Sometime at night, she came to my tent. Aerith came quietly and for a moment I thought I was dreaming. But no dream was ever as vivid as that night, the air moist and heavy around us filled with the smell of lavender from her skin. She sat at the opening of my tent and I dared not move in case I startled her. I sat up and waited for her to speak.

"I can't sleep," She finally said. Her tone was light and careful. Her face peered inside and even in the darkness, I could see her smile. I moved towards her hesitantly, crawling over my sleeping pad and over to her. The air was crisp that night and sweet. I could taste it in each breath I took. My eyes wandered over to the base of her neck and I tried to think of what to say.

"Bad dreams?" I eventually said lamely.

Aerith shook her head. "No, not exactly, I just…."

Although she was still smiling, I noticed her eyes looked distant. She was looking somewhere far over the hills. The moon was high in the sky and its light illuminated the surrounding camp. We had 3 tents. Tifa and Aerith shared one, and Barret and I slept in one of our own. Red would sleep near the embers of the dying campfire we'd light every night, preferring to sleep outside in the cool air. I could barely make him out when I looked his way.

I followed her gaze but noticed nothing,

"I keep thinking about what you said the other day." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Hm?"

"How I fight. How it'll get me killed to dance around as I do."
I flushed at her words or rather mine. They sounded so harsh when she said them like that.

"I was just worried about you."

"You? worried about me?" She raised an eyebrow and jutted her chin out towards me playfully.

"Of course," I said the words without thinking and felt my heartbeat quickly as I noticed her cheeks redden. She seemed caught off guard, a state I was not used to seeing her in.

"Oh… well. I'm sorry about that."

"I…." I noticed her hand resting near mine and I thought for a moment of reaching out to hold it.

"Thank you for worrying about me. I just don't want you to feel like you're responsible for me. I've been on my own for most of my life, and even so, I feel like everyone is constantly watching over me. Everything I do, everyone I talk to...I'm tired of always having a set of eyes watching me."

"Aerith…"

"I mean I know why you went down to the market. It was to keep an eye on me. You wouldn't have gone otherwise...admit it." She had her brow furrowed in frustration, her lips were drawn in a rare frown.

"That's not…." but I couldn't finish my sentence. I pulled my knees to my stomach and averted her gaze, knowing if I spoke I would undoubtedly tell her the truth. That I would surely die if I let anything happen to her.

"You're doing the face."

"What face?"

"This one." When I finally looked at her she had a sullen and somber look on her face. I'd never seen her look so serious.

"I don't make that face"

"Oh yes you do..see you're doing it right now!" I sighed with feigned annoyance but I could sense the tension in my forehead and jaw. I tried to smooth my features but felt resistance. I felt so tense around her. Aerith was gazing at me intently, though I tried to look away, she carefully and slowly placed a hand on my forehead. I immediately froze. We locked eyes and I involuntarily gasped as she ran her fingers down my cheek towards my jaw, an attempt at smoothing away the hard lines etched on my face. She was looking at me curiously, her eyes tracing every feature on my face. I stood still, almost statue-like and she ran her fingers up again to my forehead, down again to my cheek, then to my jaw. Surprisingly, instead of tensing up, I felt my muscles relax and I allowed my senses to follow the trajectory of her fingertips. Without even realizing it, my eyes had closed. She stopped then, taking her hand away from my face and I immediately began aching for her touch once more. My eyes shot open and my hand had involuntarily reached to where her touch lingered. Her hand was away from my face but I had hoped I could catch it and keep it there. I wonder if she picked up on the desperation of it all.

"Do you…" her words were slow and heavy and I noticed how flushed her face was then. "Do you like it when I touch you?"

I felt intoxicated by her words, I could barely speak. She was always so bold. She said words I could never say, no matter how much I longed to say them.

I remained silent, heart beating fast and hard and she only gave me a small smile.

"I'm sorry. I like messing with you, is it obvious?"

"A little bit yeah," I said, finally meeting her eye. Trying to compose myself I turned my body towards her and said, "I think I understand how you feel though. Aerith, I didn't mean to make you feel weak, or like you can't look after yourself."

