Chicken or Egg
Prompt: "We're arguing over book versus movie."
Universe: Modern AU.
Genre: Humour
845 Words
Sesshoumaru let out a loud, disdainful sniff, earning a quick glare from his younger half-brother.
A few seconds later, a lone silver-white eyebrow arched and he drawled in a cool voice: "Now that is just ridiculous."
"Shh," Inuyasha hissed. He was sitting at the edge of his armchair and his eyes were glued to the screen, but an irritated scowl now darkened his face.
"This never happened," Sesshoumaru pointed out in a critical tone. "They're completely misrepresenting his character."
"Shhh!" Inuyasha hissed again, then grumbled under his breath: "You're the one always complaining if I talk during a movie."
"This is butchery, and I refuse to take it sitting down."
"Just shut up and watch the damn movie," Inuyasha growled.
"I can't believe they left out the thing about his wife," Sesshoumaru continued, his voice coloured with personal affront.
"If you don't like it," Inuyasha spoke from between gritted teeth, "you can stop watching and piss off."
"I want to see how they handle the plot twist at the end," Sesshoumaru shrugged, unconcerned.
Inuyasha's hand clenched into a fist.
"Can ya quit with the commentary then? You're ruining the movie for me."
"I am merely holding the movie responsible for its appalling treatment of the source material."
Inuyasha growled, his finger violently jabbing the pause button on the remote before he whipped around to glower at Sesshoumaru.
"It's an adaptation! Of course it's gonna be different from the original!"
"A pale imitation at best, that's what this is."
Inuyasha stiffened, knowing what would inevitably follow.
"Don't say it," he warned.
Sesshoumaru's haughty golden eyes met his evenly. "The book is infinitely better."
Inuyasha groaned in frustration.
"Maybe it is," he said in a tight voice. "But that doesn't mean that the movie is bad."
"I can lend you the book and you can decide for yourself."
"No thanks. Books aren't really my thing."
"That is unsurprising, given that you have the attention span of a gold fish."
"Yeah? Well you – you're a snob!"
"You speak as if being cultured was a great insult."
"In your case it is," Inuyasha huffed. "You take it to the extreme: reading the book isn't enough, even with them it has to be the original!"
"Things get lost in translation," Sesshoumaru said in a bored tone. "Though I do not think you have any prerogative to judge my preferences – that you can enjoy such an abomination as this movie is says all we need to know about your taste."
For a moment, Inuyasha sat there, frozen over the incredulous hypocrisy of his older brother. Then, his mouth fell open in a snarl.
"Bastard!" He lunged.
"I finally got the kids to bed," Kagome announced from the living room doorway. Her cheeriness soon vanished as she took in the scene – in particular the way Inuyasha's hands had fisted in the front of Sesshoumaru's shirt. Reflexively, she held tighter onto her mug of tea as she scowled at the two of them in the ringing silence of the living room.
"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice calm but her blue eyes hard as steel.
Inuyasha swallowed, recognising the signs of a potential storm and let his grip slacken. Sesshoumaru glanced down and grimaced at the puncture holes Inuyasha's claws had left on his shirt. Then, he turned to look at his mate standing in the doorway.
"We were discussing the superiority of books over other forms of media."
"Ah. Of course you were," Kagome rolled her eyes and crossed over to them, taking a seat next to Sesshoumaru on the sofa.
"Unfortunately," he continued, "Inuyasha is as uncouth as he is uncultured."
"You elitist bastard–!"
"Enough! If you wake the kids so help me god…!" Kagome shook her head.
The bickering brothers thankfully settled down.
"Can I weigh in?" she asked, after a moment of quiet.
"Go ahead," Sesshoumaru said, while Inuyasha nodded.
"Personally, I tend to prefer books. With them, I can let my imagination fly. Reading makes me feel more like I'm in the story rather than just watching it..." Kagome noted Inuyasha's pout and Sesshoumaru's gleeful expression and was compelled to continue. "But I enjoy movies too, they're a good form of entertainment. And sometimes, it's nice to switch your brain off for a while." Kagome sipped her tea, studying the two silent siblings.
"So," she said in conclusion, "as far as I'm concerned, both of you are right – and wrong. Inuyasha, it wouldn't kill you to pick up a book sometime. You might even like it. And Sesshoumaru… I love you. But you are a snob."
Inuyasha retreated back to his armchair and crossed his arms as he slumped down.
Sesshoumaru shrugged his shoulder, not offering a comment one way or another.
"Now that your bickering's all settled, can we hit play and go back to the movie?" Kagome asked, her eyebrow raised.
Inuyasha's ears flattened and he reached for the remote.
Kagome sipped her tea again and scooted closer to Sesshoumaru, propping her head against his shoulder as the TV screen blared to life.