" and here she held out a finger, jabbing it into my chest, "I get a bruise here and there."

I sighed but there was never any use arguing with her. She loved having the last word, which I gladly gave her since I never seemed to be able to escape unscathed otherwise.

I spoke to Tifa later that night but she gave me a similar response,

"Aerith can take care of herself, Cloud. You worry too much. And besides, I don't think there is much I can teach her in such a short time." Tifa shrugged, passing me a large canteen filled with water. We were sitting around a campfire, one of many we put up throughout our travels, eating the provisions we had brought along for our journey. I eyed Aerith, sitting opposite of us, nodding off near Red XIII. Her arm was around the large beast and her chest was rising up and down in the soft rhythm of sleep.

"If you're really worried, I wouldn't have her out on the field so much."

I looked back towards Tifa but her face was unreadable.

"What do you mean?" My eyes wandered back to their previous position.

"I mean, you always have her on the team. You say you're worried about her safety but you still have her out scouting with us. I mean she's a capable fighter but…." she trailed off as she placed another scrap of wood into the fire. The flames bristled and flared, settling down once more into a modest glow.

"I feel better with her close by. That way I can keep an eye on her."

"Well then, no need to worry so much." came her reply.

Although I wasn't sure at the time what Tifa was getting at, I had a suspicion that my attempts at keeping Aerith close were raising questions amongst the group. Yes, part of me wanted to keep Aerith close as a way of keeping her out of harm's way but I also knew how obvious it was, my desperation. How I needed her near me at all times. Even if she'd volunteer to sit out, I'd find a way of making her come anyways. Tifa and Barett took turns coming out but I'd hardly given Aerith time to rest.

The following morning as we packed our belongings I addressed the team as I usually did before we set out.

"Alright. Today is going to be a little different. I know that I usually lead the scouting groups but this time around I want Tifa to lead instead." Tifa had a look of surprise on her face but nodded, seemingly pleased with the news.

"It's about time you let me lead a run," she said with a grin, fastening her gloves tighter around her wrists.

"With Tifa leading" I continued, bracing myself for their response, "Barett and Red will act as support. You three will clear the vicinity for monsters and Aerith and I will stay behind"

As I thought, everyone met my eyes with a look of surprise.

"You mean you're not coming with us?" Red XIII, whose eyes seemed to glow for a split second.

"That's right. I'm going to take today to train Aerith."

"Train me? Excuse me but, I didn't get the memo Cloud." I turned to look at Aerith who stared straight through me like a lightning bolt. I maintained my ground. I had anticipated the challenge.

"Yes. Train you. I talked to you about it yesterday. I won't hear another word about it so just..um...meet me after you're done getting ready for the day." I saw her cross her arms and shake her head but surprisingly, she went back into her tent without another word.

When everyone had left for the day, I sat waiting for Aerith at the edge of where our camp had been for the night. It was a grassy plain and the sun was already shining overhead in full force. Aerith came out shortly after, sitting beside quietly. I wouldn't have noticed her coming towards me if not for the fact that I had already trained myself to listen to the sound of her moving. We were quiet for a while but she broke the silence with a laugh.

"So, what's this really about? Just felt like spending some time with me?"

"I think you need to practice a little more. You know...fighting" I said, trying to remain unfazed.

"This again? I told you, I'm fine. I'll have you know I've had a little training."

"Oh? From who"

Another laugh. "Reno and Rude. I think they thought the same as you. People take one look at me and think that I'm completely defenseless. So they gave me a few lessons over the years. With the staff. Reno thought I should learn how to shoot a gun but staffs are better...for magic. Which apparently I don't do well either."

"I never said that…."

She scrunched up her face and looked away, "I'm tougher than I look." She said quickly, defiantly but in a manner that was also gentle, as if she wanted to reassure me somehow.

"You are," I said after a moment, "But that doesn't mean it would hurt to practice with me a bit... Or with Tifa, or Barret" I added when she burst out laughing again. I'd never since met a person who laughed as much as she did.

"So am I supposed to believe you didn't come up with this just to be alone with me?" She said as she reclined on the grass looking over to me with an invitingly. I felt foolishly small as I ignored her comments and stood up.

"Oh you're no fun!" she said as she stood up as well, dusting her dress off with her hands and grabbing her staff.

I faced her as I brought out my sword and held it in front of me. Our eyes connected and I felt the delicious rush of meeting her gaze without having to look away. She brought her staff forward with both hands, holding it vertically as she adjusted her body into her own personal fighting stance- feet slightly apart, back erect, shoulders back.

"Are you ready?"

"Sure"

"I want you to come at me and try to hit me on the back."

"Should be easy"

"We'll see," I replied. She smiled as she rushed towards me in one swift motion, bringing down her staff from as high as she could lift, grunting as I moved out of her way and hit her slightly on the small of her back with the hilt of my sword.

She looked back towards me and this time I gave her a small smile as I repositioned myself in the stance I had taken before.

She spun to the left, bringing her staff over her head and down towards my shoulder, and not only did I move out of the way, but I also grabbed her staff lengthwise and gave a strong push. She fell to the ground on her knees and hands outstretched but quickly jumped to her feet in one swift motion.