"Or like you don't trust me?" she offered.

"I do trust you." I stammered out.

"I also keep thinking about how exhausting it must be to try and look after me all the time. If only I were stronger, like you or Tifa…"

"Aerith, you are strong. I've seen you out there... you're fit to be a SOLDIER if you ask me."

That made her laugh and she gently nudged my elbow.

"Then why do you hang around me all the time?" It was an innocent question but I could see that sly rise in her voice, the subtle flirtation that came so easy to her.

"Well… while I do think you're more than capable of taking care of yourself…." I was choosing my words carefully "I… I'm your bodyguard and I want to bring you home safe."

I felt I had run a marathon saying those words but I could tell that Aerith wasn't offended or hurt. She gently took my hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze.

"Ah yes. My bodyguard." She looked a bit sad and then slowly she placed her hand on my cheek again. This time it didn't catch me off guard. I tried to ease my body into her touch and willed myself not to move away. She was always so gentle, every moment with her was always filled with infinite tenderness. I pushed all my defenses down, tried to bring down all the walls I always placed between us. I wasn't sure if she could tell how hard I was trying to open up to her for fear that she would stop. As her hand fell from my face to my chin and then slowly, hesitantly to my neck I almost said it aloud, the words achingly heavy in my throat, "Don't stop."

But I didn't. I just kept my eyes locked on hers, looking deep into the green of her eyes as her fingertips landed on my collarbone. Soft and careful. I could see her swallowing gently. My skin was burning and I dared not speak for fear that she would retreat. I didn't know what I wanted to happen and whether she'd have liked for me to reach out as well. Summoning my failing courage I reached out towards her own neck and gently placed my fingers at it's base, unsure what direction I should go next. Her eyes closed then and suddenly my breath was heavy. I moved closer to her, placing my palm on her chest and she carefully brought her palms to my shoulders. Her body pressed against mine and she sighed and my mind went blank. I brought her in for an embrace and I felt her body tense up for a split second before wrapping her arms fully around my neck, fingers intertwining in my hair. We had never been this close. My arms clung to her desperately as she buried my face in the crook of her neck, her legs wrapping around my waist. Instantly my hands went to her thighs, my fingers clutching at the fabric there, trying to find skin. I breathed in her scent heavily, my head dizzy and my limbs shaking with a million emotions. In my mind, there was doubt in what direction this was going.

I quickly moved to pull her into the tent but again she tensed up, suddenly looking straight at me, her face surprised as if she had suddenly realized something.

"I'm sorry. I…" Always so sure with her words, I saw her suddenly stumble over them

"I'm not sure why...I…" She pulled away and, I instantly felt very cold. I felt thrown out of sorts, unsure of what had just happened, -

"No… No...I'm sorry… I just… I just assumed… I should have asked. I thought you wanted…" my words were coming out too fast and too jumbled. I felt deeply embarrassed and deeply awkward.

Idiot! I thought to myself over and over.

"No, no. I did… I did want to" She was breathing fast and she placed her face in her hands apologetically.
"Oh, I don't want you to think this is what I had in mind coming here."

"I didn't think that no. I mean sometimes I'm confused, you know. You...you flirt with me all the time. I just thought…" I felt incredibly foolish then at my presumption, and an incredible feeling came over to go into my tent and hide but she caught my arm, sensing my anxious thoughts. She shook her head and I saw her bite her lip.

"I know. And I'm sorry. I don't mean to string you along but I can't… we can't…" she moved farther away from me with each word and I ached to bring her back, if only closer so I could feel the warmth of her nearby in that cold night. I wanted to ask her why, to get angry, to become frustrated, to feel hurt but I only felt stunned- like a young boy all over again, falling onto the ground and scraping their knees on the road.

She went away then, leaving me on my own again. I was cold so I went back inside my tent and tried to forget those few moments where her body had pressed against mine, but somehow the sensation still lingered, as if it were sketched onto my skin like a burn. Though otherwise, she had left nothing of herself that night, so who's to say it hadn't been a dream after all?