Shuuhei likes to think that he is smart. After all, he was at the top of his class (once he got into the Academy), and he's a Lieutenant now. Not to mention chief editor of the Seireitei Bulletin! Surely only a smart person could be able to say all of that, right? But even smart people sometimes have some not-so-smart ideas. To be fair, though, he got this idea with only the best of intentions.
"No." Well, Izuru doesn't have to be so harsh with his answer. In fact, it even comes across as cruel!
"Look, Kira, just look at it this way. If I wrap you in bubble wrap, then you won't get hurt anymore! Even if you trip over a tree root again, you won't feel it! So you won't have to cut down any more trees!" Shuuhei is trying very hard to convince the blond that this is a good idea. It has to be, since he came up with it!
"I said no. I do not consent." Izuru is glaring at him now. Oops. He'd better stop now then, because he doesn't want the man who is arguably his best friend to get mad at him. That'd be bad. That'd be a not smart idea.
It is with this in mind that Shuuhei turns his attention down towards the bubble wrap he had been gifted by his Division members. An industrial-sized roll of it, to be precise. It had been given to him with the words of something about helping his ADHD? Keeping him on track? Something like that. He's already forgotten what the original purpose was supposed to be.
"So what am I supposed to do with this, then?" He pauses again, before looking over as Renji enters the room and starts to approach. "Hey, Renji! Want to be bubble wrapped?"
Renji pauses, clearly trying to make sense of the words as his gaze shifts between Shuuhei and the bubble wrap. He also looks to Izuru for the longest time, probably trying to figure out how this entire situation came about. After a moment's confusion, however, he grins and shrugs.
"Sure! Sounds like fun! It's not the season for snowmen, but I'll sure be lookin' like one," Renji replies as he cracks his neck. "So what do I gotta do? Just stand here and look pretty while you wrap me up?"
"Something like that, yeah. You wanna help, Izuru?" Shuuhei answers, even as he grabs the bubblewrap to start looking between it and Renji, trying to decide on the best method to achieve his goal.
"No, thank you. I'm not particularly interested in something like that," Izuru murmurs as he starts to make his way for the door. "Nor do I have time for that sort of foolishness. There's still paperwork I have to do, after all."
"Killjoy!" Shuuhei calls after the blond as he departs, before resuming his task. As he becomes engrossed in wrapping every inch of Renji (except for his head) in bubble wrap, the tip of his tongue even sticks out of the corner of his mouth. After what seems like hours but was probably closer to only thirty minutes, it's done. The entire roll is used up, and wrapped around Renji. The redhead is so bundled up that his movements are stiff, his arms forced to stick out, and he can barely move at all.
"That looks awesome," Shuuhei breathes out as he looks at his creation. Renji twists his head and neck about, trying to look at as much of himself as he can. He can't see very much, but it's worth the effort. Probably.
"We should go show Izuru! Hey, do you think I'd be able to fight like this?" Renji starts, already making his way for the door.
"I have no idea, but we can find out!" Shuuhei follows Renji eagerly, already imagining what their other friend might react with. Probably a facepalm, or a sigh of disapproval, since he's such a killjoy.