So, this fic is sort of a spiritual sequel to Do You Think There's a Heaven? By Cloudywithachanceofcheese. I would highly recommend you go read that one first because 1) it'll make this one make more sense and 2) it's really good. Who doesn't love mice having an existential crisis? If you're reading this I sure hope you do!
"Will everything die before us?"
Brain groaned. Would Pinky ever tire of this? The questions were both sporadic and ceaseless, always popping up at inconvenient or downright random times, but with an undeniable inevitability, like water flowing downstream. A constant drip of immortal dread. How irritating.
"What about all the trees? And bugs? And rocks?"
"Bugs will typically have an exceptionally short life span. The bugs you saw last week may be dead by now," Brain murmured, pulling his blanket up around him in a futile hope that he would get back to sleep that night, "And rocks aren't alive."
"And the trees, Brain?"
"Trees can survive a very long time without interference. The oldest tree in the world is over five thousand years old."
"But will we outlive them?"
Brain paused. That drip was becoming more of a trickle. He could forget falling back asleep any time soon. With a sigh, he rolled over to face his companion.
"I don't know, Pinky."
"Forever is longer than five thousand years," Pinky's eyes were wide with wonder.
"Your sudden grasp of mathematics is encouraging, but I fear my enthusiasm is dampened by your abandonment of a natural circadian rhythm."
Pinky blinked, "What's that, Brain?"
"What I mean to say is, you should be asleep."
"Oh." The taller mouse averted his gaze, expression settling into a pout, but his discouragement was as short lived as ever. "But Brain, how can I sleep if I don't know if we'll live longer than trees? Narf!" His odd verbal tic accentuated the urgency of the situation in a way Brain would never be able to describe to someone who hadn't spent nearly their whole life listening to Pinky.
"You can't know, Pinky. Don't you see?" He clearly didn't, "There is no certainty in our future. If indeed we are truly immortal, then we will be alive longer than our minds can comprehend. But I am not without skepticism. It may be that our bodies simply cannot last that long. Everything has to break down eventually."
"And if we don't? If we keep going and going like the energizer bunny?" He drummed his finger against the bed, Tap tap tap. Tap, tap, tap.
"Then in that scenario, yes, we would have to outlive even trees."
"Poit."
Brain watched as the other's ears drooped. He couldn't help feeling like the bearer of bad news. He shook his head and rolled onto his back, gazing absently at the cage bars above, which he could just barely make out in the dark. What was he supposed to say? He had no control over their fates. If reality was cruel to them, well….well what else was new?
"That leaves us with nothing, doesn't it?"
Brain stared above. He had nothing to say.
"It's only you and me."
"Yes...always," Brain breathed, shakily. The bars of the cage felt as though they were pulling in. Drip, drip drip. He was somewhere upstream, sound of the current rushing in his ears, but it wasn't. It was only the shuffling of blankets next to him as his vision was blocked out by white. A warm weight was on top of him, followed by lips pressed rather roughly against his. His mind whirled. He brought his hands up, surely with the intention of pushing the other away, but never quite followed through with that goal. Instead he found his fingers kneading into the other's back (oh, had he never realized how muscular his back was? He did now), and a certain determination to win whatever battle for dominance their tongues had found themselves in. The deep moan that escaped him made him consider that perhaps he had not won.
He gasped for breath when their lips parted. But Pinky was already nipping his his neck, his chest, this stomach. As the oxygen return to his brain, so did some semblance of reasoning. How had he found himself here? This wasn't right. Something was definitely not right. He reached out and cupped his companion's face, lifting his head up.
"Pinky."
They locked eyes. In the moonlight, Pinky's eyes were the color of summer sky, shocking blue cutting through the darkness. An ethereal sort of beauty accentuated his piercing gaze. Like mismatched puzzle pieces all dumped on a table from different boxes, he couldn't quite make the scene fit together.
"What's gotten into you? Where's this coming from?"
"We're all we have," he answered, voice bubbling up in a panic.
"What else is new?" He answered harsher than he intended. That's been true for a very long time, a more honest version of him would have said.
"You're all I have, and I'm all you have. So you ought to have all of me, right? What else…" his voice cracked, "What else is there for us? Aren't you afraid, Brain?" He grasped at Brain's hand still resting against his face and pulled it to his chest, his heartbeat was strong and erratic, "Aren't you so afraid you can't even stand it? I don't want to lose you too."
Oh. The smaller mouse's ear twitched in irritation. Of course. This wasn't about him, not really. It was about that horse. Long after her death, Pinky was still pining for her. He wasn't surprised. What his companion lacked in mental aptitude, he more than made up for with heart. While Brain kept his heart tightly sealed, Pinky's had always been a deep shimmering well of unbridled love. Anyone could toss a penny in, take a penny out. There was always some to spare. It was a trait Brain could have admired under different circumstances. Any time but here and now. Pinky didn't need him, he needed someone to hold onto. He was merely a convenience.
"Is this about her?" He tried to retract his hand from the other's grasp, but Pinky held on tight.
"It's about everyone! Everything! Pharfignewton, and you, and me, and the trees, and Jeopardy, and blue cheese, and tomorrow night, and tomorrow night but it's five thousand years from now, and...and...narf!"
"Yes, I'm sure it is about "narf"," Brain deadpanned. And for all he knew it could be, given he wasn't sure of the relevancy of half the things Pinky was blabbering on about.
Pinky nodded, assuming Brain had understood. Finally releasing Brain's hand from his grasp, he sat back, letting out an uncharacteristically heavy sigh.
"But you'll stay with me, won't you?" His head tilted with a charming innocence.
"What kind of question is that?" He sat up to meet the other's gaze.
"Ummm…." Pinky pondered long and hard, "An important one, I think?"
"Yes, Pinky," Brain sighed. He rubbed the other's arm reassuringly, "There is no place on earth I'd rather be than by your side. And for what it's worth, my answer is not consequential to our lifespan. Whether it be tomorrow or an eternity, we're in it to the end."
He had to look away, his face was heating up. None of this was new, but he never thought he'd have to say it out loud. Never thought he'd have to think about a life with Pinky, versus one without him. He could only assume the latter would be unbearably dull. An eternity without him was unimaginable. He was so deep in thought he let out a startled yelp as Pinky crashed into him in an explosive embrace, sending them tumbling back into their sponge mattress.
"Oh, Brain! I'm so happy! Troz! I thought you'd get fed up with me, especially after a thousand, bajillion years, and I just couldn't bear to be without you, Brain! Really I couldn't! I love you so so much!" The taller mouse curled his body around them, forming a neat little ball, his long tail whopping against the smaller mouse's back in abject glee. He didn't bother to fight against it, nor did he want to if he were being perfectly honest with himself. Pinky's joy was infectious. Perhaps his tail would have wagged too, if he were at all prone to such primal displays of emotion. Thankfully, he was not.
"Do you mean that?" Brain murmured, pressed almost uncomfortably tight against Pinky's chest, but not yet willing to part from the soft sound of his heartbeat.
"What kind of a question is that?" He retorted with a gentle squeeze.
"Pinky, if you are patronizing me I will have no choice but to bop you."
"Ooooh. That's ok! I would quite enjoy that, Brain."
"You would." Brain scoffed, but could not hide the affection in his voice.
Before this moment, he would have described the future as a void. An empty nothing they were hurtling towards, no end in sight. Maybe life wasn't like that. It was like this. Warm, confusing, frustrating, familiar, comforting. Precious. Even lives that last an eternity, maybe every moment could be as precious as this one. Perhaps he'd feel foolish in the morning for hoping for something so saccharine. For now though...he'd allow it. For Pinky sake. Of course.