"Okay that's it!" she yelled. She grabbed her staff and began circling me, eyes narrowed. I turned alongside her, following her movements closely and meeting her eyes, her look was determined and focused. Finally, she broke her circling and lunged towards me, head-on. I dodged easily enough but for a split second, I lost sight of her as she crouched towards my legs, bringing me down to my knees with a quick swipe of her staff. She tapped my back before I was able to bring myself back to my feet. Aerith laughed behind me.

"Gotcha!" she said, sounding smug as she crossed her arms.

"Took you a good three tries though."

"I was just warming up."

"I'm sure you were" I never underestimated Aerith, on the contrary, I felt she was the strongest and most capable of anyone in the team. But I also thought she was the most distracted and impulsive and it drove me crazy.

"You can attack well enough but all the times I countered you you weren't able to block me. I want to work on that a bit, yeah" She looked thoughtful for a moment and then slumped her shoulders in mock defeat, "I guess you have a point. Okay Cloud, show me some moves."

I placed my sword down and I walked towards her, suddenly nervous at having her undivided attention. I focused on the small point at the corner of her mouth.

"When someone moves in to attack you, you have to anticipate their movements before they can strike that's the hardest part I think. There are a couple of ways you can tell though. You can follow their gaze…" here I gave an obvious glance at her shoulder then threw a slow punch at her, which she blocked well with the back of her hand.

"Yeah good. Although it's more subtle in battle, it's a quick flicker of the eyes like…" I looked over at her stomach and repeated my motions, this time faster. She missed the counter, and my hand hovered over her stomach and she flinched in anticipation.

"You just have to improve your timing. You've got good intuition, but you're not quick enough."

"Ok," she said, "I think I see what you mean." She stepped back "Go at me again" Aerith widened her stance, eyes locking on mine, brow furrowed in concentration.

Without hesitation I ran towards her, aiming to grab her arm and pull her towards the ground but this time she stepped out of my reach, jumping lightly and gracefully to the right. I pulled at the helm of her jacket but she brought her staff to block me immediately, dashing to the right and putting distance between us. I tried to push down a smile as she looked at me teasingly, her eyes glistening with amusement.

I stood up straighter and surveyed my surroundings. She kept her green eyes on me as she started circling around me, staff held tightly in her grip. I'd have to get behind her but how?

"You're doing good Aerith. You're learning quickly."

"Is that so?" She was on edge but at my words, she eased her stance a bit swinging her staff around in triumph.

"But remember don't get distracted" and quickly I came at her, running as fast as I could towards her feet. Aerith gasped as she hurriedly tried to move out of the way but she wasn't quick enough as I toppled her over bringing her down hard on the grass as I rolled up to my feet and looked down towards her shocked face.

"CLOUD, did you just tackle me? That's not fair" Aerith said and she looked up at me with a pout forming on her lips. I finally let my smile peek through as I shrugged my arms and said "That's another lesson for you. Anything goes when you're out on the battle."

"Anything goes huh?" and suddenly the ground was swept beneath me and Aerith gave my legs a hard kick with the sole of her brown boots. I toppled next to her hard, trying to roll over quickly but soon she was on top of me pinning me down with both her hands to the side of my face. I held my breath and I met her eyes and saw her lips form a smile.

My mind went blank. All I could feel were strands of her hair falling gently on my face.

"How's that for fair?" She said, bringing her face closer to mine. Could she tell by the look on my face that I was utterly defenseless? It took all my strength not to pull her body completely against mine, to not move my hands down to exposed areas of legs, to make sure I didn't make a fool of myself. She seemed expectant and for a moment I noticed her eyes shift towards my lips but soon were drawn back to my eyes. I couldn't tell if I had imagined it. Unwillingly my own eyes followed down her face to her own lips, the soft curvature of them enticing me with their shape, their color, and fullness. She parted them slightly and suddenly I felt like I couldn't breathe. Quickly, I placed a hand on the blade of her shoulder gently, trying not to let the sudden deliberate touch of my palm on her body overcome my better sense, and pushed her gently away as I sat up. She moved away from me, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips drawn in a tight line. I stood up to my feet as casually as I could but I realized my arms were shaking and I tried to avoid making eye contact.

"So are we done for today?" She said, simply with no discernable edge to her voice. However, the lilting quality in her voice was gone.

"Yeah," I said, losing my resolve. There was more I wanted to show her but any reserves of self-restraint I had prepared for being with her today were gone. I couldn't see how I could stop myself if she got that close to me again. I cleared my throat and looked towards her, hoping she wouldn't notice how foolish I felt, hoping she didn't see the fear in my eyes, "You should rest up, once the group is back we're all hiking for the next hour or so until we can reach another camping place. It'll be a long day."

Aerith opened her mouth to say something and for a moment I could see hurt creep onto her face but I could have missed it entirely because she had a smile on her face the next second.

"Hope those Soldier 1st class moves you taught me come in handy then!" She gave me a hearty laugh as she spun around on her boots and ran up to the hill and out of sight.

I watched her go with a pain growing in my chest and I looked down at my own feet with resignation. I didn't know how to be around her and it drove me insane. I wanted her to think I was cool and competent. I wanted her to rely on me. I wanted her to need me. I didn't know why I felt so strongly about it, why it meant so much to me for her to feel like she could depend on me for anything and everything she needed. I knew there was something inside me that needed that validation, I had felt that need with Tifa and even with Barett and those that I'd worked for as a mercenary but with Aerith that feeling doubled in its intensity. If anything were to happen to her, I didn't know what I'd do.